TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

So 4 weeks from my initial mc bleeding started I've finally got a true bfn on a HPT this morning. One more blood test to go on Tuesday to make sure my hcg levels are under 50 (55 last Tuesday) and then discharge from the EPU to wait for af! Not had any spotting or anything for 2 days now, 18 more to go so I can call my next bleed af.
Feeling a lot better too, still low on energy but not exhausted to the pint I can't move.
Been taking my seven seas conception vitamins for the last week and was taking folic acid before that. Also been drinking my aloe gel and upped the dose because of the mc from 60ml to 120ml and will carry on that for the next week then drop it back down to 60ml. It's supposed to help with absorbing nutrients and to help healing.

Hope everyone has a good day, I'm doing all of my laundry today and my DD's have made a fort out of my clothes airer and all of the blankets they could find in the house. Might have to hide in there with them until DH returns from work.

Hiding in a blanket fort sounds kinda fun, especially with such miserable weather
Glad you're feeling better anyway Amy and hopefully your energy levels will pick up more now you've stopped bleeding.

My AF is different to normal - normally have 1 light day, 2 heavy days, and then it starts tailing off slowly for two days. So far it's been lighter than normal although it was a bit heavier this morning but so much more painful. Constant cramps and sharp pains compared to just the first day being painful of a normal period. I suppose I do have that remaining tissue to clear out though (sorry for TMI!).

IC sorry to hear you're suffering with your period I think we're past the point of TMI on here though!

Work today is ridiculous, can't quite believe I only have 14 days left though! Hope everyone's Monday isn't too bad.

Thanks elderberries. It appears to have gone AWOL this afternoon. Who knows what's going on! At least it's stopped hurting for now though.

I hope your last 14 days go quickly!

I'm going to be that really annoying person and say it! Could it have been implantation? That's what my BFP cycle was like, period started, right on time so when it dried up after 24 hours it was a bit of a lightbulb moment!

Just spoke to a friend who was such an amazing support through my MC- I was wondering if she was pregnant when I saw her last week as she didnt get her usual coffee or even a tea. I didn't mention anything as I figured she would tell me when she was ready if she was. Anyway, she text today to say she is (it's v early) but it's not looking good I feel so so terrible for her. I met her at a playgroup I take my charges to and out of the 20 or so women who go, 5 of us have had losses or near losses, just over the past month. It's amazing what we will go through in the pursuit of a baby.

And I've just have another friend (who was VERY unsupportive through the MC) who is looking at IUI (as a single person-so no known problems) and she's complaining that she has to have a few blood tests and pay for a second consultation and saying 'not sure it's worth it' I snapped and was like 'guess we all have different levels of what's 'worth it' to get our baby'. Women who have recurrent MCs and surgery and invasive treatments to even have a shot at a baby and she's complaining about a few blood tests. This is coming off the back of a lot of other insensitivity so not sure this friendship is 'worth the effort' right now!

I'm hoping af is finished so back on with ttc. Feel rotten but trying to push through and dtd. its CD8 so we are on with the smep plan!

Grrr to insensitive people!

Today I'm trying not to obsess about the pains I'm having in the womb area as they are almost certainly a result of wind from all the lentils I've been eating BFP cycle I had similar ones, so it's a struggle not to get carried away. CD 21 of first cycle trying post mc; the next week is going to be very slow...

How insensitive of her Elderberries! I hope your other friend gets some good news.

I suppose implantation isn't impossible. Seems like too much blood for implantation though but not enough for a period. Who knows what's going on?! I will poas in the morning...

Bonxie I hope those pains are something more exciting than lentils!

Sorry you're feeling rotten Loki

I'll keep fingers crossed for you IC. So confusing, isn't it all?

Bonxie I hope those pains are not lentil pains! Fingers crossed!

I hope your periods ave finished now IC and Loki. And that this coming month is successful for you.

I still have no clue whether I ovulated last monday or if I did on thursday as I had 2 LH surges. If it ws monday we have a chance for this month as we dtd to completion on sunday. DH went completely off it after that and I ended up quite upset. I know it must be hard to be under pressure but he really wants a family and all he has to do for that is have sex. I am the one getting up early every day to take my temperature/not drink after a certain point at work, then rush home to do the OPK/take all my vitamins. He wants me to not drink/watch what I eat/not travel and I still have to be up for sex whenever he can during my fertile window. So I am feeling a bit hard done by right now. We did mostly sort it out last night and DTD again but I think I missed most of my fetile window. I am so fed up. He is going away right at the start of my next fertile window and needs a few days DTD to warm up before he can finish, so I guess next month is out. My mother is threatening to come and stay the month after. Would it be acceptable to stuff her in the living room with instructions to keep her ears shut as we are in our fertile week? Because otherwise that is another month out.

We were at my brother and SIL on saturday night. They are due next week and SIL is booked in for a section the week after if she hasn't gone naturally by then as her birth was hard last time and ended in an emergency section after 48 hours of labour. I am due to go down and look after my nephew if they need to go in quickly and need a babysitter at short notice. I was 10 weeks behind them so this is going to be hard. I really wanted to be pregnant again by now. It would make this bit easier.

Hello ladies.
Please excuse me if I am being naive or inappropriate with this post. I know you all have your own journey. This may also be TMI but I need to ask.

Basically, I had a very, very early mc last week. I was only 4+6 so barely even knew I was pregnant, but still a shock, not really dealing with it very well at the moment. Bleeding started and DH asked me what it was like, and I found myself saying, "...it's like my period was before I had the implant." Then I got thinking.

I was on the implant for 12 years - 4 implants in total. I never really tracked my cycle during that time, but the periods were irregular, short, light and painless.

I had the implant removed and had a period 9 days later - again, short, light, painless, lasting 3 days. Same again 27 days later, and same again 27 days after that (we had TTC that cycle but only in the last 7 days so we knew it was not going to happen).

The next cycle was the cycle I conceived and then mc. I found out I was pregnant on cd27, so when my period would have been due based on the 3 previous cycles since having the implant removed.

But now, the bleeding is exactly like my period was 12 years ago before implant. Heavy. Painful. A very different colour to the periods I was getting before whilst on/just off the implant. I haven't experienced this in 12 years, but I "recognise" it instantly. (I also used to have a 30 day cycle, and my periods were 5-6 days rather than 3)

Do you think there's any connection here, or am I trying to look for "reason" where there is none? I sort of feel like my body is having a "proper" period, the kind I haven't seen for over a decade, yet I was pregnant and now no longer.

Thanks for reading. I know this was long, and probably TMI, but I wanted to ask.

Hi all, hope you're all ok.
IC and bonxie have my fingers crossed for both of you!

Brenna hope you get your BFP soon, you never know one tadpole might be lying in wait for your egg!

Elderberries sounds awful, hoping you and your friend have some good news around the corner.

I was talking to my nana today, she knows about my mc as she was looking after my DD's whilst I was at the hospital being scanned.
I was saying about the mc and how I didn't really know what was happening because I didn't know I pregnant until I tested during bleeding, I said I was upset.
She then said to me 'it's for the best, your girls are off your hands now. Why do you want to tie yourself down again?'. My girls are 6 and 7, far from off my hands! I said I wanted another baby because I love being a mum and that kids are never really off your hands, you always have to be there for them. I had to leave, I could feel myself boiling over
My nan isn't very maternal, she left my grandad and 4 kids to fend for themselves, my mum was 6 at the time and the eldest of the 4.
I'm lucky to have my two daughters and I'm grateful for them, but I enjoy being a mum so much I want to do it again.
Is that difficult to understand?
Currently looking for a child minder so my daughters don't have to go to her house on Mondays whilst I'm at work, sure she thinks she'll get lumbered with the baby when I go back to work after that's if I manage to conceive again!

Sorry ranting on! Really really angry

Amy I'm so sorry. That is such an awful thing for you to have to listen too. Complete bollocks too. You want another baby. End of discussion. Don't let anyone minimise your loss.

Hi iPatches - could be that it is heavier because of a thicker lining due to pregnancy hormones? My 3 AF cycles after mc at 10 weeks were definitely heavier than normal.

Sorry you are going through this and it's normal to try to look for reasons and explore the what ifs.

Sorry to hear AmyB - that sounds very insensitive of her to say. 6 and 7 year olds are still babies to me!

She's obviously not the kind to understand. I would just pay her no mind!!

I'm so sorry you had to listen to that Amy, that really really sucks. It must be so hard to hear but your really don't need to justify wanting another baby to anyone. That is between you and your DH.

Patches I know how you feel about the periods. I've only just had my first one post MC, which was a bit heavier, but my periods last year were so so light that I can't believe they were healthy. What you've just had isn't just a period though, it's is a miscarriage, albeit an early one, so you may find they go back to being a little lighter over the next few cycles. Right from when the bean implants your lining will have been growing, hence there being so much blood loss.

Mrsunsure why do you think you will never have a family? Where are you in your cycle right now? I always feel despondent about 5-7 days before my period starts and am sure we will never be pregnant, then by cycle day 4 or 5 I get all optimistic again YAY hormones!! Hopefully a few positive hormones are around the corner for you.

Thanks for your support everyone, I'm not listening to her and her insensitive ramble. I told my mum and my mum went crazy and said she'd have a word with her! In her own word called her an old bag with no heart

Ipatches- after each pregnancy your hormonal make up completely changes, thus the reason for your period being different. After I came off the pill my periods were heavy for 4 days from day two and lasted around 6 days regular as clock work every 29 days. After I lost my twin pregnancy they were every 28 days but much heavier flooded a pad every 2 hours or so. I then had a chemical pregnancy which threw my cycle completely off wack. Regular however, it would go 27 27 32 which was weird and so heavy and painful. The last cycles I had before my depo injection were regular 28 days but lasted 7 days and were really heavy.

If you're concerned go and talk to your doctor. They might suggest using the pill for a couple of months to regulate you and slow the flow so to speak but if you're TTC then that's not really an option or wait a couple of months to let your body regulate itself.
Dreading my first af, I know it's going to be heavy and painful like when I was a teen

Hello, can I join

Loki - I think I remember you from the July thread X I'm sorry if I have the wrong name

Amy - my first AF was nothing like I expected, a very faint thing

My second sparodic to say the least, I mistook it for implantation bleeding, I felt so very confused

I'm now right on time to ovulate I've been using the Clearblue monitor and all high days, I thought I had a peak but looking at test it was just flooded :( but all the signs today if ovulation and on both sides! Hoping that we made it happen

Hugs Amy. That is a horrible thing to say. She really doesn't understand how you feel about having a family and you shouldn't have to justify those feeling anyway.

Hugs to everyone who's hurting unfortunately I think unless you've had a miscarriage it's hard to totally get it, this thread helps me feel less isolated by that.

Good luck to the other ladies in tww, joining you there now.

brenna it only takes one sperm to make it, I'm telling myself that this month as while we dtd a few times after my positive opk we missed the opportunity to capitalise properly on my fertile window as the surge came earlier this cycle. I empathise with your sense that women have the hard part, men just get the fun bit. I'm lucky that my DH has been laid back and good humoured about it, although he had a sciatica attack the day I ovulated which made finding a comfortable way to dtd tricky, I guess we all have our moments in this process.

A good friend told me she's expecting today, she knows about my MC and was really sensitive and thoughtful about how I might feel. I was relieved to just feel genuinely happy for her and to have hope that our time will come too.

I have felt so isolated lucky

This journey is such a hard one x

Hi Ellie - right person from the July forum. Sorry we are all here. If this cycle is 'normal' then I should ovulate on Sunday. We shall see. I hate the tww at the best if times. Not sure how I'll be this time. I know I need to just get this month out of the way. Once I've been though everything once I know I'll cope a little better.

Hi Ellie. I hope you feel less lonely on here. I find that knowing others are going through similar and being able to vent helps (even if I wish we all didn't have to).