TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Vap sorry you are having such a rubbish time at the minute. Hoping that you have a postive outcome.

The earliest they'll do them here is 8 weeks, so my early scan is booked in three weeks today. That will take me past 7+5 where I started to mc last time. I'll be nearer 9 weeks so hopefully I should see more. These next three weeks can not come quick enough. No real symptoms apart from the soreness. Can feel a cold coming on now though. I've bought another test this will be test #5, im just so paranoid.

Sorry for your losses newcomers. Take care all x

What kind of test is it? Have you kept your others to compare it against? I'm doing one every morning at the min, total lunatic territory here but it's all I can do to try to keep sane. Where is the pain? Is your scan appointment NHS or private? If NHS you've done well to get it so early! Have you had any spotting recently?

Vap sorry to hear the spotting has started again. It's so scary. Have you asked your gp for bHcG tests? Mine offered that straight away, 2 tests 48 hrs apart to see if the levels are rising or falling. At least it will tell you one way or another what's going on, instead of having to wait in this awful limbo. to you, it's crap I know.

Hi maud I had 2 X hcg this week, monday and Wednesday. I'm waiting for the results tomorrow afternoon. Although I don't know if this is going to help put my mind at rest as there has been so much spotting today. I think I'll ask for another blood test next week and see if levels are still rising as they should? That might help my state of mind? It is an awful limbo. I'm pleased you've said that, thanks, as you've promoted me to ask for another and I'm sure she will agree with the continued spotting.

Still have everything crossed for you Vap and Mascara. I really hope it is all ok.

got everything crossed here too girls, been thinking of you.

hi lolly, sorry for your loss. I'm glad you've found us though to share your journey with.

using cb digi OPK tomorrow again, CD13 tomorrow and have dtd days 8,10 and 12 so far........

feel like I am wishing the days away. must get stuck in to that book I promised I would to take my mind off things!

xxx

frankie morning. Have you don't your CB yet? Have you had a flashing smiley yet? Are you a regular person and expect your static smiley today? Good luck with it and dtd!

Thank you vap - flashing smiley today! I'm expecting static on Sunday so thinking maybe miss testing tomorrow?

how are you today? let us know how you get on today with your results - I've got it all crossed for you hunny xxx

Morning all, I'm here at 5+6 and so far so good but finding it hard not to worry or assume everything is about to go wrong. We've just found out some close friends are 9 weeks and I'm tempted to think how nice it will be if we have babies at the same time but can't bring myself to believe that could actually happen. DH is being really supportive and keeps saying 'I've just got a good feeling' but at the same time I can tell he's worried because he keeps asking if everything is ok when I go to the toilet.

Sorry you're still spotting vap I'm surprised the NhS won't do a scan tho, I had an early scan straight away when I was bleeding when I had my mc and that was only 5 weeks. My dr actually advised me to go to A&E to see if they could get me an earlier scan than she could (which they did) so if it gets worse maybe you could try that? Although having said that my scan showed everything was fine so I must not have been far enough through the mc so maybe that's the argument for waiting a bit longer. Sending you lots of love and good thoughts that everything will be ok

Good luck frankie!

Hope everyone else is doing well

Good luck for Sunday Frankie.

That sounds like good news April. I hope everything continues smoothly. Regarding the scans, my EPAC team do an extra scan on you as standard on the pregnancy after a mc. They normally do one at 8 weeks but advised me that since Rowan probably died a day or two after the scan I had at 8 weeks last time and it wasn't picked up until the scan I had at 10 weeks that I should wait until 10 weeks to make sure that if there is a problem they pick it up. It makes sense. The scans can't prevent the worst from happening, all they can do is stop you going too long thinking all is ok. I find the idea that I am going to be walking around for a long time, probably long after the 10 weeks, convinced that something is wrong and I won't know it quite sad. Assuming I ever managed to get upduffed again. Urgh. Grim.

Exciting frankie, how many sticks do you have left? I know they are expensive but just thinking it may not be a good idea to miss testing tomorrow just in case you get that static smiley sooner than expected. Not telling you what to do but here is a question for you... If you get to Sunday/Monday and there is no static will you be wishing you had tested just incase? Best of luck ovulating this cycle! Looking forward to hearing about your static smiley

april great to hear things are all going well. Bless MrApril he sounds lovely xxx. MrVap has never been so affectionate and caring. This pregnancy lark does things to these men, and for the better!

NHS weren't interested in a scan last time, in fact they were very abrupt and rude when I spoke with someone on the phone, not sure who it was but it was some lady from the place they do scans. She told me they will not do a scan under any circumstances under 7 weeks. I'll ask the dr again today when I speak with her about the chances of having an early scan, not holding my breath. Must be another of these postcode lottery things. These private scans are not very expensive at all. The Solihull one is £70 at 6w. I have no issue with that at all. I'd pay that today just to give me some peace of mind. I know that anything can happen after the scan but I think I'll become a bit of an addict to them. I've found them generally for about £45 locally for a scan anytime from 7w, one place does 2 scans for £80. They are very reasonably priced. I thought it was going to be a couple of hundred a pop, don't get me wrong there are lots of places who do charge a couple of hundred per pop. I'll do the 6w one on my own (if we make it that far) as we are 2hrs away from Solihull, luckily I drive there for work regularly. Then others will be done with dp closer to home.

brenna how do you feel about waiting for 10w for the scan?

I think that I just want some early scans, 6w just to see a heartbeat, then just before Xmas before we break the news to immediately family as there is no way I can hide not drinking over Xmas from them, im not one to turn down a drink. I see it that if we do lose this baby after the a scan I don't want to carry it around for weeks and weeks before having it removed. I'd rather know sooner rather than later so we can start again. That probably sounds awful and very matter of fact but it doesn't do anyone any good, emotionally or physically, carrying around a non viable pregnancy for weeks after the loss. It was only a month ago we were talking abiotic going down the private IVF route so a few scans here and there are nothing in comparison to the thousands we would have been spending. This of course all only happens if we make it to 6w......

Will be back on with blood test results later.

Good point Vap, I have 10 sticks left so no need for me to be quite so measly with them!! I'll be dtd tomorrow anyway however if I missed that static it would totally mess with my mind!!!

Brenna, im the same as you and will be scanned by epas as soon as I am pregnant again, if it is only one however I want to hold out as long as possible. last little bean didn't get passed 7+4 so it will be a loooooong month to wait. can't get my hopes up too high, but I want it so bad! DH is being awesome about it, although he doesn't yet know about my stash of pregnancy tests!! we're having a nice night in tomorrow so will tell him then/pass them over.

April I can understand how you feel, youll want to share with friends so much, but the heartache stays with you doesn't it? I have good feelings about the pregnancies on this thread tho

xxx

Have been feeling a little queasy and headachy the last couple of days - is ovulation nausea a thing, or am I taking SS to the extreme?!! xxx

I don't know if I will change my attitude when I am pregnant but right now I would rather be scanned at 10 weeks than 8 weeks as the last thing I want is false reassurance. I would rather wait until we are well past that point that I now perceive as the danger point. Plus that would mean only a couple of weeks from the 10 week to the 12 week scan and I would get to see a lot more detail at 10 weeks than at 8. I would hate to have another positive scan, only to lose the baby when I have some hope again. That was far worse than losing it earlier when I was prepared for that eventuality. A scan at 8 weeks would do nothing at all to reassure me and would leave me 4 weeks to the next point of reassurance. Of course once I am nursing a tiny bean inside me I may just want to see it NOW! lol

You are right about not wanting to carry a non-viable pregnancy around for weeks. Knowing I had been walking around for 2 weeks with my baby gone already and then waiting another week and a half to miscarry was a killer last time. I really don't want to have to do that again but I equally feel that if I get scanned at 8 weeks and the baby dies shortly after then I will be wasting even more time waiting until 12 or 13 weeks to discover that when I could have found it out by delaying my scan to 10 weeks. It sucks, no matter what you do you are going to worry you have made the wrong choice.

vap how are you feeling? did you get your blood results back?

mascara hope you're doing okay over there - is it boob soreness or cramping that's giving you grief?

frankie that is ace news. happy sexy weekend!

and april so glad everything's going so well so far, here's to much more of that to come!

and of course, welcome lolly - it's a shit situation that's brought you here, no doubt, but you're in fine company. we all get it and are here to listen and rant or cheer with you as you need.

brenna, i totally get what you're saying about scans - i guess it depends on when your 'danger zone' or point of maximum fear is. i never saw a heartbeat last time at 6.5weeks or 8.5 when i was rescanned, so i'm just desperate to know there's a heartbeat this time around. but i totally understand that it can give false reassurance - just sucks that no-one can give you a guarantee at any point...

i finally got my hcg levels back. my GP only sent me for one test so the receptionist phoned me to say 'yes, you're positive for hcg but that could be retained tissue from your ERPC'. no shit, sherlock - actually told the GP that before i even had the blood test. ANYWAY, went down to the EPU who gave me an internal scan - no retained tissue seen, so then sent me for a second blood test. four very nervous hours later, they called me to say that my levels rose from 406 on monday to 1694 on thursday, so it's a confirmed new pregnancy. PHEW.

only now i've just got to cross everything and hope that the earlier spotting and disappearing boob soreness didn't mean anything, despite past experience... easy, right?!

sorry for massive post. just wanted to stop in and say hello to all you lovely ladies. here's to happy weekends.

CLara that is so exciting . Everything crossed you make it through the danger point.

Just popped my head in to see how vap got on? Lovely to hear good news Clara .

Evening all

clara fantastic news! And what great numbers for hcg. How many weeks and days were you at your latest blood test?

I had my results too

Mon was 4w1d 168
Wed was 4w3d 300

She is printing me another blood test form for next week too and is looking into getting me an early scan booked in for 6 w if it lasts that long.

Still concerned as have had loads of brown discharge/spotting today and last night and sore boobs have disappeared but were really sore 2 days ago.

It's just such a crap waiting game.

I'm really pleased with the results and hope it keeps me sane until I speak with her again on Friday next week.

I'm just looking at it as I can't do anything to stop a mc if it's going to happen so just need to sit it out and wait and see.

Just hoping for no red to appear....

Thanks for asking ladies! It's fingers crossed time!

Good luck dtd Frankie

I've also attached a chart that tells you what hcg should be....

The last bullet point of that chart is important to take note of. Your results have nearly doubled which I think I've read is good too. Just hope the spotting stops for you soon. Night night all, overdid it at work yesterday so early bedtime for me!

I am wondering how I ever god pregnant the first time. AF has left the building today and since OH needs some build up to get back into the swing of things I decided to get started tonight. The other day when AF was in full swing I had decided to cook a nice meal for him as it was 6 months since we got married. So I texted him telling him to come home hungry that night (he is prone to snacking a lot and spoiling his appetite). He came home expecting to get lucky despite knowing AF was in full swing. So today I thought I would be funny and text him saying 'Come home hungry tonight. I'm not planning a fancy dinner this time. '. He came home saying 'I'm hungry' then dashed in to the kitchen and looked disappointed. It turns out he ignored the rest of the message after 'come home hungry' as he was excited about dinner. He then rushed some food on while I was finishing putting on the washing and cooked only for himself. DTD hasn't really happened as he wasn't in the mood. facepalm

Great news Clara!!! And brill your levels are rising Vap!!!

Brenna love the story!!! Made me chuckle

Vap Thanks was at the gp at 10.00 done my opk before hand so nothing on that no LH surge .
Gp can't explain my 2day AF .
She reccomend stop taking pregnacare conception & settle for just folic acid !
I can't find seven seas I think it's just boots that sell it .
But I will get .
GP said I may not have ovulated this month (that's a first for me as well as short AF) is it me or do you notice more when ttc ?
I am to go for blood tests the week of my AF & cycle day 21.
Trying to catch up on everyone's updates now !
I work a lot atm I'm a dance teacher so competitions & Christmas shows coming up so I'm a night bird ;-)

Maud can u explain bchg tests . I have been offered tests from my GP just not sure if they are the same or not . She did not give me much info she didn't even tell me what they where looking for but to get one on the week of my AF and then cycle day 21

Maud never mind I got hcg when miscarrying to see if levels go up or not !!
Not sure what the bloods now are for