TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Congratulations Sophia and brilliant news mascara.

AF rocked up yesterday so that's me out this month and this year since my next poas will be in 2016! Feeling meh that this year didn't work out but on the other hand, we moved to a lovely new house which will be an amazing family home in time.

(Still no internet so I'm only on here fleetingly!)

Brenna sorry to hear about the shitty timing :(

Hi all

sophia MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'm so pleased for you! Woo hoo! Do not fret about the drinks you had, it will have no baring on the baby as the baby doesn't take anything from you until the placenta is formed in week 4. Have you worked out your edd yet?

mascara YAHOO! What a massive relief! I'm so excited about seeing the heartbeat! I've read that once you see the heartbeat the chance of miscarriage is greatly reduced! I hope you are managing to relax a little more now. Your private scans for £35 sound amazing. Would you pm me a link to the clinic just in case they are anywhere near I live as that's less expensive than any I've found!

You 2 have made my day! Thank you for the excellent news! I'm hoping to be back reporting with equally as good news with blood results on Friday and early scan next week.

frankie everything crossed for your ovulation this month and it sounds like you dtd at the right time! Can't wait for you to test!

brenna have you missed it entirely this month?

sakura that sounds like a positive step with your tests. I think the swabs are for sti's but I'm not 100% sure. I can't remember too well as was a bit taken aback when I wasn't wasn't expecting to be asked to "drop them and spread them" at that appointment. The dye test, is that a Hycosy? If you're ovulating (sorry I can't remember if you are) then you have increased fertility for a few months after it. Best of luck with dp's SA. When will you get the results? What are they testing for in your blood? Is it for ovulation? I'm pleased that you can just chill out now and enjoy Xmas knowing you can go for it in the new year.

brenna sorry, I wasn't in the last page. Sorry it's so tough with dp's issue. Does it help with sensitivity issues if he "relieves himself" the couple of days beforehand so he is raring to go when he is with you and Dtd? I'm sure you've already thought of this and it probably doesn't work like that.

Not much change here. Just waiting for these bloods on Friday, spotting was back and heavier yesterday. Tick tock, tick tock. Work is mad busy so at least I've been so busy I don't have too much time to think about things. Can't wait for Friday.....

Wow, I was in a grump last night.

Nope Vap that just makes it worse. It is like he has to get used to the different sensation of me. So any interruption like AF or going away or me just even being tired for a night or two puts us right back to square one. Right now I am exhausted, having a shit time at work and fighting to get on with this. So I feel really at the end of my tether. DH didn't help last night. I was decorating a cake for a 40th and he came into the kitchen. I turned round and realised he was eating the icing I was half way through using. I was there to ask whether or not I was finished with it. That was the last straw for last night. I was ranting on here after that, just totally done with the world. Even my dog wouldn't do that!

Hmmm, still grumpy this morning then. Oh well. Off to work now.

wow, so much going on!

mascara - a heartbeat - how amazing! that's absolutely brilliant. how many weeks/ days are you now? the odds just got loads better for you, hope you can enjoy it all now.

and CONGRATS sophia!!! such beautiful news. you're right, now there's a whole other nervy situation to deal with but it's so exciting, too. i don't know if anyone's ever ready to be a parent, really - i had exactly the same feeling with my last BFP! sure when he or she's here you'll be ready on the spot!

brenna so sorry to hear you're having such a rough trot emotionally - this whole situation is so fraught and tough anyway, without the additional logistical complications you're up against. totally understandable that you'd be at the end of your rope with this. vent away. just try to remember that there IS going to be a baby out of this at some point, and it will all have been worthwhile, however shitty and hard getting there is...

grapefruit welcome to the thread! nice to have you here, hope things are healing for you.

and your boss sounds like SUCH a douche, vap. you don't deserve that at all, it's the last thing you need. if you can, just let it roll off you like water. you've got bigger fish to fry than this sad, angry little man! and get how you're feeling about worrying with AND without symptoms. every time i feel a cramp i panic, and every time i feel absolutely nothing i panic! no pleasing some people, eh?

all quiet over here. waiting nervously for my scan on monday 7/12. EPU said they still want to scan me then even though i may be as little as 5 or as much as 6.5 weeks then - if they need to rescan they'll get me back in before christmas. amazing how much better dealing with the EPU is compared to my GP...

Clara glad to hear you're dealings with the EPU are better than your GP, and Monday will fly around, can't wait to heat your news!!

and yes Brenna, vent away! you will be frustrated but as Clara has said there WILL be a baby at the end of all this, stay positive hun (and shame on DH stealing your icing! hope you got the cake finished!)

Northern sorry to hear AF got you, but here's to 2016! more time to get your family home all sorted, and Christmas and New Year are just around the corner to keep us occupied!!

xxx

2016 will be your year Northern!

Vap PM'd you. X

The cake turned out well (considering). Photo attached. DH made me dinner tonight, so he is clearly feeling a bit guilty . I was planning a bath and a early night but tonights OPK is slightly darker so have informed DH he is on duty whatever he things about it.

Wow that looks so professional! Is the flower made of icing too? Amazing! I like baking but get in a mess if I have to wield a piping bag mine are usually left undecorated

I cheated on the flower, it is just a silk one from Hobbycraft, pulled off the stem. Thank you. I love baking and the decorating (although I frequently get quite shouty in the middle of the decoration bit when it all looks like it is about to go Pete Tong). It was for a colleagues 40th birthday and she loved it, so all is better with the world today.

brenna what a brilliant cake! Wow! Was it sponge? It does look like a totally professional job. Bet you can't wait to make kids birthday cakes! Hopefully it won't be too much longer to wait for that BFP. That's so tough about dp, can the dr's do anything to help?

mascara thanks for the info

clara that scan is getting close now. Very exciting!

The cake looks fab Brenna!!! yum yum!

I can't wait to get to bed tonight and NOT dtd!!! I enjoy it, but 3 nights in a row and 7 times in 9 or 10 days is ENOUGH!!!! xxx

It was a chocolate and guinness cake.

We DTD last night. He didn't finish but at least we have made a start. Maybe tonight.

I'm bleeding

oh vap. have you phoned EPU?

I don't think there is one where I live. I spoke with the GP and they didn't say I should do anything.
Just wait it out I suppose.

I phoned the number they gave me when I booked my booking appointment and there is an epu but I can't speak to them until I'm 6w

What a nightmare - I don't know what else to suggest, im so sorry!
how far on are you? how heavy is the bleeding compared to last week? did the GP not suggest more bloods?

sorry for all the questions, and huge huge hugs to you xxx

They didn't suggest anything

Blood results were

Monday 23 November 4+1 12pm 170
Wednesday 25 November 12pm 4+3 300
Monday 29 November 5+1 6pm 1012

So they weren't going up quick enough.

Today I'm 5+4

Bleeding is very light and nothing in my pad but I'm driving so no movement at all. I expect it will get heavier when I start moving about. Lots of red when I wipe or go to the loo though.

I just need to get home! 120miles to go

oh vap. safe trip home xxx

Vap how are you doing? Hope the bleeding has stopped x

Loads of big clots when I got out of the car.

I'm so angry with the dr's for not helping me.
They still won't.
I gave the gp a really hard time on the phone today as all they do is say no, I asked for progesterone for next time, he said there is no evidence to support it, so I asked why everyone with recurrent mc are prescribed it. He accepts this is the case but said he won't prescribe it due to lack of evidence it works. He is speaking with my fertility dr to see if they will prescribe it.

Appointment at the end of Jan still booked so will see what they say then.
I know they won't help until 3mc
I asked the dr why they were going to make me go through this torture again before offering any help? And is it really worth messing with my mental wellbeing for the sake of giving me something to help.
He had no answers.
It's looking like private will be the only option now, NHS appear to be under such strict budgets and guidelines they don't seem to be able to do anything to help.

So sorry Vap I can't imagine how frustrating it must be not to get the help you need. Even two miscarriages could still just be bad luck, so please don't lose hope. Have you got someone to take care of you tonight? xx

I am so sorry Vap. As Sophia said even 2 can still be bad luck. Also I have heard of people losing a lot of blood and remaining pregnant, so please don't fully give up hope yet, although do try and prepare yourself just in case. What age are you? I don't know what the guidelines are for where you are in the country but I was told that they start investigations after the first if you are 38 or over (I was 37 and 8 months so not eligible for investigations starting after my last one, if I have another it probably wouldn't happen until after my 38th birthday in january, so I would get investigated then). If you are 38 you may be eligible to get investigate now.