Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

happy I'm so sorry it was bfn. Thinking of you.

Barking I'm just so gutted for you. This shouldn't be happening to you again. Take it easy and look after yourself.

sesame sounds like a tough day. It's horrible to have that sinking feeling. Hope you're feeling better today. Have you started to formulate a next steps plan?

Glad the rash has gone beaky. I know what you mean about age - I've got to have surgery because of an eye muscle weakness, and I'm seriously considering a more drastic solution for my under eye darkness!

Mr T has to drive all the way to London to give a sample and then drive back again today. I won't even see him because he had to get back for the dog. Then back again for our appointment on Thursday.

Hope everyone's doing ok today. it is a bit at the moment.

Happy, I'm so sorry about your bfn. I was really crossing my fingers that this was it for you this time.

Barking, so sorry to hear your news as well. Life can be very cruel.

Sesame, sorry your appt wasn't more helpful. I don't think it would hurt to get some of the extra tests done just so you have covered all bases.

akk. Missed your news, happy. So gutted for you

happy I'm so sorry it was a bfn. I hope your FC will be able to confirm and not make you carry on taking the drugs til their v late OTD. I hate taking the drugs when I know it's over. It's like a slap in the face

Barking I'm so sorry for you too. Life is so cruel. I'm beginning to think these FUFCs are actually FCFUs instead

I'm stimming now and trying not to forget to sniff as well. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten 2 doses so far. Hoping that won't cock things up. getting so blasé these days as it just seems inevitable it won't work so who cares first scan & bloods on Friday, day 6/7 ish.

Grin yes, my nose would be a little disjointed about that too. Fx for your results! How did your most recent scan go? Fx for an eggcellent ec on Friday!

Tiger how frustrating about the eye surgery. My under eye bags are terrible these days. Best of luck for your appointment tomorrow, I'm crossing absolutely everything you get an earlier cycle start date.

Smidge how is stimming going? Fx for a good result on Friday.

sesame how are you? What's your thoughts now after your wtf?

Barking, thinking of you

Nothing to report for me, just constant headaches But otherwise waiting for counselling and a scratch.

seasame I know this is a few days late, but sorry you didn't get much useful info out of your wtf appointment. hope you are doing okay (think you are amazing to be doing this on your own)

grin hope your follicle monitoring is going okay and all is looking good for friday for you. ref. your "am I being insensitive" question about your dm, I don't think so at all. is there anyway you can say you have a friend who needs it (if you didn't want to say you wanted it), that way you can keep hold of it, until you can use it? oh and let us know how you get on in your exams.

beaky really glad the rash has improved...its horrible when random things flare up out of the blue like that. your comment about getting older made me smile, as time moves on, I seem to be getting this and that...all the time I'm thinking "I didn't have to put up with this shit when I was younger".

smidge hope your stimming is going okay, sounds like such a juggle (and memory test) to try and remember to take everything you need too.

so, we had our results consult at the fc today (to discuss ORT and SA results), and good news is, figures wise, they were very happy with what they were seeing in both tests...there were improvements in dh SA (from when he had it on the NHS 6 months ago), so looks like having him on the wellman tablets, did the trick. so we are still sitting in the "unexplained category", but at least there isn't anything glaring wrong, that we need to work on/improve. nurse did say she was happy with the my figures, and they looked much better than what she would expect for my age (39), so that makes me feel a bit better. now I just need to will the nhs to get a move on, and get us referred to the fc is super quick time (not holding my breath)

I'm too hot amd bloated to write much today. It's 36'c. Yuck.
Anyway, I had another dildocam and bloods yesterday. I have six follies still and five are a great size. Egg pick up is tomorrow morning. I'll keep you posted.

tiger good luck for your appointment today. Fingers crossed for some good start date news.

happy thinking of you How are you feeling? Do you continue to take the progesterone until otd? And any clue what you might do next?

beaky thanks for your advice. Haven't decided what to do next. Really want to keep going, possibly on next period. Doesn't help that my body has refused to ovulate this month so can't even predict when that will be. Sorry about the headaches. How are you feeling? When is your next nhs cycle due to start proper?

barking still thinking of you.
Hope you are being looked after? Hugs and to you.

grin yes I'm gearing myself up to ask the gp for a few blood tests. They should hopefully do the basics at least. I would be so about the cot. I'm unwed and haven't told my family I'm ttc but would still hope there might be a few things put aside just in case. Well done on the follie count. I've everything crossed for you for ec tomorrow.

lucie thanks, how's things? Any more news about your nhs cycle? Have you got an appointment lined up?

smidge if you've been DR before stims I reckon missing the odd sniff won't make the slightest difference. Good luck for your scan tomorrow!

clem thanks. Really glad your numbers look good. That must be good news for further treatment options. Do you know the wait times for nhs referral? And are you still considering the private option?

So I'm still trying to figure out my next steps. I'm trying to get booked in for an hsg. I found somewhere that can do the x ray in another city for 300 cheaper than my local place. My fc referred me there but didn't include any clinical info, so the x ray folk sent it back... My thinking is to do hsg and then try and go straight into a new treatment cycle, for either iui or ivf. I haven't decided which. At same time I'm still thinking of booking consult at London clinic in next few weeks, providing they will honour the show offer (not as easy as it sounds). I'm also pondering treatment in Czech as I've now heard of single women telling a few white lies to get treated there. I'm thinking of doing mini ivf and treatment seems really good value compared with the other options I've explored. So no clear plan for me at the moment. And I'm still pretty anxious about everything. But at least I'm starting to work on it.

happy How are you doing today? Hope you are doing as well as possible under the circumstances. Thinking of you

grin Glad your cycle is going well. Fx for the next few days! Are you strangely excited about tomorrow?

smidge Hope the stims are going well. Can you set alerts in your phone if you are worried about them? There should be an app for this shit! The icon would be that poo emojicon...

clem Great news on your appointment. Did you have him on anything other than the multivits? That is now quite a few Berries who have had some pretty good results from vitamins and supplements this year... It is heartening to see and long may it continue

sesame Which clinic are you leaning towards at the moment? I found your summaries really interesting, thanks for sharing...

Hello everyone else!

Happy, hope you are ok, have been thinking of you.

Sesame, we have our nhs appt a week Thursday. It's to go through all the forms and discuss treatment and hopefully get an idea of when we can start. I would like to do Feb / March ideally. You mentioned looking into Czech clinics. I know quite a few single ladies at the one I go to who have told a couple of little white lies. It's all been pretty straightforward I think. They also use mini IVF quite a bit. I think it's something silly like £800, excl meds.

Smidge, hope all is going well with the stimming.

Grin, good luck with egg collection!

Clem, brilliant news on your tests. How long is the NHS wait in your area?

Not much other news from me apart from that we have decided to go ahead with our next Czech IVF in Jan even if they tell us we can start NHS that month. We will try and defer it until Feb or March. We want to stick to our plan and try to get 5 blasts frozen so that if the NHS doesn't work then we can go straight into that and not have to go back to more egg collections. If the NHS does work then we would hopefully have 5 lovely blasts to try for a sibling later.

spare if it's iui next I will def stay where I am as would be so much more convenient. Else I'm still interested in your clinic if I can get things to line up. Thanks for your advice a wee while back. How far along are you now? Are you booked in for an early scan?

lucie I totally love that you have a plan b, c, d...! Tbh I'm tempted by your clinic, and that price is a bargain. Did I hear right that they will refund if no eggs are recovered? That would be worth a punt on a trip to Czech alone. I will have to investigate further and will probably feel more comfortable if I can get the travel to work out, as the options from my local airport are limited.

Thanks sesame and beaky for the good wishes for my appointment. It was a bit of an odd appointment in that I left not really sure what its purpose was, except that you have to be seen by the consultant before you are confirmed for IVF. The consultant wasn't great really, she started by asking about my cycle from 2013! (Obviously not looked at my notes properly!) We were kept waiting for 45 mins so were a bit grouchy (despite being the first appointment of the afternoon). So she reiterated an April start date but said they were confident they could bring it forward. I said I needed a degree of certainty to plan both professionally and personally and told her about the wedding etc and basically they have agreed provisionally to February. I will be on what she described as a mid luteal protocol which appears to be norethisterone (sp) from day 14, adding burserelin, and then stopping burserelin when stimming (which was different from my last protocol which continued it until EC). They confirmed all our results looked good and they are confident that I have a good chance (but my FC told me that last time). They didn't tell me what stims I would be having but my protocol also includes an 8 day course of antibiotics from day 7 of stims and then trigger with Pregnyl when ready. Then a lot more 2ww support with estrogen as well as bum bullets, asprin, and fragmin.

They didn't really say why they were offering this protocol except for my AMH, when I asked. They also said I had a good response last time and fertilisation rate was fine looking at only mature eggs. They said the chemical pg was a good sign but cant read too much in to it. Everything else all looking good.

So just a matter of waiting now. I need to check the calendar now and work out if Feb is any good for us - might be too late for a pre wedding cycle.

beaky hope you're doing ok my dear. When is your counseling session? How are you feeling about things at the moment?

Happy, hope you're doing ok.

clem good news on the results and fingers crossed you don't to wait too long.

sesame sounds like you have a few options to consider. Hope you can get your hsg in. Less expensive and invasive options certainly sound more attractive. Sounds as though the Czech clinics will not question too closely so definitely worth considering. I'm also feeling tempted by a new year cycle at a Czech clinic, as I'm having to wait so much longer for my NHS one.

lucie sounds sensible to make your plans to do another cycle - NHS cannot be relied on!

spare hope all is well with you - when's the scan?

grin best of luck with egg collection.

Feeling a bit flat after the appointment really. All we got out of it was a vague promise of an earlier start.

Tiger that sounds really interesting and fairly comprehensive, sorry you couldn't get them to commit to January though. Do you think you would have sufficient time to do a cycle before your wedding if you start in feb? Did they give you any info about why oestrogen in the luteal phase? I wonder what they use to suppress ovulation too. Overall I think it sounds quite similar to wild's protocol. I'm ok thanks for asking. Counselling is end of the month, I just want to get it all out in one go and be fixed but I know that doesn't work.

Sesame go for it with Prague. There's no valid reason they shouldn't treat you. Are you still on dhea etc? What are you leaning towards re iui/ivf? This is all such a headfuck eh.

I've just crunched the dates and ET would be 2 April with the wedding on 9 April.

I think we might just have to wait....it's hardly taking it easy the week before a wedding, which is hugely DIY. Bugger it.

Thanks beaky it's the NHS arm of wild's clinic so similar approach I think. I wish there was a fix for all this. Have been thinking of you.

Sesame, I'm a bit of an organiser so I like to have a plan in place! I'm pretty sure they don't charge if no eggs are collected. Flights are really cheap out there are the moment. They fly direct from Luton and Stansted or you can fly into Vienna which is 1.5hours away on bus or Prague which is 2.5 hours if that helps.

Tiger, I like the sound of your protocol, it sounds very much like the one I plan on doing next. Will you start Cetrotide when stimming to stop ov? Feb is not too far away if they can fit you in then.

seasame nhs referral (its all a bit of a dark art I think), saw doctor earlier, he sent off my funding request yesterday and reckons it could be 4 weeks before we hear back. really good to hear you are starting to work on your next steps (there is so much to juggle isn't there). as for private, yes, definatley, if this nhs funded one doesn't work. ..and we have specifically asked to have our nhs round, at the private fc, that if we do go private, we are most likely to use....just for some continuity.

spare I just had dh on wellman conception for men vitamins (think they only sell one). really happy his numbers have improved (and as much as he'd never admit it too me, he was gutted his figures weren't great in the first place, so well chuffed they are now).

lucie thanks, nhs wait in my area was said to be 6 months...however, we are being referred to a private fc who take nhs cases, and according to them, as soon as they get the referral/confirmation of funding being in place, then they pick up and run with it, at same pace as if you were a private patient (so its quicker). so far, its been 2 weeks since going to docs to ask to be referred, he has now sent funding request off to the CCG (and reckons it will be about 4 weeks till we hear back. I would hope referral would happen pretty soon after that...I think in my head (and it really is a wishful thinking thing at the mo), I am hoping we can start in Jan. feels like an age away, but with christmas in between, it will fly by.

tiger thanks, glad your appointment seemed to go well. hope you manage to get everything scheduled how you need too.

one thing I forgot to say, that came up in discussion at the fc yesterday, is that the nurse said I was getting close to being borderline PCOS, she reckoned nothing to worry about for the time being tho, as not pcos currently.

went back to the doctors today, to talk through the level 1 immunes that I had all the blood tests for recently. good news is, all but 1 came back fine, but there was one flagged (an antibody) as being higher that it should be. checking dr google, it seems this basically means my blood is more likely to clot and can cause miscarriage amongst other things, and ttc issues. doc has put me on a daily dose of aspirin, so hoping that has a positive effect.

one other thing, is the doctor did suggest we push forward and pay for an initial consultation with the fc (its a private one that takes nhs referrals), in order to speed things up and in light of the antibody results...at least that was we can start getting things underway, whilst waiting for the funding to be put in place.

[waves] to everyone else.

grin good luck for tomorrow!

Sesame thanks . A friend came round to keep me company today, and I'm glad she did as I wasn't coping at all this morning. It was a long round trip for her so I really appreciated it. Quite apart from my mental state I'm in quite a lot of pain and feeling totally exhausted. Took the dog to the park just for ten minutes and it was far too much, came home and collapsed on the sofa. Back is really hurting as well, keep switching the wheat bag from the cramps at the front to the pain in my back! Didn't get the back pain with the last two but apparently it's common. Just want it over with and desperately hoping it's quicker this time.
All the possible treatment options are so overwhelming, I hope you come to a decision you're happy with soon. Do you have a friend you can discuss it all with?

tiger it's so hard balancing life with ivf cycles, if you started in February would it definitely not be et earlier than April?
I agree you don't want it happening that close to the wedding, we did a diy one and it was fun but very full on.
Sorry you didn't feel like you got much out of the appointment, it's annoying when you're hoping for more and come out flat.

beaky is the counselling with the clinic? Are you going together or on your own? I've got a session tomorrow. Not really sure it's going to help, I can't imagine she's going to say anything that I haven't heard already. I think DH's cynical reaction to the counselling we had together yesterday is rubbing off on me. He said all it was was a chat and he just came out feeling worse. But I have to feel like I'm doing everything I can to help me cope rather than let go and be sucked under, and I know right now I'm not remotely coping so it's worth a try...

sesame tiger
Scan is booked for next Tuesday when I'll be 6ish weeks
I'm still in total denial and can't let myself believe it might be happening.
I was on the bus this morning and a pregnant woman got on, and I did my automatic turning away and blocking her from my view. I wonder if I will ever not recoil at the sight of bumps! I'm pretty conditioned to not let myself look at them after all this time

Evening Ladybros. Thank you all so much for asking after me. Been a bit up and down this week but I'm generally ok about it all. More 'hate this shit' and so fucking tired of it all rather than upset and emotional.
Grin all the very best for EC - let us know how you get on.
Tiger sorry the dates arent working out for you with IVF. Waiting is the worst but at least you have a lovely wedding to look forward to.
Barking I'm glad you had company today and I hope you get something out of your counselling session. Thinking of you
Been doing a lot of thinking/research this week. DH initially said he is keen to knock all treatment on the head and look in to adoption now. As despondent as I'm feeling at the moment I'm not quite there yet so he's agreed to keep on until next summer (that was always the plan anyway but I'll let him think it's his idea!). I've no idea when/if we'll get another NHS cycle (it's not an automatic entitlement but I can't see how they could refuse us) but it would be stupidity not to accept it provided that it'd be within a reasonable time frame (I've heard between 6-12 month wait! 6 months reasonable/12 no). But in the mean time we are looking in to egg/embryo donation in Czech. I've contacted a load of clinics but to be honest my head is spinning! Our main issue is finding the time to travel out there. I'm restricted to school holidays but we can't do Easter so that leaves us the half terms in Feb and May and the summer hols. Some of the clinics seem to think that would be realistic even if it means 2 trips and freezing sperm/eggs or embryos so that it all works out. Lots to think about though.
Hope everyone else is ok. Almost the weekend - will be having my first in over a month

Barking I can't imagine how awful this time is for you. I hope the counselling can help, even if it's just so that you feel listened to. Apparently it takes a few sessions before you can recognise the benefit you get from it. Massive hug. I'm going on my own, I did want to go together but actually now I just want to talk about how this affecting me selfish and that I'm angry and bitter but I don't want to be. Not sure it's fixable though!

Spare I'll be sending some berry positive vibes for your scan and will be around for handholding.

Grin best of luck for tomorrow (or now?!)

Clem all sounds good with your results and your GP sounds brilliant! Fx these things start to make a difference for you and your dh.

Tiger I hope you can get in a bit earlier so that you can have a cycle before the wedding. I totally wish we could fix things too

Sorry Happy x post. That sounds like a good plan, and very proactive with the Czech clinics, is there much of a waiting list? are you thinking donor embryo or egg/sperm? Would you look at doing anymore testing first?

Berries, anyone tried this treatment .
Parasitic worm 'increases fertility'
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34857022

Happy, glad that you are ok and thinking ahead. I didn't realise the wait was so long between NHS treatments! If that's the case we will probably have one go and then begin on our frosties. I can highly recommend my clinic for donor. It's what they specialise in and seem to have a huge success rate! If you wanted to do double donor you could get away with going for only 2 days so could fit it in around a weekend. If you wanted to use donor egg and dhs sperm you could go over for a visit on a weekend and he could leave a sample to freeze. That way you only need to make another 2 day trip for transfer so could possibly squeeze it in outside of school hols? There is a huge support network available for reprofit on fertility friends and also an amazing secret Facebook group where the ladies have so much experience of donor. The one thing I would say about using fresh donor eggs is that there is likely to be a 4-5 month wait whatever the clinic. There's also the option of frozen donor eggs which is a lot quicker as is double donor. If I can help you with anything the let me know.

Barking, glad you had company yesterday. Hang in there lovely, big hugs

Thanks Lucie. I'm not 100% certain on the wait between treatments at WFI. I'm only going on what I've read on forums and what the official WAG documentation says (max 6 months wait for 2nd cycle). DH has been trying to contact the clinic this week to clarify the situation but hasn't had any luck.
We did consider Reprofit for DE but the waiting time is no good for us. Several other clinics have got back to me to say they have no waiting times at all for fresh DE. Also, if we need to go over for the weekend then Prague would probably be more practical than Brno as we could fly out to Prague after school on Friday. The option of 2 trips with us freezing DHs sperm on the first visit is looking more practical. Spent hours researching and making notes last night. Lots to think about!

Oh ok that's good happy, I thought most had waiting times for fresh donor. Do you mind letting me know which ones can do it straight away just for future reference incase I need to go down that route at some point?