Pom Poms, Placards and Picket Lines. The Berries are putting up the barricades and will not be crossed! A delightful bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1.

[happylass]

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.



Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 3 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Awaiting next and final cycle with own eggs hopefully Feb/March time. HATE THIS SHIT!!



Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 2 short protocol IVF both BFN, very low amh/poor responder etc. 3rd IVF in January.



Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.



barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Private tests showed high nk cells activity and th1/th2 as well as mthrfr gene. Started downregging for long protocol ivf in Oct 15 plus two intralipid drips, and got pg. Third mc @ 6.4 weeks despite heparin, intralipids, metafolin and prednisolone. Last Ivf attempt starting February 2016 then on to adoption. 



Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try Jan 16. 



Lucieloos, 36, Low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech Republic, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3 & 4, Embryo Banking. 3 blasts in freezer. Icsi#5 in Czech in Jan. NHS cycle in Feb / March.




Sesame, 40, ttc 2 years with no dp, multiple failed IVFs, 4 ETs, 1 bfp followed by mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo. 



Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Currently experimenting with different cycles in an attempt to thicken lining.

Clem, 39, ttc since 2013. diagnosed with anovulation by nhs so on a course of clomid. no male factor issues. all other test results have come back okay inc. ovarian test reserves. currently being referred back to nhs for single funded cycle.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. Starting IVF in January.



Antonia79 36, ttc #1 since 2009, adhesions made for sticky insides & one tube removed, confirmed NHS IVF route Sept 15, TTC naturally again as recommended by doctor until IVF cycle starts (early - mid 2016) if not conceived by then.



Grin - 35, TTC 3 years, NFI why I can't get pregnant,, 3 X failed clomid attemots, 2 X ICSI failed fertilisations, 1 x IVF BFN. Doing another cycle in Mar 2016 and thinking of embryo donation.



The Roll of honour:

Pip - Quite simply the Best In Show.
Lumen - The Legend that is....

beaky The adenomyosis feels a bit of a mystery and pointless diagnosis then, it can’t be treated, but isn’t meant to affect ttc, although does give a reason for nasty af pain… I’m really sorry about the nasty cold. Hope you feel better soon! Well done for the follies so far. My right is also my favourite ovary, it's the one that gives... Will be swinging my pompoms for some more good growth before Saturday’s scan. I hope you don’t menkul too much before then. [anti menkul emoji]

barking thanks! I’m liking the spreadsheet idea, you’ve inspired me to created my own nice neat one, based on the information I have so far . Any news on your bloods results? Sorry af is still awol, and you have to deal with all this crappy waiting.

smidge hooray for packing boxes. Sorry you have to sell your dress, but that shouldn’t take away from all the happy memories it brought you

Changing fc is panicking me a little right now. There’s still so much research and stuff to organise, and I’m having to do lots of extra chasing as the new fc is not good at getting back to me about stuff. I feel like I have a million balls in the air at the moment. This could be a full time job - whilst I’m still trying to hold down the real life one.

sesame I've pm'd you a link to my spreadsheet!
Blood results back today, no aneamia and hcg >1 (effectively as negative as you get as they never say 0). No AF though despite woo needles again last night

Smidge Oo, that was bad timing for your DH! Pity he didn't ask just before Xmas! I remember getting pissed off when a colleague told the head she was pg when I was also pg (1st time) but not ready to tell her - small school and she would have been gutted if I (as senco at the time) told her I'd be off on maternity just after the assistant head!! Turns out of course she had nothing to worry about with me .

Thanks barking! So sorry af’s being a bitch.

Well I’ve just about finished my meds research. For anyone who might find it useful, I found the basic NHS comparator net prices are listed here. Trying to get as close as possible to these prices is a way of looking for value. spare’s right, Asda are still supplying their drugs at cost price and their quote once I finally managed to get through to a permanent pharmacist was almost bang on the prices in the link. There are a couple of things I would have to buy in boxes rather than ‘ones’ but it still seems reasonable. I also called Sainsbury’s (a bit nearer my house), and their prices are pretty near, with everything available in ones. Both of them will split your prescription too, so you can order and pay for whatever you like, and order more later. I reckon, if I ever manage to get a bfp then the sensible thing would be to get the drugs to sustain a pg from here.

However, there is a big exception to these prices - the major brands of fertility drugs e.g. menopur, gonal f, cetrotide also appear to have deals with a small number of suppliers with a lot of buying power (and no doubt the NHS too) who can then supply below the listed price, if they choose to do so. These suppliers are generally linked to individual fc’s - which then leaves the price a little bit at the mercy of whichever clinic you happen to be with. Sometimes this acts in the patients favour (e.g. I’ve previously purchased some of these significantly below the list price), sometimes not. Anyway, I’m waiting for one final quote from one of the bigger companies. After that I will make up my mind and then I can get the prescriptions organised.

Hello ladies, just dropping in.

nice to see you pip

Nipping in to swing a pompom for Sesame.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone. All still seems to be okay so far, though naturally I'm going quietly insane with anxiety. I know rationally that wrapping myself in cotton wool and sitting in a dark room for the next eight months is not going to make any difference to whether this bean sticks around or not, but the crazy the temptation is still strong.

Hope everyone's doing okay. And good luck with the packing smidge! It must be a wrench to be selling your wedding dress but at least it'll be worn again on someone else's happy day. Mine's hanging in a cupboard probably being eaten by moths

Smidge exciting news about the packing boxes! Did Mr Smidge get the ok from his boss? There's always something to spoil these things. Any idea of when your fet dates will be?

Sesame wow it is like a full time job and well done on your research there! Agreed about adenomyosis - it seems to be an explanation for heavy painful periods and that's it.

Barking I am carrying on my come on af dance for you. Glad your blood results were ok at least.

Hello Pip! Nice to see you

I had an awful dream last night, that this round failed and I woke up crying I'm still really ill so worrying about what impact that will have as well. Will see what the fc says at tomorrow's scan anyway.

sesame nice research!

beaky hope you feel better soon . I felt ill for both iui and ivf, I think it's a lot of stress on your body.

I also had a bad dream last night. DH got really drunk and I lost it and said there was no point doing the ivf as his sperm would be shit and we ended up splitting up. We were also in a castle, and then in Spain, then I was walking out of somewhere at 2am in a dark street that started as the road I grew up on but was then in the mountains in a foreign country. And at some point I was putting dead bodies in sleeping bags and stacking them in a spare room . Most bizarre. Anyone care to interpret?!

Just checking in to send some weekend love to the ladybros
DH is away on a work trip, so I'm going to be loading up on crap telly and giving the dog cuddles she probably doesn't want. She'll tolerate them though, because she knows I let her sleep on the bed when we are home alone and that is her nirvana
Hope you all have good ones also

manatee glad you’re still ok, thanks for the pompom!

Lolz Sesame glad you managed to get some of what you wanted! I don't even have a list of what I should get but so far Gennett have accepted everything I've sent from my GP and what I was able to get from the FC. I hope to god I don't have to go to Prague. The only thing they recommended that I can't afford is a hysteroscopy. It's very inexpensive if I go there, but then there's flights and accommodation to factor in. I'm getting really sick of the whole thing though and I really can't afford private treatment so I don't know what we will do if this doesn't work. Anyway, are you feeling more positive about the new clinic?

Spare my pup has been sneaking up on the bed the last couple of nights! She's small so we don't know until the morning.

Barking what a bizarre dream! Much more difficult to interpret that mine, which was super transparent.

Morning Ladybros. Apologies for the silence. I'm back to barely having time to breathe now that I'm back in school. The return hasn't been too painful - thanks to those that asked. The kids were a bit mental for the first few days. They get like that after 2 weeks of doing what the hell they like at home whilst being pumped full of sugar!
Spare always fantastic to see you my lovely but absolutely gutted you find yourself back here
Sesame you seem to be taking a very pro active approach. Well done you. The prices of drugs are extortionate. It makes me when I think how much we paid. We were obligated to get them through our FC as we did a 2 cycle 'package'. I regret not doing more research at the time but we got married just before our first cycle so I was already up to my eyeballs planning that. Also well done on being so forceful with your GP. I am at how clueless they are with regards to TTC.
Barking I hope the white jeans/sofa/best pants roller skating combo has the desired effect for you soon.
Still nothing much to report here. I started stabbing on Thursday so very early days yet. I am still amazed by how easy the Gonal F pens are compared to the nightmare I had with the 5 vials of Menopur. I'm as to why my FC doesn't routinely use Gonal F. Is it much more expensive??
Hope our stabbers are doing ok. A big wave to everyone else. I'm planning on trying to get out for a long walk before the rain sets in. Another weather warning here today. The rain has been constant for about 3 months! - roll on summer as if that will be any bloody drier. Have a top weekend Berries!

Morning ladybros. I've not been on much - I've had no energy this week to even write a post but home now and a weekend of wedding stuff to get sorted!

Good luck for your scan today beaky and i hope you're feeling a bit better. Am pompomming away like mad for you. That sounds like a classic anxiety dream, Not very nice. Big hug. Although you feel poorly I'm sure it won't impact on what is going on inside.

Hey manatee, everything crossed that all continues to go well.

Sound like a nice chilled weekend spare, enjoy the cuddles with sparepup.

I have adenomyosis too sesame and was told it won't affect TTC. I can't help but think it does interfere with getting pregnant in some way though. I have very painful periods and I found that I could manage the symptoms with vitex - periods much less painful and heavy after a month of drops. I don't like to take it when I'm doing treatment though. Interesting appointment with your GP - don't know where you live but in Hampshire the age cut off for IVF is indeed 35, just purely to reduce demand and control cost. I'm also impressed with your level of drugs research - the NHS could learn a thing or two! Huge variation in charging for drugs across the NHS even when the NHS is funding them - could save the taxpayer a lot of money if it was more standardised.

barking any sign of af? Hope you've not had any more of those crazy dreams.

smidge hope the packing is going well! How long do you have left in Oz? Yes, I have bought my dress and am awaiting my first fitting at the end of the month. Sorting out my bridesmaids is the next challenge.

happy glad back to work has been ok. I found this week exhausting after 10 days off. I've only had menopur and I don't know what my new FC will use.

Howdy pip!

Protocol appointment on Tues. I have been advised I'll be doing mid luteal suboptimal protocol. It's basically northisterone for 11 days from CD14, burserelin from CD 21 until af confirmed at scan, then stimming. They also insist on antibiotics from day 8 of stimming, and fragmin during 2ww as well as oestrogen and progesterone and asprin. Af dates mean I'm unlikely to be stabbing until 10th Feb but at least it is FINALLY happening.

Anyway, must get out of bed, the list of jobs to do today is huuuuuge!!

beaky I'm still sorting out logistics of moving clinics right now, I've not really had much energy for optimism. How did your scan go? Is that you booked in for ec? All appendages are crossed for you right now. It's about bloody time for your turn.

happy I think there's no reason to suspect your fc was ripping you off for meds - both fc's I went to didn't make anything extra from drugs and it's much more convenient getting them as you go along. It's just that now I'm a bit more familiar with what these things cost I've spotted that new fc appears to make a small margin on what it dispenses. However I do think new fc is actually quite reasonable overall compared with some of its competitors.

I think the main reason for choosing either menopur or gonal f is clinical. Menopur contains fsh + lh, gonal is fsh only. Some fc think if you're doing antagonist you'll start off with plenty of natural lh, so don't need to add any in. Others think as the cetrotide blocks lh production, it would be beneficial to include. But a big review of lots of clinical trials comparing the 2 found no difference in outcome. Good luck with the stabbing happy when is first scan?

tiger thanks for the tip about vitex, I think right now I want my cycles to be as normal as possible, but may try in the future. Where I live they are trying to increase nhs ivf provision to meet the 3 cycle aspiration - in my local area couples can now get 2 free cycles. In fact the private fc in my town closed down because of this, as most private patients now go to the local nhs hospital (tho still have to wait 4-5 months...). How did you get on with all the jobs this weekend? Any news on the bridesmaid dresses? So glad your cycle is finally kicking off btw.

I've got to make my last decisions about treatment. I need to decide if I want to do a single or multi cycle package. A single cycle would be a good way to try out the new fc and see if I cope with the extra travel. A multi cycle is slightly cheaper, with one fet at the end. I would only have one 2ww to cope with and would get a scratch done the month before (there's no time for a scatch if I do a single cycle on my next period). But I'm worried about a 10% risk of losing embies vs my own perception of increased success if I put back fresh.

I also need to think about my follow up appt with the old fc - I'm still not sure if I just say sayonara or I should keep open some kind of option to return to them in future if I need to.

Sesame there's so much to think about, I don't envy you having to make all of these decisions at the moment. Fwiw I don't see why you have to say bye for good to the current clinic. You could say you want to take a brief break. With the multi cycle package is it two ec's then an fet or three? I'm thinking of that option too.

Happy glad getting back to work wasn't too bad for you! Good luck for your first scan.

Tiger how did you get on with your to do list? How are you feeling at the moment as you were a bit down before Christmas? I do like the sound of your protocol based on things I've read online, it sounds very full on too, I always remember wild saying she was constantly taking tablets and injections and didn't have time for anything else on her cycle!

Barking still doing the af dance for you over here.

EC tomorrow for me, keep your fingers crossed please berries! I am so sick of the fanjo rummaging. It could be worse, I know. Anyway will report back afterwards!

Berries, could we please allow Icy to join us. She has been trying for number 1 for two years now. However she is only 27.
Here is part of her post on another thread.
Two years. Month in, month out, and no change. I'm finding a huge part of this whole nightmare is trying to cope with the boredom. I bore myself incessantly googling variations of the same question, staying up late at night to the glow of an iPad, reading more and more obscure medical research abstracts. Asking my doctor friend if I can borrow her password so I can see whether the BMJ has any updates from last week. It's fucking monotonous. Nowhere else in my life have I had to strive so hard to get absolutely nowhere.

I think we can overlook the under 30 thing - she is a spiritual Berry.

beaky they have a special offer for 3 retrievals with one fet. That's what I'm considering. Tbh I'm a bit worried in 3 cycles I may only get 1 or 2 embies that might have just been better put back at the time. Also I'm planning to take some time off work for the new cycle - this might work out ok for the first couple of months, but colleagues will start talking their own leave from easter onwards so will have to do some nimble footwork to fit with the rest of my small team. On the other hand, three natural cycles might be a good place to draw the line and walk away from own egg, knowing I've done everything I can. It's a lot to think through on my own. But at least sharing with the berries is a good way to think out loud - my bestie is practically rolling her eyes these days, she's had to put up with 2.5 years of listening to this stuff...

Good luck for ec tomorrow beaky. That's come along so quick. I hope all goes smoothly, I'll be pompoming for you... Give us a B E A K Y! Come on follies... come on eggies! Will be thinking about you tomorrow and probably hitting refresh a zillion times on my phone to hear how you get on.

'mon icy!

Thanks Sesame! It definitely sounds like a good plan, I like the sound of having a deadline in the plans too - I need to build that in.

Pip I am certainly happy to make an exception for Icy on your request, reading what she wrote I totally sympathise and understand too.

sesame would you get the option to pop one back in rather than freeze if you wanted to at the time? Is there that element of flexibility?

beaky good luck for today!

tiger I'm still getting the craziest dreams. The other night was a dream within a dream - I was dreaming I was at work, then I realised I was dreaming (like something out of a dark doctor who, really frightening, I was being hunted down and attacked by aliens but at some point I became aware it was a dream abs was desperately trying to wake up but couldn't, then when I did I was still within the other dream, which was weird enough.
In fact the last four nights in a row you'd think I'd taken some bad acid or something, just bizzare and unsettling dreams every night.

Still no AF. Officially 8 weeks now. This should be my 2nd AF!!!

Pip is Icy hiding behind a curtain?

Hello hello. We got 2 eggs, so keeping everything crossed that Barry does his best and they both fertilise. IOTO right berries. Arghh! Anyway was quite ill again afterwards so have been sleeping it all off this afternoon.

Good work, Beaky!
C'mon Barry and Spice girls and co...
Hope you feel better soon. Was it a reaction to the sedation or just general pain from the collection?

Good work Beaky! Hope you can rest up and recover quickly.

beaky I’m cheering on your eggs, and putting on the spice girls and Barry for a night of luurve! IOTO!!! Hope you feel better soon.

barking no if I take the deal, they wouldn’t put back embies as I go along, it’s either 3 ec’s then a fet, or I’ve got to do single cycles with a fresh transfer. Sorry about the crazy dreams and the missing af. Are you seeing your woo needles lady?

At the gp’s this afternoon for my blood tests (5 vials – eek!), and the waiting room was busy with a steady stream of new mums and teeny babies, including one set of boy-girl twins... .

Made it! [waves]

Thanks for vouching for me Pip. Obviously heartbreaking, but discovering all of these little pockets of people going through the same nightmare and actually understanding makes such a difference. I've told friends IRL I don't need to talk to them now, because I've found online support. Not sure how they take that - probably relieved (ugh) - but I'm not engaging with them anymore.

Right, time to read this thread :-)