Pom Poms, Placards and Picket Lines. The Berries are putting up the barricades and will not be crossed! A delightful bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1.

[happylass]

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.



Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 3 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Awaiting next and final cycle with own eggs hopefully Feb/March time. HATE THIS SHIT!!



Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 2 short protocol IVF both BFN, very low amh/poor responder etc. 3rd IVF in January.



Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.



barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Private tests showed high nk cells activity and th1/th2 as well as mthrfr gene. Started downregging for long protocol ivf in Oct 15 plus two intralipid drips, and got pg. Third mc @ 6.4 weeks despite heparin, intralipids, metafolin and prednisolone. Last Ivf attempt starting February 2016 then on to adoption. 



Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try Jan 16. 



Lucieloos, 36, Low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech Republic, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3 & 4, Embryo Banking. 3 blasts in freezer. Icsi#5 in Czech in Jan. NHS cycle in Feb / March.




Sesame, 40, ttc 2 years with no dp, multiple failed IVFs, 4 ETs, 1 bfp followed by mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo. 



Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Currently experimenting with different cycles in an attempt to thicken lining.

Clem, 39, ttc since 2013. diagnosed with anovulation by nhs so on a course of clomid. no male factor issues. all other test results have come back okay inc. ovarian test reserves. currently being referred back to nhs for single funded cycle.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. Starting IVF in January.



Antonia79 36, ttc #1 since 2009, adhesions made for sticky insides & one tube removed, confirmed NHS IVF route Sept 15, TTC naturally again as recommended by doctor until IVF cycle starts (early - mid 2016) if not conceived by then.



Grin - 35, TTC 3 years, NFI why I can't get pregnant,, 3 X failed clomid attemots, 2 X ICSI failed fertilisations, 1 x IVF BFN. Doing another cycle in Mar 2016 and thinking of embryo donation.



The Roll of honour:

Pip - Quite simply the Best In Show.
Lumen - The Legend that is....

Hello RP! Lovely to see you, hope life is going well Barking, Happy and Nolly who you'll know all are currently diffed finally! Woop.

Tiger hope you're having a fab hol, fx for a honeymoon diff! Biopsy knacked but at least it's done now. I'll keep an eye for the result and thanks for the tips. Hope everyone else is ok.

Hello! I'm in the 2ww (again) but now with space themed pink, black and grey sport leggings for Yoga. TKMaxx selling them for £15 and they had it in my size. Very comfy and stretchy! Hooray!

Hope everyone is doing well? Looking at revisiting IVF again September if not diff'd by then.

Yeah ant! Nice work on the leggings front. Loud and proud! Good luck for this 2ww.

My FET will be in Sept - we now have a plan. Scratch early August, then medicated FET that cycle with the transfer likely to be second week in Sept.

Honeymoon is lovely beaky. Such a chilled out and relaxing time. We're on our final island before heading back to the main land and then home. Hope you get your results soon and everything else is good with you?

Oh wow-wow!!!!! I thought so but wasn't 100% sure after skim-read. Do we know how far along they are? It is such good news :)

Yes life fine thank you!

hallo everyone
Sorry for long awolness. Was hermiting, because I was in such a state about my FET (May). Anyway as you have heard I am now 9wks and saw the heartbeat last week on DH's birthday. Pretty amazing. And a relief (worst birthday ever otherwise).

I have been a very dilatory Berry, not just because of bad head state, but also because thoroughly depressed about the state of the world. Must try harder.

Love the leggings tiger! I need to sort out some local yoga stat. Going bananas, and really run out of excuses now the summer's started and I don't have to be in work every day.

so pleased your job is going well beaky. star

Hallo to all you other berries!

Fx for you Ant you never know! The leggings sound amazing too. How's your yoga going?

tiger are you back yet? I hope you're having amazing weather and really enjoying your time! Great to hear your plan is sorted, are you going back to Coventry for the scratch? What drugs will you have for the fet?

Nolly hooray! Heartbeat is great news, very happy for you sorry for sharing your news though how are you feeling generally?

RP I think barking is about 19w and Happy 14w if I can remember correctly.

I'm waiting for my biopsy results then hoping to do some more treatment in the autumn. Not too sure on the details yet though. I feel like I'm ready to go again now though.

What do people feel about moving the thread into infertility after this one? It's very quiet over here these days.

I'm back from my holiday! It was lovely. We pootled from island to island, ate lovely food, swam loads and generally chilled out and enjoyed being together. Also drank a fair amount of lovely wine and cocktails - no going crazy, just one or two drinks most nights! Back to reality now. Eye op in a week, scratch 3 weeks later then FET earlyish Sept.

Glad to hear all is going well nolly. Heartbeat must have been amazing. No yoga until second trimester at least though!

Hope your results come through soon beaky. I'm not going back to Cov for the scratch as my clinic offer if you have had two or more failed transfers, so probably just easier to have it there. I am still in two minds about natural v medicated.

Any joy ant? I'm also in the 2ww post honeymoon but I'm not expecting a miracle despite putting in a sterling effort!

Really is quiet in here. Infertility might be a better spot for the next thread.

Glad you had a super holiday Tiger. As for the 2ww, who knows, maybe you were relaxed enough .

We just spent 3 days in the Peak District, which was lovely. Stayed with a friend of mine and her OH cooked every night, it was fab. We got home last night and had a bit of a wail together wanting him to cook for us again as there was nothing in the fridge and neither of us wanted to have to think about dinner let alone have the responsibility to make it

My friend has a little boy but has been struggling for the past 3 years to conceive again. She still hopes it'll happen but I think I'm a bit jaded and don't really think there's much chance. She's had several miscarriages, one at 13wks and two goes of IVF. She still gets upset about it daily though. It made me feel as if I don't deserve a miracle conception anymore as I'm managing to ignore the whole thing a lot better.

Maybe I'm just a bury my head in the sand sort of person though!

Mr Smidge is on his final interview in London today. I think he's going to be offered the job. I really hope he can cope with the commute. I feel so responsible for him after bringing him over here! Meanwhile I'm getting no where with my job search.

IKEA delivery today though. Building wardrobes so I have room for suits etc should keep me busy and bring me one step closer!

Infertility seems a good place for the next thread to me.

Glad you had an amazing time Tiger, lots of relaxation before a busy time ahead! I'll keep my fx for a honeymoon diff!

Ant any news from you?

Smidge the Peak District sounds lovely, how did Mr Smidge get on with his interview? Commuting is a bitch but you get used to it. I hope your house is lovely and ikea furnished now! I really need some new drawers but am skint.

Looking into doing another cycle sometime from September, not quite sure where yet. Waiting for biopsy results first though and then the final decision will be made.

Did Mr Smidge get the job? Fingers crossed! You don't have to be wailing and weeping to deserve a baby smidge, better to be feeling more balanced about it all. Probably harder for your friend to come to terms with the fact that it may not happen, as she already has one kid, so it doesn't seem as impossible as it does for me right now. I'm also a bit head in the sand at the moment. Just a different way of coping.

I braved IKEA yesterday night to get a new chest of drawers. It's not too bad at 9pm - quiet and quick to get around! I love building flat pack furniture

No honeymoon diff for me beaky. BFN today and yesterday on a FRER despite AF being three days late and having sore boobs. Body is just being a mo-fo. Why is it when you want AF to arrive, it doesn't. I really didn't want to be on during my op. Fuck it all.

Am feeling a bit gloomy. All my things to look forward to have happened - wedding, new job, honeymoon. Now it's just a painful operation and more bloody fertility treatment on the horizon, which I can't see working somehow.

AF rocked up four days early so I am an absolute joy to be around at the moment 25 day cycle is completely unheard of for me. I'm a 29 -31 day cycle type of woman.

Ah well. One more month of trying naturally before its back to the clinic for round 2.

Currently gorging on chocolate hobnobs, drowning in coffee and having a bit of a paddle in the Self Pity Pool. Give myself the day to be wretched until Mr Ant comes home from work tonight.

Hope you all have lovely plans for the weekend and that the weather is actually bloody nice for a change for us all!

Oh gutted for you both Tiger and Ant how effing shit. Let's hope all of our luck changes soon. Yeah I know, sorry.

When's your op Tiger, hoping it goes smoothly and quickly. How much recovery will you need?

How rubbish.

MrSmidge got the job, which I think is good news (still worrying about the commute!). There doesn't seem to be much else suitable out there so I think it probably is a good thing he's got this one actually. He starts in a week so we've leapt on the berry inspiration bandwagon and booked 6 nights in Croatia for a last trip before the work drudgery sets in! I'm not really very organised for it though (mentally let alone in terms of packing) as it wasn't planned and I feel I should be looking for work too. (Tbf I can access the Internet abroad so maybe it's no different).

tiger you might be right about why it's so hard for my friend to accept it. I hadn't thought about that. V insightful!

Ant I like paddling in the self pity pool. We might need a bigger one

Hello berries! Anyone around?

Congrats to Mr Smidge! Did you enjoy your last min holiday Smidge? How's things going on your job hunt?

Ant how are you getting on this cycle?

Tiger what are your timescales looking like for the fet?

I have high NK cells, will be going back for a further biopsy to check on them but most likely will need to take steroids with another IVF cycle. At least that's something to try! It would be amazing if that worked but I am aware that there are still lots of ifs involved in that. But it's a new start!

Loved the holiday, Beaky. Croatia is beautiful. We went to Hvar, Brac and Split. Weather was amazing (though I understand it was pretty darned good here too, typical!)

I've got another agency meeting on Thursday. They're advertising a job that might suit me. There's not much else out there at the moment.

MrSmidge has enjoyed his first 2 days at work so that's a relief.

Glad you have a result on the NK cells Beaky. It's good to have a diagnosis - particularly when there's a new treatment you can try. I did the steroids for one of my cycles. Didn't help us though, hurumph. . Fingers crossed it does for you

Who's still doing the 2ww? Tiger Ant?

I'm beginning to forget who else is still around. So many berries got upduffed in the last few months!

Hi Smidge! Glad the Mr is enjoying his role so far and how did it go yesterday?

I've just started 2ww again so we'll see how we go.

I'll know just before I go on holiday so if it's a no, I can try forgetting about the whole thing for two weeks. I'm off to Germany, never been before and quite excited about it! Staying out in the sticks in the east with Berlin about 35 miles away.

Hope everyone else is ok?

My 2ww turned into a 3+ww smidge but for no apparent reason. Screwed my FET dates too and had to rearrange my scratch.

Glad you had a lovely holiday. Croatia is gorgeous isn't it. Fingers crossed on the job front. I am trying to stop myself going holiday mad....we're off to Amsterdam next weekend, considering a festival and another holiday in September and hopefully a camping trip at some point too. I suspect we'll have to reign ourselves in a bit as really should be saving any spare cash for IVF and sorting out the house, but I just want to escape.

beaky any more thoughts about the treatment plans?

ant fingers crossed for the 2ww. Either way, hope you have a fab holiday!

Not much to report here. Scratch and planning appointment in 10 days or so and then will be on the countdown to getting my frosties put back. As it is a medicated cycle, it will be more like late Sept for the actual transfer.

I think us few are the only ones still posting...

How did the job stuff go Smidge? Glad to hear MrS is enjoying his new job, and Croatia sounds lovely. I'm jealous of people's hols this year as we aren't having one. I think having something to try and treat is helpful but at the same time, everything changes each cycle so there are definitely no guarantees. How the eff are we supposed to know when the best one to try is. Anyway, you can probably tell I'm a bit down about it all lately.

Ant Berlin is amazing, it's one of my fave cities! So much to do and lots of interest, and some of it very beautiful too. Enjoy! Good luck on this 2ww.

Tiger that is a lot of holidays! Again, very jealous! Glad you have got your dates sorted even though you had a big delay there. It's always so unpredictable when you need it to be predictable. I feel like we've been waiting forever, I wish we could get in the chopper. I am going to a local private clinic (we only have one) for an open day but it's not my first choice to use. Will see what they say though, if they can offer a good treatment plan I may just use them, although they are rather expensive.

My neighbours baby is due anytime now and every night I go home I worry it'll be there. I know that sounds ridiculous. I think I need to go to counselling again as I've been on a bit of a downward slope about this stuff but the old clinic haven't rang me back when I've tried to make appointments, they are very inflexible as well and I think I'd struggle to get there from my current job. I'm sick of not being able to do anything or plan anything too, I know it's just tough but it's hard. Anyway, enough moaning. That'll def kill the already very quiet thread off!

Sorry you're feeling down beaky. It is hard to be any different when there is no end in sight. Life is on permanent hold and that is just bloody rubbish. Sorry about the neighbour baby bomb too, I hope you don't have to see them too much.

Not having a holiday is tough, can you still do nice things to treat yourselves though? We have realised that we probably can't go away in September, because of the FET dates and the uncertainty but we are going to have a couple of weekends away this month instead, and see how we get on. If the FET doesn't work out, then I think we will go away over Christmas instead. Is it ridiculous that I am already dreading Christmas?!

I hope that the clinic can offer you a good plan. I guess it is worth exploring what they can offer even if you might not use them. Would you still consider going abroad for a cycle? I am also wondering where I would go for a private cycle locally. There is some but not loads of choice, and my very local private one I am not at all keen on.

I am feeling much the same really, a bit down . I kept thinking that because I wasn't crying all the the time I was fine, but actually I am not fine. Feels like I am gradually disappearing and becoming less of a person somehow. This all just bloody sucks. I am so terrified of my FET not working but have no real hope that it will .

Sorry, didn't really lift the mood there. Hope others are ok?

Yes Tiger the disappearing/less of a person I thing I totally get too, it's like there's a some parts of my personality disappearing off, I don't really know how else to describe it. Ive stopped doing much with friends and family these last few months, I don't feel like I want to do anything but I know I should push myself to. I'm just not "around" as much if you know what I mean, and I don't want to be either. I just go to work, come home and then go to bed. Oh I feel quite down having acknowledged that out loud!

Tiger I really hope the fet works for you, it is so difficult to be positive so I will try and do it for you. Prof B was very optimistic remember, and he obvs doesn't say he's confident when he isn't. I would still go to Prague for treatment but it's so tricky to plan around work, it's much cheaper though and has very good results. I worry about spending a ton of money for something that won't ever work.

Where will you go for your weekends away? I think we might be able to go to the lakes for a night, that will be good.

Sorry I've not lifted the mood either.

Cd26 11dpo - A tiny invisible person has suddenly starting manically stabbing my right hand side with a tiny sharp dagger and it don't half hurt. 20 minutes in and it has stared to ease off.

Last cycle AF started on day 26 so this could either be AF or implantation. More likely AF but I can still hope, right? There's still a teeny tiny minuscule chance, right?

This 2ww has been particular hard for some reason and its driving me bloody insane!

And AF has arrived again on CD26, same day last cycle. Brilliant, just bloody brilliant. I'm going to have a large whisky. You'll find me in the Self Pity Jacuzzi and I'm staying in there until I turn into a raisin.

Sorry to hear that ant. It never gets any less disappointing.

beaky, I feel much the same. I am not in the best place at the moment. People are starting to talk about Christmas too, and I don't want to know! Thank you for your positivity. Scratch and protocol appointment today, so I'll be ready to start downregging on day 14 of my next cycle. Feels like it is taking an age...

Oh Ant sorry to hear that, especially after the hope the niggles had given you. Enjoy the whiskey and stay in the self pity jacuzzi as long as you need. What are your next steps?

Tiger good luck for today, I am hoping Christmas will be accompanied by a little bump for you. I did have a dream this weekend we met up and you were about 8 mths pg with a massive bump. So, I'm taking that as a premonition! Let us know how our appointment goes.

My opk still haven't had a smiley face this month which is unheard of for me, it's cd14 too. Wtf

Does anyone think we should just fill the thread and move?

Tigerdog Hope it goes smoothly today, will be thinking of you!

Beaky It's just so disheartening isn't it? We do everything right and in the end its only our uterus that decided whether or not our efforts are good enough. It's like the hardest exam in the world to pass and frankly I'm getting sick of retaking it. This holiday has come at a good time!

Next steps is try again naturally this month (peak time is 25/26 Aug so towards end of holiday) and if no joy then back to the clinic and giving them all of our savings for one more shot and start saving again for another go.

Happy to have the thread move too, just don't forget to let us know where the new home is