Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Smidge I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle, massive hug. I don't think they would expect you fly back and I certainly wouldn't expect anyone in my family to do that. If it's a little hour or so type flight fine, but that's all. Plus you're in the middle of cycle which is a priority. Everything crossed for you on that front.

Barking I'm thinking of you regularly and really really hoping everything is working out. I bet your house looks immaculate! And what a happy coincidence that you've recently painted in some rooms too!

clem is this appointment for ivf or just to go through your results? Make sure they fully explain what the results mean and how these things can impact (if there's anything that comes up) on ttc and what you can do to help yourselves etc (again if anything). When is it? Best of berry luck!

I am covered in paint and sick of DIY!! Can't wait to get home to a bath.

Smidge I'm so very sorry about your uncle. Sending lots of love

I've ruled out testing tomorrow Ladybros. I really can't face it and DH is working. I'd rather do it when we are together. HATE THIS SHIT!

Sesame sorry, I missed your post earlier! Yeah I will go with Gennet if I need to they have said they can do the hysteroscopy and a scratch at the same time if I want. I can't afford to do the hysteroscopy before my NHS round unfortunately. They've asked for more info on my allergies and suggested some other immunes testing and also karyotyping (sp?!) I can't remember the others but I can send you the list if you like? I want to try and get those done before The NHS round if poss. I know what you mean about getting on with things, I really feel extra pressure as my or is so low.

Happy big hug for you. Still willing your little embie on and I really hope you get a bfp. I don't blame you for waiting though.

Sending strength for another week then Happy .

Beaky thanks. I slept better last night than I have done for 2 weeks, and I woke up without feeling nauseous. Feels like my symptoms have vanished overnight. I'm 6w today by dates and that's when the other two stopped growing. It's a total head fuck.

barking hope you are holding up okay, totally understand why its a head fuck...sending you a big hug. xx can I ask...when is your next checkup? would be good if its soon, in order to put your mind at rest. can't remember where you are in the UK, but in the Midlands, there is a fertility clinic that offers "dating and reassurance" scans from 6 weeks (sorry if you are aware of this, or if its not appropriate for you. it was one of the ones I met at the fertility exhibition we went too in Oct, and they talked to us about this (I didn't even know that service existed) just thought I'd mention, in case you weren't aware. xx

barking/seasame thanks for your advice, ref. my opp.

beaky the appointment is just to go through the ORT and SA tests we had recently (although we have asked the GP to refer us to this fertility clinic for out funded NHS try, as they take NHS patients too (apparently this will hopefully speed things up, once the referral goes from the GP (not hopeful it will happen this year tho). app is on wed next week, thanks for the advice on what to ask them. x

happy good on you for holding off on testing

hi to everyone else. [waves]

Hmm. I've had an allergic reaction to something tonight, all over my face, neck, arms and back. It happened last night but not as bad, wtf is going on I've never been allergic to anything until recently!

Barking, thinking of you and hopping everything is ok.

*hoping, not hopping.

barking I'm still willing on your little embryo. Keep hanging on and we'll be with you all the way up to your scan.

clem hey, glad things are moving forward. Do you think you'll go back on the clomid, or will you wait for your appt first?

happy when you are ready to test we will be here for you. Absolutely everything is crossed still.

beaky I'm sorry about the nasty rash. Perhaps if you were diy-ing and got something on your hands then rubbed your face? I'm sending you some virtual calming antihistamine vibes... I'm sure all the hard work on the house will pay off. Hope you got some chance to relax too?

I wrote a woe is me post last night but didn't stick it up. This weekend has been really hard. I've been on my own a lot and haven't really been coping. My wtf appointment at the fc is tomorrow too. But I did manage at least to go running this morning. First time out for 4 weeks. It was tough but I'm glad I went out.

Aw Sesame big big hug. This is just so hard so it's perfectly understandable to feel like you do. Keep going, that's all we can do.
Ill be thinking of you at your wtf appointment tomorrow - do you have anything in mind you want to ask them to do now? Do let us know how you get on. And well done for going for a run! Mine are few and far between but I'm hanging in there. Hugs x

Hugs sesame, I think you're so strong to be going through this shit on your own .
Hope the appointment tomorrow is useful.

I'm spotting. Was just when I wiped but on the pad now as well. Fucking hate this shit. Going to call gp/epu tomorrow.

barking

barking thinking of you. Hoping it's nothing to worry about and keeping everything crossed.

Huge hug for you sesame. This shit is so hard, but we are here for you, and feel free to post the woe is me posts if and when you need to. Hope the appointment is useful today. I think the IUI approach sounds attractive.

beaky that rash sounds nasty. Any ideas on what has caused it? Hope it has gone down - did you get any other symptoms? I used to be a very allergic person - animals, hayfever, washing powder but I mostly grew out of them. Still struggle with cats, rabbits and horses though! How's the house coming along - when do you move in?

So sorry to hear about your uncle smidge, it must be hard being away from family at times like this, but you're right to focus on your cycle and the future. Big hug.

happy how are you feeling? Still keeping everything crossed for you.

clem thanks for the list of tests. Might see if I can wangle them out of my GP too. Worth a try. I would just make sure you get copies of your results and the specifics as being told 'normal' can mean a wealth of things. Also understanding timescales as others have said - I think I might have gone elsewhere if my FC had told me it was an 8 monthas wait.

lucie my FC had the same approach on my first cycle. Very ridged e.g scans following DR were only on Thursdays and EC only on Mon/wed/fri! Success rates were slightly above average.

I had a nice weekend - shopping for the dress and think I've found it! Back on the early train to London this morning though and would rather still be in bed. FC appointment on Thurs, will hopefully give some clues about the next cycle plans.

beaky sorry to hear you've reacted to something...not quite an allergic reaction, but I have had a horrible flare up of ezcema over the past few months (I normally don't suffer too badly), and it drives me crazy. not sure if clomid caused/exasterbated it.

barking thinking of you.

seasame I think going back onto the clomid all depends on what my ovarian reserve tests/AMH results come back like on Wed. I think I'll ask them in the meeting, whether they would advise it, in light of my results. sorry you have been feeling so down, know that we are all here, if you need to vent.

tiger glad the list seems useful...and like I think I siad in my post, just ask your GP...worst they can say is no. I think the way I phrased it, was "I was advised to get these tests done by a friend, who has had fertility issues for many years". ref. copies of my results, already have all my fertility results from the first dealings with the NHS when they put me on clomid, and I have also just requested a copy of the results from all those blood tests. they do charge £10 each time I ask for something, but I'll happily pay that, to get a copy of them.

Oh Barking I hope you can get in to see someone asap. Hope you managed to get some sleep.

Tiger I'm thrilled you've found the dress. So good to have something tangible to look forward to.

Thanks everyone for your support and understanding. IVF impacts so many things but not being able to head home to family wasn't one I'd considered.

sesame this is a great place for woe is me posts. As long as we can all take it in turns

Oh beaky I hope the rash is going down. I seem to be getting little patches of eczema and scaly dry scalp at my hairline (and eyebrows ) which I never used to. Hurumph. Is it age? Immune system going into overdrive (rejecting embryo not enough..?!) or a reaction to something? Answers on a postcard please...

barking thank you for your comments. I'm thinking of you. Did you manage to get an appointment at the epu? How did you get on?

beaky thank you, to you too. It's been an exhausting day. The long drive to the fc in horrid weather didn't help. And I've had that sinking feeling in my stomach too. How are you getting on? Has the rash got any better?

tiger thank you for your comments. Really glad to hear you found the dress. Nice to hear some good news on here.

happy thinking of you. Have you made a new plan to test or will you hold out till otd do you think?

clem thanks, my fc will do something resembling that list of tests you got for close to a grand. Think you did a good job getting those from your gp.

smidge at taking it on turns to be woeful! What stage are you at now? Have you started stims already? I had almost 2 weeks of lovely normal skin with my bfn, but now I'm back on dhea my horrible hormonal spots have returned.

Back from my wtf appointment. No donor eggs forced on me this time. I guess they've given up. Not much new to report this time. No way of telling why embryo didn't implant. I can do more tests if I want (eg 'level 1' immunes/mc), though they don't think it will make a difference. They don't think a hysteroscopy will make a difference. If I want iui instead of ivf they will do it. They agreed to refer me for an hsg if I want, though don't agree it's a superior test. If I want to do more ivf they will do it. They are not keen to drop the drugs dose/do minimal stims - they might make some compromise if I ask for it, but I suspect it would not be a simple process to get them to amend my protocol.

Evening Ladybros. Beaky I hope your allergy has calmed down. I'm always having mystery reactions to things so I feel your pain. I woke up on my wedding day with a massively swollen right eye
Smidge I've suffered terribly with eczema in my hairline and eyebrows. Do you have Lush shops with you? If so get the Soak n Float shampoo bar. Only thing to clear mine and I've had it since I was a child. Otherwise I've heard the Body Shop Ginger shampoo is good too.
Sesame I'm sorry you didn't get more answers at your appt. It's so frustrating when there's no apparent answer
Barking if you're lurking we are all thinking of you
Ladies I'm pretty much out of this cycle. I had a tiny bit of spotting late Saturday along with some cramps. I pimped yesterday morning because I couldn't be doing with the 'could it possibly implantation?' headfuck. Of course BFN. I've had a touch more spotting today but it's hardly anything. I wish I'd just hurry up and bleed properly so I can stop the meds and move on. I had a good cry straight after testing but other than that I feel ok about it. I'm just so sick of all this and pretty much ready to move on to something else. I'm convinced my eggs are not going to work for us so I need to try something different now.

I should wish for things more often - actual red blood now. I can stop taking the meds now, right? I've never bled before OTD in the past. At least it's not prolonging the agony!

Aw Happy I'm so sorry it was bfn. Gutted for you. Did you get any frosties with this round? big hug. Have you looked into doing donor eggs and have you seen anywhere in particular?

Sesame so not a particularly helpful appointed then. Hmm. Have you decided what to do? Fwiw I reckon take a list of the level 1 tests to the GP and explain you're looking to have them done before you decide whether to have treatment and if you get a good one they may well do them. I've always found the younger female Drs are quite sympathetic (stereotypical I know, but it's been true for me) and have done the additional/repeat tests I've asked for and I've usually just said we were trying to decide whether it was worth going ahead with treatment. They did mine really quickly too and printed off the results for me to collect. Big hug to you.

Barking thinking of you

Tiger I'm so pleased you've found the dress, have you sorted much else now?

Smidge how are you getting on? Have you started stimming yet?

clem best of luck for your appointment, I hope it's all great news. Fx you can move on to ivf ASAP.

Thanks everyone for the info - I've never had allergies until recently. It went away gradually and was totally gone this morning, it must be paint I think, there's nothing else different. Smidge for me I think it's age! I feel like I'm falling apart. I've been diagnosed with asthma recently too

happy I'm so sorry
This shit stinks.

Stinks over here too. Scan this afternoon (at the private clinic as epu couldn't see me before Wednesday) showed not what we wanted to see.
Cramps have started. Looks like I've got some more pain ahead. I've called in sick for the rest of this week.
What the fuck did we do to deserve this?

Barking and happy, my heart is breaking for you both. I'm so so sorry

Big fat hairy bollocks to all this crap.

barking that's so fucking unfair. I'm so so sorry for you. For you both.

happy I'm so sorry for you both. Terrible news. I was really hoping this would be finally it for you.

Life, stop being so fucking unfair! We all deserve better than this. When are we going to get some more good news on this thread?

barking & happy so sorry to hear its bad news, so, shitty and unfair for you both. hate this shit for us all. xx

Hi everyone

It will take me a bit to catch up so here goes:

Smidge I am sorry to hear about your uncle.

Barking & Happy I am also sorry to hear that you both have had bad news as well.
for both of you

Tiger Once the dress has been found everything else is a piece of cake!

Sesame Sounds like a massive information overload. I like the idea of taking the list of tests to the doctor. I think I will do the same. I have had most done already but having another won't hurt.

I know I have missed people but I hope you are all well.

Had another dildocam yesterday and have another tomorrow. So far I have six follicles with four sitting on or just below 12mm which is about normal for me. Egg collection is scheduled for Friday so fingers crossed.
I will admit to being envious of the 'free' NHS cycles. I know ours are subsidised but im still out of pocked a few $1000 every cycle. I hate having to pay for something that technically should be free.

So can you tell me if I am being insensitive? My DM has had a cot that she has kept for all my nieces and nephews (even in the gaps between the births). All of a sudden she is giving it away as she has no use for it anymore. She kept it for three years between births. I know I am the only one who hasn't had children but it's bad enough that I think she treats me like a child (recent epiphany - I haven't had children so therefore I am still a child in her eyes). Oh she has invited herself to my place for a weeks holiday. One week after we move house too. Joy.

Anyway, thanks for the good wishes about exams. I find out my marks in two weeks.