TTC after miscarriage - new thread

[InsufficientlyCaffeinated]

I just spotted that the old thread was now closed to new messages so thought I'd start another. The old thread for reference: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2457787-TTC-1-after-miscarriage-looking-for-some-buddies

Thanks cheeky and Loki I'll go and buy some today. The itch is unreal! I found some E45 at 4am so covered myself in that then managed to get 2 1/2 hours sleep. Luckily I'm not at work today so think once my DD's have gone to school I'll be going back to bed.

Hello, can I join? I mc'd naturally on 24th Jan at 8weeks.

When I spoke with the nurse at my scan and follow up she said we could start trying whenever bleeding had stopped and I'd had a negative test (which was this morning), although dating by was difficult if we didn't wait a cycle. But to be honest I just want to get back on the horse (so to speak), so we'll start trying again this week. Our first pregnancy was very quick so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the same.

Since my mc I have read 'It Starts With The Egg' by Rebecca Fett, which gave some good info about what factors effect the risk of mc, so I'm changing some of my habits to reduce the risks (although she suggests this should be done 3-4months before conception - but hopefully every little helps).

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this month!

Hi Sarah welcome and sorry for your loss X

Hi Sarah and welcome, although I'm sorry that you have to find yourself here. Good luck with TTC. I've come across a few people who have read It Starts With The Egg now, might have to give it a try. Is it evidence based?

Hi Amy and Insufficiently . The book is really quite informative. Rebecca went through IVF using a surrogate and found she had diminished ovarian reserve, so (because of her background in molecular biology) she basically researched the way to get her eggs to their best possible standard so her surrogate would have the best possible change of carrying a pregnancy to term. From this she had the best batch of eggs/embryos that her clinic had seen. She started mentioning her techniques to friends and decided to do more research for getting the best chances if you have low fertility, recurrent miscarriage and other problems with conception/carrying a baby to term. The book is pretty balanced and gives some good evidence and references throughout.

I don't know if my mc was just one of those things or a problem because I'm 34 (this was my first pregnancy) and my egg quality is reducing. But I figure reducing plastics in my home, taking some extra supplements and changing my diet (somewhat) are only good things anyway.

It's well set out, so if (for example) you don't have diagnosed PCOS then you can skip that section. I would recommend it. Xx

Congrats lex and twinkles - it's definitely nice to see some BFPs on here.

Recap of my story as requested, I found out I was pregnant early in July, but at around 7 weeks I had some bleeding on and off. Got referred to EPAU and dates were measuring about 5 weeks not 7. Follow up scan in week 9 was good, and we saw a heartbeat so went on holiday as planned but unfortunately I had really heavy bleeding whilst away. When i was back, went back to EPAU and found out is had a miscarriage (mid August)

Queue some seriously fed up months and lots of tears, but now hopefully I've got a glimmer of hope :)

So good to hear positive stories ladies!

I had a small amount of spotting today, I'm approx 9DPO I had a 10/11 day LP average and was hoping some new vitamins I started might have made a difference as the first month I started taking them my acne cleared up and I got pregnant. Guess that was just a fluke. My cervix is quite high and soft though, like when I was pregnant, so who knows. Really hope I have a few more days before my period starts

Can I join you ladies?

MC Dec 2014, pg straight away on next cycle, mc again end of March 2015.

Took some time off TTC to recover mentally, back on it now since October but no joy yet.

Welcome to Albus and Sarah, though sorry to hear you've been through MC too.

Congratuations to twinkle and lex, clearly a good luck week for our thread!

Brenna I've had it the opposite way round from you, I've ovulated earlier than last cycle (last cycle it was CD19 I got my positive OPK, this cycle I got it yesterday which was CD15). I guess because I got pregnant straight away after coming off the pill and have only tracked my cycle properly for the first time last cycle, I'm still getting to grips with what is normal for my body - so don't really know if I should be expecting to ovulate nearer CD15 or CD19. As such, will keep up the OPKs as I like the reassurance I'm ovulating, and it's only thanks to the OPKs I worked out it was happening earlier this month in order to prioritise doing the necessary! It has meant Ovia changed my fertile window, so haven't got the run up to ovulation dtd in as much as I'd have done had I known this past week was my fertile window, so intend to make up for it as much as we can over the weekend in the hope of still catching the egg! :-)

Elderberries is it possibly implantation spotting you're getting?

Welcome Albus.

Lucky definitely not implantation bleeding, it's getting heavier and I'm having some cramps now. I'm really upset, I felt like we might have a shot with an 11ish day LP like I had before the MC but we've no hope if it's only 9 days

I'm so pissed off. I never thought getting or staying pregnant would be a problem for me. How stupid I was. It's just not bloody fair.

On the plus side, I was terrified of Asherman's so looks like that's not a problem

elderberries I'm sorry your having a hard time. It's such a horrible emotional roller coaster!

Despite having had a darker HPT this eve I'm still absolutely terrified that I might actually be pregnant again. My oh had pretty much told me that he can't even think about it as - his words- "it's not even anything yet" I'm finding his response quite hard to deal with, but I know it's just self preservation for him. Half of me feels the same but the other half of me feels so upset at that and I said to him that all I can do is live in the moment and at the moment it looks like I am pregnant so surely I have to embrace that?? Feeling pretty emotional tonight. Blimmin hormones!!!
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone I'm hoping someone might be able to help me as I feel I'm going mad. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks back in October...since then I have been getting my period but OPKs are negative through the month and I'm not getting my usual pms symptoms. Can anyone shed any light on this x

That sounds difficult Lex. I can understand your OH being scared of seeing you go through another mc but at the same time it's not going to help lessen your fear. Have you sat down with him and talked about another pregnancy and how you feel? I'm with you on living for the moment. Unfortunately there's no way of knowing how it will turn out but the odds are in your favour so there's every reason to believe this pregnancy will go well and you will get to meet this baby.

Starryeyed Have you seen a Dr about your cycle? Could be low oestrogen levels maybe

My AF has finally arrived. I was eager to get it so I can start again but seeing the blood was a bit heart-wrenching. It's also 31 days after mc so feels like all that happened was a heavy period and I was never really pregnant. This isn't how it was supposed to be . Now it's here I want it gone so I can start again

Snap, IC. Seeing the blood brings it all back doesn't it? It's only been 26 days since my ERPC so I've just had a 25 day cycle as period started yesterday usually I'm 28-35 days!

I've found this af utterly horrendous too ic. Mine started with my usual PMS symptoms at the end of last week. I was craving sugar and extra hungry, moody etc. AF started very lightly on Monday. Got a little heavier on Tuesday then full flow by the end of Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday evening it ramped right up and I flooded twice during the night. It was so similar to the night I woke up and everything came out during the mc. I nearly lost it emotionally and was a mess the next day. I had 24 hours of very heavy bleeding (soaking through a super plus tampax every hour and needing a pad for security) Then Friday day was much more normal although it was heavy. Today I've got hardly anything so far. Usually I have three days of heavy af followed by a light day then two medium days and it's done. Very different to normal. I had less pain than a normal af. More backache and tenderness than cramps. Emotionally I've been more weepy and Thursday I cried most of the day but yesterday I felt a bit brighter and I feel normal today. I'm sorry if writing all of this is tmi ladies. I just feel like there isn't enough information out there about mc and everything that you go through. Before I had mine I thought a mc was being pregnant, unexpectedly cramping and bleeding, losing the baby and that was it. I never thought that it could last as long as mine has - physically I mean. I never thought I could still have veiny boobs a month after my mc. I never realised my period would just return on time like my pregnancy never happened. I never realised that infection could happen or that the antibiotics would be so awful. I have had something physical to deal with every week since it happened and af feels like a slap in the face. Even though it is welcome. Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am. I don't feel it though. I will never be the same again and as much as I want to get pregnant again it will never be the same. I'm hoping that this is finally the point at which I can move on and I do feel a bit more positive about ttc today. Good luck everyone

Morning everyone- hugs to all who are having a tough time.

Yesterday and today are the only days I've had no spotting. It's been almost 4 weeks since I started bleeding with my mc. I'm not expecting af anytime soon. Emotionally I feel fine at the minute but physically I feel like I've been trampled by a herd of horses.
My back is so painful I can't even bend forward and I've had a migraine since Wednesday!
My employers are being brilliant, on Thursday my manager called me and said she had covered all of my shifts for the rest of this week because she knows how exhausting emotionally and physically mc is from personal accounts and on Monday she has put me to help out with the laundry away from everyone so I'm happy with that.

I'm driving myself crazy searching the net to see if how I feel is normal, there is no information what so ever out there about mc and what to expect.

I've been having cramping randomly like ovulation pains, dull back ache across my hips which I can only describe as labour pains, I had the same pain when I lost my twins at 21+5 during labour. I feel weak like my muscles won't work too. Also been having a lot of thick cm (sorry tmi) which looks like jelly. I finished my antibiotics on Monday and thought I'd start to feel a bit better after they were done.
I keep looking at my daughters thinking how big they're getting and that I'm lucky to have them but I'm so desperate to give them another sibling and to hold a baby that I made again! It's not a want it's more like an anxious need, like an itch you can't scratch. This has been going on since I had my youngest and tried to compensate for my brood by adopting cats! Hasn't worked obviously.
Dreading af arriving but it really needs to hurry up as for me that will mark the end of the limbo I feel and the start of a possible new beginning. I new baby will never replace the LO that we lost.

Sorry for the ramble, I needed to get that off my chest or I would have screamed it out at my DH and probably scared the life out of him

Welcome Albus, Sarah and Starry.

for everyone going through a hard time. I realise now how lucky I was that the physical side of my mc was so straightforward and quick. Emotionally I was relieved when the first AF arrived, but then felt very low for a while. Ten days ago I could never have imagined that I'd feel so much better in such a short time. But I do, and I can't really explain it.

I've been reading the 'It Starts With The Egg' book too, Sarah. I'm only transporting food to work in glass jars and metal flasks now

I'm generally following the advice, and also Emma Cannon's (hence the womb warming...), but I did have a Byron cheeseburger and shake on the way home last night on the basis that I did so before implantation last time - I'm hoping it works!

Womb warming still makes me smile, thanks Bonxie, much needed today!

I didn't realise how long it can take either. And I hate the lack of information. Reading other people's experiences on MN is the only way I've found anything out. Other information even from the NHS and Miscarriage Association is vague. I know everybody's experience is different and they don't want to scare people but some realistic information would be helpful. Otherwise it's hard to know what is normal and what to expect. The other day I flippantly said to DP there should be a 'What to expect when you're miscarrying' book like the 'What to expect when you're expecting book' but obviously nobody would buy it because you don't want the sales assistant in a book shop seeing you buy it.

Annoyingly my bathroom containing the only toilet is going to be out of action for a few hours this afternoon as we're having a new shower fitted and re-tiling done as the former owners did a bad job and whole lot collapsed just before Christmas. Originally got the builder to come after new year but had to cancel because of mc and this is the first time he could come back . He only has finishing up to do though (did most of it yesterday) so hopefully it won't take too long

Happy to oblige IC

I made the same suggestion to my dh! He said I should write a blog. I might just do that. I'm focusing on trying to make myself be positive today. Thinking about ttc and trying to convince myself that there is nothing wrong with being hopeful.

Do it Loki!

Hi everyone, I've started spitting so AF must be on its way. Feel rubbish about this despite the fact I knew I had missed the window while I was ill. Why couldn't I just accept that and still have to be a bit hopeful? It's just so disappointing.

On the plus side, I've been eating much better, drinking loads of water and been back at the gym so clinging to healthy being better for ttc.

For those having first AFs after miscarriage, I'm almost a year on and it is still different to pre-pregnancy but that's apparently normal. Mine are not shorter and heavier than before I get really teary about a week beforehand for a day or two. Not trying to scare monger but just manage expectations - like you said, nobody tells you what to expect.

now heavier and shorter - sorry on my phone!

I don't think mine could get much shorter, they were only about 36-48 hours of bleeding pre-pregnancy! I was on herbs then though and I think the herbs were messing with it. I had heavy bleeding this morning but it already seems to be calming down and I've only had mild cramps so it's manageable. Not flooding and not had to change a product before the recommended time so manageable is an understatement really. Reminds me of what my periods used to be like as a teen (healthy!)