Forty and over trying for a first baby - join us here

[JessieMcJessie]

A year ago today I started this thread

Any 40+ladies out there TTC #1?

and, 1000 posts later, it has filled up with the shared experiences of various fantastic women who find ourselves hoping to start a family after the age of 40. And listen out Daily Mail - not one of us deliberately "delayed motherhood" to concentrate on our careers or frivolous pursuits. By and large we just didn't meet the right person (or decide to go it alone) till we were quite long in the tooth.

Trying for a first at this age has its own special challenges. The old thread contains its fair share of sad tales of early miscarriage and disapointing test results. However it is also a great place for success stories and positive thinking and it has been a lifeline for me over the past year.

Although those who already have a child or children and are trying for more in their forties are welcome to join (and we absolutely understand the real pain of secondary infertility), part of the value of this thread is the opportunity to share experience amongst those of us for whom failure will mean no children at all, rather than a smaller family than we'd like. It's also a place where we all share a sense of total uncharted territory where pregnancy and childbrirth are concerned!

There are a number of stalwarts who have been with me from almost day one and I hope you'll join this new thread too, but we all hope to graduate eventually to the pregnancy boards so new joiners are very important! If your fortieth is looming it's fine to join a bit before.

A newish poster asked last week if people could post their "stats" and I think that's a good idea. So I'll kick it off (feel free to include whatever info you feel like giving):

Jessie McJessie 42, TTC since October 2014 (13 months) having only met my DH at the tender age of 38. 2 chemical pregnancies, one blocked tube, low AMH, one failed IUI, 1 failed IVF and about to start our second IVF. Just moved back to London after 6 years in Hong Kong.

So, off we go. We have a special skill at scouring the media for stories of celebs having babies over 40. And there's no such thing as TMI .

So had two dinner dates with old friends tonight either university crowd or old school friends. University friend aged 43 pregnant with second all the others got two or three so decided old school friends better option as all of them got fertility issues only to rock up and friend aged 43 who I talked to in April about how the heck were going to make it happen is six months pregnant. Of course I'm happy for her but so jealous to. All my 43 year old friends are pregnant which should fill me with hope but somehow makes me dispair. So, tonight Matthew it is I who am evil wanting to be pregnant lady. Rrrr

That sucks wotsit , especially after your careful strategic planning! I think there's a difference between hearing about pregnancies and having them in your face over dinner - that's when the envy replaces the inspiration...
We can be evil here together...

That makes me feel a bit better that you found injecting OK, Jessie. I should be fine because I had to do it once before after an op. The thought of it was worse than actually doing it.

I've got suprecor (the suppressant drug - that's the one that'll 'put me in menopause' - hate saying that!), then gonal f, then pregnyl for just before egg collection. And of course the pessaries for after transfer.

In the end I phoned the clinic to own up to not putting the drugs in the fridge immediately (another own-up call!) and they said the gonal f would be OK but we should replace the pregnyl just to be safe. I still think they would be fine as they felt so cold even after 24 hours (as they'd been in the unopened cool box the whole time). Still, I suppose better to play safe over something so important. It will cost us about £30 to replace them I think - annoying, but not the end of the world. :-)

Know how you feel, wotsits. I find myself feeling jealous sometimes of anyone who got there easily, whatever their age. I can be more genuinely happy if it was a struggle. I know, what a terrible admission, but hey, yes, let's all be evil here together this Christmas ... ahahaha!

I do hope this thread is still going! I am very active on "donor iui" thread but I need more! More sharing is caring :)

So I am 41 years old and I am waiting to see if my 4th try of natural iui with donor sperm is successful. I am supposed to test on Monday but will test tomorrow as cannot take the wait anymore!

I have already arranged that my next cycle (fingers crossed i will not need it) will be medicated iui... Although I am a bit clueless as to what that will entail. Then if that does not work I will moce to ivf.

I am getting a lot of pressure from family to start ivf sooner but I am not yet ready for that level of intervention... Although I know that I will try every avenue as I do so want to have a child.

Good luck, Kwick!
I was trying fairly naturally with a sperm donor, until I had fertility tests and was told I had very low AMH. It made sense to move to IVF then.
Have you had any tests done?

I have arrived in Athens for my hysteroscopy and scratch.
Exhausted ! Think I have been awake over 45 hours!
Sleep, explore and pre op tests at hospital tomorrow! I'll keep you posted!!

Good luck, Daisy, and enjoy Athens! When are you having the scratch? I'm having one on Tuesday - feeling a bit nervous about it ...

Hello, Kwik! And good luck to you, too. I think you should try to ignore the family pressure. You've got to feel totally comfortable with your path over this, I reckon.

Anyway, welcome! Really nice that you're joining in here! The more the merrier ... :-)

Loueeza, they do the scratch at the same time as the hysteroscopy. I am nervous too, and not sure I want to watch the video afterwards to look at any issues they cleared out.
I'll keep you all posted!!
I'm trying to tell myself that this time tomorrow it'll all be over and I'll be enjoying a good nights sleep before heading for a family xmas

Good luck daisy you are so pro- active! Hope it all goes well tomorrow. Xx

And good luck lou for Tuesday.

Feeling spurred on by your 43 year old friends wotsit!!

Am 7 dp5dt today (equivalent to 12 dpi in a natural cycle). Official test date is Chrismas day but it seems that Santa has come early. Deep breaths....

Best of luck for the procedure today Daisy.

Woohoo Jessie! Everything well and truly crossed for you. Hope everyone else is doing as well as can be expected. AF arrived here so I've been miserable. Onto the next cycle...

Good luck to Daisy and Loueeza with your scratches etc today/tomorrow.

Fantastic news Jessie, a lovely early Christmas gift.

Hope everyone has a relaxing and stress free Christmas week.

Wow! That's fantastic Jessie!!!!! Great to see!! especially so early! Hopefully this means a high HCG number
I am now laying in a hospital bed in athens, itching to get out.
I didn't find the procedure the nicest thing in the world but I am a bit of a wuss when it comes to things like this.
Looking forward to hearing what the clinic says, hope they found something that may have contributed to the HCG dropping each time.

Thanks all. When will you get your feedback Daisy? Did you have sedation for the procedure?

The line I got this morning is much stronger than the ones I got last month at 14 and 15 dpo (and I think possibly stronger than for the chemical last April) so am really hoping this is going to go the distance. But of course all I can do is wait. I am going to try to distract myself by baking DH's Dad's favourite Nowegian Christmas pepper biscuits.

Jessie!!

OMG ... well done!!! I'm in shock for you, as I thought you weren't going to test until Christmas day, you tinker ;-)

What a perfect early pressie from Santa.

That line does indeed look like a nice strong one - twins??? triplets? Hahaha ;-)

Really, really happy for you, honey :-)

Glad the procedure wasn't too awful, Daisy. Got mine early tomorrow. Not looking forward to it (needless to say) but like you just telling myself it'll all be over by lunchtime and then I can get on and look forward to Christmas (despite having to start with the pre IVF injections).

Hope you're enjoying Athens!

I did swear I would not test till Xmas day. It's even written in one of my posts above in this thread! But just couldn't resist in the end.
I rationalised that knowing early would be useful info for the next IVF even if it didn't stick.

The official test day is a couple of days later than the last day in my usual cycle and I knew that the clinic did work in bit of a margin to try to avoid patients getting false negatives. And also really preferred to find out at home than at inlaws' house. But basically I am just chronically impatient! Is it Christmas yet?

Very best of luck for tomorrow Loueeza.

Thanks for all well wishes. I got a BFN and am now waiting for AF so i can get my baseline scan done and get meds. Very disappointing - 4th failed natural iui... i am now moving on to medicated and then to ivf. Time is ticking!
I have had lots of bloods done - all okay for age. ORT okay also given age and only 1 ovary.
Best of luck to one and all!

It went fine today. Bit more traumatic because I'm wuss about needles and stuff.
They didn't find any big problems, a little inflammation, some old tissue. Tubes were open , no scar tissue. Everything 'normal'.
They took some blood for the hidden infections tests.
And I have antibiotics and some other tablets for encouraging healthy lining

I bled afterwards and had period like pains. The pains stopped in about an hour and the bleeding has more or less stopped now.
Watching the implantation cuts was freaky, pressing down in a line with a dot like pattern. The doctor said it is like digging up your soil in the garden to encourage new growth. Hope it helps with the next cycle!
You'll be fine tomorrow loueeza
And jessie, such exciting news! A great way to start 2016!!

What was your AMH, Kwick?

Jessie wow - just wow!!

Perhaps this is the start of a run of bfp' for our little group!!

Ahh jessie this is wonderful heartwarming news!! Fx it ok goes well for you in these next few weeks and all is as it should be xxxxxx

. I am feeling so positive this week after a conversation with a colleague at work re adoption. I phoned the local adoption contact so we are heading that way in the new year. Very excited about the renewed hope on this thread xxx

Annie, that's such fabulous news! What a lovely hopeful way to start the new year that will be. Will so look forward to hearing about your journey. In the meantime, have a lovely Christmas.

As for me, I've had an eventful few days. Had my 'endo scratch' on Tues. Hardly felt a thing. It was certainly no worse than a smear for me, although I did have a bit of af cramping that evening, I guess when my body was getting tired.

If I'm honest, I did find it slightly traumatic though. I think it was because I was at the clinic for treatment for the first time, they were treating it like a mini op so I had to get all dressed all in the gown and cap thing, and then they left me in this tiny stark white dressing room for AGES (think they were waiting for the surgeon). Felt like a prison cell! Then I found the procedure just really undignified, much worse than a smear for some reason. I know I've got to get used to that, but it felt pretty horrible all the same.

Had a day to recover, then last night I had to do my first down-regging injection. Oh my goodness. I sat there for about half an hour holding the needle. What a wuss. I finally managed to do it by sitting in the half darkened bathroom so I couldn't see the needle very well and then just jabbing it in. Think I jabbed and pressed a bit too hard though because to be honest it did hurt me a bit. Felt a bit sore afterwards. Surely every one won't be like that. I may have 30+ of them to do!

On the positive side (better say SOMETHING positive today!!!) I'm feeling OK about it all. Determined to just face it step by step.

Seriously, though. I know it'll all be worth it if it works (only have to look at Jessie!), but right now it feels like such a lot of hassle and discomfort for such a potentially big IF.

I found myself lying in bed after my scratch wondering how on earth some women go through cycle after cycle after cycle of this. I know how they do, of course, but right now if I thought I had to do that I'm not sure I could face it.

Anyway, I'm definitely rambling. Have a wonderful Christmas and new year, everyone. And, of course, good luck for the new year. Let's hope this next year brings us all what we're longing for! xxx

Loueeza, don't worry, I found the hysto traumatic too. Although the doctors and nurses were kind, due to my general wussiness it was all a bit too much. Especially when I had one nurse spreading my legs, one opening my gown to put cardio monitoring things on, another doing blood pressure, another doing needle in arm. Efficient, but I felt and looked like a harassed starfish! Legs and arms akimbo!

Now, to the injections!! Had a massive phobia all my life so I hated it and was shaking and almost giving up!
I got advice from some
Lovely folks online, some helped some didn't. I'll shared the most useful for me here now. I am sure you will find your own routine which suits you.

Emla cream; it numbs the area (I personally didn't find this helpful as the cream needs to be on the skin for a while, so this just made me think about it and make it more traumatic in my head. But I know it helped a lot of people)
Ice; this does help numb the spot, and for afterwards, but not too long. I do this as its part of the routine I have to prepare myself.
Sucking a sweet; the idea being it will be over by the time you finish. I did find this useful as a sensory distraction.
Actually what I found the best was distractions. I would put the radio or music on and when I was home alone, in front of the telly, giving myself permission to not rush.

I would gently hold the needle against my skin and push in, then wait a few seconds before pushing the plunger....a great time for me to focus on telly or music!!
Give some distractions a try. I think you might find it easier than in a dark bathroom. I don't think I could do it like that even now!

Good luck and merry Christmas to everyone!