TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Frankie! Missed that update ... Eeek!

sunday sad times no xmas party, mine is tomorrow - luckily I have to drive there so have a ready made excuse for not drinking.

Confession - I have done no Christmas shopping :S Well I've bought one small present for DH and that's it. Please tell me I'm not the only one...

frankie If it is a chemical p then you'll probably be in a sensitive mood and have to tell him anyway so I think you might as well fess up so you can get the support either way :)

hey! Thank girls, still in a bit of disbelief, but will keep testing anyway! 2nd line appeared on the frer after about 5 seconds this morning, will see if I can post a pic of them both.
I told him, I went a run to clear my head a little and decided I couldn't not tell him! hes over the moon, very sensible attitude in that what will be will be and we should just embrace and enjoy it, worrying will not make me miscarry, only not enjoy my pregnancy. although until the weekend is over I will feel a bit

my works night out is on Tues, have a driving excuse ready so will be fine - and irs a relatively new team so they don't know me all that well to know that I'm normally a raving alcoholic!
got another night out with friends next sat and will tell them. They helped me thru my mc and will know anyway if im not drinking!

hope everyone is ok - Vap how are you doing?
Brenna you need to slow down lady! have a wee rest from all your painting!

xxx

frankie best news ever!!
Congratulations!
Everything crossed it sticks
It's so nice to hear some good news. How many months after mc are you?

Not much going on here. Still having brown spotting which I suppose is the little bit that was left coming out. Drank my weight in prosecco last night unexpectedly and am now nursing a hang over from hell. Didn't dtd last night as dp went to bed while I was still up drinking with my mum. Will defo get on with it this weekend though. Still not managed to buy any super drug ovulation tests. Will be near one today so will buy some. Still undecided about using CB ones this month. CD 9 today, if you can call it that, so will be late starting them anyway. Will see what the cheapies say when I dip one.

just popped in to say hi and...WOOHOO! frankie, that's amazing news - congrats! incredibly pleased for you. your DH sounds like a lovely (and very sensible!) guy!

northern fingers crossed for you this time round. little christmas surprise, maybe?

vap, been thinking of you. hope you're recovering ok, and your heartache is bearable. i know how you feel - i went for a scan on monday and saw a HB for the first time, but i've also been spotting since last friday and all my symptoms have completely gone in the last few days. i've got a follow-up scan next weds but in my heart of hearts i feel sure this is another MMC - it's exactly the same as the one in october. it's beyond heartbreaking to have this happen twice and i've got everything crossed for you and me next year.

brenna - how much more house can there be left to paint?!

clara I'm so sorry to hear about your spotting. I really hope that everything is ok on Wednesday. I know how horrible it is. It's going to be such a long weekend for you. I have everything crossed that it will be ok. Argh, all this worrying is just so unfair!

Clara I hope that everything is ok, got everything crossed for you.
I don't think you should focus on lack of symptoms too much, I had the strongest symptoms ever when in fact my baby's heartbeat had already stopped, don't let that worry you too much.

Vap I am 2nd cycle post mmc, had erpc 22.09 and was lucky to return to normal cycles almost straight away. I'm just hoping this is it, I feel quite positive xxx

Frankie just dropping by to say big congrats!! Hoping you have a starught forward 9 months!

Vap thinking of you, you've been so strong.

Clara hope all is ok, I know it's hard when you've got the feeling soemthings not right but the EPU said they do see bleeding and healthy babies, hoping this is the case for you. Take care of yourself x

I hope all is ok Clara

It is an epic job as I am covering some really dark and horrible paint and it is taking many coats. I have taken a break from painting. For 2 reasons. One - the paint I have looks nothing like the colour thing on the tub (I normally get testers but this one was on sale as discontinued and I bought it ages ago knowing it would be a while before I got to paint). I can water it down with more white once I get some. But somewhat worse is reason 2. My friend's Mum got in touch on thursday night. She has just restarted chemo for a brain tumour. The chemo isn't working at all and she is now in hospital and not expected to live very much longer at all. She may not even make it through this weekend. So I am popping down there instead to say goodbye. I am devastated.

In happier news DH is back.

Oh brenna that's sad news :(

frankie they are nice strong lines I hope I can be as lucky and get caught 2nd cycle!

mascara how are you getting on? Symptoms?

brenna what sad news . Great that dp is back! When will you be testing?

Update from me - I couldn't buy any cheap opks so have decided to use cb even though they probably won't work this month and I'll be flushing £20 down the loo. So started today on cd10 (2 days later than I should) and clear circle as expected. Dtd last night. Started worrying that I haven't seen a negative test and if I haven't then how will I know if we conceive and frer says positive. So have dipped frer this morning and it's still a bloody bfp when will this be over? I just want to move on and start again but my body won't let me. The bfp is the same darkness as my 10dpo bfp. Not impressed.

Feeling blah, nausea on and off, no sickness though. I've got my private scan Thursday, if all is ok I'll start to believe it. 9 weekish, past the mc point, doesn't make it any less scary though! Hope you're all ok. Take care Brenna

Hugs Vap. My EPAC told me to come back if I still getting positives after 2 weeks. I think if you are still getting lines next week you should go to the Dr.

I hope the scan goes well Mascara. Everything crossed for you.

Ages until I test yet. I am expecting AF on the 21st, so I am trying to hold out on testing until christmas eve. Because that would be fun to get a positive.

Brenna such sad news, hope you're ok. good that DH is back for you too tho as you wouldn't want to be alone.

frustrating waiting to get a negative isn't it Vap? I was about 3 weeks for mine, then got AF on day 24 after erpc. could be just another week or so for you. I hope youre quick again too, but remember it WILL happen!!

oooh mascara a scan on Thurs, exciting! glad you're passed your previous mc weeks, but natural to still worry. I know I will.

I have to contact epas once I find out I'm pregnant again, I luckily know a girl who works for them AND a private scan company, (sadly it was her who discovered my mmc) so I'm going to message her and see how many early scans I can push for with them, as want one as soon as a heartbeat is able to be seen, but also mmc was at 7+4 so I want one after that and before my 12 week one!!! xxx

Fab news Frankiepants!!! And hope scan all good on Thursday Mascara.

Oh Brenna so sorry for your news. Glad dh home with lots of hugs I hope

Managed to get through Christmas Party on Thursday with no one noticing I wasn't drinking :)

I'm sorry to hear your friend has deteriorated brenna. I hope she is being well looked after and that you get enough time to say goodbye.

Also sorry that your mc is dragging on vap. I'd wait until getting a negative before trying again but I can understand your frustration at wanting to get on with things.

Hope all is ok on weds Clara, surely seeing a hb is a good sign. Try not to worry about symptoms disappearing, mine have been mild and non existent for days at a time.

Anyone else due AF or to test before Xmas? Feeling a little more festive now my tree is up

AF has arrived this morning, with vicious cramps and lots of dark red blood. Was worried about Asherman's after ERPC (yet another thing to worry about) so in one way it's good to see lots of blood. Had a little cry though.

Firmly back on the TTC wagon from now on. DH isn't working away for the next 9 months, so we will be in the same bed every night, woohoo!!

Brenna so sorry to hear about your friend. Such sad news. Hope you manage to spend some time with her this wkend.

Clara I hope everything will be ok. I know the dread all too well - I had a mc no 2 after seeing heartbeat - but the odds are firmly in your favour. From what I've read, symptoms come and go, and so long as you've no new spotting, that's a good sign. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Freaking out a bit today. Thought I saw tiny red fibres when I wiped earlier (though it could have been cause I have new red knickers on!) and have since convinced myself I have cramps and back ache :-/

6 weeks tomorrow and I've got first meeting with community midwife tomorrow (group drop-in session you have to go to before booking appointment). Might mentioned mc to her and see if she thinks I should go to EPAU.

Also, so nauseous and bloated :-(

Best of luck Maud

I hope all is ok Sophie. No advice sadly.

I am shattered now. Today was hard. We went to see my friend. Big detour as the Forth Road Bridge is closed. She was awake today and we had a bit of a chat. She lasted about 15 minutes before she got too tired. It was difficult to understand her as the right side of her face is paralysed and her voice was quite weak. Her poor Mum is struggling so much. She has perked up a bit.

Brenna sending you huge hugs, so sad. your friend and her mum will appreciate you being there for her xxx

Clara I hope you're feeling ok, not long until your scan now - I feel a bit like the pot calling the kettle black telling you to relax; but try if you can!!

Maud, so glad to hear DH will be with you for the next few months so it's one less part of ttc you need to worry about! are you going to be tracking ov anything? good luck to you and can't wait until it's your bfp!!

well done Clare on getting through your party without drinking! no awkward questions?

Sunday I put my tree up tonight and am watching Love Actually, feeling quite festive myself!

Mascara not long til your scan either, eeek!

April do you have a scan booked yet at all?

I messaged my friend at epas, she says they'll scan me at 7 weeks, she says depending on who I see I might get another at 9, but I might not.

I don't know whether to hold off until 7.5/8 weeks and then have a private scan about 10/11, or go at 7 weeks and then go for a private? I know it's only a few days in it, but as my loss was at 7+4 I'm a bit fixated on that timescale.

did another frer this morning as AF due today, test line appeared at the same time as the control line
not sure how I'm going to manage to keep myself occupied and not worry, I'm going from elation to complete fear and tears. The only upside is that things are generally so busy and hectic at this time of year anyway that I think (hope) the next 3 weeks will fly in and I'll only have days until a scan.

need to be positive girls, thanks for listening to me (like you had a choice! )

xxx

Thanks Brenna. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend - glad that you got to spend some time with her though.

False alarm yesterday as I am an anxious idiot was little red fibres from new red cotton knickers that had..umm.. attached themselves to me and were showing on paper when I wiped! Think cramps and back ache were from the lovely bloating I've had.

I had my pre-booking appointment group session with community midwife today. Felt a bit silly getting my maternity record and talking about hospitals as I'm only 6 weeks, but it's difficult to get a booking appointment here and this session is compulsory. Think I'll wait till after Christmas for that though. Still doesn't feel like I'll actually give birth to a baby.

Sophia few about the red fibres!!! I made my midwife appointment today, it's 2 weeks tomorrow - so I can get referred for yhe flu jab. have been meaning to go and get it for weeks. feel a bit silly at 4 weeks phoning to make the appointment, but I'm worried that if I wait until after scan at 7/8 weeks I'll struggle to get appointment and then also 12 week scan will be later.......

it's hard to feel it's real isn't it? scared to be happy incase it's taken away again xxx

Frankie I'm still feeling like that at 9+1. I'm also getting ready for a second early scan to reassure myself! Then it shouldn't be too long until the 10-12 week scan. Then I suppose I better start the believe that this all could be ok!

It's going to be a long few months isn't it? I'm definitely wanting a couple of scans before my 12 week one, need the reassurance xxx