Pom Poms, Placards and Picket Lines. The Berries are putting up the barricades and will not be crossed! A delightful bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1.

[happylass]

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.



Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 3 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Awaiting next and final cycle with own eggs hopefully Feb/March time. HATE THIS SHIT!!



Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 2 short protocol IVF both BFN, very low amh/poor responder etc. 3rd IVF in January.



Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.



barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Private tests showed high nk cells activity and th1/th2 as well as mthrfr gene. Started downregging for long protocol ivf in Oct 15 plus two intralipid drips, and got pg. Third mc @ 6.4 weeks despite heparin, intralipids, metafolin and prednisolone. Last Ivf attempt starting February 2016 then on to adoption. 



Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try Jan 16. 



Lucieloos, 36, Low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech Republic, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3 & 4, Embryo Banking. 3 blasts in freezer. Icsi#5 in Czech in Jan. NHS cycle in Feb / March.




Sesame, 40, ttc 2 years with no dp, multiple failed IVFs, 4 ETs, 1 bfp followed by mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo. 



Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Currently experimenting with different cycles in an attempt to thicken lining.

Clem, 39, ttc since 2013. diagnosed with anovulation by nhs so on a course of clomid. no male factor issues. all other test results have come back okay inc. ovarian test reserves. currently being referred back to nhs for single funded cycle.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. Starting IVF in January.



Antonia79 36, ttc #1 since 2009, adhesions made for sticky insides & one tube removed, confirmed NHS IVF route Sept 15, TTC naturally again as recommended by doctor until IVF cycle starts (early - mid 2016) if not conceived by then.



Grin - 35, TTC 3 years, NFI why I can't get pregnant,, 3 X failed clomid attemots, 2 X ICSI failed fertilisations, 1 x IVF BFN. Doing another cycle in Mar 2016 and thinking of embryo donation.



The Roll of honour:

Pip - Quite simply the Best In Show.
Lumen - The Legend that is....

Oh Ant I'm so very sorry. It's absolutely devastating. Take care of yourselves - lots of treats

Ant I'm so sorry lovely, how lovely that your dh is taking you out, I hope you both have a lovely evening regardless. Massive hug and for you.

Sesame I am torn between wanting to do another 3 rounds and not wanting to. thats reassuring to know it hasn't cost too much more to do the separate rounds. I am a bit anxious about the whole thing mainly because of starting a new cycle after I start the new job too.

How's everyone else? Hope there is plenty of wine and weekend food on the menu for the berries tonight!

So sorry Ant. Glad you seem to be handling it well though. #BerryStrength. Relax and have a good evening tonight. and as the diet can go on hold for a while.

ant I'm so sorry

beaky I have eaten ALL the food. Made chocolate brownie earlier then went for dinner in the pub, got bro & wife over. Lovely meal, very filling, but couldn't resist pudding as well, despite it not being remotely necessary. I feel sick now and it's all totally self inflicted.....

Ah, Ant I'm sorry it was BFN. This is the worst bit, I hope you and DH managed to have a nice evening out and enjoyed some wine at least. Big hugs. Good that you have had the initial discussion about next steps. I think that, even if the thought of trying again seems tough at the moment, it is good to get the ball rolling as things tend to move so slowly (or at least they have for me).

Well done on the weight loss and the running Sesame. I will PM you and beaky my MFP username. I have been crap though, need to get properly back into being healthy after a hideous few weeks of drinking too much wine and eating loads of sweet stuff. I have put on a few pounds, which I should be able to shift if I make a little bit of effort. I am pretty good on drinks - I primarily have herbal tea and water (with the odd decaf tea or coffee thrown in) but I am terrible with sugary treats. Chocolate has become my wine replacement. This month I have had both! Your new plan sounds good, are you glad you waited another month now? Fingers crossed this variation does the trick!

Beaky good luck for you appointment tomorrow. Are you travelling there and back in a day? I hope that it goes well. Married life is good thanks, am feeling a bit sorry for myself as AF arrived with a vengeance on Thursday and has been really heavy and painful. I have also had this weird sore throat, that doesn't seem to be developing into anything further, but is very annoying. Managed to go to yoga this morning, I forgot to cancel it, so I forced myself and then I felt much better for it, so I am glad i did.

Barking you are allowed all of the food! When is your next scan?

Smidge have you made lots of nice holiday plans? That is my long and short term survival plan! Hope you're feeling nicely settled now.

happy

Where are you up to Clem? How's the healthy eating going?

All fine here apart from the low level grumbles about feeling poorly. Need to pop to the shops and then over to the in-laws for a roast. Still sitting about in my gym gear ,so better get a move on!

Thank you berries We had a lovely time last night, had some nice food, a nice bottle of red and had lots of cuddles. So next couple of weeks I'm going to eat and drink like a greedy guts and then I'll go back on the healthy eating.

Already booked back on to my yoga classes and I'll be doing at least two hours of that each week to help me get back into shape!

We're about to go on a 8 mile walk with the dog, get us out the house and get some excerise!

Hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday!

ant hope you had a good walk. Went out with our dog and a neighbour's dog for a couple of hours earlier, nothing better than a dog walk for getting you out of the house

tiger Friday, now the weekend is just about over the anxiety is already ramping up. I'm counting every hour that I don't see blood as a step forward!

The walk was grand, proper stomped it and got all the sad cobwebs out my brain. I was absolutely filthy when I came back home and had a lovely hot bath, complete with bubbles

I've had a chance to think about this cycle and as far as I understand it, the ICSI treatment did what it said on the tin, as in resulting with successfully fertilised eggs and the successful transfer of the best blastocyst. That's the whole ICSI treatment. For whatever reason, the blastocyst didn't implant itself into the lining. So using my Google-fu, I started looking it up and what I've learned is that the actual implanting is a ridiculously complex process in itself and nobody really has any clear/concrete idea how it actually does this. As for reasons why implantation fails, it could've been an abnormal blastocyst or immune system decided it was a foreign body it needed to eject just to name the more obvious ones.

The reason why I started looking is because I was starting to blame myself for it not working and I didn't want to get caught up in that. We can't control what our bodies do, we can't stop ourselves from catching a cold or a virus. When it comes down to it, it's a lottery. You have to be in it to have any chance of winning and sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. More often than not you'll lose but if you don't try, you'll always lose (unless you're amazingly lucky). In a nutshell. I've managed to stop the 'beating myself up' before it had a chance to take hold of me

And I remember when I was at school they made it seem as if you just had to LOOK at a man's penis and you'd be bursting with babies!

Ant you seem to have the right attitude. You are absolutely not to blame for it not working. There really is nothing more you could have done . My consultant at the private FC once said that implantation failure is the one remaining unsolved mystery of Ivf. As you said they just have no idea. But she said that research is moving so fast that they will get there one day in the not too distant future

Beaky I hope your appointment was productive today.

Well done on the healthy eating and MFP-ing ladies. I started really well last week but things appear to have gone awry. I will try to get back on track. Who was it that added me on MFP? Not sure if it was Tiger or Clem. I somewhere about an app that links to your Fitbit and earns you points for the steps you take, which you can then spend in retail I think? Does anyone know of this?? If not I'll try to find out more and report back.

So (as those of you on FB already know) I got a BFP on the weekend . First time in almost 4 years of TTC and the 10th & 11th embies that we've had put back. Impossible to get my head around it as I'd mentally moved on from OE IVF - we were meant to be in Czech this time next week for our DE consultation......

happy thats wonderful news.... am so, so happy for you both

That's absolutely brilliant news Happy! Congratulations on the BFP! I'll be having a large glass of wine on your behalf to celebrate tonight!

Hooray Happy I'm so so happy for you, it has been a long time coming this bfp. I really hope you have a quick and uneventful next few months. When will you be scanned?

Ant I love your attitude, it's making me feel like I need to get my shit together too which is only a good thing. Glad you've managed to enjoy your last couple of days.

Clem how's the studying going btw? Do you have long left? I just handed my last assignment in last week and am overjoyed!

Barking hand holding over here, hoping this week til scan goes quick and everything is spot on.

Tiger boo to af, you are definitely our yoga queen berry choc and wine are my go to at the moment, really need to knock that on the head though.

Consultation was ok, they gave me a v low success rate due to low ovarian reserve and lots of failed treatment already, plus loor egg quality in the past I'm going to think about what's next now, as I can do an own egg cycle with them
If I want or can do de instead.

happy that's brilliant news. At last!!! Bet you're in a state of disbelief

Beaky sorry about that stats. I can never really get my head around them really though. On the one hand I feel as if it's just tossing coins and just because you had three tails come up before doesn't mean you're more likely to get a tails again unless the coin is weighted against us but on the other I suppose it could indicate an underlying problem. But I keep coming back to the fact that only 1 in 4 are supposed to work anyway so it could just be bad luck the order in which our embryos are getting to blasts vs the lucky first-timers.

Completely not helpful.

happy Whoop! congratulations to you both! That’s a superb fufc to de fc too! Does your fc give you a blood test? And what will you do with your bank holiday weekend now – do you still holiday in Czech?

smidge, I get you on the coin tossing, I read something about cumulative pg rates from multiple cycles ivf, and that turned me into a gambler that’s part of the reason why I kept on going with treatment.

beaky glad you found the consultation useful, but sorry about the low success rate . What do you think you’ll do next? Do you plan on having any more second opinions elsewhere?

ant I’m impressed with your thinking on this stuff. And glad you feel like you can move on and try another round. Do you have a limit on the number of cycles you’re prepared to try?

barking fingers crossed for some more good news at Friday’s scan. Still willing your bean on over here! Hopefully the eating for two is making all the difference…

tiger you deserve all the and just so I can look good standing next to you , well I’m sure the rule is you should still be celebrating for at least 12 months… Hope you shake that awful throat thing, but well done on the tigeryoga. Yes I’m glad I waited another month, I have time to plan and take planned time off, rather than disappear from the office to “WFH” for days on end like last time.

Not much for me to do right now except wait. I need some berry luck for a perfectly timed af, so I can scan at the fc on Saturday ideally. Else, I might need to arrange to get a scan at a local place on Friday – but that wouldn’t really be ideal for a whole bunch of reasons. I also need to find time to drive out to asda and see if they can get my meds in.

happy

Good question from S did you already have flights and accommodation booked? Are you still going for the holiday?

Thanks Ladybros! The hotel can be cancelled without penalty and we haven't paid anything to the FC. The flights are non refundable but they are from
Stansted which is quite a trek for us so I don't think we'll bother as we won't even be there 48 hours. I also hate flying so don't want the stress at the moment either!

Hello lovely berries

Just wanted to drop in and say a massive congrats to happy, a big commiserations and berry hug to ant and a huge wave and chest bump to the rest of you.

I've been lurking like a bad berry

hi everyone, not had a chance to catch up with all the posts yet...hoping too later.

have a question (that I should know the answer too)..but just wanted to check with you all...

af rocked up yesterday (about 2pm in the afternoon). aside from the fact we are gutted about that, I am trying to work out whether I should be classing yesterday as cd1, or today as cd1? I'd been told in the past, anything after 12:00 (noon) you should class as cd1 as the next day. But because it arrived quite heavy, at the time it did...I wonder whether I should call yesterday cd1.

how do you guys work it out?

clem if it's really heavy, I class it as day 1. Sod what they say, it's my body

at spare

Clem that's a funny one, I'd probably take the next day as cd1 but I suppose it wouldn't really matter to be honest. Boo to stupid af rocking up too.

hows things going with you?

Happy that's lucky for the hotel and clinic costs, shame about the cost of flights though. How are you feeling? Will you ring the fc tomorrow?

Barking still sending tons of luck and berry vibes to you for your next scan.

Sesame I'll do a perfectly timed af dance for you, hang on while I find the gold sequin leotard... I hope this is the one for you. I am thinking of going to de now given the costings etc, it's really expensive and whilst Id love to have one of my eggs work it's unlikely and I don't have the money to keep trying. Also I want to move on with my life. I know this is well cheesy but I read an interview with Myleen Klass on Monday and she was asking about how she's ended up as a single mam, she said she became the person she had never wanted to be and so decided to embrace it, as there was no other choice. And it really stuck with me, even though it's obvious, because this isn't what I ever wanted but it's tough shit really isn't it. I hadn't put it like that to myself. Please don't kick me out of the berries for the cheese!!!

Smidge I can't get my head around it either, it is totally like tossing a coin and it's just luck if it works. So so shitty. Have you got any more trips planned?

Beaky I read a quote the other day that you just reminded me of. I'm going to totally misquote it now, but the general gist of it was The cards life has dealt you may not be fair, but that's what you've got. You still have the option to play the hell out of them.

Pretty good quote that Barking I really like the last bit.

THIRD time lucky! I have tried unsuccessfully to write two posts, one on the train that wouldn't post and then vanished, and one just now that I managed to somehow make disappear!! FFS.

I would go for today being CD 1 clem if you are in full flow. Are you having something this cycle that depends on cycle day?

happy how are you feeling? Does it feel real yet?! It was me that added you on MFP. I have been totally rubbish lately.....I am going to enjoy the bank holiday and then get myself back on track properly!

Hope you're doing ok barking, sending lots of good luck vibes for your scan on Friday.

sesame I hope AF shows up at the right time, none of her usual tricks please! I am gradually trailing off the wine and chocolate, we have a bit of a posh lunch booked on Saturday, but then I will try my best to be good. Even just a few extra pounds make me feel uncomfortable. My trousers were too tight today and it made me feel angry!

beaky I'm sorry that the outlook wasn't better but it sounded like a useful appointment to help you decide what to do. I think you've hit the nail on head there, and it isn't cheesy (although I must say, I am not keen on Mylene Klass). You're right, this infertility business is tough shit, and the only choice is to get on with it. With DE, I think the thought of it is really hard, and getting to the decision takes a lot of soul searching, but I keep asking myself, will it make any difference when you hold the baby you have given birth to in your arms? I can't imagine that, after all this time wanting my own family, that it would. It is very personal though. (Sorry, I am the one being cheesy now!!). I think a lot about it at the moment.

Ant, I think you are taking the right approach to things; you sound very level headed! Definitely can't blame yourself for the IVF not working, there is so much that we cannot control. I hope you're doing ok, and enjoying a few glasses of wine.

Not much to report here really, I need to start chasing my FC for cancellations and researching immune testing and treatment. The new job has been a bit of a distraction for the last two weeks, but things should settle down a bit soon. My sore throat has gone without turning into a cold, thankfully!

I have had a date for my eye surgery, but I am going to have to delay it, as it is too close to our honeymoon and I wouldn't be able to swim and will still look a bit rough no doubt. I also think it might be getting worse, and in fact I think that IVF makes it worse, as it was after my first cycle that I had to go to the opticians and doctors about it. Has anyone had any issues with their vision deteriorating after IVF?

Hello ladies! Hopefully some of you will remember me, I used to post on here a while back! I have to own up to stalking you now and then, to see how you're all getting on. I just wanted to say a big congratulations to barking - I really really hope everything goes smoothly for you this time round and wishing you lots of luck for your next scan. And also hurrah for happy! Amazing news, am so pleased for you! Maybe it's time to resurrect the berrycopter thread so it's hovering for you as and when you're ready to jump aboard!?

I remember you Chloe, a post of yours came up when I was googling symptoms 7dp5dt or some such thing - so in fact you introduced me to mumsnet in general, not just the berry thread

I'm still hanging around despite having had to hand in the towel. Can't quite bring myself to leave the berry kingdom just yet. AF just arrived here, and I only let myself think 'maybe this month' the once... Not sure it'll ever go away.

Beaky our next trip away is supposed to be Italy, for my 40th birthday towards the end of May. We MrSmidge haven't booked anything yet but we're supposed to be leaving in about 2 weeks time!

Tiger grr to the non-posts, v annoying. What's this about your eye surgery? I think I've missed that. Is it laser correction or something more serious? I've never dared do the laser but I'm always in awe of people who do.