Strapping on our lady balls and going menkul because we HATE THIS SHIT!! The Berries: a lovely bunch of 30 something Ladybros TTC #1

[happylass]

The small print:

The Berries have strict entrance criteria: TTC #1 for 12 months+, over 30, NO instadiffers, must have a special pimping pot and absolutely no mention of baby dust/dancing. Not that we're fussy!

Current Ladybros:

Minx 35 - TTC 2.5 years. Stage 4 endometriosis, both tubes blocked, 1 buried ovary, IVF #1 started Aug '15 at Mustache Towers, if all goes well results due mid-Sept.

Smidge 39, TTC since Jan '13. Unexplained. Some high NK cell immune treatment. IVF#1 Short protocol Jul'14 BFN; IVF#2 Nov'14 and IVF#3 Feb'15 both Long protocol BFNs; Natural FET Jun'15 - Another BFN. Trying to work out what to do next.

Happylass, 37, TTC since Aug 2012. 2 failed ICSI cycles, 1 failed FET and 1 abandoned cycle due to poor response. Hoping to start antagonist cycle mid September. HATE THIS SHIT!!

Beaky 35, ttc 3 yrs, 2x failed iui 1 long protocol ivf cancelled, 1 short protocol IVF BFN, very low amh etc etc. In 2ww for 2nd sp IVF.

Tigerdog, 35, ttc since Jan 2013. Unexplained. IVF #1 chemical pregnancy. Currently redoing tests in preparation for IVF #2.

barkingtreefrog 36, ttc since Dec 2011. clomid bfp summer 2013 then mc @7 weeks, iui bfp summer 2014 then mc @6 weeks. Factor V leiden thrombophilia diagnosed at the repeat mc clinic. IUI bfn Jan 2015, IVF bfn April/May 2015. FET bfn August 2015, remaining frozen embryo perished. Pursuing private tests and then long protocol ivf in Oct/Nov.

Lumen, 35, ttc since Nov 2011, unexplained, two IVF cycles in 2014, both bfns, waiting for lap&dye and results of numerous bloods, aiming for one last IVF cycle.

Kuma - 40. TTC 2.9 years. Low AMH high FSH - DH antisperm ABs. Failed IVF June 14 and March 15, cancelled cycle June 15. Last try September 15

Lucieloos, 36, TTC 18 months, low AMH & sperm motility. ICSI#1, April 2015, Czech, 2xblasts transferred, BFN. Icsi#2, cancelled before EC. Icsi#3, 2 mature and fertilised, both to blast and frozen. Icsi#4 in October, embryo banking.

Rain, 34, ttc since March 2012. unexplained. Mystery bfp oct 13, MMC Nov 13. IVF#1 Aug 2015

Sesame, 40, ttc with no dp, on this road for 2 years, multiple failed IVFs, 3 ETs, 1 bfp then mc, poor responder with v low AMH, but still looking for the golden egg.

nolly, 33, TTC 3 years, 1 confirmed MC, 2 more suspected. still in limbo

Spare, 34, TTC 3 years, IVF#1 short protocol + ICSI August 14 BFP but pregnancy loss at 20+ weeks, 3 failed FET, IVF #2 short protocol + PICSI August 15

Funkymonk 33. Ttc since October 2012. Mc June 2013, Mmc dec 2013, mc June 2014. Factor v Leiden thrombophilia. Abandoned IVF Jan 2015 due to thin lining. Abandoned FET Aug 2015 due to thin lining. 4 embies on ice. Cycling again November time I think.

Clem, currently on 3rd Clomid Cycle

Pip - quite simply the Best In Show.

Lucie that kitchen sink was very similar to what I'm on I believe, due to my immune results.
Prednisolone (25mg a day)
Progesterone (200 3 x a day)
Intralipids drip (one during downregging, one during stims, another if bfp - I already had the first using downregging and I need to book another for next week).
Metafolin (due to mthrfr gene)
Fragmin injections (1 a day)
Calcichew tablets (to counteract the effects of the fragmin)

And I'm chucking in acupuncture...

Thanks for the congrats ladies. Still feeling dead inside and totally in denial. Just can't believe this could be third time lucky.

But then 8 hours sleep over the last 3 nights would probably do that anyway.

Although yes, a proper, official FUFC given we'd already paid lots and lots of money and I'd done all the downregging and drip etc!

Lucie I think it's WildflowerMarmalade? I'm sure she's over in the chopper if there's anything you want to ask her.
Beaky Barry is a legend! 7 of the eggs were mature and 6 fertilised. Exactly the same stats as on our first cycle and I would be delighted with a similar outcome (with a BFP thrown in obvs!). DH was in the shower when I got the call so I ran in to the bathroom afterwards banged on the screen and shouted "We got 6!!" whilst holding 6 fingers up. To which DH looked at me liked I'd lost the plot and said "Eh? I really don't know what you're talking about". Men eh?!?
Barking I hope you're hanging in there. I know what a total headfuck this must be after all you've been through. Always a handhold here if you need it.

Barking, thanks for that. I am going to be doing prednisone but only 10mg, clexane, utrogestan, gestone, and aspirin. What is the down regging all about? Also what is metafolin?

Happy, brilliant news about the fertilisation! Those are exactly the results I had on my first round. Hope this is a lucky one for you.

happy well done on your most excellent fertilisation news! Crossing fingers now for some good embryo growth news. Did they say whether they think it would be a day 3 or day 5 transfer?

grin good luck for your exams, and for stabbing! Sounds like you might have to fight nolly for the berry scientist in residence crown!

Thanks ladybros, it was bfn for me this morning. It was on a frer this time so result is meant to be 98% accurate.

Aw Sesame I'm so sorry. What a pile of shit. Massive hug. Are you going to test again on otd? Just in case? Come and join me in the wine wigwam when you're ready.

Happy amazing results so far, everything crossed we can get you and Barking out of here at long long last.

Tiger how did the 3dsis go today? Any updates from the clinic re getting started at all?

I've just about ran out of dhea, coq10 and totally ran out of pregnacare. I went to buy some pregnacare at lunch time and was served by a heavily pg woman. Brilliant. Anyway this is one expensive month for supplements! Dh has been in hospital over the weekend too so it's been a bit of a crappy few days! Should have booked counselling sooner eh [santa] interesting emoji - maybe a bit soon for some!

Thanks beaky, and for inviting me into the wigwam – I hope it’s ok to bring fizzy water and herbal tea? I’m not so much into these days... Yes, will probably test again on Friday as I don’t want any surprises. I hate having to go into shops to buy pg stuff, I once had the assistant wish me good luck when I was buying tests, and I haven’t been back to that place since. Really sorry about your crappy weekend. Hope it’s nothing serious? Have some and a .

I'm sorry sesame, hope you're ok. It isn't bloody fair.

Barking still can't get over this! Some cautious excitement from me, which I'll keep a lid on for now!

Great news happy that's a good number and a solid fertilisation rate. Fingers crossed for the next steps.

beaky my love, I'm sorry about the general shitness. Hope your DH is ok.

water not sure if I said congrats on the bfp - so congrats!! Hope you're doing ok and fingers crossed!! A very short stay in Berry HQ - must be a record.

Waves to ungoog! Waiting is the worst part.

Hope you pull together a a good kitchen sink approach lucie! When are you going again?

Had my 3D sis and dummy transfer. Was the mean doctor from my first appointment but he was ok this time. Didn't really feel too uncomfortable. Feel a bit rough generally today though, headache and a bit off colour.

The good news is that all looked normal, and I'm easy access for the transfer. Slightly more problematic is this high right ovary - he had to pummel the hell out of my belly to access it, but thankfully he felt it was possible and I can avoid an abdominal EC. Had to empty my bladder and come back for another scan so he could confirm access and he managed to maneuver it out from behind the uterus where it hides. Glad I only had a light lunch!!

Slightly less good is that my AMH has dropped from 22.9 to 16.8. Still ok levels but a bit disappointing, although not unexpected. He also said that the number can fluctuate a bit but it is reasonable for my age. Also the waiting time is even longer now, so might not be starting until Feb, which means I may clash with the wedding and not be able to go on honeymoon.

The wait is slowly killing me, and now I'm wondering if I'm totally crazy to be trying to do wedding and IVF at the same time. I felt like I needed something to keep me busy and feeling positive, but it all feels too complicated. Oh, and did I mention it is the busiest time of year at work too?! Thing is, i don't want to postpone either. Even if I beg to start in Jan, OTD would be a couple of weeks before the wedding and that would be doable. I'm going to plead with the coordinators and the consultant to see what they can do.

I just feel so down. Could have cried after my appointment.

Lucie downregging is the start of long protocol, you inject the hormones to shut down your system and prevent it making new follicles so they all start at the same baseline when you stim. Or something. Metafolin is basically a pure form of folic acid, which my body can't absorb.

sesame I'm so sorry. I don't want to be that person that says it could be too early, you could have implanted late, but you know, stranger things have happened.

beaky hope your dh is okay. Mine had a flu jab yesterday which totally floored him, and he didn't manage to get out of bed all day today. Very unlike him.
I don't know whether to carry on taking the q10. I feel like I'm probably taking enough already, and the reason for taking it was egg quality anyway.

tiger I really, really hope you can sort out the timings to suit you. I agree, I wouldn't be postponing either of them either. We had our honeymoon 2 months after the wedding. I started planning my wedding naively believing I would be 7 months pg, then carried on planning through the mc, using it as an escape, and still hoping I'd be pg again by the big day. Obviously I wasn't, but it was a good distraction.

I just want to wake up in a few weeks time and see what my situation is a bit further on. I can honestly say I just feel totally dead inside. I hate how miscarriage robs you of any excitement whatsoever when you get a bfp. And the circumstances around getting it seem to be making it a lot harder to accept, which is also a bit strange.

Sorry it wasn't your month Sesame, hope you're ok

Barking wow! Cautious congratulations and hand holding here.

Tiger poor you, sounds like you've had a tough time. Pummelling your ovary... eeek! You poor thing. Hope you're feeling better now?

I'm learning so much from all you brave ladies on this thread, but it scares me as well. With a frozen pelvis and buried ovary myself, I reckon I'll need some pummelling when the time comes!

Oh ok thanks barking, i understand what down regging is in a long protocol but for some reason I thought you were doing a fet like me and so couldn't understand why down regging would be used then.

Sesame, really sorry for the bfn, big hugs.

barking thanks, I so would love that to be true but it looks like I have to accept my lot. I was reading a while ago about adding agonist to ivf for extra luteal support. Small doses of buserelin are meant to provide extra stimulation to the corpus luteum, encouraging it to produce more progesterone, which stops your lining breaking down. So my guess is the downregging from day 21, could have helped you overcome your luteal phase defect, allowing more time for an embryo to implant. You're 4 weeks by the time you find out you're pg, so that's another 8 weeks you need to get through till that milestone and I'm really willing your embie on.

tiger thanks. I'm sorry you feel so down. It's a shocker how many months your fc is making you wait. But hang on in there you will be in very good hands. And between work, wedding and ivf, time will pass quickly once everything is underway. My fc told me that when ovaries get full of follies, they sink down low and are much easier to reach. They have to usually reserve the brute force for people like me, with just a follicle or 2. The anaesthetist pushes down onto the abdomen, whilst the doc jags in the needle. Without the dude pushing down, the ovary could bounce off the needle back into the cavity. And that's why I was told they won't do ec without anaesthetic.

googs thanks, I guess you've got all this to look forward to

Oh Sesame I'm so very sorry my lovely. Sending huge hugs
Beaky I hope your DH is ok. I'm sorry you've had a crappy few days. Hugs for you too.
Tiger so sorry you're feeling blue. RL can be crazy at times without throwing in the added stress of TTC. We booked our wedding 18 months in advance and booked the honeymoon 12 months beforehand so we did stop TTC for a few months as we'd spent a ton of money by then and it would have been a huge ballache if we'd had to cancel. We only actually delayed IVF by 2 or 3 months though and we'd 'only' been TTC for 2 years at that point - I don't think I'd be prepared to wait at all at the moment. Having said all that it's a totally personal decision but I don't think doing both is madness. Do whatever feels right for you. Also your AMH is great - mine was 6.2 two years ago so I dread to think what it is now. I did get tested again after my cancelled cycle but noone's ever given me the result and I decided not to ask. I figure that there's nothing at all I can do about it and I didn't want to start this cycle on a negative - after all I can only work with what I've got!
Grin all the very best for your exams.
Wave to everyone else.

hello lovelies, how are you all. finally back in the land of the living, and only have an annoying cough left from being ill last week.

beaky thanks for the virtual cake and wine....it did the trick

happy great to read you were showing 11 decent follies (I do love the lack of tact of some of the health profession with your nurses' "jeez that's a big ovary"). great news that 6 fertilised.

seasame sorry to hear its not positive for you , thats really crappy. hope you are okay and we are here for you. sending you a hug.

barking a bfp...thats great news...got everything crossed for you. love the fact its the second fufc this week.

water congratulations on your bfp, thats brilliant news and a great FUFC.

grin glad you can now get started on your cycle. good luck for your exams too.

ungoogle I think its totally normal to have reservations about "what am I getting myself into", when you really think about looking after kids and all that entails. fairly recently, a friends wife (who started their family 15 odd years ago), make a throw away comment about "at long last, my youngest is now old enough to get home from school on their own...so no more pickups for her...which meant she as the mum, is now not limited to a day worked around school and pickups...left me thinking yikes...thats what I am trying to get myself into...am I nuts.

water love your water slide analogy...think that nails how a lot of us feel.

happy sorry to hear you are having injection issues...hope you aren't too bruised.

tiger hope your 3D sis yesterday went okay (sorry to be totally ignorant...remind me what a 3D sys is). sorry you are feeling like everything is getting on top of you (I don't blame you at all, I know how stressed I get when I have one part of my life busy, having work/wedding and ivf all together, is enough to worry us all).

as for me...I have my ovarian reserve tests booked for tomorrow...so its a second month off clomid, but worth it to find out these results. will have to go back in 2 weeks for a consult to discuss the results. at least this will be one thing done that needs to be done. oh and am going to docs later in the week, to get referred back to the fc for IVF (they auto discharge after putting me on clomid)...this is the NHS funded one, so could take upto 6 months to come through. still umming and ahhhing with dh about what to do in the meantime privatley...as all UK FC's I've spoken too say they would be obliged to inform my GP (which would jeopardise my NHS one), I'm thinking maybe a private one, abroad first.

feel like I have a constant headache thinking about all this stuff...

Wow, lots happening again. I tried to post earlier but my iPhone wasn't playing ball and kept giving me error messages about having to reload the page . V annoying. And now so many more people have posted I can't keep up and remember what I wanted to say!

barking I understand what you mean about the way this BFP happened makes it seem less real and sort of dead inside. I felt like that when they told me. I just really didn't believe it, as I was downregging and completely concentrating on the calendar for the ivf cycle. Though perhaps it was a good job I barely believed it, given it only lasted a couple of days . Fingers crossed yours sticks.

Oh and I think you should check with your FC on the CoQ10 - I was told to stop taking it if I got a bfp. (Though it doesn't seem to mention that on the packaging)

Tiger you sound stressed my lovely. I'm sorry you are feeling down. I reckon just don't book the honeymoon yet - there's no need to take it straight after the wedding. Maybe just have a couple of nights in a nice hotel and aim for a proper holiday when you can fit it in better. It'll be nice to have something to look forward to. (Though I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can get your round in early anyway)

happy congratulations on having 6 fertilise! MrH sounds like all the men! I think mine paid attention the first round but didn't seem so interested in the others.. maybe I'm being harsh. He has other things to think about unlike me, and always asks the embryologist questions when we see them at transfer

Sesame I'm so sorry it was a bfn. I think you would know by now with a frer. I'm so sorry. . You sound quite practical about it though - have you started to think about what you'll do next? Understand if it's too soon, but I always found a plan helped me through.

I've just been for my Day 21(?) blood test again with the intention to start down regging from tomorrow. Back on the sniffing thing, yuck. Of course, last time I was here I had actually already conceived. Not sure how I'll manage mentally this time around. I'll be constantly hopeful it'll happen again. Aargh.

Going to go now before my iPhone crashes again.

Hello ladybros

Sorry for the (continued) radio silence, but I just wanted to dip back in to give barking a high five, happy a chest bump, sesame a massive bear hug and tiger a gentle squeeze

Will catch up with the thread and do a proper post later. Peace out.

Woohoo spare fantastic to see you back. Cheers for the chest bump. How are you doing? When are you going to test?

happy The chest bump is just to check if I've got sore boobs
OTD is 9th, and I'm 9dpo today. What's the earliest I could sensibly test? Saturday?
But enough about me. How are you doing today?

Sesame of course, water is also acceptable in the wigwam of wine Have you thought of next steps? Sorry if that's too early - pls feel free to ignore if so.

Tiger lovely lady, I'm so sorry you are having a shit time, I really really hope the timings work out to get your cycle underway in January. I know how you feel with over burdening yourself with things to do, although we love some of it it isn't easy to manage it all, especially when we feel so low. Massive hug. come on into the wigwam. Glad everything went ok with the scan/trf too, but the ovary manoeuvring sounds sore!

Happy any news from the clinic? When is the next call? Everything crossed still.

Barking I wish this next few weeks goes very quickly and successfully for you, everything crossed for you too.

Smidge best of luck with this round, let's hope it's the one.

Spare how are you feeling? Anything symptom wise?

clem how did the tests go? When do you get your results?

I have my consultation with Gennet next week. Not sure what they can do in addition but I suppose I'll find out. £73 for the initial consultation isn't a bad price to get the extra advice at least.

Ooo spare you've just reminded me my boobs are super sore at the moment and my nipples are like bullets Good job it was only a virtual chest bump...
I think a Saturday pimp sounds reasonable. Did you have a day 3 or day 5 transfer? My last FC always set OTD at 14dp5dt which is ludicrous. Always caved well before then. I'm doing ok thanks although been very teary today, I guess it's just all the different drugs I've taken in the last week.
Beaky the clinic are ringing in the morning to let us know whether they will transfer then or Saturday. Going on past experience I suspect it will be Saturday, when DH will be away working grrrr!

Lucie we had two frosties from the last ivf round but when they took one out of the freezer for the fet in August it perished, so the remaining one came out to be put in, but that failed. This was my long protocol cycle with the new clinic.

sesame I've been thinking of you . How are holding up? Thanks for that info, that makes a lot of sense and makes me angry that I've never been given the opportunity to try just this before

smidge thanks for that, I've stopped the Q10. I'm on 10 tablets and an injection every day as it is! Have you started downregging now? Everything crossed for you.

spare/happy your little conversation had me pummelling my boobs until they hurt as I realised they didn't. It's okay, they feel tender now .

spare If it was me I'd be pimping on Saturday with a frer. I'll be refreshing my screen like a mad woman, so don't be having any relaxing lie in now...

Happy fx for a transfer tomorrow then, if that means dh can be with you?

beaky £73 sounds like a bargain compared with some of the private prices I've been paying recently. When is the appointment?

I had my woo needles tonight. Woo lady reckons needles reduce the chance of an early mc by 30%. But then she's biased . I had needles during the last one and that didn't help. When I told her my update she squealed with excitement. I burst into tears (not of happiness) and she apologised and said she realised how difficult it must be for me, she was getting flutters in her tummy just hearing my news and knowing my history.
Going back next week for more woo. Got the next intralipids drip booked for next Tuesday. Next Monday I've got interviews at work all afternoon. No working from home so I can take the call in private .

spare thanks for the bear hug! Omg, secret cycle? Wow you really kept that quiet. Can't wait to hear more. Yes, if you test with a frer on equivalent of 12dpo you should get an answer. The very best of luck!

barking thanks, I'm thinking about you too. Tbh this shit is wearing me down. I didn't really get the mechanism right in my post earlier. The buserelin acts on your pituitary, making it produce an initial flare up of LH and FSH. That extra LH could act on your corpus luteum. I don't think it's a regular treatment in its own right though. It's an occasional adjuvant for IVF and that's how it's hypothesised to work. My fc also told me in flare protocol I couldn't start agonist on 1st day of bleed as this reviving effect on corpus luteum, could mean lining isn't shed properly.

Ladybros that's as far as I got on my phone on the way to a meeting this morning. Will post more later.

sesame
Not so much secret cycle as totally-in-denial-that-we-are-bloody-doing-this-AGAIN cycle
I'm PUPO with 2 embies. The 14th and 15th we have created, and the 7th and 8th to go back. It is just relentless shite.

No symptoms at all, and had a very vivid dream last night about getting a BFN so it looks like this shit isn't over yet. Eurgh

Another quick update from me, this time to ask for some advice. So I’ve just booked the bfn train to London this weekend to go to the Fertility Show. I’d like to chat to a bunch of clinics, to try and get some free advice. But the exhibitor list is massive. I wondered if any of you lovely berries would like to suggest any clinics that I should try and speak to?

spare You’re leading the way, I’ve had a total of 5 embryos created and put back in 2 years, giving me only 4 weeks of pregnancy. No symptoms you say...? That’s what I had when I got my bfp, I reckon that’s a good sign.

I can’t keep away from this site at the moment, so will likely post even more later. It’s pretty noisy out tonight, I hope all the berry fur babies are ok?

My fur baby is petrified, it's her first ever fireworks night too!

Sesame I'd suggest Lister and Create, when I looked into London clinics they were both good for low ovarian reserve/poor responders. Also City Fertility they are like a sister clinic for Gennet in Prague and seem to be reasonably priced for London clinics. I was mainly impressed with the first two when I did my research though. So that's my two penneth! How are you feeling atm?

Spare crossing everything for a lovely bfp, will you test on Saturday? I'm wishing for more good news on this thread, we really need some.

Tiger how are you feeling? Been thinking of you.

Happy willing all your little embies on to day 5, fx for frosties too.

Barking how are you getting on? Still willing your little embie on over here.

I had a good friends pg announcement on fb messenger tonight. I felt sick and could have cried but I feel angry at myself for feeling like that. There's been at least 4 baby births in the last couple of weeks too. I feel so dysfunctional at the moment. Wang me please berries.

Hope everyone else is ok.

Sesame Wow, that's some list! Care fertility are who I went with not just because their nearest clinic is walking distance from our house because they specialise in immune issues linked with miscarriage and failed implantation. My fur baby is fine, but then we took him out to firework displays as a puppy!

Beaky give yourself a break. I fell apart for at least two weeks at the last pg announcement I got, it tipped me right over the edge and I haven't felt able to make contact with her since (other than the obligatory 'congrats') despite how supportive she's been through all my shit.

spare still got my fingers crossed for you.

I'm starting to struggle. Cried as I did the fragmin injection tonight, it's so fucking painful and I just can't get the bloody needle to pierce my skin. It's like trying to push a blunt nail through flesh without a hammer. I've never had a problem getting any of the other needles to pierce the skin, they just seem to provide fat, blunt needles for fragmin .
I've not had more than 3 hours sleep a night since Saturday. I called the clinic today and begged for a repeat blood test tomorrow instead of Monday. I'm going in at 7.30.