Pom Poms, Placards and Picket Lines. The Berries are putting up the barricades and will not be crossed! A delightful bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1.

[happylass]

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.



Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 3 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Awaiting next and final cycle with own eggs hopefully Feb/March time. HATE THIS SHIT!!



Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 2 short protocol IVF both BFN, very low amh/poor responder etc. 3rd IVF in January.



Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.



barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Private tests showed high nk cells activity and th1/th2 as well as mthrfr gene. Started downregging for long protocol ivf in Oct 15 plus two intralipid drips, and got pg. Third mc @ 6.4 weeks despite heparin, intralipids, metafolin and prednisolone. Last Ivf attempt starting February 2016 then on to adoption. 



Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try Jan 16. 



Lucieloos, 36, Low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech Republic, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3 & 4, Embryo Banking. 3 blasts in freezer. Icsi#5 in Czech in Jan. NHS cycle in Feb / March.




Sesame, 40, ttc 2 years with no dp, multiple failed IVFs, 4 ETs, 1 bfp followed by mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo. 



Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Currently experimenting with different cycles in an attempt to thicken lining.

Clem, 39, ttc since 2013. diagnosed with anovulation by nhs so on a course of clomid. no male factor issues. all other test results have come back okay inc. ovarian test reserves. currently being referred back to nhs for single funded cycle.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. Starting IVF in January.



Antonia79 36, ttc #1 since 2009, adhesions made for sticky insides & one tube removed, confirmed NHS IVF route Sept 15, TTC naturally again as recommended by doctor until IVF cycle starts (early - mid 2016) if not conceived by then.



Grin - 35, TTC 3 years, NFI why I can't get pregnant,, 3 X failed clomid attemots, 2 X ICSI failed fertilisations, 1 x IVF BFN. Doing another cycle in Mar 2016 and thinking of embryo donation.



The Roll of honour:

Pip - Quite simply the Best In Show.
Lumen - The Legend that is....

Woohoo!

Hehe, nice work beaky. Let's get this thread filled! Thank you for your positive thoughts!

Crgh are very expensive - a private round is £10k at least.

I know, I priced them up and they didnt seem too bad from the price list, but then the additionals that's weren't on the list really bumped them up. But they seem to do so well.

How can crgh get such good stats? Do you think they have a skewed set of customers, or do you think they really are that much better? I remember someone on here using them and them taking bloods every day etc, but my clinic in Aus seemed to do almost everything crgh did (though bloods were every other day to be fair). They were happy to do egg collections at the weekend etc. But it still didn't work for us. Bit scared I might start thinking it's worth another go but equally I realise with our history that there's every chance I'd just be in the 30% bracket.

Anyway - I had my job interview - it went OK but they didn't really ask any particularly hard questions. In fact I don't think they asked me anything at all, except to talk through my CV. Then they spoke about the finance team restructure and that being the main challenge for the next 6-12months. Came away realising I didn't know much about the day to day stuff, and that they couldn't possibly know any more about me than they could have read in the CV!

However, apparently they liked me and want me to come back for a second interview . Got to do an online verbal and numerical reasoning test first (which I'm fine with) and then the 2nd interview will involve doing a presentation. Aarrghh . Not happy about that one!!

Today I was supposed to be going into London for a temp role interview, but after doing lots of research as requested, and having had a chat with the agent again this morning about the format of the interview, he just called back to say the client wants to postpone/cancel as they've found a permanent person they want to see first. Just glad I hadn't got on the train yet!

Bit annoyed as was trying to get fit again and go for a run but have already made myself look nice and done my hair etc! Think I will go into London later anyway to meet MrSmidge and have a drink with him after (his) work. Might be able to find another friend who'll leave work early to do the same . Hey ho for the health kick

Ah well, got an excuse to catch up on some of the location location location series' that I missed while in Aus . Love house porn!

Good luck with interview no. 2 smidge, I'm sure you'll be great! I need to start the health kick too. Wine has been my friend rather too much lately. Did a metafit class yesterday, thought I was going to be sick half way through! Healthy eating starts again tomorrow, and booze free until FET.

CRGH don't self select as far as I am aware and those stats also include NHS patients who are treated across UCL and CRGH like me! They have a fairly intensive protocol (my SIL is going private there and the level of treatment was very similar to my NHS funded stuff). Bloods were every other day on fresh cycle too.

I am having a fully medicated FET, and as AF arrived yesterday, I will be downregging in two weeks time - northisterone first, then burserelin - nearly there! Then stabbing during the 2ww too- lubion and Fragmin. Was hoping for less injections, but hey, would stab all day long if it gets me pregnant!

Good luck for the second interview Smidge and the presentation. And the testing.. Cripes, lots of hoops! CRGH do a slightly different protocol than anywhere else I've come across (as Tiger outlines above) and it's supposed to be good for poor responders. One of the previous berries who did 3 rounds of banking then an fet gave us all her drugs details etc and there was tons, literally more than anyone else I've known. Including various steroids and I'm sure there was some growth hormone in there too. Which I think is a steroid anyway?! They take anyone too so it's not that. But they are soooo expensive.

Tiger your last comment made me laugh, I'd stab all day long too if it got me pg! Wine has also been my friend lately, I have started cutting back though and have joined a new class too which is so hard, I'll be pure muscle soon Boo to af turning up though, but hooray to getting underway shortly.

Also Smidge I love the house porn too, location is my fave!

Sorry I've not been about much recently ladies.

What have I missed?

I've been meaning to write something for a few days. My father has just had a pacemaker fitted after having several bouts of dizziness and feeling 'not right'. My mother has been very anxious and emotionally drained about the whole thing, having to convince him to go to the GP, then send him back again when they didn't do anything, and then take him to A&E last weekend. Anyway, panic is over I suppose as they could see clearly on an ECG what the issue was and have fitted a dual pacemaker (wires into two chambers to send electrical impulses across, as it wasn't happening properly naturally - his heart rate was down to 34...). He's home now. Thank god I am back in England as I'd have hated to be in Aus. Unfortunately he still seems to be having the odd dizzy spell and my mum's quite concerned about how breathless he is (I agree, this morning he seemed far more breathless than on Friday, which was his first day home after the op). But he's got a cough now, so maybe it's to do with that.... (We go round in circles of course. No different from IVF!!!!)

Anyway, just as we were leaving their house this morning, MrSmidge's older sister called him from Aus. I heard him say 'Wow', seem a bit stunned, and then ask her how old she was (he should know of course). I thought she was announcing getting married, as she's had a boyfriend (that no one has yet met) for a year. But no. Guess what. She's pregnant. At 44. Naturally. Unexpectedly. Now 16weeks gone.

I couldn't stop the tears. I had to leave. We got in the car but my parents came out as my mum knew I was obviously struggling. It was awful. Oh berries I felt awful. Obviously I'm happy for her but oh how it hurts. 44! And me with all these attempts and nothing. My mum was so upset for me, she had to gulp back the tears too and I felt so bad. She's got enough to worry about with my father she doesn't need to be upset for me too. I feel dreadful. I went around to try to alleviate some of the emotional worry etc and all I've done is give her something else to worry about.

I said I'd be fine in 10 mins but just wanted to go. Seems I underestimated the 10 mins as I'm still sobbing 5 hours later. Gah!!! This is pathetic. I thought I had shut the door on this, it shouldn't affect me. I've not been upset with other pregnancy announcements, But this - 44??!! She's not even married completely irrelevant

I'm just angry and upset and want to yell that it's just not fair. How pathetic. Life isn't fair and I know that. And how lovely for her that at 44 when not having even had much in the way of boyfriends she's going to have a future she probably hasn't thought possible for the past 10 years. She's lovely and I am happy for her but this hurts so much.

Anyway. I needed to get this off my chest with people who understand. Wish his bloody mother had given him
The heads up as to why his sister wanted to call. She knew we'd been trying IVF and that it hadn't been successful. You'd think she could have warned him to at least be at home for the call.

Grrr. Angry fed up and sorry for myself. Who's still left under the duvet of despair? Make room for me please. And tell me how to stop my mum from adding me to her worries???

Sorry for the me me me post yesterday. I feel a bit more normal today, so it must have been the shock. Amazing how we I revert to the childish 'It's not fair' in such situations.

Tiger how's the healthy eating fitness campaign going? Have you managed to stick with it? I've restarted using my couch to 5k app (actually I have couch to 10k but am unlikely to get that far!). But not sure how long my determination will continue.

Hi Pip. What's new with you?

Anyone planned any holidays lately, or weekends away?

That all sounds really tough smidge. Hope your dad is doing ok and glad that you are near your folks now.

I think your response to finding out that SIL was pregnant was completely understandable. Actually, it is beyond unfair that you can want something so much and someone else can get that very thing by accident. Of course, that's not how the world works and we know that, but there is something about these announcements that are like a sharp slap when it wasn't expected. Shock and raw emotion is totally understandable. Big hugs and I am glad you're feeling better today. I think that a crying session and hiding under the duvet of despair was probably what you needed to get past it. Has it stirred up any feelings about further treatment?

I have been shit on the health kick to be honest. Am back at yoga and have done a couple of other classes but not managed to restart running yet, and I am probably drinking too much - not loads or getting drunk but just not giving it up like I have done. Start downregging tomorrow so that's the official cut off point.

I am just a bit 'meh' at the moment. Am assuming this FET won't work, and have booked in an open day for the local CARE clinic and also researching other options ready to get going again. I have been feeling a bit down really, and I think I need to keep busy to keep it away. I haven't been doing that much since my eye op and have found that hard. It's still bloody red so I can't wear make up.

We have made a last minute decision to go to a festival next weekend, so looking forward to that. Plan is to do yoga workshops, have a massage and see loads of bands rather than getting wasted and dancing all night! Have also booked a short break in Devon for Mr T's birthday, so not completely devoid of fun stuff. A bit conscious that we should save money for another cycle though.

Do you have any holidays planned? I reckon a lovely winter trip to Bruges for chocolate and waffles would be nice. We were in Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago and I had forgotten how lovely it was. I don't have any more leave left now though so will have to plan for next year instead. I will probably have to miss a wild party in Barcelona as I'll be in the FET 2ww and I am pretty gutted about that. If it's a BFN at that stage I might just book a last minute flight and go.

Hi pip, how are you? As you can see, much the same here.

How are you beaky? Any further forward with plans for another cycle?

I know we've said it before but let's get this thread finished!

So sorry smidge. That’s all completely understandable. I think it hurts the most when it’s somebody close. Tbh I’m all ffs these days at anyone over 40 who gets naturally or even ivf diffed, but if it was my SIL and it was a year ago I'd be weeping. Hope your dad is okay.

tiger glad you are finally about to do your FET! Fingers crossed you won’t need to bother with Care.

Hello! Quick update: Back from holidays. Back to work tomorrow but glad it's a four day week. I peaked during the holiday so had to do stealth sex while the in laws and SIL were in the same house... It made it more fun as had to keep quiet and not make any noise

2ww underway, AF due mid next week.

Good luck Tiger for this round of FET!

Smidge Big hugs for you from me. Life can be utter shit sometimes. Hoping you'll be feeling a bit more like yourself soon. You're allowed to wallow in a mud bath of dispair and unfairness now and then, just try not to stay in for too long

Hello Pip and Sesame, hope you're both doing okay!

AF due mid next week. Besides having ridiculously tender nipples, nothing much is happening... apart from the very weird and vivid dreams I've been having for the last four days in a row.

This morning's dream, I found a tiny ginger and white kitten that fitted perfectly in the palm of my hand and all I had was the end of a baker's loaf of bread. So I hollowed it out a bit and gently placed the kitten inside. It nestled itself comfortably and went straight to sleep.

Yesterday I was in a field of sunflowers and one of them was giant and the head (as large as an open golf umbrella) hung over above me. I looked up and thought 'Those seeds will be ready soon.'

Friday's dream I was in a strange woman's house and she had just split up with her husband. She was walking up and down the kitchen saying 'This is my house. I built this house with my bear hands and if he thinks he can take it away from me he has another thing coming.' I remember thinking that the man is going to lose badly to this woman.

Thursday's dream saw my second youngest brother in front me crying his heart out and pointing at a hole in the wall. As I went up to the wall to look through the hole, I immediately woke up with a start and was all disorientated. Called my brother to see if he was actually alright later in the day and he laughed at me and said he was fine.

I think I've finally lost the plot.

Hope you're all doing well, it's so bloody quiet in here!

Ha ha Ant I keep thinking about someone saying I built this house with my bear hands now! I've got some sort of hybrid goldilocks and the 3 bears character in my head

Vivid dreams were the thing that made me sure I was pregnant after my first cycle.

Maybe this is it ant! fingers crossed.

smidge, how are you?

beaky, any news?

Stabbing commenced yesterday, inching ever closer to transfer. Festival was brilliant, and we have four nights in Devon next week to look forward to, so all good in the tiger house at the moment.

Bugger, I meant 'bare' and now I'm laughing at a woman with bear hands!

Had another weird dream this morning where I rescued a black and white sheep from a pool and MIL telling FIL off for sounding 'too brummy' when talking to the two old ladies (who they've rented the gite from) about how he likes his breakfast... They're not even from anywhere near Birmingham!

Tiger Crossing all fingers and toes for this round for you. Hope you have a wonderful time have a wonderful time in Devon!

Well, I'm on cd32 and it's 13dpo. I've just done a test as I couldn't wait until the weekend and it was a bfn. I used the CB Advance Fertility Monitor to test.

I have no AF symptoms so I'm just sat here feeling a bit puzzled. I do have a CB digi test and now wondering if I should test again first thing tomorrow morning or leave it until Sunday?

Nevermind. AF arrived out of nowhere with a vengeance. I am tired of this shit.

Oh Ant I'm sorry. It's a total mind fuck. Every month.

Ah bugger it ant.

I have just noted that this thread started in 2015! Can we just fill it up asap?

How is everyone? I have been vile this weekend. Full of the rage for no reason, bloody drugs!