TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Congratulations lilian and good luck albus.

Totally agree with you cheeky about how unhelpful it is for miscarriage to be a taboo topic. The way we can talk about it here helps me feel I can do something positive to loosen it. I also have found there's loads about the lasting impact of miscarriage nobody tells you at the time, like messed up cycle patterns and fuzzy hair and fluctuating hormones and emotions, and without forums I wouldn't have known that was normal. The mumsnet campaign looked really positive but the site info is out if date, would be really interested in an update and to get involved with it.

Update from me is we're now planning our summer holiday away to get a silver lining from not being pregnant again yet. If I'd stayed pregnant I'd be due around the time we'll be away and will find it easier I think to be somewhere completely new and different and busy exploring to stop me dwelling.

Congratulations Lillian and fingers crossed albus

Albus frer = first response but not seen them on shelves where I am, you can order them from Amazon.

Superdrug early detection ones are sensitive to 10m/u (so more sensitive than others) I'd recommend those if you're near a superdrug as they're also not expensive.

Congrulations Lillian! Amazing news. Fingers crossed for a wonderfully uneventful pregnancy!

Sorry I went missing for a while everyone! The fact that my body was taking AGES to recover really started to get to me and I went into a pretty dark hole for a week or two. But finally, six weeks after my surgery, I finally got a negative p test around two weeks ago. Yippee!!

So I immediately started with the opks and as soon as I hit peak, my bloke and I had sex twice, and now I am in the 2ww...

However, just because nothing post-mc is simple, I have been spotting quite a bit over the past 4 days which has been worrying me. I didn't tell my boyfriend in case he didn't want to DTD but it was strange. Sometimes it was just a light pink spot on the tissue and then other times it was like a shot of blood in my urine. Also, my CM was tinged with blood. I had to wear a sanitary towel one day, but then that was the day I had a peak test.

Does anyone know what that is about? I started to worry that it may be a weird egg or unhealthy in some way? This morning it all seems quiet down there again, no bleeding yet. I did an opk on Friday and it was back to low so I guess I did ovulate and my fertile window has closed. But why all this blood? So confusing.
xx

Just catching up with everyone's posts and saw that loki you had bleeding too? Has it stopped now? Where are you at with your 2ww at the moment?

Any news albus?

Sending everyone else lots of thoughts and luck. I am sure lots of your messages are out of date now so won't respond to every single one, but it is an amazing comfort to have this forum. Everyone seems so strong and positive despite the shit our bodies have put us through. I too find it tremendously difficult when someone else announces a pregnancy - I had three last week - but have decided to be happy for them and not dwell on it. I have taken myself off Facebook for a while because I couldn't handle seeing growing bumps and new babies constantly... and that has certainly helped my mental health.

Wishing us all loads of magic and luck this time round!

xx

We booked a holiday too to escape the due date. Kate I've had all of that kind of spotting too. My first af was awful and the spotting lasted for ages after. I even spotted during ovulation. I'm 7 dpo. Trying not to symptom spot or be hopeful really. It's horrible. Good luck to you.

I know me too Loki! I am 5 dpo. Have you stopped spotting now?

I haven't had AF since the miscarriage - I just decided to try and catch the first egg, but this bleeding makes me think that was a wrong decision. The hospital said it was totally fine to start TTC as soon as I got a negative p test but this bleeding does make me worry.

Anyway I am like you and trying not to symptom spot. I have had the flutter feeling that I had with my last two pregnancies and my boobs feel fuller but trying to tell myself that the flutters are the result of gas and my boobs are full because I have put on weight!

xx

Yeah I stopped spotting after ovulation. I miscarried at 13 weeks (baby way only 8 weeks so it was a missed miscarriage) and they said I had a tiny amount of retained product that would be absorbed and come away with my next af. That was the main reason as to why I waited. The first af was very heavy and lasted for 8-9 days but I ov'd on time, getting my surge on cd 13. I didn't think I'd be excited or anything but now I'm desperate to know either way. The stingy boobs are not helping. It's just progesterone - I know this. It's normal, but still I wonder!!!

I feel for you Loki. It's so hard. When can you test? Did you use opks?

I have decided to plan a treat every day this week to keep my mind occupied! Today I am having my hair done, tomorrow I am going to do a yoga class, Tuesday I have a work event... etc etc.

Ovia says I can test in 10 days so that is a week on Tuesday. If I am honest with myself I don't think it won't happen this time, but it was my first time using OPKs so I am pleased that I have figured out how they work for next time.
xx

I did used opks and ovulation was very painful. I could test from Saturday I think. I've always used frer and got a positive from 10 or 11 dpo. I might just wait though. Work will be a good distraction tomorrow.

What is frer?

Ah sorry, just figured it out First Response. xx

Did you all wait for a period before trying again?

I'm in a bit of a weird place. I really feel this need to be pregnant again but I'm also terrified. I'm still working out if it's best to try again as soon as possible or wait till I get my head sorted. I've got a few books ordered (the one a previous poster mentioned) and downloaded the ovia app. Doing these positive things has kept me going. But I feel like I'm doing this just to try get pregnant before my due date and I know that can't be healthy and no guarantee that I won't feel the pain on that day. Maybe better and healthier to book a holiday

Hi Paco...

I decided not to wait - mainly because it took so long for my body to return to normal and I didn't want to waste any time. My EPU nurses said it was fine to start TTC as soon as I got a negative pregnancy test, so we did, and then started using OPKs to work out when the egg was about to drop. No idea if it has worked but the nurses said it is fine to TTC straight away. Some people prefer to wait to get one AF to help regulate their cycle but I don't think you have to.

What is your situation? Have you just miscarried? x

Yeah I just miscarried last Sunday so still struggling to come to terms with things.

I think it depends on how far along you were to be honest. My friend miscarried at 6 weeks and fell pg straight away without waiting for af and had a healthy baby. However I miscarried at 13 weeks and didn't ovulate following the negative pg test. I feel ovulation so I'm certain. My mc was very similar to my labour experience with my first dc. I'm glad I waited as by the time I felt ready to dtd again I was days away from af (although I didn't realise it). You have to do what is right for you.

Paco, I waited for one AF and it just ended a few days ago. I'm now on the 'not preventing but not actively trying' camp. I'm hoping this will allow myself the time to come to terms with it, but also not lose anymore time if that makes sense. So if it takes a few months I won't worry and if it happens then I'll just continue to take it a day at a time. It's still very early days and for me I felt waiting for at least one AF (preventing until first AF) would allow my body to physically recover and I would have comfort that my cycle was the way it should be.

Hi Paco, sorry you have found yourself with us.

Although we didn't actively try before I had my first period, we did not use contraception the few times we did do anything. After ttc for 2 years before getting pregnant and then mc, we felt it would be a massive step backwards to go back to preventing. I was still getting positive pregnancy tests 3 weeks after the mc then gave up testing. My period came 29 days after mc (1 week after having a faint positive) so nothing really made sense that cycle anyway.

I am under the impression that your body will only get pregnant if it is ready to so if you do conceive, it is ready and there is no increased chance of mc compared to any other time.

I'm so sorry Paco - it will get easier I promise. It is the hardest thing for a woman to go through but everyone on here is so supportive and MC is sadly pretty common. I had my first MC last September at 8 weeks, had a period and then fell pregnant again. I miscarried that one in Jan at 10 weeks, and I am only now just starting to get back to normal. After each MC I have felt utter despair and fear but it does ease, and I am feeling hopeful again now so I am sure you will be too very soon. Sending you lots of thoughts xx

Thanks for sharing your story hopeful, I suppose it's very much reality that one could have two miscarriages before getting their bundle of joy. Inner strength has a big part to play and hat off to you for being strong is this your first DC?

Thanks Cheeky - I don't feel strong all the time but I do have hope in my heart. I have two friends who had two MC and then had healthy pregnancies so I am hoping my story will be similar.

And yes it would be my first child. I am 36 in a few months and have low AMH which puts me at higher risk of MC I think but for the past year I have been doing everything I can to make sure my body is healthy and packed with nutrients. Still drink too much I think but have pulled back massively and try not to drink during the working week at all, which is quite hard in the industry I work in as its very sociable! I feel like my life is totally on hold until I have a child.

xx

Wishing all of us lots of baby dust! I just took a test to make sure it was negative and it was. Fresh start now hopefully.

Thank you everyone. You really have no idea how much you guys are helping me through this.
I don't know what we will do but think just taking one day at a time is a sensible option. I think I'm just extra low today as things are still happening. Going out for Sunday linch though so hope a change of scene will help.

Good luck to everyone trying. In a bizzare way I can't handle pregnancy announcements just now but I love hearing about them here!

Paco if you are managing to get out so soon after a MC that is a very good sign that this will be very soon a distant memory. Sending you lots of hope. Keep talking to us on here. We'll get through it together! xx

It's mainly down to a very supportive husband not going to lie the first trip out was torture as of course there were babies and kids everywhere! We have just done short little trips in the car each day to get out which usually helps me feel more positive.