April 2014 thread! - still continually supporting one another!

[Cupcake92]

New thread :)
I want to see lots of our old faces back!!
Come on girls!

Lulu sounds like ur having an amazing time! Bet ur glad ur there longer :)
As for my new job my CRB has just come back so I should be starting very soon now :)

Ducky I have the seabands and wear them all the time. Scared to take them off incase I'm sick but I feel 10x worse when they aren't on. Still feel awful with them on tho :/ but at the midwife today!!! So going to mention it and see what she can recommend.

Ducky living alone is the best thing ever! Even with kids! I prefer it :) I've never rele lived on my own I moved out from my moms straight with ExH. But it's honestly amazing make whatever I want for dinner for me n the boys, only mess is by me and the kids not cleaning up after someone who leaves crap every where. When I clean up just before I go to bed I wake up and it's still tidy and not got rubbish and plates left in the lounge..... haha can u tell I enjoy it?
ull be fine tho ducky :) most of all i think ull be relieved.

It has poured tonight Cupcake. We are inside

DS is fast asleep having scoffed a crepe when we were out earlier on to eat. It had cheese in it and he ate most of it and some sliced tomatoes. He has just been a little star so far. No fuss about not being where he knows anyone or anywhere. He and DH are joined at the hip- they do everything together

It is very warm even though it is pouring so we have the windows open- hope no centipedes come in tonight. DH has had 2 beers and is promising me allsorts. No doubt he'll be fast asleep in half an hour.

I agree with Cupcake Ducky. I loved living by myself. It is really peaceful - or will be when the children are asleep. There is no one to argue with or upset you.You can have everything as you want and do everything when you want. And no one to make the place untidy or chunter on at you

How'd it go with the midwife cupcake? Could she give you any advice for the sickness?

I can't wait to live on my own. Feel like I'll be able to breathe for the first time if that makes sense.

I don't know what is going on with h though. I'm wondering if he does have mental health issues himself. It would explain the way he is and his reactions to things. Yesterday before he got home from work he was really horrible to me. I went to bed before he got home to avoid him as we had been arguing all day. The next day he acts like nothing has happened at all (because he ended up getting his own way) this just seems to happen all the time.

Aw that's so lovely ds is being an angel for u lulu! I bet he's having no fab holiday! :)
Haha oh dear! Tell ur dh not to have a 3rd beer!

Ducky it was awful!
I messaged ExH and said he could come to the apt if he wanted so he knows when the scan will be and so he can give all his health side stuff to her (he had a heart problem when he was young so this always needs explaining!) so anyway he came along.... My midwife asked if I'd delt with any mental health issues in the past 12 months n of course I said yes. N ExH pipes up 'why haven't u told me about mental health issues?! I should know cuz of the kids' to which I said.... 'My pnd u idiot' ... 'Oh yeah I knew that' he said.
Then when I was doing my pee sample (lol!) he spoke to the midwife and said I need to go back on tablets as I'm way too depressed and can't cope.
Which is not true! When I came back in and she mentioned it I was like 'whoa!! U don't live with me and have no idea how I'm feeling! I will speak for myself thank u!' So told her I'm feeling anxious, there's worry if baby is okay etc. Which I knew this is how I'd feel. So she asked the usual questions 'do u lack interest in going out?' I said no I go out and actually prefer being out than in! But ExH said 'yes she never goes out, I never see her out with mates.'
Again I wasn't happy with him responding as if he knew exactly what went on with me so I said 'no I don't go out wth mates in the evening as I have the kids and 'he' won't have them overnight. Plus I prefer to go out in the day with mates who also have kids so our kids can have fun at the same time'

wish I never invited him to the apt!!!

Ohhhhh but get this!!!! That's not the best part! Midwife said I'd be expected to have a repeat section and said she'd advise I get sterilised to which I said I'm not too keen on as I'm only 23.
But 'he' piped up and said to me 'it's probably best u do, kids have the same dad and that's probably best left like that'

Shall I slap him or shall I let one of u do it?

Sorry for the long post I needed to vent!!

I'll slap him for you Cupcake, I am sure Ducky will too Typical man, still thinks he knows best about a woman and what she should do and likes to share his thoughts and his point of view.

DH is fast asleep- as usual, all promises and no action I am having a glass of a local drink called Pineau just sitting by myself on the sofa and watching the rain. It is cooler now thank goodness. I will stay up a while yet.

Ducky, he could have mental health issues- he behaved bizarrely the last time you told him you were leaving. I just think he likes his own way and you to do what he wants and as long as you don't rock the boat he doesn't make a big fuss but if it looks like you might or you might not do what he wants, he gets awkward or upset. I think you might feel much more relaxed when you get your own place.

Oh. My. God. Cupcake how did you not throttle him?!?! What an utter twat. Am in complete shock. What is wrong with him?!?!??? and surely at 23 she should not be advising that you get sterilised!?

Sounds lovely there lulu. Glad things have cooled down. I think your right about h, I never used to be like this, I used to be quite strong, I don't know what happened to me!

Well he's not coming to any other appointments that's for sure. Only scans.

Lulu, glad it's cooled down a bit for u. Haha at dh falling asleep! I bet he wakes up and is so annoyed at himself!

Ducky, she said that if I got pregnant again I'd be putting myself and the baby at risk as my scar would be too weak. :s I've been told by people this isn't true. I know someone who's had 5 sections!

And it's shocking how one man can bring u down like that ducky. Take away all ur strength! U will get it back tho :) I'm not the same person I used to be because of ExH. I was vibrant and confident and talked to everyone! Now I'm so dull, I don't really socialise well and it's all cuz of ExH. I'm still not back to me yet.
It'll take time ducky but straight away u will feel like u can breath.

Did you say anything to him after cupcake?
I have heard your only meant to have a maximum of 3 sections, but I have seen so many threads on here with women who have had more. Seems a very final decision to be making so young!

He has completely taken away all my confidence. I just wish I knew how to get it back before I leave. I feel he's ruined me. Financially and emotionally, and I don't know how on earth he is going around like everything is rosy! I know everything must be 'convinient' for him, but we have completely stopped dtd again, we sleep in separate rooms, it's like there is nothing there, surely he wants more too? Very strange.

No ducky I only said 'make sure u right down the scan date, n I'll come get ds1 at 6' lol
Couldn't be arsed to speak to him as I was annoyed.

And yes exactly, I mean what if long Into the future I meet someone and we decide we want a child together? If I'm sterilised that won't happen and I've known someone who's had 5 sections so I'm sure a 4th would be okay and it's be a long time till I'd have a 4 anyway!
:/

It might be so convenient for him he doesn't mind living like that? I think men like ur h and my ExH need to just be left on their own to learn how to grow up. Some don't tho :/

Well I hope he keeps his mouth shut at the next scan!

I'm fed up. H went out last night and got wasted, I wouldn't mind but he made me pay for his train ticket as he 'has no money' and I have to pay for all the bills. He somehow found money in his account to pay for enough booze to almost knock him out and a taxi back. What an asshole.

It's hot here today!

I hope so too ducky!

Oh ducky how annoying! ExH used to do that! Say he had no money and then I'd end up paying for everything the. Suddenly comes home with a bag full of sweets crisps etc!!!
I hate men! lol!

I went to see a house again today. A lot cheaper and in the school catchment. I've put in an application for it. So fx I get it!

Fingers crossed for the house! You have been messed around loads already with this housing business, hope it's sorted quickly!

Had a scan today, everything is good

Do you remember me telling you about a suspicious message I found on h's phone? With the topless pic. I snooped again the other day. I only looked at his photos but he had quite a few... Ahem.... Naked pictures of himself and loads of topless ones, all his deleted folder. I don't see why he'd have these unless he was sending them to someone but I need evidence of that before bringing it up

Thanks ducky :) I'll hear back by Thursday. Will be a great relief to finally move.

I'm glad all was good with the scan! :) how exciting!

As for h that sounds too suspicious to be anything innocent. Could u not take a peak at his messages? Or his private messages on social media?

My hormones are crazy :/ I'm 9 weeks now. I wanna just cry :( I can't eat and I'm having about 1 meal a day atm. And that meal I'm having to force myself to eat it. Midwife said nothing can be given to me as I'm not physically being sick.
But I just feel so crap :(

Oh I think there's a thread at the moment in the pregnancy topic about medication for nausea. I haven't read it but I spotted it a few times might have some useful info for you in there.

I ran out of time to read his messages he takes his phone everywhere with him I only saw that cus I spotted he forgot to take it when he went for a shower.

I'm probably there only woman in history to be hoping her husband has an affair, just so I have a solid reason for him to go that he can't argue with!

Oo thanks ducky I'll have a look! :)

No ducky not the only women! I used to search and try hard to see if ExH was cheating. As then it'd be easy for me to get him to leave and say it's over n not feel guilty. I never found any solid evidence and in the end finally just ended it. I thought I'd feel really guilty but I don't now as my life and the DC's life is honest so much better :) ds1's behaviour since has improved so much.

Anyone else been prescribed medication for nausea without vomiting?
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2689703-Anyone-else-been-prescribed-medication-for-nausea-without-vomiting

Don't know if that link will work? But that's the thread.

Wish I could find the stench to do it cupcake, but I know he wouldn't leave the house, and I would have no where to go

Link worked thanks ducky :)

ExH was like that and refused to leave. do u remember I threatened him with a court order? Forgot what it's called but I'll look it up. And I'll see if it's eligible for owned properties. Are both ur names on the mortgage? But i said I'd applied and showed him the conditions and said there's no way he'll be able to stay the court will give me the house and tell u to leave. He then went and started looking at houses lol

Here it's called a Occupational order.
It's free to apply for one
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/relationship-problems/relationship-breakdown-and-housing/common-issues-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-occupation-orders/

Just have a read through, it's quite a civil thing and it would probably help u a lot

Thanks cupcake, will read through when I have my lunch. The only problem is I couldn't afford the house on my own, not even close but I don't think he could either.

The mortgage is in both our names although there was a strange thing about it. When we brought the house it was before we were married. H was given £50k from his family as a deposit and it was decided we would get a mortgage and pay 50/50 on everything. In order to get the £50k I had to sign documents saying that if we were to break up and the house sold, h would get £50k back and 50% of anything left over, or two thirds of any money from sale iyswim.

Then we moved in h was conveniently unemployed for months on end so I paid £100 of all bills etc. Even paying for his car and petrol and stuff. Eventually when he got a job he started paying a small bit towards the food shopping and that was it, I still paid the rest. Then we got married.

When we had dd, h got some post. Because he never opens it I open it for him, it was from the solicitor and it was saying sorry to hear of the death of your daughter, then went on to say 'because you are now married the documents ducky signed are now void, in the event of the sale of the property any money would be split equally. Because of this we need to draw up more documents changing information where the money (£50k) came from. Please discuss this wth ducky and let me know if she is willing to sign'. Obviously it was more legally worded. But it basically said to screw me over more they want to lie about where he money came from.

I have still got that letter hidden I told h about it and I was mad, mainly because of timing. How dare she mention my daughter then try and get me screwed over in the same letter! I told him I threw it tho.

I've looked at that page, I think if worse comes to worse I could apply, on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour last time? Maybe?

Did you say it was free?

Yrs ducky it's free to get that court order.

It was ds1's 3rd birthday yesterday. Took him to cadburys world and it was a nightmare it was far too busy and people were literally shoving ds and stepping over ds2 in his pushchair! I will not be going there again. Ds1 enjoyed it tho.
I'm exhausted today and feel really ill I've asked ExH if he would have the kids today so I can get some rest and just have a breather really as I do bloody everything n he gets an easy life. It's just not fair. But he won't have them. He's too busy going out to play on that stupid Pokemon game!!
I was out from 9am till 3pm yesterday, n he had ds1 3 till 7pm.
Only ds1 tho. But whilst he was doing that I built all ds1s new things n sorted ds2 out. So I'd like a break.
It's really getting to me that I never get a break :( he never has them over night so I never get a lie in.
But his excuse is 'they won't sleep for me'
N he thinks they sleep for me every night? Arghh I'm just ranting now.

We are back. Had a lovely time. DS has loved it- he has been in the pool every day and in the sea. Has been like DH's little shadow.

I might have put about half a stone on I think- have eaten lots of French cheeses, crepes, patisserie things and ice creams.

DH and I have not had a cross word.

Glad to be home though. Cats very pleased to see us. Nice to get a cool North Sea breeze.

How is everyone? Have you started your training Cupcake? What about the house you are after? How are you getting n Ducky? How many weeks are you now?

I am knackered tonight. Second flight was a bit of a trial but short thank goodness. DS was a bit whiney and I was worried he was disturbing people.

Glad ur home safe and had a great time lulu :)
I booked a getaway yesterday for me and the kids. Only to Skegness but I'd like to get them on the beach to enjoy the sand :) we are going in September. Bit nervous as I've never gone away by myself with children!

I'm starting training last week of August! Finally! Oh and the house went to someone else. The landlords close friend decided they wanted it so my application was ignored. Getting fed up of that now.

My sickness has calmed down a bit now. I'm eating better but still can't eat everything as some things still make me feel nauseous
I'm 10 weeks now, have my scan on the 31st. It's taking forever!!

That's awful about Cadbury world cupcake :-( hope ds managed to have a good time there though. And as for stbxh, he is a joke!! Won't even have his own children to give you a rest! I would love to go to Skegness one day! I haven't been on holiday in a while! Glad you got your training date. Are you still looking for a new house? Do people know about your pregnancy yet?

Glad you had a nice time lulu, who was looking after the cats for you? Bet they really missed you! I'm 26 weeks now!

How are the dog and cat getting on Cupcake? SIL looked after our cats. She said they avoided her and BIL like the plague but scoffed all their food.
Sorry about the house. Something will come up.

Ducky, that is almost 7 months! Hasn't it gone quickly? What are your plans for DH? He was driving you mad before I went off.

DH has had to go to bed - he has had cheese on toast and a bowl of Heinz tomato soup and is fast asleep exhausted. DS has been in bed since 7. I am enjoying having the sitting room to myself and the cats are cuddled up with me.