TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

I'm at work so got to get through the rest of the day then can come home and put my feet is this weekend.

Just feeling very hard done to. It's not fair that this has happened 3 times now.

It takes all the joy out of that positive test as you are just waiting for the bleeding to start each time.

I'm tempted to just give up. Maybe the universe doesn't want me to be a mum.

Snowberry, I'm so so sorry this is happening again that is so shit. Very in awe of you being at work today! Fingers crossed you can start getting some answers now.

Amy, that is so rubbish of your friend. Don't blame you for not going to the wedding, sometimes you just need to cut people out.

Paco, fingers crossed!

I'm 9dpo today, it was the afternoon of 9dpo last cycle that I started bleeding so I'm keeping my fingers crossed I get a few more days. Feeling a bit crampy- but it's not PMS cramps, it feels like my uterus stretching, same feeling of when I was pregnant. Though I didn't have any cramps last cycle so maybe I've just forgotten what they feel like! More around my ovaries than in the centre, if that makes sense. Anyway, happy FriYAY all!

Day 3 of my 2nd af post miscarriage and it is much more normal. I can't tell you how happy it makes me. Hoping that this continues and I can finally feel more normal. Going to indulge in wine and chocolate tonight before starting my health kick on Monday. I need to start pushing myself to eat properly instead of neglecting myself and then eating stodge because I can't be arsed to cook a healthy tea or pack a lunch. The stupid thing is, I do all of the healthy stuff for dd! Sunday is going to be a tough day for all of us so wishing you all the a lovely weekend.

Well AF showed up with a vengeance. Super heavy and painful . Least I know my answer now though. No idea what was going on with the spotting, never had it before. Just want to go to bed with a tub of ice cream and some seriously trashy films.

for Snowberry and MrsUnsure, and anybody else who needs it. I wish this could all be so much easier for all of us

Ic is it your first or second af? I had lots of spotting after the mc, then my first af lasted 9 days with yet more spotting. It was so unbelievably heavy too. This one has been almost normal and I'm really hoping the spotting has come to an end. and and for you. Hope you feel better soon.

2nd. 1st had no spotting & was lighter than usual and my mc was slow to fully complete so maybe I have extra lining to lose this month. Definitely having some tonight

Hopefully this is it for both of us and our bodies are getting back to normal xx

Loki glad this period was more back to normal for you! So much easier to feel a bit more even-keeled when your body is being predictable.

IC, sorry you're out and your period is horrible hopefully it's heavy and short.

Mrs, glad you've felt okay on the Clomid after a first bad day. Hopefully it does the job! Are you being monitored on it at all?

How are you, elderberries?

Mrs I've got two friends who have success with clomid. I really hope it works for you.

I've eaten like crap all week. Back on the sensible eating g tomorrow followed by full on health kick on Monday.

So sorry IC enjoy your

I usually have spotting the day before AF but nothing today so guessing it won't be a 28 day cycle this month. All this uncertainty has to be the most stressful part.

Snowy you did so well getting through the day. I hope your DH had a lot of cuddles and a big bath waiting for you when you got home. I understand how you feel about the universe too. I keep thinking that if I push this and adopt or something I will find out how sh1t a Mum I would be and that I should have listened to the universe in the first place. But I have a friend who is adopting right now and I know she will be a wonderful Mum and she has been through hell to get there.

Glad you are feeling better Loki. I am dreading Sunday too. I feel like I am a Mum as I had a baby inside me and yet not at the same time as I have no children. It is a horrible no mans land situation.

Sorry you are out for this month IC. Enjoy your wine.

I really hope the Clomid works for you Mrs. I am glad it hasn't been too bad so far.

Thanks Brenna. I teach teenagers so not getting through the day isn't an option.

Bleeding stopped yesterday and hasn't started again so the worst bit hasn't happened yet. I'm getting annoyed my body is stringing it out as I don't want the heavy bleeding and cramps while at work next week. Wanted to be over the worse of it this weekend. Plus until that bit happens my head is clinging on to a tiny bit of hope that bean may make it through which isn't healthy.

Snowberry sorry you're going through this again. I can relate to how you might be feeling, my MC started at work on a Friday afternoon and I took the same view that there wasn't anything that could be done to stop it, so felt I might as well carry on where I could do something helpful for someone else. I was lucky in a not-so-lucky-really way that my MC then was at its peak over the weekend, but I remember when I was spotting before that it stopped and having the unhealthy hope feeling too. Can you call the EPU for an appointment today just to give you some more certainty? I had a Saturday morning blood test appt during my MC and found it gave me closure to know my HCG was coming down, after a week of my instinct saying it was going to go that way but intermittent spotting.

Amy, hugs. Think I'd do the same as you and choose to spend my energy and time on friends who value me as much as I do them. Your friend probably needs feedback that her actions have hurt you though to give her a chance to put it right, so good your other friend can help you there.

Ovia has now changed her mind about my fertile window 3 times in as many days. I think its because all cues bar a positive OPK suggest I'm really close to ovulation, maybe I'll get that today. I'm now at the stage of finding the shifting fertile window amusing as I've stopped relying on it and focusing more on listening to my body and having regular sex.

EPU is closed now so no point in ringing. I am still just having spotting but it's starting to get redder with proper blood in.

Just want it over with now.

Mrs, great you're being monitored on it. I've heard stories about unmonitored clomid which sounds really dangerous! Fingers crossed!

I'm actually really good thanks Loki. Expecting my period any day now (currently 10dpo) and feeling really calm about things, even though I'm expecting my period and not a BFP. Might be because the next cycle is when I have my GP appointment to ask for a fertility specialist referral and I'm seeing a private endocrinologist, so I'm hoping we are on the road to a sticky BFP I dunno, for some reason right now I'm just at peace with where we are on this journey and have faith that we will have a family one day.

Brenna, I feel the same. I feel like a Mum, I just haven't had my baby yet. You won't be a shit Mum! I have also thought about adoption. I know I am capable of loving a non-bio child like my own, and I love the idea of giving a stable, loving home to an unwanted baby. I know it's a very hard thing to do, but I think about it a lot. I know there is a child out there for my husband and me, I just don't know if that child will be one I give birth to or not.

Lucky, those apps drive me mad! I still track when we have sex but don't pay attention to when the app thinks I ovulate. I know when I ovulate, I know my body, so just try and mark the date somehow so I know roughly when to expect my period.

Haha, I sound like such a hippy Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I was doing it until I nipped into tesco to get a mothers day card for my mum and saw a 'happy mothers day from your bump' card. Flood gates opened. Must have looked like a complete idiot. Now I want the whole day to go away. Have to be strong because dd is so excited.

Hope everyone is doing okay. I'm now in my first post mc 2ww. Struggling a bit today as tomorrow would've been the due date of the ectopic pregnancy we lost last year. I know we are lucky to have our dd but I really can't handle all the mothers day stuff this year.

I'm not having a good day. Sil1's birthday tonight and newly engaged sil2 announced that her wedding is going to be on the date I was due plus one year (next year). In my head that date should be my mcd babies' first birthday. I know that it isn't, but it feels like it. She doesn't realise the significance of the date. Even dh didn't put two and two together, but it hit me like a truck. I feel guilty because I just said 'ok'. She'd made a point of telling me and has involved me in wedding stuff along with mil and her sister. Obviously doesn't want me to feel left out. I'm just struggling because I'm never going to be able to get away from that date now. 2 other women in the family are due soon so I've heard all about baby showers and planned c-sections and I just can't handle it. I'm thrilled for them, I really am but it's so hard. I've smiled my way through dinner, engaged in baby talk etc and now I'm home I've fallen apart. Of all of the dates in the year it had to be my due date. I know I don't own the date and I won't tell anyone, It is coincidencedental but it feels like a cruel coincidence. My in laws make a fuss of wedding anniversarys so it will be forever now. I can't even think straight. I miss my baby so much.

Loki sending you virtual hugs. Sounds like you've had a really difficult evening.
I never got to find out a due date, my mc was unexpected as I didn't know I was pregnant. Going by my shortest gestation 4 weeks, I would have been due around September time. What was left after was quite big so I think I might have been about 7 weeks but I'll never know

I've had an argument with my step dad over Mother's Day today. I've been at work 12-8pm today and had to rush out to asda after work to buy my mum some flowers for tomorrow to compete her gift. I was going to go round tomorrow as I always do on Sunday's anyway, but he said I was being selfish not going tonight so my mum would have her things in the morning to open. My mum said it didn't matter but he called me to have a go at me then put the phone down! He's always been an arsehole and I've never like him, my mum put him right though and sent him round to my gran to give her her gift and told him it works both ways. He wasn't going to see her until tomorrow.
So I rolled in from work at 10pm having not eaten all day and stuffed myself full of curry and now can't move I'm so bloated!

This week has been horrible!