TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Checking in again.

I have been testing obsessively although I have absolutely no idea when AF is due. My last mc began on 8/9 Nov. I had some odd stabbing period-ish pains on Weds of last week and some twinges in my boobs the last few days as well. I did a FR test on Fri lunchtime and again this morning. Both times a v v v faint line appeared about 10 minutes later. Really only visible under a bright light.

I have no idea what that means. Will probably have to just wait and see. Feeling v anxious and worried, and almost frightened of being pregnant, if that is what has happened.

Oh Maud, I know how you feel about being frightened of being pregnant - I was absolutely terrified, but I seem to be adjusting ok to the idea except for the occasional panic. It will be hard to know when and how pregnant you are because it's the cycle after your miscarriage, and I wonder if the faint line could still be there from that? Have you had a negative test since your miscarriage? I hope everything works out well for you xx

I too am scared about being pregnant again and I hope when the time comes I will cope ok. I will get plenty of support from friends and family, which will help a lot. As Sophia said, have you had a negative since the miscarriage? My niece is still positive a month on, although her blood levels have now dropped enough to be discharged from the clinic. It can take ages to get back to normal. I hope it is a real positive and takes off soon and that you settle into enjoying it.

Another positive OPK today.

maud I think it's very normal as everyone said to feel very scared about being pg again. As I've said before I've been trying not to think about it and as far as possible not act pg as it made me feel too scared. Symptoms are starting to make that impossible though but I know that scared feeling well, I think all we can do is keep going and take everything one day at a time whatever stage of this journey we're on.

Massive hugs vap so sorry to hear that, glad that you're feeling better this time though. As everyone has said it's probably just bad luck to have a 2nd mc and great that you go pg so quickly. Your sticky baby will come :)

Sophia I'm over here writing the book on irresponsible pregnancy. I'm only on a short term contract (maternity - ironically) due to end around my due date (July). I'm the main breadwinner and my DH works a low paid job and is applying to do a phd in Sept. We don't own our house and have very little savings. I have friends who seem to have been very organised and got their lives perfectly in a row but it's not that easy for the majority of us and I don't want to wait for ever to get everything sorted when we know we want a family. We'll figure it out as we go along. Glad your other friend was more excited though!

brenna hope you get a little christmas miracle :)

Today I finally booked my midwife appt for next week. Have been feeling pretty crappy the last couple of days and so thought at least I'll have someone else to moan at as haven't told anyone yet. I'm obviously very grateful to have made it this far (7+1) but am feeling a little sorry for myself... I think DH is going to get bored of pg wife very quickly :P

hey girls! just checking in, I hope you're all ok.

vap have been thinking of you lots, im glad to read you're handling things 'better' than last time, if you know what I mean. sounds like by getting your opks sorted you're planning ahead, which I found helped with my mc - taking control and all that.

Also lovely to hear from our pregnant ladies, great to hear of scans, heartbeats and midwive appointments, hoping it will be more of us soon.

anyone else testing soon? I am 8dpo today and so far have not begged DH for a test
ovia tells me today 4 days til test, which is Sat, however I'm not testing until Sunday when AF is due (mainly because I don't want to ask for a test! or spend any more bloody money on more!!).
I haven't felt as manic and obsessed this month which is good.
only slightly ss too, have had no ewcm at ov, then copious amounts of creamy stuff, then nothing, then watery, now back to creamy.........only sore bbs are from my gym class last night (haha!) and my cramps have died down alot now compared with last month - but is that a good thing?!
I felt nauseaus yesterday from about 4ish until 7ish, and then again at bedtime. I also had a couple of dizzy feeling spells during my gym class about half 7, but it could very well have been exertion as was lifting weights. also not sure if 7dpo is too early to feel anything like that?!
I'm feeling generally upbeat about things, im sure once AF appears on Sunday I'll be less so, but will wait and see!

love to you all xxx

So yesterday's scan has left me feeling so much worse.
The dipped my wee, not even fmu and there was a clear line. It was fairly faint but very clearly there.
My own test was clear on Sunday
So they scanned me and said there was only a small amount to still come out. I don't know if she saw the bit that was still to come out or if she said that because of the positive test.
They sent me away saying not to dtd this month without using protection because my body may think any further pregnancy could be the mc and my body may push it out. Not heard that one before??? I asked if I would ovulate, can't remember if she answered but basically said not to try.
So I'm going to ignore that.
As if they can tell someone 28 months into trying to not dtd??
WTAF?
So interestingly the test she had was 25mlu so clearly all of these ic's are nowhere near as sensitive as they say they are. I wish you could buy the actual ones the dr's use.
So now I'm feeling massively bloated which I presume was because of her sticking the thing around inside and totally confused. So I'm still a little bit pregnant. But for how long? No follow up tests. My ic's won't be any use as they don't say I'm pregnant now so can't rely on them telling me I'm not. I wish I hadn't gone. It's made it all worse. I thought that I would get closure from this appointment and be told it's all gone and to go and try again and here is our number if you go through this in future. But no. They won't speak with me before 6w with future pregnancies and had no advice other than not to try this month for a reason I've never heard before. They suggested going back to my consultant and seeing what he had to say about it all, they said he may see me earlier in pregnancy than them. So I called and waited from number 14 in the queue and after 28 minutes they out me through to a voicemail and haven't had a call back. Surprise surprise.
I'm feeling so low about it all now and as I'm still a little bit pregnant I can't use my cb ovulation kit because of the hormones I have that will mess up the results. This is just so shit

Vap I am so sorry you had such a rough day. That sounds awful. Can you try and test with a FRER and see if that gives you a line? Then at least you would have a test you can do at home to see.

I think it is disgraceful they are discharging you before it is complete. They should be making sare there are no complications. Can your Dr do bloods for it to look at your actual hormone amounts. My niece's EPAC have been monitoring her bloods until they were sure there were no problems and then you get actual numbers to check they are going the right direction, not a line on a stick that gives little information.

Personally I think you should give it a rest for a month/until you have got rid of all tissue. My niece is still expelling some after a month and the last thing you want to do is end up in the same situation next month. Last month (my first month after my m/c I felt quite raw inside and bloated and not right. OH wanted to start trying last month but I felt like if we did conceive we would only end up losing it, then losing another month waiting to get back to normal, or possibly longer if the m/c was more complicated than me last. So I was quite relieved he didn't announce this until right when I was ovulating and then wasn't in the mood to dtd that night. That meant we had a couple of days of warm up before he was up to it and we missed our chance. I was upset about that too as I was pretty sure that we would not get a chance this month with him being away for a week in the middle of when I thought my cycle would be. As it is we dtd successfully 2 days before ovulation, right before he left. So there is at least a chance. Most likely not but at least next month we will be all healed and ready to go.

Oh Vap that's rubbish!
In the summer when I had my mmc and was admitted in hospital, the gynecologist checked me quickly when the sac came out and said you're all fine now. Have a month off and then start ttc again. She said no need for follow-up tests. However I went to the Dr a few days later with anemia and he recommended having a scan to make sure everything was in 'tip top shape' as he put it :)
Thank god I did as the scan showed I had remaining tissue so was put on antibiotics to avoid infection and told to come back in 10 days to be scaned again. I did and there was a teeny amount still left which they said would come out with my next af. At the time of all the scans, I was told not to dtd to avoid infection so I would definitely take a break if you can.
Can you demand a scan from your drs to ensure you're all clear in say a week's time? It's for your own health and well being that you know you're clear etc...

How are you doing today Vap?

Hi

Still feeling really low today. I'm kind of lucky that in my job I drive places and go in to see a customer and you leave your life in the car so my mind is totally consumed on the job in hand so am lucky to have that distraction, although on the other hand, having hours in the car on my own dwelling on things doesn't help.

So I've spoken with dp this evening, in a hotel tonight which I could do without, and we have decided we will definitely try again this month starting when I get home tomorrow. My theory is that if I do get pregnant again then great and fingers crossed but if I lose it again then at least it will be 3 and the dr's will help. I spoke with my fertility dr's secretary today and she said there is no way they will help until I've had 3 so I'm thinking there is no point waiting a month. Best case scenario we get pregnant and all is fine, crap scenario don't get pregnant, worst case scenario get pregnant and lose it but then get help. So I can't really see a bad end result. This is such an awful way to look at a loss and I'm sad that drs make you think like this but I'm doing all I can to work my way to get help.

I checked my appointment date and it's closer than I thought 18 Jan. So with Xmas etc there won't be time to go private as we have so much going on. I told dp that if we tell him the truth they won't help and it will cost us quite a bit as if he doesn't help I'm not hanging about any more. I'm at the end of my tether with it. I have him searching for fertility treatment now which he is realising is more easily said than done.

Has anyone tried CB sticks the cycle after mc? I don't think they will work as I still have pregnancy hormone in me. And don't fancy wasting £20 this month on sticks when they won't tell me anything. So am thinking I'll go to super drug and get some of their cheapies as I hear they are quite good and have started temping again. Think tomorrow I'll call my gp and request a blood test and have it done maybe next Tuesday to find out if all the hcg has gone. Will try to dtd every other day until then just to cover all bases.

Still having brown discharge with clear discharge and still having cramping. Now I'm not sure if it is the same cramping as before or if it could be ovulation cramping?? Although I know you can't ovulate when you still have hcg so probably mc cramping. Sorry, I'm rambling now.

The apprentice has just started

How is everyone else doing?

Any testers?

I think Frankie may be next to test. I'm not until christmas eve.

I am ok. Knackered as I have been working 7 day weeks at the moment (well 5 and 2 half days anyway) and am also painting the bedroom while DH is away, looking after the dog, doing the christmas shopping and sending the parcels to our abroad friends, helping out with the food at church things and a few other things. Roll on christmas because I am planning to put my feet up and rest over christmas.

Blooming heck brenna if anyone deserves a rest it sounds like it needs to be you! When do you break up for Xmas?

Best of luck frankie, looking forward to hearing how you get on

Thans guys!

vap I hope you're ok, I know it will sound crappy at the moment but time really will help you. You're at a really frustrating stage just now where you just want the mc to be over and to start again.

loving the apprentice btw, although spend most of it cringing and slagging them off!! I can't believe Varna has lasted so long!!!

Brenna that sounds totally full on for you, you'll be knackered. hope you get time for feet up and a cuppa now and again! (or a glass of wine!)

so...........I found my tests! 😂
DH told me when he 'hid' them that it wasn't a great place - so this morning I checked where I thought the easiest place would have been for him to chuck them............and lo and behold there all the little beauties were!
I checked after my pee this morning so I couldn't use one though.

now my dilemma is do I steal one to use tomorrow or Sat? or do myself proud and stick until Sunday?! 🙈

I am 10dpo today. have had 3 or 4 bouts of nausea this week, my bbs aren't sore as such but I feel like I am aware of them from the inside if that makes sense?! burning on occasion.
biggest thing though is my cm - off the chart. so much of it, and when I check with a mirror (yes, you read that right! I did it last month too so at least I have something to compare with!) there's hundreds up there!

I still don't want to get too hopeful though........

anyone else testing soon? xxx

Sakura, Northern, Maud (and everyone else!) how are you ladies doing?

Haha frankie I love that you found the tests :) I think you should do yourself proud and wait it out though, you said yourself that you were feeling less stressed this time so if you take a test you'll start obsessing again :) wait for AF to give you a hint first

So sorry vap sounds like you're having a horrible time and I can't believe they don't offer you any follow up if your mc not complete yet! I remember being told not to dtd while still bleeding in case of infection but other than that that it was find to try again straight away. I've never heard that about your body thinking a new pg is the old mc either! Look after yourself xx

of course I'm not going to do myself proud, am I?!

got a positive on an IC at 10dpo..........

I'm annoyed at testing early, excited about the result, and scared now incase it turns out to be a cp.
wish I could control myself sometimes!!

xxx

Woohoo frankie! Hopefully it's the start of the real thing :) have you admitted to your DP that you found the tests?

no, he's not home until after 6. not sure whether to wait until Sunday to test again and tell him, less time for him to worry and if it is a cp then I've got him excited for nothing?
argh, torn xxx

Nothing on tests yet for me. It's 4 weeks 4 days since my mc began, but not sure when AF is due. Maybe what I thought were implantation pains last week were actually ovulation pains? Who knows. I'll probably have AF for Christmas

Ooh frankie!

Hiya! I'm ok, well, ish! Christmas do last night and another girl from work announced her pregnancy aaargh! I got a bit teary, but I'm ok now I think. Cd10 so getting ready for a peak!

oooh Frankie I hope that everything goes well. So happy for you.

Maud my first ovulation after my m/c was awful. Strong cramps and I started bleeding again and I was worried that the m/c was starting up again. Luckily not.

Hiya Northern. I hope you will be announcing fairly soon yourself.

More painting for me again. Sigh

Congratulations Frankie!! Have you confessed to him yet? That's the only trouble with testing early, the worry about a chemical. At least you have a few tests left to check with in a few days x

My work aren't having a Xmas do this year, I'm a bit disappointed, was looking forward to buying a new dress!