TTC #1 after miscarriage - looking for some buddies

[Clareinthemiddle]

I have been ttc for 10 months. I'm 34.
Took it very easy the first few months and then went for it with OPKs, no caffeine, reduced alcohol and got my BFP in May, but sadly mmc at 12 weeks (a few days before my scan). The little thing had not made it past 5.5 weeks :(
Took July off to recover and then back on it again in August. Heard/read a lot about increased fertility the few months after a miscarriage so was really convinced August would be my month, but af arrived yesterday. Absolutely devastated.
Can feel a very lonely place, especially as I either have friends who conceived within 1-3 months, or those who always knew they would have issues so started with IVF a few years back and have thankfully all been successful. I guess I just thought I would have an easy ride, as my sisters did, but no such luck.
Thought it would be nice to share the journey with others dealing with similar situations or with success stories after a miscarriage. Please say hello :)

Vap sorry meant to reply to the first part also .
Yes I should be 8 weeks if I am
My last AF only last two days & I'm thinking it wasn't my period at all .
I don't think I'll get much slew tonight !
My Bf is working quite early so Won't be home for it but hoping for that BFP so much been feeling really bad lately .

Thanks you Frankie & April
*
April* I was one week away from a scan which hurts as I never seen anything ,
When I was mc and went to the emergency room it had already passed which was worse because it was in the hospital waiting room toliets in the general area which has blue lights so people don't so drugs etc .. It is an inner city maternity hospital so I couldn't see properly etc !
I was due into the EPU the following day they didn't bother with scans at all even tough my bloods where lower that what they should have been according to calculations .
Feeling really sick & nervous to test .
My best friend & work collegue told me she was pregnant 2 weeks ago I can't help but feel I want it more than ever .: I did any way AF always brings tears no matter what !

dancing hope you manage some sleep, will be on 1st thing to check your news!!

Clara glad I made you laugh I'm genuinely really excited about it, haha!
also, have lots of ewcm tonight, will use cb digi in the morning to see what's what xxx

Morning
frankie and dancing what do your opk and hpt say this morning?
I know it's early but I struggle to sleep in when I want to see my test.
The good news is that today's hpt is definitely stronger than yesterday's. Will post a pic when it's day light. Still spotting though. What do you think this means? All ok or due to end soon? I'm feeling hopeful again.

Still nothing here - getting frustrated now!

I'm now pretty certain stress of work and home meant I didn't ov as expected, regardless of what CB said! Cd44 and yesterday's fr test - negative!

northern I'm so sorry to hear that

Apologies if I miss anyone, lots to catch up on.

northern you must be so fed up! Perhaps a trip to the docs if nothing happens in another week or so?

Brenna don't forget that clare got her bfp the month she thought she wasn't in with a chance because OH was away. Hope you niece gets sorted soon, awful how she's been mucked about.

Vap stronger line is promising. Could you resist the urge to keep testing? re testing is gonna increase your worry, you need some distraction! Xmas shopping? Box set? Cooking?

Clara I've had on off boob aching so its not every day that they hurt. Glad you are OK too April.

dancing I really don't know what to think about your situation. Surely if you were 8wk pg you would have tested positive anytime of day? Although a 2 day AF last month is odd. Hope you get an answer soon x

Frankie EWCM! Get DTD!

Hi to everyone else toooooo xx

Nope nothing ! I used clearblue digital so first morning so something would have came up on that .
I don't know now if the pregnacare conception are making me bloated & feel how I'm feeling.
What do you all use ?
I'm going to make an appointment with the gp to see if she can recommend anything.

I'm not out of the woods till my AF arrives :-)

Fingers crossed for you Vap, no bleeding is a good sign

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I'm feeling totally rotten these past few days. Haven't actually felt well since my mc at all. It's now 16 days since I started bleeding, and 13 since my erpc. Bleeding has been stopped for about 8 days. My bowels are all messed up, I feel sick every morning till about lunchtime, have zero appetite, and now feel as though I'm getting a cold - slight headache, sore throat and sniffles. Feeling v sorry for myself!

hugs to you Maud, its such a hard thing to be going through, you just want to feel back to normal to start moving forward don't you? I hope it's not too long and you're feeling better.

vap a stronger line is great! keeping distracted is a great idea, get on to Netflix and watching some boxsets , or stuck in to a good book? I know it's easy to give advice and you'll be worrying, its only natural - but remember every pregnancy is different and I've read of lots of women who spot throughout their healthy pregnancy.

Dancing I use the seven seas trying for a baby, have never felt any side effects from them at all. (and I think they are cheaper than the pregnacare! ) savers sell them for about £3 a box i think.

northern you must be so frustrated, I hope something happens for you soon.

Sunday I dtd last night, but OPK was a blank circle this morning! according to ovia I'm not due to ov until Sunday, I think I'll save a stick tomorrow and test again on Friday.

how is everyone else doing? xxx

Maud are you loose with your bowels? Some of the medication I took before erpc gave me really bad diarrhoea and I didn't settle down for a few weeks after. The stress doesn't help with bowels either tho I also get IBS. Peppermint tea helps me, think it's just a placebo effect but it works. Are you off work still?

Frankie I'll be too see my gp Friday , but I will most defo be trying something else !

Thank you :)

Thanks frankie and sunday.

TMI I veer between constipation and the opposite. I also just feel as though I have a brain fog every day. I'm wondering now if I might have thyroid issues - might ask my GP for a test if I'm not feeling well in a week or so.

I actually didn't take any formal time off work at all. I'm an academic, and the mc happened during reading week. I have managed to keep my teaching going last week and this week, although I did have to finish a seminar early yesterday as I was feeling so bad.

Vap hoping all works out for you!

Sunday hope you're ok. Just sore here too.

Ploughing on. Hoping you ladies are all ok x

Hi everyone can i please join. Been ttc #1 for over a year and a half finally got my bfp 2 weeks ago but last night my world came ctashing down on me i started to misscarry. I cant stop crying i feel so sad, emotional and empty i feeling very angry to. This is my first pregnacy and i cant see myself coming back from this. I dont no how i will ever get over ot to the point that i want to try again im completly heart broken xx

Maud your hormones will still be all over the place. I bled for 3 weeks, had a week off then started cramping and bleeding again and I cried as I was so fed up and just wanted it over. That turned out to be me ovulating rather than there being retained tissue as I initially assumed. I am now on my first period afterwards. My luteal phase was longer than normal, I had all the signs that AF would begin the normal day and then nothing for a further 4 days, now I am getting all my usual IBS/wind/cramping/PMS all over again. I am hoping this cycle everything will have settled down. I was warned by all my friends who have had miscarriages that I would get sick with every bug going for the first few weeks after it, thankfully I have a cast iron immune system and haven't caught any so far. I know I am fed up waiting for things and you will be too but you will get better, it just takes time. Big hugs from me.

rant alert I am so fed up, work is shit right now, nothing is working, probably won't get the chance to DTD during my fertile window and I get SAD in the winter anyway. This winter is going to be so hard. I keep trying to remind myself about how lucky I am, great friends and family, amazing DH, I am in work (at least for now). I have so much to be happy about, I just don't feel it right now. Uffff rant over

Hi lolly. Welcome to the club nobody wants to be in. I am so sorry for your news. It is really, really shit. As you can see above I have up and down days and on the down days I feel pretty dark. I keep telling myself that my choices are let it destroy me or take it on the chin and keep going. If I don't try again, then I most certainly can't get pregnant, so I will keep trying for a bit yet. It didn't take me as long as it did for you, so I have it easier from that point of view but I am nearly 38 so I don't have a lot of time left. Right now you are going to be suffering form all the hormonal changes too, so you will feel 10 times worse. I hope things feel a bit better when you have a little distance from it. At least here you have people who understand and sympathise. Big hugs.

Hi lolly welcome. Hope you'll find support here, it's a sad place to be but I have found that it helps to talk with others experiencing the same.

Brenna thanks I think I remember you from the May antenatal thread, is that right? I was on it too, until my first mc. Then I was on the June one until I had my second mc. I think everything went back to normal so quickly after the first one (I got pregnant the day my bleeding stopped) that I expected the same this time round. I can sympathise with you on the difficulties in DTD in fertile periods - my DH works away Mon-Thurs so it's been hard enough scheduling 'windows' up to now! Here's to lots of relaxed time over Christmas and a chance to recharge batteries on all fronts. What do you work as? Will you get a good break?

Hi Maud, yup that was me. I managed to make it to 10 weeks, then we found out Rowan had died about 8 weeks. I didn't miscarry until 11.5 weeks. I'm a research technician in a university lab up at the big hospital here. I work on a hereditary cancer syndrome. I am getting so frustrated as I am trying to turn stem cells that have been made from adult skin into pancreatic cells and the beggars keep dying at the first hurdle. OH is a scientist as well and is away for a workshop in Cambridge in december. At least after that we won't be apart for a long time, so plenty of chances after that. I have about 10 days off at christmas unless the cells become super awkward and finally start working. Then I will be in every day for them. Right now I actually wish they will just stay as they are until January, as awful as that sounds. I had cells and a student and my boss was away when I miscarried (and there are only me and my boss in the team), so I had to work through the miscarriage and then take a couple of days off afterwards. I am on 6 days weeks at the moment and I am so tired mentally and physically that I really need a break. Our holidays were taken up with weddings this year (we had 1 here and 1 in Italy where DH is from). It has been so long since I had a real break.

How about you, are you off for christmas? What do you and your DH work as?

Hi Lolly, I'm so sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 7 weeks at the end of August and I know how absolutely devastated I felt -I literally couldn't stop crying for days. It is entirely normal to feel how you feel. I just want to say that things have got better for me - I was anxious for a few months, but I really feel back to myself and a lot more relaxed about trying to conceive again. Just take good care of yourself and let yourself cry if you need to xx

I'm an academic Brenna. So is DH, although he commutes away during the week. So we will have a good break over Christmas - I'm not back teaching till Feb and DH is on leave in semester 2 - lots of DTD opportunities! We were fortunate enough to get pregnant first cycle of TTC and then within days of my first miscarriage so my anxiety about missing fertile windows was unnecessary, in the past at least.

My work is incredibly busy at the moment - we have over recruited students two years in a row, we have the highest student staff ratio in the university, everyone has to keep their research going as well, I have admin roles coming out of my ears and I just feel exhausted. It sucks to go through the tiredness and nausea of early pregnancy and then lose the baby on top of that.

Welcome along lolly, sorry to hear your news.

Maud, I second peppermint tea. Sorry you are feeling crappy at the mo.

Still nothing here, I had a cycle that was nearly 90 days earlier this year as i had a cyst on my ovary but it took my docs about 6 weeks to investigate it (by that time AF had turned up) so I'm going to hold out for a bit before going as I'm pretty certain they will tell me it's a stressful job combined with a house move and the stress of ttc that's doing it!

Glad you get a break Maud. Teaching is exhausting.

I hope AF appears soon Northern

Hi All

dancing good luck with your dr appointment. What time is it?

maud hope you feel better soon xx it's just so crap Joseph these things affect us!

lolly I'm so sorry for your loss. I know nothing anyone says can make it any easier but you're with a nice bunch here who can support you through it.

brenna how crap having to deal with your mc whilst having to juggle work. Nightmare. I had mine on Aug b/h so had that day to cry and fall apart then went back to work on the Tuesday to try to keep my mind off it. It was a good thing to do I think.

northern sorry about awol af. Nightmare. Hope she arrives soon!

I'm desperately unhappy tonight, had loads more brown spotting/discharge today, that takes it to 6 days of spotting. I'm so scared it's all happening again. We made it to 4+6 last time. Today we are 4+4. The next few days are going to be hell. It's just so horrible that I'm just waiting to start bleeding at a time that should be so exciting and full of joy

mascara any news from you? Will you be having an early scan? I've found one that will do it from 6w in Solihull so if we make it that far I'll be in there immediately. The local clinics only do them from 7 or 8w