April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

I have no idea what sex it is Ducky. Yes, normal scan in two and a bit weeks. And I am having consultant led care again.

I am glad to hear you and DH are getting on better. You should be able to- you will always be parents and have to communicate. You must be dreading telling him- I would be. If you stick to it he will come to terms with it eventually. He must know things are not right.

I hope Cupcake is enjoying herself.

I don't know lulu, I think he will flip out he's seriously acting like nothing at all is wrong.

Will you have extra scans throughout the pregnancy? Can't believe that all 3 of us are pregnant again and not one was properly planned.

He'll flip Ducky but he will rely on you giving in when he behaves like he did last time. Don't give in. He will come round and adjust if he sees he isn't getting his own way. That is what emotionally abusive people do. They make a huge fuss and drama, threaten all sorts and expect people to give in so they can get their own way.

I think I will just have normal scans from now on unless they are a bit worried.

Mine is semi-planned. I had come off the pill. We are just hopeless with condoms- same as last time. We were planning for it to happen around now rather than 10 weeks ago. I can feel my bump now if I press my tummy but you can't see it. Boobs are getting bigger.

Lyly that's great the scan went well! :) 10 weeks already too!
I'm consultant led and have to have extra scans, I'll have my 20 week scan then I have to have a 34 and 36 week scan to check growth etc.

Ducky ur doing the right thing, and u and H will be a lot happier and may even get on as friends. But I do think all of u will be happier in the long run.

Well im back home now!! It was exhausting! It was nice to be away tho but 2 little children trying to make sure they stay close is hard but they loved the beach so much!!! Me and ds1 buried ds2's legs in the sand

Glad you had a nice holiday Cupcake. Where did the dog and cat go? Wete they pleased you were back?

We have been to Sainsbury's tonight. DH was driving me mad.
Me - What do you fancy to eat tonight?
DH - Anything, I don't mind.
Me - Shall we have pasta?
DH - Well we could do I suppose...... (meaning 'Oh God do we have to?')
Me -You choose something.
DH - I don't mind what we have.
Me- Shall I make macaroni cheese with smoked bacon and a crunchy topping?
DH - If you like. (Oh FFS say what you want then DH!)
Me- Right, I am buying pizzas.
He cheered up when we got to the cheese and then the beer.

I won't give in this time, will be too late with a house I'm quite scared at the thought of being a single mom of two though!

Oh I'm jealous lulu! My boobs are so small and don't change when pregnant! Pizza is always a winner with me too

Glad you had a nice time cupcake, did you stay in a caravan? I hope we can get on for dc sake. But h can be such an arse

Oh and I'm viewing a house next week I think it will all start to get a bit 'real' then. I just hope he'll let me take the big stuff I will need (ds cot and draws and book case etc) as I won't fit them in my car and will need to rent a van or something. I'm just worried that he'll really kick off and will say I can't have it.

Can you not move out when he is at work Ducky and take DS's things like his cot? Then tell H when he gets back? Do you think your brother should be there when you tell him incase he goes off it again?

What sort of house is it?

DS is workng on his 'choosing skills'. So far this morning we have had:
'nappy off pease' (please)
'like toast'
'No' to chopped apple
'Me go walk' with shoe brought to indicate it wasn't optional. He then got his other shoe and coat and said 'me see ducks'.
'Let's go Daddy' when DH was talking on the phone.
'Now Daddy' when DH didn't stop talking on the phone.
'Mummy help' when DH was still talking on the phone and Ds decided he wanted the buggy taken outside immediately.
We are now having breakfast at a cafe on the beach and he is tucking into an egg sandwich and has it all over his face and hands. Has just said 'No, not dirty' when I tried to wipe them.
It's going to be one of those days.

Ha sounds like ds knows what he wants today lulu! You still using the camper van much?

My plan is that I move some small stuff out that he won't notice as soon as I get the keys, then wait until the nearest Friday when he's at work (so he has the weekend to come to terms with everything) and go to while he's at work. I don't know if I can get a van that quickly though but I have a couple of people who know what's happening that are willing to help me move stuff.

I'm planning on leaving him a note explaining that I have moved out as I am unhappy, and asking him to contact me to discuss contact with dc when he has had time to digest everything and calm down. He was so nasty last time I thought its best I put that in.

Do you think that's ok? Should I add in that his behaviour will affect his ability to be present at the birth of his daughter? Last time he was so horrible and intimidating, I'm thinking adding that in might make him think and stay calmer? Or would that just wind him up more

I'm glad to say h has been absolutely horrible to me today. Sounds stupid but it just makes it easier for me to do what I'm going to do.

I think that is a safe way to do it Ducky and that is what is important. Don't give him your address and make sure no one else does until he is calm and has come to terms with it. It's a good thing that you will be living with your brother as that will make it safer too. I wouldn't let DH in your house if I was you- ever.
Is it starting to feel real now?
We used the camper lots in the summer when we came back from France but we haven't used it for the last two weeks. DH and BIL are going walking in the Lakes next weekend and are taking it.

How has he been horrible? He sounds like a man who is quite miserable with life. Is he? He must realise he is being horrible. What does DS make of him?

I am sitting with my feet up. DH is bathing DS who is squealing very loudly and laughing. It is almost painful it is so shrill at times. I have shut the sitting room door.

Well today he stayed in bed until 11.45, I have pregnancy insomnia, managed to sleep about. 2/3 hours then was awake during the night, then as I was drifting off ds woke up (6.30). No chance of h getting up at all. He saying he can't afford to pay the bills but went out last night buying fags and stuff for himself.

It got bad today because I asked my moms dh who is very handy to fix a chair of ds' that had broke and the screw had been lost. I didnt bother asking h as I have to nag him for months to do anything, I have been trying to get him to fix our fire place for a over a year. And we needed a new screw of a certain size which isn't something h usually has. When h saw me put the chair in the car he absolutely flipped, saying he can't believe I didn't ask him to fix it instead. So I got it out the car, it sat in the hall all day until I reminded him for the 3rd time it was there. He then started asking me where he can get the stuff to fix it and what he needs. Then having a go at me because I didn't know. Then he decided it was broke beyond repair so covered it in a bright coloured super glue making it look a mess

He then wouldn't speak to me until he started having a go at me because I hadn't helped him move some stuff into the loft..... he hadn't asked me before

I went to help him and he sat and watched while I really really struggled to lift up some really heavy bags to pass to him I really struggled to lift them but he didn't care at all.

Then he just lay on the sofa watching me tidy. He would occasionally grumble something at me, like how he thinks I'm loosing it and I tell people things and convince myself I told him

Then he changed completely and started being nice.. moments before listing off a huge list of stuff he wants for his birthday... in January. Bearing in mind, it was my birthday last week, he got me nothing.

Feeling very worried now

I'm going to view a house tomorrow, but I'm viewing it last; apparently there's quite a few before me. Can't help but feel like this ones not going to happen as there's a lot of interest. Then I'll be back to square one id had my heart set on getting this one as it had been available for ages now. thought I could be getting out soon

You will be well rid of him Ducky. He is not kind and caring to you at all and that matters.

Could you ring up and get an early appointment at the house so you are there first? They seem to go so quickly.

Would you not qualify for social housing on the grounds of being pregnant, having DS and suffering emotional abuse?

I tried but they said it's fully booked for viewings seems wierd because it's been listed for a long time.

I could get social housing but I would have to go into a refuge first, I have been offered a place a few times but they don't sound like pleasant places.

My plan is to get a private rent, then after 6 months I can go on the housing register and hopefully get a council/ha property then. It has to be 6 months though as I'm moving to a different borough, but it's just down the road iywim.

Cupcake was it your scan today?

Bless u ducky :( u are certainly doing the right thing and I think the note is a very good idea. At least then he'll know what's happened and given the opportunity to sort contact out for the children etc. Sounds like the right way to go about it ducky. And I do hope u get a house soon! I'm also still looking and there's nothing :( plus atm as my new job started later than expected (my start date is 3rd October) I'm so behind on every bill going and in some bad debt now and I can't even pay my rent this month and it's due to come out Saturday :( I can't even get a loan as I have bad credit. Ahh lol

Lulu ur ds sounds like he knows exactly what he wants! bless him!

Yes my scan was yesterday. I hadn't posted anything about it yet as (as bad as it sounds) I was feeling a bit disappointed :/ it's a boy! That's 3 boys I'll have. I'm never getting my girl now :( all I ever wanted was a little girl. Not sure how I'll cope with 3 boys. I was just so so desperate to get a girl because I'm not physically able to have anymore children :(
I feel better about it today as he was healthy and nothing wrong. And I picked a name. I think I'm gonna call him Jaxson. I quite like that name.

Cupcake, boys are wicked I'm sure yours will all be very good friends and have a great relationship!

Can you get any help from housing benefit or anything? Sounds really difficult are you on the list for social housing?

Had a huge scare today. I was out shopping with ds, I had some pain, it felt quite low down but was uncomfortable. I thought it was just because I needed a wee. There were no toilets near so I went home, when I wiped there was blood so I phoned hospital in a panic. They said I had to go to the bigger hospital that's further away because they thought I was in labor and they have a specialist nicu. I was terrified. Dm came to take me. They monitored me and I was having contractions but they Wernet sure if they were practice ones or not, they tgink the pain is a water infection and aren't quite sure where the blood came from but there is no more and my cervix is closed. So scary. Got to wait two days to confirm whether it's a water infection.

How are you Ducky? Hope everything is OK.

3 boys is lovely Cupcake. Think what you'll save on clothes. We are not bothered as lng as this one is healthy. A girl would be nice but so would a boy.

DS patted my tummy today and said 'biscuit'

Haha biscuit!? He must think you've ate too many

Ds is very concerned about me since being in hospital and won't leave my side. When we got back he made me sit down and made me tea with his tea set he keeps hugging me saying 'ahhh mommy'.

Went to view the house, don't know if I'll get it. There were 5 loads of people viewing it at the same time so was very awkward I think the fact I'll be on benefits will go against me

Hello!!
My internet has been down for a few days! :( apparently something was faulty with the main line? :s
It's back now tho! Yay!

Oh no ducky!! Hope everything's okay? Have you got to go back and be checked or do they just put it as a one off thing? As for the house it's annoying when you View one with lots of other people!

Lulu, biscuit is cute bless your ds!!

I had a flu jab the other day! I normally hate needles but it was actually alright and have felt fine since having it :) glad I had it now!
I'm weirdly feeling alright this pregnancy :s which makes me feel like I don't have a baby in there haha

I have no idea why DS patted my tummy and said biscuit. You can't tell I am pregnant just looking. He patted DH's tummy last night and said 'duck' - dcks are a bit of an obsession at the moment - but don't know what the tummy patting is about.
DH has taken him out for a walk. I am lying on the bed tired.
Are you Ok Ducky?

Cupcake, I'm a fan of injections they keep an eye on me anyway because of dd1, I have 3 weekly scans and regular consultant/midwife appointments. They will probably just change my next scan to scan and consultant I think, but that annoys me because it usually means ages waiting around!

Lulu, maybe it's a phase... ds does something similar... only he slaps. but with me he'll pat it and say 'ahhh baby'.

Have put my application form in for the house so it's just a waiting game now.

Ergh got to go to mil house today. Actually feeling sick at the thought of it