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Conception

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TTC after miscarriage - new thread

1001 replies

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 12/01/2016 13:25

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
smellsofelderberries · 09/02/2016 11:39

Hi Ellie, I also remember your story from the July thread. I only spent a little time I there as was July 31/August 1, but I remember you. Hope you're feeling as well as can be expected Flowers

My SiL, with whom I have a rocky relationship at the best of times, text last night to ask if DH and I were free March 6th as MiL and she were bringing her daughter to London for a special Mother's Day trip and was wondering if we wanted to meet up so we could all spend Mother's Day together. I asked DH to reply as I was so livid the only response she was going to get from me was 'no I fucking well don't want to celebrate Mother's Day with you. Tell me, are you being a malicious cunt right now? Or are you just so fucking self absorbed that you fail to see how inappropriate it is to be asking if I want to celebrate Mother's Day with you, when my baby died and had to be surgically removed from my womb less than a month ago? Because I really can't tell which it is...'

And she wonders why I deleted her off Facebook Hmm

AmyB1986 · 09/02/2016 14:09

Elderberries so sorry about you SIL she sound completely insensitive! Some people really fail to understand why we are upset! Finding out you're pregnant, planning for your child and dreaming of how your family will be then to have it all ripped away for no explainable reason! Sending you hugs hun Thanks

iPatches · 09/02/2016 18:27

Thanks for the advice ladies. Doctor was reassuring and just said not to worry and keep going. Nothing else we can really do, is there?

Loki17 · 09/02/2016 19:12

Bleeding started again. Not sure if af finished after all. It's cd9. Usually all done by now. I'm just going to drink wine. Feel so despondent. In reality, I've no idea when I will ovulate and if the bleeding keeps being occurring then implantation can't happen. Wine it is.

Fedupithink · 09/02/2016 20:37

Everyone seems to be having a really hard time this past few days. Flowers for us all.

I'm on cd3 now. This past few weeks has definitely been the hardest for me, I've been very up and down, very emotional, lots of tears. All of which are just "not me"

This month is a year since my mc so I'm wondering if it's something playing in the back of my mind which is causing havoc with my emotions.

Brenna24 · 09/02/2016 22:03

Hugs to FedUp and Elderberries. I am sure that being close to such a hard anniversary is going to take its toll.

Elderberries, what an awful, insensitive thing to ask.

Someone came up to me today at work, patted my tummy and remarked on how round it is (she knows about the m/c). I just said "I'm just fat" with a laugh and walked off. I feel awful though. I have piled on about a stone in weight since the miscarriage pasrtly due to comfort eating and partly due to not doing my normal running/cycling/walking due to a variety of circumstances - DH and dog being ill/being out of the routine/winter etc. I hate that I may look pregnant and I hate that I have put the weight on. We had pancake day today, tomorrow the diet and exercise starts.

smellsofelderberries · 09/02/2016 22:18

Brenna that's shocking!! Shock even if you're friends with this person, I would be horrified if a friend did that to me! That is just too much. We also had pancake day but it was duck pancakes with hoisin sauce Grin

Loki so sorry you've started bleeding again. Why can't things just be easy for once?! I'll keep everything crossed for you hat this is the last of it and it stops tomorrow.

Thanks for the replies on my last post (and sorry about the swearing, I just get really worked up Blush). Had a lovely chat to DH this evening so am feeling a bit more level headed again.

Every month I'm reminded of that old saying 'the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results' Grin so appropriate.

Mrsunsure123 · 09/02/2016 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LuckyinOctober · 09/02/2016 23:08

Shared moping helps me I think, mrs unsure. Not got as far as infertility specialists yet, but hope they can offer a way forward for you.

Very out of character today but I realised I was about to cry in a meeting and just made it to the toilet before bursting into tears. The topic was one I feel passionate about (impact of austerity cuts) but not sure if it was my feelings about that or my hormones that got to me, or a bit of both. Ovia says progesterone's surging right now but it's not normal for me to react like that. I'm also crampy, tired and bloated. Early super-strength pmt this month maybe? The tww guessing game begins ..

AmyB1986 · 10/02/2016 07:02

Morning all. Up early for work, back into the swing of my normal job today. I don't want to go!

My thoughts are with everyone who are having rough times.

Mrsunsure I hope the fertility specialists can help you and give you some answers. Have my fingers crossed for you.

I have no idea what cycle day I'm on or if mine is kicking into gear yet.
I've been really bloated and crampy over the last few days. Not sure if this is 'normal' after an mc?
My friend went for her scan yesterday, she's 16 weeks pregnant and this was her first scan. I asked her to send me the pictures as soon as she got them which she did. Seeing them made me cry but not because I was upset, more because I was relieved to see a healthy baby scan! I'm so happy for my friend and have been panicking about her scan (she doesn't know this though).
I keep seeing pregnancy announcements on Facebook, two of which were HPT test pictures and saying I'm 4 weeks! I keep thinking you're jinxing it! One friend had a scan at 6 weeks, lied to the dr to get into the EPU saying she was bleeding. She had her scan then miscarried the day before her 12 week scan. Maybe it's me being superstitious but after knowing what I know now, there is never a safe time to announce you're pregnant to the world! From first hand experience you're not safe until that baby is placed in your arms.

Wish we didn't know the heart ache!

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 10/02/2016 10:08

What is with all the insensitive people?! I can't believe somebody would pat your tummy Brenna! I hate being touched and my reaction to unexpected touching can be quite violent so I'd probably have taken her hand off!

Glad you're feeling a bit better elderberries. And I have been thinking that exact same thing about the definition of madness! I'm feeling on the verge of it at the moment!

Mrsunsure you're in the right place for moping and feeling unsure. Also for any of the other many emotions that come under the general umbrella of reproductive woes. How can something that seems so easy when you're an outsider watching others become so difficult when you decide to do it for yourself? I really hope the specialist is able to find out the root of what's going on and be able to help.

I did poas, bfn and AF came back for a brief stint then left again so I think it's just a peculiar one. I'm determined to get a BFP this month because it's my birthday this month and this is what I want! I shall DP that all I want are his very best swimmers, no stragglers and a whole chocolate cake to myself Grin (But seriously, I can't hack it taking another 9 months for a BFP like last time, then I will certainly go mad)

OP posts:
smellsofelderberries · 10/02/2016 10:43

Mrsunsure sending you lots and lots of un-mumsnetty hugs Flowers I am going to see an endocrinologist next month privately as I don't trust some things my GP has said about some blood test results and I think it also correlates to my short luteal phase and cystic acne. It will be a year of trying next month, though we're currently only on cycle 10 as we lost 2 cycles due to the MC. Really hope you get some answers, it really could be an easy fix, there are so many things that can be sorted with medication. Fingers crossed that's all it is for you.

Amy, I can't believe some people tell so early! We told quite a few people early, but only people who we would know would be supportive if the worst happened, and I was so grateful for the support when it all started going wrong. I can't imagine having to deal with the whole of my Facebook knowing! Not that if be embarrassed, but simply because here would be so many ill though out, yet well meaning comments.

GrinIC as asking your DH for his good swimmers!!

Lucky, where are you at in your cycle? I was doing really well until I ovulated and then about 4 days into the TWW I was a mess. The hormone mess around is real and HARD. Hope you're feeling better today!

AlbusPercival · 10/02/2016 11:26

didnt get a positive opk this month, is it more likely i am not ov ing or that I am not catching it with the sticks?

smellsofelderberries · 10/02/2016 12:09

Albus how often are you testing? And when do you start testing? If it's any consolation I never got an +OPK on my BFP cycle.

Mrsunsure123 · 10/02/2016 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fedupithink · 10/02/2016 17:37

Can I ask a silly question, what is the luteal phase? I've done a quick google but im not really any wiser? What does it mean in terms of impact on fertility?

LuckyinOctober · 10/02/2016 20:13

elderberries thank you, I'm feeling calmer and in a happier mood today. I'm now about 6dpo, and today's puzzle has been whether the sharp twinge-y pain in my lower right side I've had for most of the day could, just maybe, be implantation pain, or whether the similar twinge-y pain in my lower left before that could be - Ovia said the lower left pain could be. Who knows? Each month I start off tww resolved to stay calm and not symptom spot, but fall into the trap anyway. Maybe it's the reproductive equivalent of trying to resist crisps, get motivated to go to the gym and cut down on work .. all of which I probably should do, but get pulled into or out of anyway.

albus I'd think more likely that the OPKs aren't catching it, but if you use them for a few cycles you'll probably get a better idea? Have you followed the instructions exactly? I only ask that as I didn't realise initially that I should limit my fluid intake and not pee for 4 hours before doing my tests, or that late afternoon/early evening was weirdly the best time to do them. They do seem like a temperamental species ..

fed up the luteal phase is the part of your cycle between ovulation and that start of your period. During that time your body releases progesterone which is needed to sustain the pregnancy. Average luteal phase is 12-14 days, if it's less than 12 days there's a chance you won't have made enough progesterone to make the pregnancy stick, so that's why prescribing progesterone would be thought to help. Or that's my understanding of it anyway. I'm still trying to assess my own luteal phase each cycle to work out if mine's worth thinking more about or not - last cycle was the first time I was able to measure it (was either 11 or 12 days, 11 being on the short side, 12 being OK) so it's early days.

Bonxie · 10/02/2016 21:42

Evening all - just checking in. Still getting pains that could well be lentil wind, breast pain and tiredness. I also spent a good couple of minutes searching through my bag for my wrist warmers earlier, cursing that I'd have to go back to collect them. I was wearing them Confused Hormones are doing something, even if it's just pmt. day 23 now. Early night as if I'm asleep I can't be speculating. And googling.

AmyB1986 · 10/02/2016 22:24

Bonxie that really made me laugh Grinhope though it's an early sign.

Had my blood test results, my levels are now at 19 so still not negative blood wise but they are urine wise. The EPU nurse said I should get my period soon but not holding out hope for that really.
I've been worrying about the cyst they found on my ovary too as I've been getting a lot of odd pain in my left side. She said it was a functional cyst, simple and fluid filled most definitely the corpus luteum which is overfilled due to the pregnancy and mc and should disappear by itself as with the hcg. Weight off my mind.
Also stepped on the scales and have lost a stone in weight or 6.3kg since my operation in November. Not even done anything differently so inspired me to get going with healthy eating. Want to drop one dress size, 16 to 14.
Always struggled with my weight since being a teenager, up and down!

Hope everyone has had a good day Thanks

AlbusPercival · 11/02/2016 10:17

yes, using them as stated

I think I may also have a very short luteal phase approx 9 days

Will a dr see me for that or is that part of the 3 mc before we look at you thing?

Fedupithink · 11/02/2016 11:09

Thanks Lucky I'll have to look into it this month but I think I'm ok as there is usually 2 weeks+ between when I think I ovulate and my period starting but good to know.

I'm now cd5, period ended and preparing to "not try" and make it all about the sex - so why am I still counting down! I really hope this is my month. We've got a big holiday planned and after the mc and complications I'd feel a lot better going away if I was beyond the 12 week point - I'd be about 15 weeks if it happens this month, although I know there are still no guarantees.

MimiDoddrioni · 11/02/2016 16:51

Hi everyone, mind if I JOIN you? Just had MC#3 confirmed and waiting for EPRC as I'm keen to start ttc again. It took 9 mths to get my latest BFP, hope I don't have to wait that long again.

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 11/02/2016 16:55

Hi Mimi you're very welcome to join us, although I'm very sorry you have to find yourself here. Are you being offered any medical investigations as it is your third? Flowers

OP posts:
InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 11/02/2016 17:03

Found out yesterday SiL is pg. Took it harder than I thought I would. Not because I'm jealous, it took her 2 1/2 years and a round of IVF to get here but because I'm one part nervous on her behalf and another part terrified at the thought of having to go through so much to get a baby myself.

Also have a UTI which had better clear up before my fertile week kicks in

Grin at Bonxie and lentil pain! I really hope it's something more exciting!

OP posts:
redstrawberries101 · 11/02/2016 17:28

Hi everyone, just caught up on the thread. Hope your all doing ok.

I was getting a bit anxious about first AF post mc not coming, but it turned up yesterday, exactly 5 weeks from miscarriage. Felt sad when I realised but also happy that I can look forward once it's over. I would like to give body time to recover and there is a lot going on in my life right now but I don't see it really settling so I think we will refrain from contraception but not actively 'try' either. Just see what happens.

Feeling really quite tired but got to go to a family thing. Just got in from work and about to shower and leave. It's our 5th anniversary this weekend and I was going to be so excited to be over 16 weeks now. We haven't managed to plan to go away either because of other things and everything just feels a bit all over the place. One of those moments I'm questioning how I'm spending my life!

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