April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

Yes lulu, things are no better still. I have a tin I have been hiding money away when I can in the hope o will get enough for a deposit and at least a months rent somewhere.

Thing is, now would be a perfect time to split! Because one of h's friends rents with someone who has just moved out so he needs to find a roommate, the rent is really really cheap with all bills included so would be perfect for h. But he just doesn't think there's anything wrong at all with our relationship.

I wish I had the courage to tell him straight away but I just don't. I'm terrified of his reaction. I hate confrontation like that.

Yes still looking for a house ducky. No luck yet tho. I've been cleaning out the house I'm in like chucking everything I do not need. I've done the garden and downstairs, just upstairs to go!
N no! They don't know about my pregnancy yet! But I have training the day I have my scan so I'm not sure how and what to tell them to get out of training

Dog and cat are getting on better now lulu. They don't chase each other anymore

Ducky, maybe speak to him in the day and as soon as ur done go out somewhere for the day. So that u don't have to face him. Then he will have time to process what u said.

You see Ducky, that is where his drama queen reaction last time has got you. He has made you apprehensve and more concerned about his reaction than your emotional well-being. It's a classic emotionally abusive behaviour. Perhaps if he thought you were staying in the house and he knew where you would be and could see the children, he might react differently this time- is that possible?

How do you think work will react Cupcake? I would go to the training and try to change the time or date of the scan. Don't lie to them about it. That won't look good when they do find out. I would think the NHS will just take it in their stride- they are a huge employer

DH is in a very happy mood - the sixth form at school did amazingly well in their A levels. We have been out for dinner to celebrate - SIL babysat DS who was delighted to see her.

Could you phone in sick cupcake? That's what I did for my first scan with dd1. I tried speaking to him in the day last time cupcake and then I went out but I didn't have anywhere to go so had to come back.

I think your right lulu. It terrified me last time. He wouldn't want me in the house, last time he told me I had to go because 'I was doing this'. He didn't care where me and ds were going. This time though I don't know what will happen as the mortgage payments have gone up quite a bit so neither of us can stay here alone.

I am still putting money away in my tin. Am hoping to get at least 2 months rent (and half deposit). My brother is also looking for somewhere to move so he said to make it easier we could get a decent sized place together and would go halves on everything which really helps.

Well done to your dh's school lulu! Hope his good mood continues. When does he go back after the hols?

Lulu I've got no idea how they will react tbh. The annoying thing is I got offered the job when I was only 6 weeks pregnant but because off the ID paper work and references took forever I'm now almost 12 weeks! So it would have been easier back then
Congrats on dh's school Lulu!!!!

Ducky I can't phone in sick as its the same hospital I'm going to be working in that I've got my scan at and u do all the training there too haha
Plus I'm unable to move my scan apt as they are booked up until I'm about 14/15 weeks. I can't wait that long

Ducky that idea about u and ur brother sharing is a great one! :)

I'm seeing another house in the morning. And I already know I want it. It has 3 double bedrooms and it's the exact price I'm looking at. Which is great. But I'm not getting my hopes up as I'm fed up of being let down.

Also both DC's have been awful at sleep atm!! Omg I've been so exhausted with them. Ds2 is usually so good. He has been great tonight and is still fast off which I'm glad. But ds1 wakes up every hour asking for a drink and bloody coughing and heaving. It's really getting on my nerves as I just want to sleep
But past couple of night ds2 has been screaming and wouldn't go to sleep. He'd just scream and stand up in his cot and be hysterical. I've no idea why he's been like that. He's been fine tonight tho! It's strange.

Oh cupcake that makes it slightly difficult!!! Maybe you should just mention it to them and as its there you might be in and out in a few mins?

How did the house viewing go?

Hope the ds's start sleeping again for you! My ds sleep has gone bad again after going really well!

I had some fantastic news, my grandad is willing to help me out with deposit etc for a house, so I just need to find somewhere suitable. Although your not filling me with hope cupcake!

Then it just leaves telling h, I'm so terrified!

Yes I'm gonna mention it ducky. Think that will be the best way tbh.

Oh and house was again perfect and I missed out on it by 5 mins :( someone had handed in their application and deposit literally 5 mins before I got to the office! I'm devastated :( but I'll keep trying!!

And that's great news ducky how lovely of your grandad :)
N don't worry about telling h. Wait till u have the keys to the place u get. So that u have somewhere to go straight away. Or choose to move out when he is out all day then leave a detailed note of what's happened and explain contact with ds etc. (This is what my exFIL's ex wife did!)
Hope u find somewhere soon :)

I've had an awful day :( someone crashed into the back of my car at a roundabout. It was an old woman. She wasn't looking and I saw in my mirror n knew she was going to hit me. I got out and said it stop dangerous to swap details here (it was a main roundabout off an A road) so could she follow me over there where it's safe and we'll get each other's details. She apologised and said it was her fault she wasn't looking and that yes she's follow me and exchange details.
Well... She didn't.., n drove off in the other direction!! I already got her car details! So I called the police and reported it. The police man was lovely and asked how the DC's where and told me not to worry. I had explained the last time I was pregnant and someone did this I lost my baby. He told me my cars a tank as there was no damage
But I'm very worried about the scan next week tho now.
Plus my back hurts since it happened :/

Omg that is AWFUL of that woman. Wtf is wrong with people! We're both the ds in the car? I hope not what happens next? Will your insurance people find her? Is there any chance of getting the scan moved forward? Or even getting in at epu based on what happened last time? I'm sure everything is fine but just for reassurance?

I'm worried because I didn't know it was so difficult to get a house there's one coming up that would be perfect because it's opposite my aunt, who would most definitely not take any rubbish from h so she could keep an eye out! But it sounds pretty difficult to get them!

I don't know why, I'm so miserable with him but the thought of breaking up with him terrifies me, I feel really sorry for him even though there is no love between us and we're only together because it's easy.

Yes ducky both ds's were in the car! We were on our way to asda!
Ds2 slept through it but ds1 was really confused at what had happened. And he was ill last night not sure if it's a coincidence!
The police I think are sending a letter as she didn't call in to report it.
But I have an incident number to give to my insurance if I claim. But my car has no damage which is good.
I'm gonna wait till next week ducky, I feel fine as I heard the heartbeat last night! used my Doppler and it sounds so strong and fast! So happy to hear it :)

It's not normally difficult I've usually got every house I've gone to see. I think I'm just having bad luck
Don't feel sorry for him ducky. He needs to learn to take care of himself and grow up.

You should get your car checked Cupcake - sometimes the damage is to the chassis and you can't see it. (This is according to DH who knows zilch about cars.)

Sounds like you have an opportunity here Ducky to leave. You have been trying to for almost 2 years now. It's a hard decision but things seem no better.

DH is at the pub. I have scared him I think. Today I have been quite horrified by the threads about men and sex and how many of them seem to want women to do things like pee on them. It seems, reading the threads that are around today, like it is very common . I asked DH if he would like me to do that and he looked totally stunned, raised an eyebrow and muttered 'Err.....no'. I think he thought I was offering (which I definitely wasn't. I was seeing what he would say). He hurried out to mow the lawn, then put a washer on a tap in the bathroom, then said he was going to the pub with BIL and not to wait up. I think he is scared to come home incase I have a plan. I haven't.

How is ds1 now cupcake? What a horrible woman I hope she gets in some sort of trouble for it!

Haha lulu your poor dh he's scared you want to pee on him!!

Either today or tomorrow I'm ringing the estate agents to ask about a couple of houses. Hopefully going to view them this week or next.

Ducky, when he got back I was in bed. I had taken down the shower curtain and put it over his half of the bed. He said 'What's this? Is it the shower curtain?'
Me 'Yes, it's waterproof'.
It clicked and just for a few seconds he believed it and he looked really shocked then I giggled and he picked it up and threw it over me and told me to bugger off.
I can't believe he could think I might be serious. He says he thinks I am capable of anything if the mood takes me- nothing would surprise him

I think it is exciting looking at houses Ducky.

Hope they get that woman Cupcake.

Hahah omg lulu! Bet he was terrified for a moment!!!

I'm very excited. I have been out all day so haven't had chance to ring them, dm is going to try to ring them to arrange a viewing.

The area I'm looking at aswell I have been in the houses before, they have a spare down stairs room/dining room thing which I'm planning on turning into a play room which has big doors to the garden ds will love it! I'm already planning it out.

I will love it and I know I will be happy once it's all sorted and tbh I know h will find happiness once it's all settled and stuff but it's just the imbetween part that still scares me so so much.

Rang the other day, all the ones I was looking at have gone waiting for a call hopefully in the week with some different houses.

Sorry I've been so quiet last few days. I've had such awful headaches that I just can't get rid of :( been feeling rather down recently, as I've been so exhausted and all I wanna do is spend a day in bed just watching tv but that's impossible with 2 kids
Also since ds1 had gone up to the last class before school in his nursery, I'm not impressed. They know I go to get him at 12:30 each day. But I get there he's crying, there's no staff about and he's just stood there in the middle of the room upset!! Then one came in from Outside and said 'oh I didn't realise u were here!'
One time I came he had his shorts on back to front and I asked him 'why are ur shorts the wrong way round?' They said 'oh I never even noticed that!' Well IM sorry but surely you should be well aware if a child's clothing is on back to front?!?
I asked them to let him have his special teddy for a few weeks till he's settled into the class as he's not been wanting to go. And they have been taking it off him and hiding it as soon as I have left!
Also when his dad picked him up on Thursday he took him to the shop(where he works at) and got him a chocolate bar and his manager commented on ds1's shoes saying 'aren't they on the wrong feet?' And apparently they were ! They were on the wrong feet!!! Now ds has either been made to put his shoes on himself and nobody's been supervising or they are just crap and actually put them on wrong!
I'm so cross with them! His last class were amazing! The things they learnt were great this time round I go get him and it's like 'ok bye!' And I have to ask them, did he eat his dinner? Has he learnt anything today? What has he been doing?
And they stand there like lost sheep as if they don't have a clue.

I'm gonna look into getting him into the nursery at the school he will go to.

Sorry for the rant

Cupcake that's awful can you arrange a meeting with them? That's just plain cruel. I'd flip

Yes I'm gonna Deffo arrange a meeting with them. I've not even met his key worker yet either! Never seen her in there! Can't believe it can go from being amazing in one room to absolutely shocking in the next room! I really don't want him to not like going to nursery, and as he starts school young I really want him to be prepared for it.

How's the house hunting going ducky?

Can't believe they can do stuff like that

How has the sleeping been going recently?

Well there were a few, all of them had gone but estate agents said there will be a few more going up next week so they have dm's number (couldn't give them mine for obvious reasons) and they will let us know as soon as they're ready. They're currently being refurbished so should be really nice inside.

I have also had a few things donated to me by a couple of people who know what's going on (fridge freezer, sofas, tv) which is really nice.

Am hoping I can get one, then I'll have a day just sorting a bit of stuff there, then tell h the following day and go straight there.

The only thing I can think is that the reactions h has to things is all down to control. His family are all the same, they're all obsessed with being in control of everything, I think he thinks he controls me and I won't do anything.

That's good ducky! I hope you get one of the houses :)

And that's a good idea, so you can just Tell him and have a home to
Go straight too. I think that'll be less distruption for ds. Just make sure you tell him he can still see ds and you will talk to him another day to
Arrange when he sees him. And don't give him your address! Even if it's to see ds id still not give out your address to him yet.

But I get what you mean about control! ExH and his family are very much like that!!!

I spoke to WA and a local charity for domestic abuse who have told me whatever I do not to give him my address. But I don't really know what to do because he lost his licence last time it all kicked off so he can't drive.

So would I arrange to meet him wth ds somewhere close to him? I don't really know how it would work.

Think ds is picking up on it all though as he's not been sleeping again X

Well, I have some news. I am pregnant! Bit unexpected but we are delighted. We were going to wait until Novemberish but there you go!
I think I am due about 21st April. We haven't told anyone but I had to tell you two. I am fine, no symptoms as yet and it is early days.

DH has been ridiculously pleased with himself today. He is just grinning and keeps hugging me and hugging DS- who likes being cuddled so is also happy.

Have no idea how I will manage 2 of them but I suppose I will. Hoping this one is as easy as DS although we couldn't be that lucky. We are bound to get an awkward one this time

DH has told the cats, very seriously. I think they are packing their bags at the thought of another one.

Omg lulu! Congratulations!!! What fab news. We're all pregnant again! how many weeks are you?

Well today h has been horrible to me. He's been shouting at me all day. In the end I just burst out crying which is very unlike me he just walked off huffing and banging things.

I'm glad. Any guilt I felt has completely vanished now. For now. He'll start being nice again soon then I'll probably feel bad again cus I'm a wimp. But I'm going through with it, nothing will stop me now.

I'll be out this place by the time dd2 is here.

5 weeks. Early days I know but it was definitely a BFP- we did 2 just to be sure. Although it is a bit earlier than we were thinking, at least I won't be pregnant during next summer. If my dates are right, it is due around Easter.

I am going to try and keep really fit throughout this pregnancy- keep walkng lots and eat properly. I have a friend who has had SPD with her second and she is just crippled by it. She has put loads of weight on and has hardly been able to manage to look after her little boy - who is three. Her husband works away a lot and her mum lives in Scotland. I am worried at my age that I'll not find it as straightforward this time- she is my age too.

I think you are right Ducky - all of that drama your DH did last time was to control you. Don't give in this time. You don't need to be made to cry and be made unhappy.

Such lovely news lulu bet all the family will be thrilled, and bet ds will love being a big brother.

PIL will be over the moon. Am a bit worried about tellng SIL and BIL because I think they might be TTC and it isn't happening. She has not said directly but I have just noticed a few things that are making me think.

Do you think DS will be interested? He likes babies but just as something strange to look at for a couple of minutes and then he is bored. Does your DS understand?