TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

morning all!

dancing the cheap shop Savers have them too, not sure if you have them where you are?

solid smiley for me today. 1st test didn't work for some reason and I managed to get out enough wee to go again straight away as no way I could go without drinking for 4 hours today to test again! phew!
dtd last night anyway so will again tonight, and tomorrow just to cover us!

xxx

Still no ewcm, but solid smiley this morning.............I'm confused. I usually get both xxx

Still no AF.. I'm 2 days late going by my last cycle. It sounds stupid but I'm scared of testing. I'm scared of being pregnant again, like I'm already expecting I'll miscarry again. Also terrified I'm not ready to be a mum!

sophia hugs - it's hard isn't it? After going through a mc I think we are so much more aware of everything that could go wrong and it doesn't feel real and then when it does it's terrifying. Are you usually pretty regular?

clara so pleased for you that it is def a new pregnancy. What are your weeks/days?

frankie congrats on the smiley :)

Hurrah for the 6 week mark vap I have just passed it too and this is probably about the point I mc before so feeling slightly relieved although scared about how much worse it would be to mc in this 2nd half.

Hope your move has gone well northern :)

Welcome grapefruit this thread has been a great help to me and it's good to know you're not alone. There are a few BFPs recently which is exciting but we all know how precious and fragile they are so it's good to have company.

I'm 6+2 now, have been feeling a bit sick and slightly sore boobs. Both those symptoms are reassuring though as I don't remember getting either last time. I haven't called the Dr or anything still. Is that bad? I think it's easier at the moment just to not think about it too much and going to the midwife will make it much more real. I can't really see what advantage it is going now, I'm thinking of calling when I get to 8 weeks but then I wonder if it's better to call sooner for scan bookings etc. Any ideas? Am I just being stupid?

Thanks April.My cycle has varied since coming off the pill and then from the miscarriage, but it's not been longer than 27 days.

In my area you self-refer to a group 'booking appointment' session at about 7 weeks, then get your midwife booking appointment after that and they sort out scans, so don't need to do anything till 7/8 weeks-ish I don't think. You're not being stupid. Maybe call yours docs and ask what their procedure is? I felt silly last time cause I went to the doctor as soon as I got BFP and they didn't even test - just assumed I was right :-)

How are things going Vap

April it doesn't sound stupid at all.

We still haven't even DTD yet. OH has been really quite under the weather all weekend. Hopefully we will manage before he goes away on sunday.

sophia yes maybe I'll call them and see. Last time I phoned at about 4 weeks, they told me to pick up a pack and they booked me in for a midwife appointment at 6 weeks. I started bleeding before that and went to the EPU, the midwife then called me right after my early scan (which showed everything was fine) to cancel my appointment which I found very difficult because as far as I was concerned I'd just heard good news. She was very abrupt on the phone saying 'sorry to hear your news' when I didn't have any bad news yet and I think the memory of it is making me not feel great at the prospect of a mw appointment. She obviously knew that it was unlikely though because at my next scan 10 days later baby had gone.

I think everywhere must do it differently though :s

Also I would like to find out the possibility about an early scan but my DH is reluctant and says he doesn't think they just give them out! But I keep reading on here about people going for them but maybe they're all paying?

April that is awful. Finding out like that. I would ask about the early scan. I got told that I get one automatically because I miscarried last time.

Evening all

clara I don't blame you wanting to push your scan date back. I'm kind of scared they won't see anything when they scan me but I'm hopeful they will rescan me again in a few days if so. Or I'll go private if nhs won't do it again. If you do go on 7th I'll be on a very close day too!

brenna snow? Jealous!!

Welcome grapefruit. Sorry you've found yourself here but everyone is lovely and supportive.

frankie so exciting about your static smiley. Have you managed to make the most of it? Has dp hidden the tests yet? Does he not know its like leaving sweets in front of a kid and tell them not to touch? Ha!

sophia how late will you go before you test? Fingers crossed! I understand your fear of being pregnant again. Us lucky bfp people are all pretty scared of mc. I don't think it will ever go away...

april sorry I was wrong, I'm not 6 I'm 5+1. I think ur was hopeful thinking writing 6w. Regarding calling Dr its up to you and whatever will keep you calmer. If it will stress you out contacting them then don't but if they will give you an early scan then if may help relieve fear. Such a difficult one. Your last experience sounds awful so I'm not surprised about you are a more than a little hesitant. It's certainly worth asking for a scan, the worst they can do is say no.

brenna sorry about not dtd. Are you in your fertile period at the min?

So, today I had my blood test which I'm hopeful for a score of 1200+. I'll get the results on Friday. Dr is calling back. So long as i don't bleed between now and then and my figures go up sufficiently I'll get a scan w/c 7th dec. fingers crossed. I've had an awful day at work today. My boss gave me hell about being off last week and not detailing my sickness to him in the manner he expected. I sent him my sick note and perhaps not the most flowery email but wtf? So I of course didn't tell him why I was off which angered him more as he is so bloody nosey and hates not knowing every minute detail about things. I must have apologised about 6 times for being "disrespectful" "thoughtless" and countless other words he used to describe my "appalling behaviour". What the actual fuck! What a bastard. It may not sound like it but I have calmed down about it now. I'm pretty scared though as my spotting has stopped. I know you'll think I'm mad for being bothered by this but I'm scared this is the next step to mc as last time, brown spotting for a day, nothing for 2 days and then mc. I had kind of got used to the spotting and now it stopping along with the massive stress of work today I'm terrified this could be the start of the end.

Bastard boss!

Oh Vap that is awful. My boss was lovely last time. Falling over himself to make sure I knew I didn't NEED to be in work and should only be there if I chose to be. He kept checking I was ok. From the moment I told him I was pregnant he kept checking I was feeling fine. He asked me more often than DH. Please don't let yours stress you, that can't help. I can understand you worrying about the lack of symptoms. I have everything crossed for you that this time it is a good sign not a bad one.

According to Ovia, we aren't in the fertile period right now. That should start just as he goes away. I think that seems a bit late though (that may just be wishful thinking that I am not going to waste this month). OH needs a few days of practice before he can 'finish' though, due to problems caused by an op he had a few years ago (he got circumcised due to phimosis - tight foreskin getting stuck). Now he doesn't have many nerves left in that area. So we really do need to get warmed up now in case I ovulate around the time he leaves (which would be cd 14 so possible).

Everything crossed for your test Sophia.

vap your boss sounds like a complete prick!!! please don't let him stress you out too much, you have enough going on.

and no, the tests are still sitting there. I have told him I gave them to him in a moment of feeling strong willed, but the more I see them and the more time goes on the more I want to swipe them back!! I'll go mental if he doesn't hide them when I'm out at work tomorrow!!

Brenna get warming that man up! no need to write the month off, his little guys can stay up there for a good while so you never know!

April my early pregnancy unit told me to contact them as soon as I know I'm pregnant next time for an early scan, no need for a referral. might be worth a wee phonecall tomorrow?

xxx

Also still no cm for me.......not sure if test a dud? when I ejected stick the line is nice and dark, but who knows. dtd anyway, it's enjoyable if nothing else xxx

Just got home, did a test and got a BFP!

Then straight away started googling to find out if I was at a greater risk of miscarrying because I've had a few drinks in the last couple of weeks (like two glasses of wine on a couple of nights, and a couple of vodka lemonades on another). I'm going to drive myself mad aren't I?

ah congrats sophia!!!! Great news.

yes, you'll drive yourself mad like we all do - STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE! if only I practised what I preached!
how far on are you then? xxx

Sophia! Fantastic!! So pleased for you!!

Vap, so sorry you've had a crap day.

I've had an early scan today at the EPU after all the cramps. Had a flicking heartbeat. They said it was so tiny that a few days ago they wouldn't have been able to see anything. Frankie paying for a private one at 8 weeks costing £35

Frankie hope you get the positive soon!

Sorry scan info was for April!

Thank you!! I'm only 4 weeks and 2 days by LMP and I ovulated on either 14th or 15th (faint line on both days). Not sure what to do now except give up caffeine and make sure I remember to take my folic acid..

And wonder how I'm going to get away with not drinking over Christmas..

mascara That's brilliant that you had a heartbeat - wonderful news!

Yey Sophia!! The relaxed approach worked for you! X

mascara lovely you saw a heartbeat, some good reassurance.

so exciting seeing all these bfps, so hope to be joining you all soon!

so my cm has gone like it did post ov last month, so I'm just going to assume with the static smiley that I did ov. I'm not feeling lucky this month tho and am going to try and not spend the next 12 days (haha, counting them already!) obsessing and stressing. easier said than done?!

vap how are you today? boss any better?! xxx

Congratulations Sophia So exciting!!! yet another BFP.

Mascara I am so glad you saw a heartbeat. So beautiful.

Still no DTD here.

Amazing news sophie congratulations! I don't think there is much else you can do at this stage, just fx for a sticky baby.

Lovely to see so much good news on here today, mascara that's wonderful about your heartbeat. I bet you were so nervous before the scan? Was that one on the nhs?

frankie can't wait until you get your BFP too, you've been so supportive of everyone on this thread, I hope it's really soon! Found a good book yet?

vap to echo everyone else, your boss is a knob

brenna that sounds so difficult, I hope you're doing ok and not worrying about it too much. How many days until he goes away?

aw thanks April - im reading a book called 'the chimp paradox', not fiction - im delving in to my mind a little bit. It's really interesting, the guy who wrote it (professor Steve Peters) worked with lots of athletes and helped them focus - its basically about 'taming' the part of your brain that makes you act out of character. I'm probably not explaining it well, but I'm enjoying it and it's interesting (enough so I've been reading on my commute instead of sleeping!)(ok, once, but still!)

Brenna when is your next bd planned?! sorry if that's a bit weird to be asking, but we share alot on here! xxx

Congrats Sophia brilliant news! mascara so pleased to hear you were able to see a heartbeat.
Had a Drs appointment this evening, its roughly 6 months since my mc so I wanted to ask for more tests. We got a referral for a SA, depending on outcome that may need repeated, then I'll have bloods done again and swabs (forgot to ask what the swabs are for, does anyone know?) then potentially have the blue dye procedure. I'm pleased with that, feel I can relax a little now we've got a plan in hand.

Lol. No problems Frankie. Only on here do we plan the act in advance. We were aiming for Friday, Sunday, Tuesday (today), Thursday and Saturday. DH leaves on Sunday. Friday and Sunday likely not to 'finish' (due to sensitivity issues) but they were the warm up for today, thursday and saturday. Without a warm up not much chance of thursday and saturday being worth doing. We are probably too early anyway. He gets back friday and my peak fertility is that thursday according to Ovia. Sadly Friday and Saturday are almost certainly going to be just warm up and no good due to same issues. Total waste of a month. And the worst bit is that last month he spent the whole month asking me about every second day when I would be fertile this month and I spent the whole bloody month telling him I would have no idea until I had a period as I my cycle was likely to be wonky that month due to the miscarriage. So I felt shit and guilty for a month that I couldn't just get my body straight back into it and now after all the pressure on me he won't get his act in gear. I am right royally grumpy right now.