April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

Well DS and I have had a nice weekend to ourselves. Dh and BIL went to the Lakes yesterday in the camper, walking. Are camping there. Must be mad. Will be back later on today.
DS and I have been doing nice things, been to beach and took his pull along bike, saw the seals at the lighthouse yesterday.
Today we have been for a walk alng to the park and fed the ducks. We are off to have lunch with SIL. I haven't told her about me being pregnant yet. I might this afternoon- will see.
Don't go to MILs Ducky. Let DH go by himself.

Sounds like you have had a lovely time lulu. It has been awful weather here the past two days.... no good for camping! Did you tell sil?

I went to mil. It was worse than I was expecting and ended up in an absolutely massive argument. Ds hardly knows her at all, he wouldn't go near her and didn't like him speaking to her, which is weird for ds. I can only assume he is picking up on my feelings. But she went mad because she wants to have him stay the night. Ds would hate that so much. He would be so upset and confused. It's stressed me out so much. I feel ill since it has happened

I couldn't make h go alone, it's an hours drive away and he lost his licence last time we split. I couldn't say no as he would make my life hell if I did.

Sounds like you've had a lovely weekend Lulu :) it's beeen lovely weather hear also. I've listerally done all my washing this weekend and it's all dried outside !

Eugh ducky I feel for u having to go to mil! If u know ds wouldn't feel comfortable sleeping over at her house stand ur ground and do not let him go! Both my ds's would never stay at my mil house. She hasn't even spoken to me or the dc's since the split. So my kids have no clue who she is

When do u find out about that house?

How are things now with xh cupcake? Have you been getting on? Is he having ds2 for your now too? I hope my mil doesn't bother, I really do. She's such a horrible person. But beleive me, ds is so uncomfortable around her I will fight til the bitter end to make sure she doesn't have him!

I don't know when I hear about the house... I put the application in last week so I'm hoping this week. There was so many people viewing it though I'm thinking I probably won't get it

I have been slowly moving things out the house though so dd2's stuff is all over the place, I just want to get it all sorted now. I only have 5 weeks left! Well it will be 5 weeks on Thursday until my induction date. 4 weeks until I'm full term.

They are okay ducky. Up and down. Some days he seems like a great dad and being nice, other days he's just useless and pathetic lol
He does have ds2 now yes and they actually have a really good bond. But he still doesn't have them overnight tho.

I hope you do hear about the house soon! Keeping my fingers crossed for u!

Omg 5 weeks left!! Is that it! That's flown by!

I'm 17 weeks pregnant now ages to go! Haven't felt baby move yet tho. And weirdly haven't had any signs of spd which is good but also it worries me that he's not growing right or something's not quite right in there.

I have no idea if my h will want ds overnight. I'm thinking probably not. I'm hoping not. Ds still doesn't sleep, and I know it was ages ago but last time h took over the night shift I had to interrupt and sort ds out as h was getting so mad I was worried

I wouldn't worry about the movement yet cupcake, I know I was over 20 weeks before I felt anything At all this time which really worried me too but now she does star jumps!

It's good h has them both together, how often will he see them?

I'm very worried about h's behaviour ATM. He's being very.... strange. We didn't speak at all Sunday, barely spoke yesterday, now today he keeps texting me asking how his 'beautiful family are' and how we're so good together and he went on my Facebook and commented on a pic of me an ds saying 'MY baby'

It's our wedding anniversary at the end of the month too I'm dreading that.

I have no idea if my h will want ds overnight. I'm thinking probably not. I'm hoping not. Ds still doesn't sleep, and I know it was ages ago but last time h took over the night shift I had to interrupt and sort ds out as h was getting so mad I was worried

I wouldn't worry about the movement yet cupcake, I know I was over 20 weeks before I felt anything At all this time which really worried me too but now she does star jumps!

It's good h has them both together, how often will he see them?

I'm very worried about h's behaviour ATM. He's being very.... strange. We didn't speak at all Sunday, barely spoke yesterday, now today he keeps texting me asking how his 'beautiful family are' and how we're so good together and he went on my Facebook and commented on a pic of me an ds saying 'MY baby'

It's our wedding anniversary at the end of the month too I'm dreading that.

I have no idea if my h will want ds overnight. I'm thinking probably not. I'm hoping not. Ds still doesn't sleep, and I know it was ages ago but last time h took over the night shift I had to interrupt and sort ds out as h was getting so mad I was worried

I wouldn't worry about the movement yet cupcake, I know I was over 20 weeks before I felt anything At all this time which really worried me too but now she does star jumps!

It's good h has them both together, how often will he see them?

I'm very worried about h's behaviour ATM. He's being very.... strange. We didn't speak at all Sunday, barely spoke yesterday, now today he keeps texting me asking how his 'beautiful family are' and how we're so good together and he went on my Facebook and commented on a pic of me an ds saying 'MY baby'

It's our wedding anniversary at the end of the month too I'm dreading that.

Just trying to post this for the 5th time, it's saying failed to post! Sorry if it's posted loads!!

Exh admitted he wouldn't cope with them both at night yet as he's a 'heavy sleeper' and worried that he won't wake up when they do in the night. But I feel fine that they never stay over I think I'd worried my head off if they did

He sees them every Monday and Thursday. That's the days I'll be working. Also sometimes has them on a Sunday for lunch but not always.

Hmm that is weird behaviour by ur h maybe he senses something is not right I don't know.

Oh gosh, do u think he'll get u anything for ur anniversary?

Does he have them both for the whole day?

I have no idea if he knows or not. He's being really really wierd. Like possessive then he's trying to be all nice to me

I don't know if he'll get me anything for our anniversary. I won't be getting him anything. I'm hoping I'll have a house by then. Still waiting to hear about this one house, but two more have just come up. I'm getting desperate!

Yes ducky he has them both for the whole day.
How are things going? Have u heard about the house??

I am really struggling atm and worrying how I'm gonna look after 3 small children on my own :(
I went out this morning to Asda and ds1 was being awful! I needed to get him some shoes for preschool to run about in as his trainers got a huge hole in! He wouldn't try them on and screamed and tried to chuck all the shoes off the racks.
I just brought him the pair and went. We nipped into subway to grab some lunch to take home. He wanted 2 packs of crisps and I said no pick one. This made him again chuck himself on the floor screaming and I paid for the food and tried to leave but he was literally sat at the till screaming and people needed to pay. I also had ds2 and was holding him. I ended up just breaking down into tears and just basically shouted at him saying I can not do this and I dragged him out. I'm a single parent I have one small child on my hip, a screaming toddler and u can tell I'm pregnant as I have a big belly now and not one person helped me. They just sat n watched n probably spoke about what an awful mother I am :(
It's been a horrible day :( and I think I've cried the whole day.
I drove them to exH's house after n said he needs to have them for a few hours as im having a bad day. He was actually really good about it n took them off me and said he'd give them tea as well then I could come pick them up after tea.
I came home had a super long bath and went to bed for a bit.

It's been one of those days where I just wish I had someone.

Hope everyone's else is okay and I hope u don't mind me having a big rant

Oh cupcake that sounds difficult and I'm sure i would have done the same thing. Sometimes I struggle with just ds going out and being pregnant let alone having 2! Thank god your xh isn't being an idiot and took them for you! You are doing fantastic, you had a hard day but keep on because you really are doing great.

Still waiting on the house I'm just really really hoping no news is good news iyswim. am applying for 2 more today but they're small but st least it's something. I came so so so close to ending it last night. He was horrible to me again, really bad. I went for a shower to calm down and text dm telling her once ds is in bed I'm telling him because I had enough. When I went down, he does what he usually does, he realised he went too far so started being all nice. Then I feel bad again. Just hope this house comes up this week.

Then he'll paint me as the devil to anyone who will listen but I'm hoping it calms down quickly.

I feel bad too because ds is going through a phase of being obsessed with him. I know it's really really stupid (and hopefully due to pregnancy hormones) but I cried yesterday because h spends like an hour or two with ds and that's enough for him, then he does what he wants, he's never once got up wirh him, made him dinner, changed his nappy, yet ds was crying shouting for daddy.

He's also told me that my weekly money (what's left over after I pay the bills which is £20 a week) which I use to take ds to soft play/swimming/trips/baby groups, has to go towards the bills now as he can't afford it. Yet this moth he has brought himself a load of new clothes, a new bag, some stuff for his bike, stuff for his weight lifting, and I found hidden booze and fags the other day which he doesn't know I know about. So it's ok for him to spend on himself but he wants to take away ds only money. And he brought himself all of that after not getting me even a card for my birthday the week before because 'he couldn't afford it'. I also found a hidden container for a weight lifting powder thing, it costs £45 to buy. H completely denied it, he said it's not his, he found it at work empty and liked the container so brought it back.

It was just a really bad day. I think the fact I was so tired and exhausted didn't help much!

They always take forever with houses! I hope you get it or at least get one soon!
As for H grr why do some men do that?! Ur on a limited income yet he's got cash (or had) but spent it on crap then expect u to pay up! They only care about themselves

Oh as for ds being all for his dad don't worry. Ds1 is like that. He'll go on and on and on about his dad saying he wants his dad and cries and moans for his dad but then that passes and he doesn't want to see his dad changes his mind a lot! So I wouldn't worry, he'll soon get over the dad phase and want u all the time lol :)

Are you feeling better now cupcake?

I'm gutted. Got told today I didn't get the house... and I'm unlikely to get any one in any of the areas I need to be as they're all stopping accepting people on benefits feeling super down about it all. Can't help but think I'll be stuck in this horrible miserable place forever

At least for now I'm going to be squashed in a room sleeping on the floor with ds and dd. I don't even know how we're all going to fit in.

Oh no ducky! :( I'm sure u will get one! Have you tried asking the council? I've signed up to bid on housing association houses BUT I'm only entitled to a 2 bed until this baby is born :/ and I desperately need a 3 bed.

I'm absolutely gutted and heartbroken :( my poor dog is only 8 months old and I had to rush her to the vets today.....she's got a tumour, had a biopsy today and her results are tomorrow at 11am. But the vet said it doesn't look good at all and he's warning me now it's looks like cancer :(
He said the worst thing tomorrow
Would be id take her in, they operate on her and if it's too bad and spread then that's it she'll be put down :(
She's only 8months old how is that fair!? :(

I don't know cupcake, i need to speak to the council and tell them my situation I think and see what they say. The room allocation is ridiculous. I'd only be entitled to a 2 room as well until dd is older.

Omg I'm so sorry to hear about your dog the poor thing, had she been poorly for long? My dog died two years ago, he was only 4, he had a brain tumour

Did you see the parents when you got her?

I do think u should speak to them ducky, even if they offer u a 2 bed u may be in a better position when dd is due to go into her own room and u could rent privately then?
Keep looking privately tho there'll be somewhere that accepts u.
The council may even help u find a privately rented place and help u get accepted.
Any things worth a try.
I'm gonna try my luck again after xmas. I'd like to move before this baby is born.

:( she'd not been 100% for about a month now but I kept thinking it was because she was due to come on season. Tho she's not come on yet. But I didn't think anything else of it.
Oh gosh ducky :( that's awful! It's hard to even know when something's not right in a dog until the symptoms are bad.

Yes I saw her parents Her dad was a black and white collie and her mom was a brown and white one. She's only got a small bit of brown colour on her legs but she's mainly black and white :)
BoTh her parents were working sheep dogs tho.

How is she today cupcake? Did you get the results back? It's heart braking seeing a pet ill only asked about the parents as they have a lot of problems if they came from a puppy farm type place, the vets think mine was one from a puppy farm he had no signs of being ill and just died one night. I got up to feed ds at 3am and found him.

I haven't had a chance to ring the council, but will do it next week. I'm just going to be honest with them and tell them the situation, surely they can help me even though I have a home.

How are you lulu? Everything going ok?

She's more herself today! :) she has been crying a bit tho as she's in a bit of pain from the operation.
She's on some painkillers to help her tho. I have An appointment on Tuesday to go back to get the results and checks she's eating and drinking okay.
They said they managed to remove all of the tumour and said it was smaller than what they first thought.
But I'll find out on Tuesday if it was a cancerous tumour or not.
They had to remove 4 teeth to access the tumour as it was in her gum! The vet said they were adult teeth so unfortunately she's going to be a gummy dog now!

That's awful ducky :( it's not nice as they can't tell u if they aren't feeling right so it can go unknown

Yes I'm sure the council will at the very least give u advice and how to get a place,

Yes Lulu how are u doing? Not heard from u in a while!

Oh so it was a Tumor!? Fingers crossed it was non cancerous.

I'm feeling very de flated this week. The most perfect house came on the market yesterday. It was so perfect. The location I really wanted (they rarely come up), right size, right rent. Rang up, it was looking good, then they asked my income they said there's no chance at all as I'll be on benefits. I could have just cried. It would have been so perfect.

I found another house, but it's one bedroom and miles away from anyone I know looking like it might be my only option now though.

I only have just over 3 weeks until I'm induced. All dds stuff is in different houses and I'm starting to panic.

Yes it was a tumour :/
Hoping the results are good tho!

Ducky if I were I I'd go with whatever I u can get. She'll Be in ur room for at least 6 months u can look for an 2 bed place in that time. But u rele need a place before she comes because u really don't want the added stress of living with Ur H and then trying to move with a Newborn and a toddler. U need a stress free place when shes born for ur sanity and for Ds and dd to be settled.

Well, I have moved out. He started being wierd with me, I told him I'd had enough, I wasn't happy. He told me I'm mentally ill repeatedly.

I have come to dms. Got to go back tomorrow and hope he's at work so I can get clothes and things as I just grabbed what I could and left.

The social media posts have already started about me.....

Oh wow ducky!
First off, you've done the right thing! Things will get better from here honestly and id just completely ignore the social media posts etc. I'm glad ur at ur dm's.

How are u feeling?

Ah only just realised u posted this 2 days ago!! I normally get an email to say someone's posted and I didn't :(
I hope things have been okay since?

I was so relieved when it happened.

Then I was shocked, we actually started getting on, and talking like normal people!

But now I'm screwed. He is in the house, I can't go on the council list because I'm named on a mortgage, and I can't find any private rent that accept housing benefit.

I'm feeling less than welcome at dms. I've spent most the day just crying cus I'm so so stressed and just want a place for me, ds and dd but I just can't find it.

I took ds to see h today, we got on great, then I went back to dm's to find out that she had called h's mom just to discuss things. H's mom was completely unaware that we had split. Strange. But h's mom said that she doesn't want to see ds.... 'or the little girl'.

So, once again I'm moving out tomorrow, to my grandads. He's very very difficult to be around but I have no where else to go. I need organise to get the house valued so I can see if there is any equity. I'm hoping there's not so I can sign it over to him without any grief off the benefit people.

So stressed. It's like one good thing happens and is completely destroyed by something else. Not feeling great at the moment, and dd will be brought into all this mess in 3 weeks