Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

spare thanks for that. I'd guessed it was something like that...but just couldn't work out what the acronym stood for

Just popping on quickly to say that clem if you're anywhere near stourbridge or barnt green in the midlands then PM me and I'll send you details of my acu lady. she is part of the zita west network, which is a good way to choose someone, by looking for accredited practitioners.

tiger fab thanks for that, I don't think barnt green is that far away from me...and stourbridge is doable too. pming you now. x

beaky Ahh the wonders of facebook. I find that when you reach a certain age it seems that is all people post is updates on pregnancy, babies and children. I retaliate by posting numerous pictures of my cats and pugs.

tiger I hope that today is better then the past few.

seasame I am sorry to hear about your BFN. There is nothing I can really say but here

I wish we had exhibitions here. We have nothing like it. It would be a great way to see what is on offer. All we can do it rely on the internet.

barking I am glad to hear (read?) that everything is ok there are no major dramas so far.

spare Congratulations!!

happy Well anything involving Jodie Marsh is pretty tacky and what I just read does not surprise me in the slightest.

I am sure I have missed people so I apologise and say hi.

Two exams down one to go.

I started injections this morning. Im still on 175 of Gonal-F. I was hoping they would increase it but she said no. Egg pick up is scheduled for the 20th so fingers crossed.

If this cycle fails then we are changing clinics and will start looking into donor embryos. I've also decided to stop all fertility treatments at age 37. If I am not pregnant by January 2017 then that is it. I think I need to set myself a limit otherwise I woud just keep trying. If I keep telling myself I have a year it won't be as hard to stop. In case you are wondering about it all IVF decisions are mine according to DH - Im the one having to undergo everything so I can choose what happens when.

Anyway, that's my study break over. Back to memorising drugs and doing drug calculations.

Oh Spare that's wonderful, congratulations xx

barking hang on in there, you're doing well.

I've been having a bit of a wibble - I'm waiting for surgery on my ovarian cyst and frozen pelvis, then it's all systems go for IVF. So I've been spending a long time pondering IVF, and I just cannot imagine dealing with all the needles.

I'm scared of needles. I can cope with other people injecting me, but the thought of doing it myself fills me with utter terror. Can someone please tell me how you cope? Do they teach you how to get over it? They must be used to people freaking out over it...?

Afternoon Ladybros!
Ungoog injecting yourself feels like a massive thing at the start of IVF and I can remember being absolutely petrified as it wasn't something I ever imagined myself being able to do. But the thought is honestly far, far worse than the reality. A quick calculation tells me I've injected over 90 times now - and there's no way anyone would do that to themselves if it was that bad now would they?!? You will be absolutely fine once you get going - it's probably the easiest part of IVF.
Grin I think it's a very good idea to have an end point in mind. We decided earlier this year that we won't carry on past next summer and we also won't pay for any more treatment with my own eggs. Your DH sounds similar to mine. Mr Happy would be fine with stopping now and heading down the adoption route - but I'm not done yet.
Barking and Spare how are you both doing?
Well ladies I'm PUPO for the 4th time with embies no 6 & 7. Quality wasn't as good as we had in the past which I'm a bit disappointed about but there's no point in stressing about that. Went back to work on Friday for first time since EC (would've gone in sooner but was floored by a mammoth migraine). Was chatting to some of my colleagues who know about my treatment as they've had IVF themselves. They made me feel really bad when I said I was planning on working as normal during the 2WW. They basically said I should at least be off until Wednesday. In the past I have taken 2 days off after ET but that was mainly due to the timing. What do you all do? I'm planning on taking it as easy as possible and I'm feeling ubër chilled anyway as I've now been off for almost 2 weeks because of half term. I just think if I take any more time off then I'll be ultra stressed trying to catch up when I go back.
Hope everyone else is ok. Apologies if I missed anything, I can't read back any further without losing all that I've written.I'm off to lie down and fall asleep within 30 seconds listen to my Zita West implantation track (that I've only ever heard the first 30 seconds of due to aforementioned inability to stay awake!)

clem thanks for the advice. Great news on the follie count that's def a good starting point.

googs we've all been there re needles. You can and will be able to cope. You just don't know that yet. They are very thin short needles that go into the belly fat where there aren't so many nerves or blood vessels. And if you are worried you could even numb with ice before you start.

spare how are you feeling today? Have you got any symptoms?

tiger aw poor t-dog I want a family to share my life with That. These days I get at all kinds of families, not just tots, could be a colleague going to daughter's graduation, or my nephew playing the fiddle, all the things I poss won't don't have.

beaky I'm bringing fresh coffee into the wigwam, I've had 2 cups today after weeks on decaff tea. Mind I also need ibuprofen and a hottie as af is here too. I'm not allowed treatment in Czech, so will investigate the more accepting countries. I would love to adopt but that would also be v difficult in my current situation, so if own eggs doesn't work out, donor eggs would be a more likely route for me.

grin thanks, my limit was meant to be 3 cycles and turning 40, by which time I was told success rates were meant to plummet. But I've gone well past that now as in trying to come to terms with letting go I realised I wasn't ready to give up. Fx for some good follie growth.

barking, thanks, try not to beat yourself up about the extra 2 weeks of support drugs, and I reckon your body will probably be a lot healthier at least without having to have gone through stims first. Just try to remember you are pg now and each day you stay pg brings you one step closer to winning an actual baby. Hang on sweetie.

happy woo hoo for being pupo! A blast is a blast - an embryologist I spoke to today said that grading is only important to compare each embryo to each other and pick the best ones to transfer. But it's only one snapshot in time and won't necessarily tell you what will happen after. I wouldn't worry about going into work after et, I think on one cycle I even had transfer am and went to work pm. That was the cycle I got pg. I found it was better to take time off in the second week of 2ww as that's when I went doolaly that helped me to adjust to the outcome.

Well that's me on the tube after the fertility show. It was a really good day and I'm so glad I went. I was really nervous before I went in as well. I'm bit wired from all the information now tbh and I have a lot to take in. I also have a lot to share, but will probably have to post more tomorrow.

I also picked up this stress ball!

seasame loving the stress ball...we came away with: numerous bags of jelly babies, various pens, and a lovely sperm shaped keyring (given we aren't currently telling anyone whats going on, I think I'll not be putting it on my keys any time soon

Yo ladybros. I've been tasting wine and choosing cocktails for our wedding today - we'll be having a cocktail hour! Excited. I am glad we're planning the wedding - it is a lovely distraction sometimes. Just need to sort the dress!

Ungoog I completely understand where you are coming from and I felt the same - I used to be petrified of needles - fainting during blood tests and at school immunisations, that sort of thing! I have to say that, I found giving myself the injections much better than having them done to me. Once I'd got the technique I actually found it quite satisfying! It's nowhere near as bad as it sounds. Big hug to you as this pre ivf stage is hard - lots if soul searching and and a big leap from TTC into the medicalised world of ivf. I struggled with it.

happy I really don't think a few days off will make much difference - just take it as easy as you can and feel you need to. I took a lot of time off for ivf last time, and this time I plan to take the minimum and just carry on as normal. Everything crossed for you - when is otd?

Glad the fertility show was useful sesame. Look forward to hearing more. Love the stressball!

Good luck with your final exam grin.

Hope beakypup is feeling better beaky. Hope you've had a good weekend - seems like you've been having a tough time of it lately, big hugs from me. My appointment is 19 Nov, so a week on Thurs. Slowly coming round...I just really hope I can do my next cycle in Jan/Feb. I keep thinking about adoption too - what if my family is already out there somewhere, waiting for us....

Happy I wouldn't worry about time off either, but if you would rather be in work than at home worrying about getting caught up, that sounds like the best choice.

Sesame the fertility show sounds like it was good, love the stress ball! Looking forward to hearing about it when you get time. Boo to Prague for not treating you. I was always interested in donor eggs before adoption, dh is not so keen though.

Tiger yes about the having a family thing rather than the baby thing. I got really upset about an advert today which started "this is where the picture of your children would go". The wine and cocktail tasting sounds lovely and a cocktail hour Nice! Glad you've had a good weekend anyway. Beakypup has been fine today now the fireworks have stopped. How is tigerpup? I am crossing everything you can start your ivf in January, you've been waiting for so long to get going again

Ungoog yep they teach you and I do find having the control myself is better. I've done quite a few injections now and they get easier every time. I was going to let dh do one but I couldn't do it in the end! One of our lovely berries kindly send me a vid when I first started injecting as a guide, and we are all here if you have any questions and to bolster you up when you need it!

Grin good luck! Nearly done exam wise, you'll feel amazing after that I reckon!

Clem imagine walking round with a sperm key ring!

Barking and Spare hope you're both doing ok.

Smidge I hope the sniffing is going ok!

Dh is just back from the funeral, so sad, I had a few tears when he told me about it. Af rocked up today to so I'll be ringing the clinic to book in for a scratch tomorrow. It seems quite early but actually Christmas isn't too far off now! Sorry berries but I love Christmas

Love the stressball! I've been thinking of getting one for work to play with... don't think I'll get one of those though!!

Thank you all for the supportive words about injections. Made me cry. I'm hormonal today - AF arrived and my cyst is kicking off, aaargh.

Hope everyone is ok and had a good weekend.

clem aw now I'm jealous of your key ring!

tiger love the sound of the cocktail hour. Glad the wedding planning is going well. I really hope they say you can get going in January.

googs the stress ball is NOT going on my desk at work! I don't want to be outed as a mn-er!

beaky donor is a massive leap but I wonder if perhaps your dh could see or speak to parents of donor conceived children this could change? Eg yesterday Ben of your ivf journey gave a short talk about how after failed 4x iui and 2x own egg ivf in uk, they went abroad to lucie's clinic and wife conceived at 41 on 1st donor egg cycle. He even put a photo of his cute 2yo girl on the screen. I usually don't like seeing random people's ivf babies cos I think that's all very well for them - but with donor it does at least seem more achievable. Oh and the guy's wife couldn't make the show cos she's now 8m pg with a fet from same cycle. I do know however this must be a dream ivf cycle, and things don't necessarily turn out like that. And of course that doesn't take anything away from adoption as an amazing route to parenthood too.

seasame I think I actually chucked it in the stuff I took too the charity shop...oh and I forgot, they also gave us a nice linen shopping bag with fertility written all over the outside of it...I'm all for saving the planet, just not at the expense of outing us

question for all you ladies who use internet cheapy ovulations tests....last month was the first month I started using these...after having a bit of a de clutter, I found some tesco ones and clearblue ones I'd had for a little while.

just to use the tesco/clearblue ones up, I thought I'd check with these, at the same time as using the internet cheapy ones (one step).

thing is, I never got a positive test with the one step ones (I did with the others).

so my question is...what are your opinions on the internet cheapy ovulation tests...? are they reliable? okay, so that was 2 questions...

Nutrition - I chatted to an independent nutritionist at the vitabiotics stand and asked her which supplements she recommends specifically for vegetarians. 1. She said Omega 3, opti 3 is all veggie - but pricey (made from algae) and said veggies should take around 500 units of DHA - so higher than a standard Omega 3 capsule (I'm already taking from a fishy source naughty). 2. She recommended a higher dose of Vit D for best outcome for baby, as I think she said a Netherlands study had a good results with 4000IU (pregnacare contains 600IU). She recommended Dlux spray - the higher dose 3000IU one - for easy absorption. 3. Lastly she said I should get my B12 tested by my GP as this is an important micro-nutrient which veggies can be deficient in. I don't know the recommended dose.

I've emailed her for a more detailed factsheet on fertility diet information. I can share her name and contact details if anyone is interested (practice in London and Surrey).

Clem I always used clearblue digis as they were really quite accurate. I've never used Internet cheapies but sure some other berries can advise.

Sesame that sounds interesting, what is Dlux please? Read it wrong at first and imagined you spraying dulux paint on yourself bizarre Did you speak to anyone about DOR/poor response etc?

I have booked in for the scratch, it's straight after my counselling session but it had to be done that day. The nurse also told me the rest of my bloods were fine so there's nothing else to try which I found weirdly upsetting. Then I had to go to a massive long meeting with an unexpected bump and the owner really liked to talk about it. Plus a member of staff had their 12 week scan today and brought scan pics back. Shoot me now.

Going home to get my head sorted.

Just a quick hi to everyone before I catch up properly later

Happy, hope all is well in your pupo state. I wouldn't worry about going back to work. I intend to do the same as I drove myself crazy at home on my own last time and started testing early. I would rather be busy and try not to think about it all.

Sesame, the fertility show sounds brill! I would also be interested to know if you spoke about DOR? My clinic have an excellent success rate with donor egg if anyone is thinking of that route. They also do double donor which is very cheap and has around 70-80% success rate.

quick for beaky and sesame. You two are super supportive and lovely berries and don't you forget it. Everyone's allowed a bad day.

and congrats spare and pupo happy :)

clem I narrowly avoided taking home canvas bags for the same reason. Can't help with the pee sticks I'm afraid.

nolly aw cheers

beaky dlux I spent a lot of today on a train, writing post after post on my phone ready to upload. All the posts are also in bits as I've been using my notes app, which is only meant for short things. There's now so much material it will take a bit of effort to get it all posted. Really sorry that you've had to deal with all this crap today. More ?

lucie high five

Nolly thank you and to you too. How are you getting on? Still waiting to start?

Sesame thanks. It sounds as though the show was really helpful then, have you decided what you are going to do next?

starting after christmas after an initial balls-up where they told me I had to start on the day of my appointment back in Oct. The idiots. Anyway, day 2 scan on the 29th or thereabouts.

Donor conception network - I had a really good chat with a single parent of double donor conceived children. I think I already recommended the resources on their website on here. They offer a great deal of support to anyone thinking about or going through treatment with donor egg or sperm, including workshops and a buddy system where you can get paired with someone who's been through the same as you, but come out the other side. She also shared their list of UK clinics with short egg donation waiting lists - just ask if you would like to see it.

The lady I spoke to also shared a bit of her personal experience - 3x own egg ivf, followed my mc's, was told it was age related and moved onto donor egg, got pg but this unfortunately was followed by more mc's. She suggested that before I spend more £ on treatment, I should get the level 1 mc tests, either by asking gp or going private. This is her list: thyroid (tsh must be between 1&2); clotting panel (aps, ac, mthfr, factor v leiden etc.); autoimmune (anti nuclear antibodies, rheumatoid factor); uterine (no fibroids, polyps etc.), poss hysteroscopy.

Care - they had a very good show offer on - offering a free full length consultation plus 100 off treatment. Happy to pass on my voucher to anyone who wants it (it can't be used retrospectively - sorry barking). Has to be booked by end of the year I think.

They also appear to be very slick on the egg donor side of the business which sounds pretty lucrative for them, with short waiting lists and friendly staff.

They gave me a free mini consult. This unfortunately is where things went downhill. It didn't help that the doc didn't bother to introduce herself, or tell me which clinic she was from (in retrospect probably a good thing).

Upon hearing my age and ovarian reserve she immediately told me that 90% of my eggs are abnormal, I have

sesame just wanted to give you a . That woman sounds completely without compassion and I don't see how she can possibly give such a diagnosis based purely on age and amh!
I would agree with the testing before further treatment though. But then I'm biased as they found lots wrong with me. With the wonderful benefit of hindsight it's possible that had I done all these tests 4 years ago, or at least after a year of trying, I might have actually kept hold of my clomid baby, or my iui baby. But then all these tests and treatments could be the scam Prof Winston says they are and this bfp might not get any further than the last 2, so too early to say.

Guys - a buzzing stand. I met their medical director who was totally at home chatting to potential patients in this environment and said he has been at the show every year since the show began. His advice was short and sweet and very clear. He did not recommend own egg at all for me. He told me he thought that no individual protocol would change the outcome for DOR. People think that it does, but that's because it's the last try that is the successful one. Nor would any protocol change the no. of eggs (I'm inclined to agree as that's been my experience too). Given the numbers I've been getting are so low, he did suggest I might at least save some money by using less stims (eg 150IU), which would cost less and be unlikely to influence the outcome.