Pom Poms, Placards and Picket Lines. The Berries are putting up the barricades and will not be crossed! A delightful bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1.

[happylass]

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.



Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 3 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Awaiting next and final cycle with own eggs hopefully Feb/March time. HATE THIS SHIT!!



Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 2 short protocol IVF both BFN, very low amh/poor responder etc. 3rd IVF in January.



Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.



barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Private tests showed high nk cells activity and th1/th2 as well as mthrfr gene. Started downregging for long protocol ivf in Oct 15 plus two intralipid drips, and got pg. Third mc @ 6.4 weeks despite heparin, intralipids, metafolin and prednisolone. Last Ivf attempt starting February 2016 then on to adoption. 



Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try Jan 16. 



Lucieloos, 36, Low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech Republic, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3 & 4, Embryo Banking. 3 blasts in freezer. Icsi#5 in Czech in Jan. NHS cycle in Feb / March.




Sesame, 40, ttc 2 years with no dp, multiple failed IVFs, 4 ETs, 1 bfp followed by mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo. 



Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Currently experimenting with different cycles in an attempt to thicken lining.

Clem, 39, ttc since 2013. diagnosed with anovulation by nhs so on a course of clomid. no male factor issues. all other test results have come back okay inc. ovarian test reserves. currently being referred back to nhs for single funded cycle.

Nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. Starting IVF in January.



Antonia79 36, ttc #1 since 2009, adhesions made for sticky insides & one tube removed, confirmed NHS IVF route Sept 15, TTC naturally again as recommended by doctor until IVF cycle starts (early - mid 2016) if not conceived by then.



Grin - 35, TTC 3 years, NFI why I can't get pregnant,, 3 X failed clomid attemots, 2 X ICSI failed fertilisations, 1 x IVF BFN. Doing another cycle in Mar 2016 and thinking of embryo donation.



The Roll of honour:

Pip - Quite simply the Best In Show.
Lumen - The Legend that is....

Hello smidge nice to see you! Glad to think I pointed someone in the direction of the lovely berries! After long term ttc I don't think you ever stop that wondering of "maybe this month" even if you have made the decision to move on. I wish you all the best. Even if the road you're taking isn't the one you wished for, it doesn't mean it can't be filled with lots of happiness. And I wish you that in bucket loads!

Hello Chloe! Hope all is well with you

Smidge I remember you mentioning Italy now, get booked!! Sounds lovely.

Tiger what's the eye surgery? I kind of remember you mentioning it last year I think. Glad work is settling down and yes I hate it when my trousers feel a bit tight, which is too often these days for me!

Sesame any sign yet?

Barking sending all of the luck in the world your way for tomorrow, keeping literally everything I have crossed.

Popping on quickly to wish barking good luck for your scan later. I have everything crossed for you! Will be back with a proper update later.

wishing you so much luck for later barking

tiger it's so frustrating when that happens! I type everything into a notes app on my phone now, then copy it across to the site to post. That way if it doesn't post I can just copy it again!
I've never had a problem with my vision but DH is having problems with his left eye at the moment - given his limited role in the ivf process it's not likely to be related .

chloe hello! Hope you're doing okay! Thanks for the good wishes

smidge I have always sworn I'll go back on the pill when this is all over. It seems ridiculous, but it would take out that tiny glimmer of hope followed by disappointment every month.

Thanks beaky/sesame/clem/tiger for the good luck. I'm absolutely terrified, and the fear gets worse the closer to 4pm I get.... I brought the dog to work with me today (he's chilling in the camper van while I'm in the office) so I've just taken him for a walk and now I'm just chilling with him in the camper for 10 minutes before lunch is over and I have to go back to my desk.

All the best for this afternoon Barking! Crossing everything for you!

Measuring 8+1 and still has a heartbeat. And breathe....

I'm going to continue to lurk but I don't want to keep updating about myself on the thread, so if you don't hear from me assume all is okay .

Pom poms out for happy, I'm taking you with me missus! We need to get the 'copter ready for the rest of the berries .

yay barking...such brilliant, brilliant news.

feel free to lurk away...and yes, please get the copter ready with happy as I'm hoping this is the start of a lot of berry luck. xx

That's great news barking! I've really been rooting for you! I can't imagine what you must be going through before every scan after the time you've had. I hope that at some point the worry starts to ease off and you can enjoy your pregnancy.

I'll go and hunt down the copter - maybe this will be the start of a clusterdiff!

Morning Ladybros. Apologies for the silence. Exam season is in full swing so it's been manic. But also the longest week ever!!
Barking I'm absolutely thrilled for you my lovely. Can't even think about the chopper yet, but hopefully one day.....
Chloe great to see you. Hope you are well.
Smidge Italy is one of my most favourite places. Where are you headed? We go to Venice in July. Also there's no way you are leaving us!! But if you do get fed up of the TTC talk there's always the FB group. Lots of lapsed Berries over there.
Hope everyone else is ok. Beaky, Tiger, Sesame, Ant, Clem? Where are you all up to now?
What's everyone got planned for the Bank Hol? DH is at the rugby today so I'm off to lunch with my Mum. We're off to Weston-Super-Mare for the night tomorrow. Only thing we could get last minute given that we were meant to be in Czech this weekend! Hope everyone has a good one whatever they're up to!

Morning! Awake stupidly early here, see I'm not the only one happy! Hope you're doing ok. Have you got a scan booked? I'm not really up to anywhere, follow up from my failed cycle isn't till July and FET won't be until Sept they say. Hoping to book NK biopsy for early June (has to be over two months post IVF) and I'm looking at private clinics to see about immune testing but I feel unsure about where to go. I want to get intitial tests at the GP but I can't get an appointment. I want to change GP but not until my funding for the FET is confirmed. Firmly stuck on the chaise longue of limbo..

barking, that is the best news ever! Fingers crossed that all continues to go smoothly.

Hi chloe, nice to see you. Hope all is well! Get the chopper back in the air for sure! I hope this marks a change in Berry fortunes.

smidge, Italy sounds fab where will you go? I enjoyed Umbria and Tuscany when we went a couple of years ago. Don't leave us, it won't be the same without you! I doubt the glimmer of hope ever completely disappears.

smidge/beaky my eye muscle in one eye has weakened and I have worsening double vision and a wonky eye This op will hopefully allow the muscle to be tightened to get the eyes back into alignment. I'm actually really nervous about it and I think it will be pretty grim too.

sesame how are you? Did AF arrive as required and are you scanning today? Fingers crossed!

clem how's things with you?

ant did you do your two hours of yoga this week? I'm off to a class at 9 and also booked in tomorrow and Monday so we'll see how that goes!

beaky how are you? Is the new job imminent? Hope you're getting on ok with all the decision making. It is so hard isn't it. I'm a bit stuck too. A surprise good thing about my new job is the mat leave - it used to be the statutory minimum but now it's really good and even better than my last place. Fingers crossed I get to take advantage of it one day...

Apart from yoga I've not got too much planned, we're off out for special lunch today, for no good reason other than to treat ourselves. Just looking forward to a relaxed couple of days really, then I really need to get back into the healthy eating etc.

Ugh Tiger I've been awake at 5am every day this week. Not sure if it's all the drugs or just that its so light outside. I feel like I've done a full day already and it's only 8am!! Where/when are you heading off on honeymoon? Sorry to hear about your eye op - sounds painful but necessary
Our first scan is booked for May 18th. Not sure how I'll hold it together until then!

We'll be here to handhold till then, fingers crossed the three weeks passes as quickly as possible!! I'm an early riser naturally but I always seem to wake up extra early at the weekend. We're off on 26 June, cannot wait. Need to finalise the itinerary and use the next 8 weeks to get myself looking presentable in a bikini! On that note, best head to yoga!

Barking I'm absolutely thrilled for you lady, this is amazing berry news. I'm keeping everything crossed for you and Happy, it's about time for you two.

Happy boo to exams and work, I hope you have a lovely weekend and a bit of time for yourself. The 18th will be here before you know it but we are hear for distracting you and handholding.

Sesame any news on af/scans? I must get into the Drs to get the tests done the dr recommended.

Tiger that doesn't sound too nice op wise, will it be much recovery time do you know? Great to hear you have fab maternity benefits in the new job, that's a big relief I'd imagine. There's a few clinics that will just do the immunes testing for you I think, the prices vary widely though so you'd have to shop around, it is much much cheaper in Prague and abroad. I think my clinic was approx £250 for all of the tests. Also I've booked onto a beginners yoga course! I've been desperate to try it for ages so I'm really excited!

Smidge don't leave also I agree, I think there would always be a teeny bit of hope unless you went back on the pill or something.

I would probably be pressing on sooner with IVF etc but new job is a fixed term contract (mat cover!!) and so I am worried if it did work then I wouldn't have a job to take mat leave from! So much worrying, probably for nothing.

Have a good weekend everyone!

barking That's totally amazing! I'm so happy for you, you've had me in tears! Everything is still crossed for you to get through the next few weeks to the next milestone. Please do keep lurking here as long as you like, but also feel free to leave the occasional post if you feel like letting us know how you're getting on. I'm just so excited about you and happy right now. We've all been overdue a change in luck for so so long!!

clem I'm a bit late to the party but I agree with the other berries about cd1. What are your plans right now? Were you on af watch for another cycle or is it for more testing or something?

happy glad that there wasn't any bother to cancel your trip. Btw I think you can still get an air passenger duty refund on a cancelled flight - it's only a few quid but poss might be worth doing? So glad you managed to book something else, have a nice trip to Weston! How are you feeling? When I was pg I didn't get a lot of sleep as I felt very warm at night. Everything is crossed for the early scan - have a paw hold meanwhile.

spare!!!

beaky thanks for the moves, they did the trick! I like that Mylene quote . I keep thinking of an interview with Jane Torvill I heard once where she says she left it too late to start a family. When she tried it didn't happen for her and she ended up adopting. When asked whether she had any regrets she said no - as she would never have ended up with the children she did end up with otherwise. If you do go down the de route I would recommend a session of implications counselling. I found that very helpful, especially in thinking about and accepting the reasons why people might choose to donate themselves.

chloe hello! We've not met before. Are you a grad berry?

tiger well done on all the yoga and hope you enjoy your lunch today. Feel free to come back to join me on mfp when you're ready as it's getting a bit lonely. I've managed to lose 4lb so far but think I'm getting close to that giving up point where I start to get annoyed about logging all my meals.... Ah, I wondered why the eye op, really hope it fits into your schedule and it does fix all the problems.

smidge please do keep hanging out here as long as you want to. I like hearing all your news and I like living through others... I do hope you find something nice to do for your 40th!

ant how are things?

Thanks for all the shimmies and shakes ladies. It worked, af arrived bang on schedule yesterday afternoon! That's a big win for my phone app and temping. Had my baseline scan this morning. There are currently 2 follies there, one on each side. I start the drugs today. We're hoping we can get both follies to grow evenly, rather than have one take over, which is what normally happens on a natural cycle. Back in for another scan on Tuesday to see if that approach is working.

Hello everyone, nice to be remembered! I'm doing great thanks!

happy I hope the time until your scan flies by - will be so lovely to see your little bean on screen!

Nice to meet you sesame! Yes I'm a berry grad - we have a 13mo little princess after IVF. Will be forever grateful to the berries for helping me through it!

Evening berries, quiet today!

Chloe that's lovely to hear! Glad you and the lo are doing well.

Sesame great news that you are underway. How do you feel? Fx for those two little follies. I hope they do grow evenly, that's what my worry with natural modified is, I don't really want to do IVF for one egg and I think one would race ahead and my others, if any, would be crap late starters like in my first round. Anyway, when is your next scan? I will have the pompoms ready! Interesting story about Jane Torville, and I think again, it's spot on about accepting your situation and making the best of things. As tiger said about de, when you have your baby in your arms, it isn't really going to matter.

Tiger how was the lovely lunch?

Clem, Ant how are you?

Barking and Happy hoping you both are ok and not menkulling too much.

Berries I still feel like I've not had an answer about my infertility. When I read other threads etc, I seem to have a really good fertilisation rate from the low number of eggs collected, but I can't understand why that is the case if the eggs are crap. I've not had a bfp ever. When I first had tests done all of my bloods etc were in normal ranges, fsh/lh were good etc. So I wonder why then and prior to that it didn't work. People get bfp's with less eggs and poorer reserve too. Surely my eggs haven't always been crap? Or maybe they have but I can't get my head round it never having worked over all this time. I know that I need to just move on because there is no answer, but I do worry that there maybe something else. If it is just egg quality then de is hopefully the answer, and that would be great. But what if after spending thousands of pounds on de it doesn't work, still?! I'm just thinking out loud really but if anyone wants to chip in feel free! I wish there were some guarantees that don't cost €21,000
To be honest I think I just need a wang proffers face for a slap

Enjoy the extra lie in tomorrow berries!

beaky thanks I do kinda wish I started with this approach for my other 2 natural cycles and aimed to get more than one egg. Overall I don't think natural cycle is a good idea for anyone who has a chance of getting more than a couple of eggs out of ivf. But given my last 2 antagonist rounds only got one egg apiece after a grand's worth of drugs, moving on to natural cycle makes total sense to me.

If I was in your situation I would probably be wondering all the same things. I do properly hate all this crap eggs chat from fc's. I just think that's not really the whole picture and none of the fc's blame themselves for the methods they use to get the eggs out in the first place. One thing's for sure though, ivf is a pretty rubbish and inefficient way to try and get pg, and its much much harder for it to work with low numbers of eggs. That's where the donor eggs come in - you are much more likely to get more eggs and younger eggs, and with any luck more of them would be chromosomally competent. But I think you do still need the rest of things to fall into place.

If I was in your position, before moving on I'd explore of there is anything else to consider getting tested for or any other second opinions to be got. That could include the mc array tests, nk cells testing at Coventry, chromosome analysis for both you and dh etc. I guess before spending 6-8k on de, spending a little bit to reduce doubt over implantation issues or even unexplored male factor issues could perhaps give some piece of mind? I hope this reply makes sense and isn't too rambling.

chloe aww always lovely to hear from a grad and great news on the lo

Beaky you sound very much like me. Other than DH's ASAB (which the ICSI should overcome) we have no diagnosed issues. We have always had a reasonably good response and fertilisation rate, almost all our embies went to blast and everyone who's ever dildocamed me has commented on my perfect womble lining. So why the hell didn't any of the first 9 embies we had put back stick?? I asked this question at least 3 times. The first time (after 5 embies) I was told that it was just a numbers game and it would probably happen. The second time (7 embies) I was told there was nothing to suggest any particular issue 'at this stage'. The 3rd time (9 embies) I was told they would treat recurrent implantation failure the same as recurrent miscarriage and she gave me the Clexane and Pred (I did have Pred once before but this is a higher dose). Now obviously I have no way of knowing if the extra drugs did the job (but it would be a huge coincidence if not) or if we did just finally stumble upon the one lucky embie. And even now I obviously haven't a clue if this is going to stick or not and what the hell I'd do if it doesn't work out. It's a totally personal decision as to when to call it quits. We'd decided that enough was enough after our last fresh cycle and, again, it was only sheer luck that we got a few Frosties and carried on. With regards to the DE I had exactly the same doubts about it not working but I just decided that it was worth the gamble as what other option is there? Having written all that I'm not sure how helpful it all is but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I think not having any answers is the biggest headfuck. At least if you have a reason for it not working you can make an informed decision and aren't left with the 'What if...?' hanging over you. You definitely don't need a wang but you can have a big Berry hug
On a side would you consider a more economical option for DE? The clinics I looked at in Czech were only about a quarter of that price. May not be so much of a gamble then.....?

A very happy Sunday all. I am delighted that there's no work tomorrow!

beaky, I completely hear you. The not knowing makes it very hard. Much the same here - on paper I should have gotten pregnant without too much trouble, never mind having two failed IVF cycles behind me and 3.5 years TTC without a bfp and no answers. I think I agree with sesame on the additional testing being something to think about, there may be some clues to be gained that would help in future cycles. It is a scary thought of spending all that money on DE for it not to work too. Urgh, it's all so bloody hard. Big hug, not a wang, from me.

Lunch was lovely, we had a tasting menu and matching drinks (rhubarb GnT to go with dessert was amazing!) but at an edgy pop-up type place so quite cheap! Did nothing today as I felt a bit hungover, just been holiday planning and booking up fun stuff for the summer. Less than 8 weeks until Croatia! Tomorrow is clinic research, going to get my shit together and come up with a plan.

Glad that af arrived on time sesame and fingers crossed for even growth. 4lb weight loss is great, don't give up! I've continued the badness this weekend with a fair amount of wine and indulgent food. Cooked a roast this evening, followed by an apple, cherry and almond crumble, and now I'm just lounging on the sofa. Back on MFP from tomorrow! Hot yoga in the evening to help me get back on track!

beaky have you thought about the Chicago tests? If you have immune issues this could be preventing implantation. What drugs have you been on post transfer in previous cycles? The prednisolone, heparin and intralipids on top of progesterone seem to be quite common, but some clinics prescribe emperically and some don't.

Thanks berries, it is good to chat this through with people who get it.

Barking I've had a few immunes tests (lupus, thrombophilia, and some others) and both Gennet and create said they wouldn't do any more at the moment, although they did say to get my thyroid and diabetes tests done. My NHS clinic gave me the nk cells testing info but he wasn't really behind it, also they won't prescribe unless you have a proven issue. I feel at a bit of a loss about it really, i.e. No one will say yes do this... But Gennett do prescribe clexane and prednisolone anyway.

Tiger that sounds amazing, glad you and MrT are having a lovely few days! You sound like a fab cook too, shame we don't all live closer . Yes it's partly the thought of spending all that money and partly the thought that something isn't right but I don't know what, that makes me hesitate. What research will you be doing clinic wise?

Happy that makes me so annoyed that you may well have had a different result if they had prescribed differently earlier. I know you don't know for sure but surely a couple of blood tests earlier on would be helpful. Clinics seem to only be concerned with straightforward or identifiable problems. Gennet in Prague is about £5k for de and they offer a free third round if you're not pg by then. It's so fucking expensive.

Sesame I think it does make sense for you, it also annoys me that "alternative" protocols aren't offered unless they are asked for and sometimes even not then. You are right in that the clinics don't take any responsibility for their part. My NHS clinic won't treat me on any other protocol than the standard sp for poor responders which hasn't worked for 3 rounds. It's so frustrating. I just don't know about additional tests. I wondered if it was worth doing karyotype tests and some additional tests on dh's sperm, we've always been told it was always great and no issues so we just accepted that.

Anyway sorry to be all me, me, thanks for the hugs too.

I wish we did live closer beaky! Would be good to talk it all over a cuppa and a slice of cake (or a glass of wine). Made a gluten free carrot, banana and coconut cake today, it's not bad given that it doesn't have much sugar in!

You are never 'me, me' by the way, and it helps us all to share and discuss the details. Massive hug. Perhaps the NK biopsy at Coventry would be worth considering? As it is a trial, it is subsidised so only (haha) about £350 and that includes a consultation and then if necessary they will prescribe the required drugs. I am going to call them tomorrow with a view to provisionally booking in for next month.

I feel really disengaged with my infertility at the moment, if that makes any sense? I'm just feeling very numb, I guess it hasn't been that long since my last cycle so this is still the fall out from that.

Had a very lazy bank holiday Monday today, just what I needed. Finalised the holiday itinerary, very excited about that now! Hope everyone is ok and has had a lovely long weekend?

happy out of interest would you share the details of your prednisolone/clexane protocol? I'm wondering how the doses etc. might compare to my own fc. I'm also interested in the same from barking, if you feel like delurking?

tiger your lunch sounded fantastic, glad you had a good time and have made the most from your weekend. That cake sounds gorgeous. I could call round in time for tea if you've still got some in....? I know what you mean about feeling disengaged. Your failed cycle was so recent though and you've been so busy since - do give yourself time and space to adjust and get used to the idea of having to try again.

beaky to be fair I know sod all about male issues. I only suggested further tests like karyotyping as I think this is a limiting factor for successful treatment with de (along with womble issues). And I've heard of fc's who offer a treatment guarantee asking for this in advance. As tiger said you are clearly not a me me me poster - and all of us deserve a little support.

Scan today showed I do still have 2 follicles, although one is racing ahead a little bit. I'd like my lining to thicken up a little too - so any womble thickening dances gratefully received - although I do still have a triple layer and the doc didn't seem too concerned. EC might very well be in Saturday, and I'm back in tomorrow cos I just can't get enough dildocam action to check on growth.

Hi Berries, just a quick catch up from me.

Have a meeting with FC next week to talk options. Me and DH currently agree to two more rounds of IVF but that all depends on how much it will cost. I've had a couple of down moments when I think about it but I think that's to be expected.

I've really let myself go since OTD and have put on a *bit of weight So I'm back on MFP and having a crack at Fitstar app which is a fitness exercise thingy. Now I have absolutely no excuse to not exercise as I can do them at home. I've started up doing Yoga again for 2 hours a week and aiming to do at least three workouts a week as well.

• Almost half a bloody stone in weight!!! I am very disappointed with myself I can tell you

Hope everyone had a lovely long bank holiday weekend and you're all well and good! There's talk of some warm sunshine weather this weekend... Might even dust the old barbecue down