Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Of course. Of the clinics that have replied so far Unica, Arleta, Gynem and ReproGenesis have all said they have no waiting time for fresh DE. I'm still waiting for replies from quite a few others so I'll keep you posted. I'm leaning towards Gynem at the moment. I was most impressed with Unica's reply although the they are in Brno and I just think Prague would be easier for us.

Add PFC to that list. They've just got back to me.

Ah yes I have been in touch with Unica before for own egg and was impressed with them although quite a bit more expensive. I wouldn't bother with reprogenesis heard quite a few bad things about them.

I’ll be back later to comment properly, but I wanted to say that I got my referral sorted and HSG is booked in for Monday. I told a little white lie about my cycle day as I just wanted it done, and thought it would fit in with work better – and there’s zero chance I’m pg. Now I’ve just found out I’m spotting, on only day 13, since my post treatment bleed. I think it’s entirely possible that my period is on its way. This might also explain my anovulatory cycle. This happened in my first ever IVF, I had a period 2 weeks after the start of my failure bleed, I think because of the progesterone supplementation.

Not sure what I’m meant to do now. If I get my period, I think I might have to cancel the procedure. But I won’t know till tomorrow, and I’d have to let the hospital know during the weekend. Hate this shit.

argh sesame what a ballache. I guess just wait and see what happens. bloody bodies and their timing. Hate this shit indeed.

Sounds like some good options there happy. Defintely makes sense to have a back up so that you don't have to rely on the NHS slowly getting there with your next cycle with them. Enjoy your . I think I'll be having a glass by the fire over the weekend - am quite excited by the thought that it will be cold enough to get the wood burner going!

smidge I'm at the point where if I thought I could swallow a worm and get pregnant I'd do it now!! How's your cycle going?

barking I had terrible back pain after my chemical post IVF, which I guess was a mc of sorts as I was 5 weeks at the point I started bleeding. Hope it's letting up. Also hope your counselling session goes well later. Yeah, it would defintely be very close to the wedding as my protocol "mid luteal suboptimal protocol with norethisterone" is a long protocol. If my period arrives when my app says it will (famous last words) then it would be ET be either 30/31 March - I could literally be poas on my wedding day. Either way I'll defintely be in the 2ww. That's a headfuck I could do without!

I had a brainwave this morning - freezing any embryos would be an ideal solution. Popping them back after the wedding would be perfect! Rang the clinic to discuss, and they have advised that if I want to do that, splitting the cycle counts as two goes so that would be it for my NHS entitlement and they won't let me pay to freeze and FET and then do another fresh cycle on the NHS either. Seems pretty bloody mean to me. . The IVF coordinator actually said "I'm sure it will be fine, you could actually be pregnant, don't forget". Thanks for that. I could also not be pregnant or having another chemical or feeling like shit as result of a load of drugs, and have the delightful hormonal acne I got last time to add to the fun. Oh and I wouldn't be in this fucking predicament if they could manage their staffing properly and were treating me when they said they would.

beaky you're not angry and bitter. You're having a normal reaction to a hard time. Don't lose hope my lovely.

spare am keeping everything crossed for you

grin how was egg collection?

Weekend is almost here. DP has signed us up for some socialising tonight that I literally can't be arsed to do...I have become so boring! Then full on wedding mode tomorrow - flowers, shoe boutique, hair and chasing up various suppliers!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend ahead.

Happy that all sounds very promising, especially if you have to wait another 6 months on the NHS.

Sesame wtf! It's so frustrating when things go way off course. Would you be able to reschedule easily enough? Did you manage to get a consultation with one of the clinics from the show?

Tiger I've got my placard at the ready. What biffs. Honestly that's pretty poor saying if you froze that would be your second round. That's ridiculous. Grr on your behalf. Have you looked into doing a private round abroad or not? On a nicer note your weekend of wedding jobs sounds lovely! do you have a shoe style in mind yet?

Smidge if it was a guarantee id do it. shame how was your scan?

Grin how was ec? I was thinking of you this morning and confused myself about the time difference!

Barking I hope your counselling session was helpful. Hope you're getting lots of doggy cuddles at the mo.

I feel a bit like giving up. I don't have much faith that my next cycle will work and am very anxious about money for going private. I don't really know what to do but I feel like I want to take the pressure off. Headfuck. Hurry up counselling. Does anyone think it's worth speaking to the consultant again? I don't think there's anything else they can offer though. I am booked in for the scratch soon so maybe it might be worth a chat if they can fit me in.

Tiger that sounds really annoying. They class a freeze all and the subsequent FET as two separate cycles over here too, which makes the finances worse. They're changing the subsidies here on 1st Jan so although I'll have had the EC before Christmas, my FET the following Jan/Feb will not only be another cycle but a more expensive one at that. Grr. Oh, and the clinic are increasing their prices by 3% in Jan too (the fact they haven't increased them for 3 yrs doesn't really make me feel any better thankyou last from finance )

Anyway, just meant to say I sympathise!

I had my day 6/7 bloods and Dildocam yesterday. According to the nurse who called with my results, "it's clearly early days and AliG wants me to continue on the same doses, back on Monday for another check". I think they measured 2 follies over 10mm. (They only measure >10mm so I think there were others). Couldn't see anything much of the left ovary - possibly coz my bladder was full.... Despite having gone for a wee when I turned up - they did my bloods first but it can't have been more than 15 mins later. Ah well. I felt suitably chastised by the scanning lady

Happy I'm glad you're getting organised with a plan. My DH isn't open to considering donar eggs. I'm not really sure how I feel about it myself, and kind of trying not to, coz I don't think forcing MrSmidge down that route would make for a successful relationship down the track. So I think I just have to come to terms with this being our last attempt

*lady (not last).

Smidge fx for some good follie growth before Monday. How long will you stim for do you know? Yes it's no comfort that prices haven't risen in previous years when it's increasing now! My dh isn't too enamoured with the idea of donor eggs either, he is more a lets adopt person. I would rather have donor eggs but then neither is an easy choice.

sesame how annoying, and typical with it being over the weekend. Hope it stays away long enough.

tiger that would be perfect, and how frustrating that they won't be flexible in letting you pay for the fet. With private it costs a lot more to do it like that as well though, so at least there's some rare consistency. Little comfort though.
Would you consider delaying by a month so you were in the downregging stage over the wedding? Or would you put the whole thing off until afterwards so you could enjoy a few drinks?

beaky I'm with you on feelings of giving up. I can't face the thought of entering our fifth year of this shit. If adoption guaranteed us a child I'd quit now, but I know some authorities aren't even taking on couples to start the process for children 3 and under as there are so many approved couples who have been waiting over a year for a match and children are not being taken into care, or red tape is keeping them from being adopted. It's a huge myth that there are loads of children waiting to be adopted. Children over 5, in sibling groups and with special needs, yes. But I don't know if I can take that on.
I've been awake since 5 again. I still have nausea, which makes me wake up every morning thinking 'urgh, feel sick again - oh, but I'm pg! - shit, no I'm not'. The counselling yesterday did help, but although I've been crying a lot I'm still largely in the shock and numb stage of grief and the hysterical sobbing hasn't kicked in yet. I know there's a darker place I'm going to hit at some point and it terrifies me. The counsellor told me to cling on to the knowledge that I've got myself through it before and I can do it again. She said not to underestimate the accumulative effect of this shit building up over four years. What is manageable over two or three years becomes unsustainable over a longer period, and each new knock back, whether it's a failed cycle, a friend announcing a pg or this miscarriage, is aggravating an open wound. She likened it to running on a broken ankle.

Beaky I think my DH would go straight down the adoption route if it was up to him. I'm not against adoption as I'm don't believe its genetics that make a family. For me it's more the female thing of wanting to experience pregnancy and child birth and be there from the start of a child's life to witness all the mile stones. I think I'd miss out on those with adoption as you're highly unlikely to be matched with a child under 12 months. I also worry that Mr Happy has a rose tinted view of adoption. I think being a teacher I'm a little more familiar with the issues the can arise.

Very quiet in here this weekend, hope everyone's ok!

I was thinking that earlier....hope your having a good one beaky

Had my day 9/10 scan and blood test this morning. Nothing happening on the left ovary. literally - 2 tiny follicles

Well I thought I'd do an update all at one time.
I'm PUPO!
I had egg collection on Friday and they got four eggs. Three fertilised overnight (first time ever!). I don't know if it was due to a normal IVF (no ICSI), all the supplements DH and I were taking or just luck.
Got to the clinic today for transfer and two embryos had multiple nuclei so were not used and the third was a 3 day four cell blast that was put back in today.

woohoo to being PUPO grin sending you lots of positive vibes

smidge [hug] sorry things aren't going the way you need them too. xx

Sorry smidge, hopefully things will pick up over the next few days. My last couple of collections have been awful. Only 4 eggs over 2 collections but I got 3 of those to blast so you never know.

Grin, congrats on being pupo!

A thought just popped into my head! Normally when I have EC in Czech I am put to sleep. Does anyone know what the situation is on the NHS? I really don't fancy being awake for it!

smidge I'm so sorry you're disappointed, but quality over quantity. I only had two follicles at that size at that point in my last cycle, but we still ended up with 3 blastocysts, so it's definitely NOT all over. I'm going to continue pom poming furiously for you.

grin congrats on being pupo

sesame did the bleeding hold off for today?

I had my scan this morning. I held it together until the nurse was really lovely to me, then I started crying. Nothing left they could see, so fingers crossed for the hcg results tomorrow.

Smidge I sorry to hear you were disappointed with your scan. As others have said less follies may equal better quality. Everything crossed for you.
Yay to being PUPO Grin. Pom-pinning away for you over here in the chaise longer of limbo.
Lucie I've always just had sedation for EC. I don't mean to freak you out but I remember much more of my NHS EC than my private ones. It wasn't bad or painful though. More just drifting in and out of consciousness. I remember her asking me if I wanted more drugs at one point. I assume I said yes because the next thing I knew they were putting me back in the wheel chair. It really is nothing to worry about.

tiger really sorry your fc appointment wasn’t as helpful as you hoped. Interesting protocol, I also think it sounds a lot like lucie’s, halfway between a LP and SP. Sorry the fc won’t cooperate with the splitting the protocol, to fit round your wedding, it was an inspired idea. Hope you’re rising above all this shit and had a nice weekend full of lovely wedding stuff in the end?

beaky Not lined up a consult with the clinic from the show yet. I have questions I want to ask them first like why I have to fork out for a dildocam when I’ve already had like a zillion of then and have been working myself up to it… Not that I can compare, but I reckon counselling is much better on your own, from my experience it’s about the one totally selfish thing you can do, just to talk about yourself, and not have to worry about anyone else. Have you got more than one session lined up? Mulled and and to you!

lucie I think it’s unlikely your fc will let you stay awake for EC, it’s very rare for UK clinics not to use sedation. Thanks for the info re travel. Got a bit cross eyed looking at all the flight combinations. It’s 2 flights for me to get to Brno via London, though needing an overnight stay for one of the directions. It’s also 2 flights to get to Vienna, and there are about 3 flights a week to Prague. So on a good day, it’s one day’s travel, on a bad day it’s two. Much as I love living where I do, regional airports suck especially crappy regional airports that pretend to be international ones. This is why I keep doing round after round at my local fc which ain’t even that local. Give me a wang berries and tell me to get out of my comfort zone!

clem fingers crossed your nhs referral comes back quickly so you can get started with your free round. The borderline PCOS comment is interesting, I think there are various PCOS diets that you might like to investigate, including in it starts with the egg. Though if you’re ovulating normally, and don’t have symptoms, it might not be as helpful. It might mean an increased chance of a good egg haul for ivf, though your fc will want to be careful you don’t get OHSS.

barking about the scan today. , and for you too. During my mc, I was in the epu every few days until my test was negative. I was so thoroughly hacked off by all my pg symptoms, and the mc didn’t complete until 7+4. Your counselling appt sounded full of insight. Do you go back for another session?

spare good luck for your scan! Fx for some lovely news, and then you can look at the other pg’s and enjoy the excitement of being there yourself.

happy you are also one organised berry! Fx there’s a good fc amongst that lot. The stats for donor in these Czech clinics is really excellent.

smidge really sorry that one of your ovaries is not cooperating , all is not lost though, happy had a big haul from just the one side, and minx got pg with only one ovary. I liked the roundworm link by the way!

grin Your Puponess! Amazing! Am pompomming and doing all sorts for your embryo now. Time to get your mits on that cot!

So despite some random mid cycle spotting, af stayed away and I went for my hsg. It wasn’t bad news, but it wasn’t good news either. Apparently my tubes looked normal, but the dye didn’t spill out the ends tho did leave a nice puddle under my bum , probably due to a muscle spasm in my tubes. The radiologist wouldn’t tell me nada in the x-ray room, but faxed her report to my fc, and my own consultant called to let me know - reminding me he is actually a nice guy despite the fact he always has to break the bad news. Anyway, the result is I’ve used up a day’s leave plus over 400 quid for an inconclusive test and irradiated my few remaining eggs for nothing. My doc, thinks it’s 90% likely my tubes are open, but the only way to find out now is laparoscopy, and even then my tubes might still refuse to cooperate. I’m not prepared to go down the lap route, so there isn’t much reason to take things further.

So in the end I asked if I could try another round of IVF! Straight away if possible. God help me! I should be trying to plot a way of getting off the IVF hamster wheel, but I’m just not ready to give up yet. I’m wondering one thing though. Berries, can I ask your opinion, do you think my hsg would double up as a scratch? Or do you think my best chance would be to book in for a separate one?

Morning lady bros.

sesame it's a bit annoying that the hsg was inconclusive, but hopefully nothing to worry about. So you've gone for IVF at your current clinic? I can't even begin to contemplate giving up so I don't blame you for wanting to try again! I think you would need a separate scratch - don't think the hsg has the same function. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about IVF. Options are: delay till after the wedding; get started as soon as possible and be PUPO at our wedding; start the month before and be in the middle of treatment (if I can make it work with scan dates etc), or freeze all and lose my second funded go if it doesn't work. Only the first and last options will mean we can have a honeymoon. Aaaarrggh, all of this complication because of their failure to recruit properly. I should have been starting now, 6 months after being referred.

The wedding stuff is proving the perfect distraction though - had a lovely meeting with the florist on Sat and also had a jeweller design my ring, am very excited about that.

Congrats on being PUPO grin! Is this the first time? Wishing you lots of luck.

I had GA for egg collection lucie and it is the same at my next FC.

I hope this is all over swiftly for you barking. . Hang in there.

Sorry that your numbers are not what you hoped smidge but defintely echo the others about quality over quantity. I also had a left ovary that did nothing - apparently it's quite common for the ovary that you last ovulated from to be less active (can't remember who told me that).

happy any progress with the decision on DE clinics?

beaky how are you? Money worries are so stressful - I remember finding it tough when we took on our mega house project. It's bloody unfair that on top of all the ttc shit we have to fork out for the experience too. I think the pressure doesn't go away until all the TTC shite is over, but I hope you can find a way to feel less stressed in the mean time. Don't give up . Hope your counseling session is useful.

Did you get your level one immunes back? I guess you would want your next cycle to take the results into account.

Ah, you asked about shoes...thinking these ones: shoes

Not sure about doing a round abroad, tempting but will be so busy at work the time off might be difficult.

seasame thanks, am chasing the CCG to try and get a rough date from them, for the IFR decision whilst at the same time, trying not to annoy them so much, they chuck me in the funding denied pile. I assume "it starts with an egg" is a book? was that the robert winston one? as for whether I am ovulating normally, I'm not sure...was put on clomid due to an anovulatory cycle (obviously thats only 1 cycle they base that assumption on. glad you've decided to give IVF another go...I always relax when I make a decision (one way or another), I just do my own head in, with my own indecision sometimes...

tiger glad all your wedding plans are giving you a lovely distraction to all this crap.

just checked online, is that book by rebecca fett?

Grin hooray to being pupo!! I've got my pom-poms going for you. When's otd?

Smidge sorry the scan didn't show a better result, but honestly I really do think it's quality not quantity. Everything crossed for you. When are you back in next?

Tiger oooo! I love a good shoe. I'm glad you have a pleasant distraction from this shit anyway. I really hope they can bring you forward a month. Would you speak to the head of the clinic about it? I'm waiting to hear if I can have a copy of my level 1 results, back in for a scratch next Monday and counselling as well.

Sesame how strange that it's inconclusive. So if it didn't come out of your tubes it would suggest they are blocked, is that not what they thought? When will you start your next round? How are you feeling about everything now?

Lucie I have sedation for ec and so am concious of sorts. It's not the nicest thing but it's fine.

Clem fx you hear back soon, limbo is the worst place to be. Do you have any pcos symptoms?

Happy have you thought about having recurrent implantation failure tests? It might give you some further info.

Barking I hope your appointment gives you some answers today.

Hope everyone else is ok.