TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Thanks Hopeful. We really do deserve a break don't we? x

Feeling a bit more positive today. What a roller coaster of emotions this is. Every day is different.

My best friend came round for a few hours today so had a good chat. Also decided to book a city break for our wedding anniversary later on in the year.

Decided to get some ovulation sticks off amazon. In my head I'm rationalising this as a positive sign I do want to be pregnant again and that I'm also just checking I'm actually ovulating as I've been reading that my cycle might take a while to go back to normal. Although confused at what you pee in to to do the tests

You know the ball shaped containers that come with liquid washing powder? The bit you fill with liquid and shove in the machine? I use a clean one of those.

Perfect thanks Loki . I thought I was going to have to buy loads of plastic cups or something

Yes Loki and the rest!! I think we are all amazing. We deserve so much luck.

Paco ovulation sticks are supposed to be amazing. I have only used them once but all my friends rate them.

xx

Hi Schenker. Sorry you are here.

Everything crossed for you Insufficiently and Loki

DDog has spent the day pestering me to play and chase him around the house. He hasn't asked to play in weeks. The vets trip and new pills are clearly doing the trick. Now, how to keep him out from under my feet while I finish the wedding cake tomorrow.

Today I popped into work in the afternoon as a friend was up speaking to neonatal nurses about possibilities for his research in ultrasound to be applied to their work. It was a bit hard going into work on my day off to listen to him get excited about nepnatal work (didn't know that was why he was up), in the cafe right next to where the EPAC is. On the way back to my car I got stopped by a random woman in the street who gave me two big bunches of tulips as she had been given them by her colleagues and was going straight to catch a flight so didn't want them. If ever the universe has offered me an apology for being horrible to me it was today.

Brenna that's lovely! Have you put the tulips in a vase?
I remember my Nan giving a lady her duty free Jamesons and whisky selection since she discovered she couldn't take them on the plane with her.. I'd never seen a woman so chuffed! It was as if she had won a prize

Today is a bit icky for me, work mate (of whom I'm covering and never met) had her baby bang on her due date yesterday. I feel so dead inside about it all and I don't know why.. Because I'm chuffed for her!

Have a lovely day ladies x

Brenna wow! The universe knew you could really use some love!

Schenker I think it's normal to feel conflicting emotions. You can be happy for your work mate and sad for yourself at the same time. I was simultaneously heartbroken when my SiL announced her pregnancy but also overjoyed that she'd finally had some success after trying for 2 years and having IVF. Emotions are confusing things!

Keeping fingers crossed for Hopeful

It's been a little while since I posted as I've been trying to be all about the sex and not stressing about fertile Windows and cervical mucus etc.

Not really working out to be honest. I downloaded Ovia last month and it's making me crazy. It keeps switching the data around and moving my fertile days. It's currently showing today is my last fertile day yet my predicted AF is 8 days away and I never got above a 7.5 for fertility rating - how can that be?

My cycles used to be 30-34 days but I've had a few 28 day cycles lately so I just don't know where I am with it.

The only thing that's definite is that we have had more sex (although not as much as I'd like to feel we've done enough, just 4 times in the last 2 weeks) and I'm on cd20.

I honestly feel like just going back on the pill to sort my cycles out, clear my head and forget about all of this shit.

Monday was 1 year since the day I lost my baby, we saw it on the scan screen before she told us there was no heartbeat and I miscarried later that week. I've had enough.

Fedup sorry to hear you're feeling so down. This whole ttc business can feel like a right chore sometimes especially when our sad anniversaries come round .

I was in a similar head space to you last November, it had been 8 cycles since MC2, I was using Glow app that kept sending me crazy with it's suggestions that I should eat blueberries and when my fertile window was, and 3 of my colleagues were in the final trimester. I went to see my GP who had seen me through my prev MCs and he advised to basically chill the f out (I was super tense and terrified that I'd never get preg again). His advice was only keep a record of AF, have sex lots and let my hair down, have a drink if I felt like it etc. Which I did and I got my BFP on 23rd December. Unfortunately it turned out to be a blighted ovum and we're back ttc but that last cycle of ttc was a lot more fun than the previous 8. I know trying to relax is easier said than done and I'd been told by everyone to do that but for some reason my GP telling me was what I need to hear. I'm still using that advice now and feel much more hopeful about getting preg again than I did before I saw my GP.

TTC after Miscarriage Hive Mind, I'm hoping you guys can help me with a little query. It's 13 days since MC3 and I'm still getting a very very faint positive on HPT, I've done a few tests and it's definitely getting fainter. The MW told me to wait until my next cycle to try again but I feel physically and emotionally ready to start again, and I'm confident that I'll get a BPN in a day or two. What would the risks/issues be if I did somehow fall preg in the WTF cycle? I've been too depressed after prev MC to let DH anywhere near me for a month or 2 so this hasn't been an issue before.

mimi I don't think there is a risk. They just say to wait for a period so that it makes dating the pregnancy easier.

fedup sorry your feeling down . Ive just started to use ovia but I can see how it could start to drive me crazy. I'm going to try ovulation sticks this time as I had two apps on the go last time both giving me different fertile windows!

FedUp I can imagine how difficult a year anniversary is.

I tried Ovia but didn't really get on with it and then after MC fell out with the developers over insensitive emails. I have gone back to another app (can't remember the name and my phone is nigh on dead charging upstairs) that is really twee in design but nice and simple in functionality. It records AF and lots of other things, is always really accurate with predicting my period and fertile windows but doesn't constantly demand info or keep moving my fertile window. Much prefer it

I did indeed Schenker. There they are there.

I think that is quite a normal response. It is how I am feeling this week. Halfway in between so happy for my friends and Bro/SIL and devastated for me.

Hugs to you FedUp. I hope that your cycles settle down soon. Maybe take Ovia off your phone and just DTD every couple of days. I am finding Fertility Friend is more accurate to my cycles than Ovia, so I am listening to it more right now. Ovia has filled in the blanks for the time I was pregnant and is insisting on calculating my cycles as normal even though I told it I was pregnanat and miscarried. So it is wrong every month and keeps shifting dates.

Mimi I don't think there is much of a risk, it is more to help the dating. Just go for it.

Thank you everyone, I decided the most productive thing to do this afternoon was to take myself off to bed for a nap and a bit of a cry. Not what I had planned, but needed.

It's just so hard to keep being positive all the time and feel everything is so out of my control.

I think deleting Ovia might be the thing to do. I do use a general period tracker which estimates your fertile window and ovulation dates based on nothing but your period dates and average cycle length. It might not always be spot on but at least it isn't emailing me everyday to ask whether I lie down for 15 minutes after sex or have painful periods.

to everyone. This thread is a real support.

Sometimes a good cry and a nap is what you need. And some chocolate

I will join you in feeling shitty Fedup. My boobs are agony and I'm emotional so I know af is on the way. Had a shit week at work and I feel like ttc is going to break me. With every BFN (another today) I feel even more that it is fucking unfair because I already got my bfp and should be having my 20 week scan now not pissing on sticks and driving myself to distraction trying to see a line that isn't there. I think I'm 12 dpo today but it could be 11 because, looking back through my previous posts, I think I got the positive opk on the 14th, meaning ov was the 15th. I just want af now so that I can start again. I might try using a tracker app next month (not ovia though on account of how shit they were to IC - got to defend the sisterhood!) Going to drink wine and eat crap food tonight.

Hi all, can I join this thread? I miscarried with medical management last Friday (19/02) after a scan on Valentines Day found no heartbeat. I should have been 11+3 but baby only measured 9 weeks. I am still bleeding but I think it's starting to slow down a bit. Just want it to be over now, still feeling very low but want to start moving forward (not moving on, I'm not sure we'll ever do that).

I want to wait a cycle before we start ttc but don't know how long that wait will be, as my cycles were already long and irregular before the miscarriage. Just seems so unfair that I have to go through all this again - it took us nearly a year to conceive the first time round and I was so excited to finally get my bfp. I can't imagine feeling the same excitement next time as I will be so worried about it going wrong again.

I am dreading going back to work on Monday - I work in a nursery so surrounded by babies and young children. I am applying for other jobs at the moment, so hopefully I won't have to be in that situation for too much longer. Sorry for the long intro, it's just nice to find a group of people who understand. Sorry for all your losses, and congratulations to those getting their bfps, sending positive thoughts for sticky babies!

Hi Miriam, sorry to hear you are joining us. We are a supportive bunch so hopefully you will feel better talking to us. I had medical management after a scan at 11+6 showed no heartbeat. The scan was actually for my kidneys as I was in Hosp got urinary sepsis. It was all very stressful. Still have good and bad days but generally feeling better. Just finished my first AF and I'm not sure how I feel about trying again. We aren't using anything though so not actually preventing. Just see what happens.

I remember the nurse said to me that if cycles were irregular then to just go for it. Apparently you are more fertile the 6 months after pregnancy so hopefully it won't be too long before you conceive again xxx

Hi mrsunsure you poor thing, sounds confusing. How intense are the cramps? Are you experiencing anything else strange or unusual? Xx

BFN for me too and af due tomorrow. I've downloaded fertility friend and will be trying to temp next cycle although I'm unsure how. Any advice?

I'm coming up to the second af post mc and ive noticed both times that the anger and sadness of my lost baby just comes flooding back. I'm guessing part of it will be hormones because I get moody anyway. Part of it will also be the disappointment of not conceiving too. I struggle to cope during af though.

Bfn for me too but this was my test 14 days post miscarriage. So good news I suppose although seeing the negative brought all the feelings back again