Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

RESPONSE Trial for Recurrent Miscarriage - Thread 4

624 replies

Vicki272 · 05/08/2015 00:24

Thread for all ladies on the RESPONSE trial - all stages welcome, for a bit of well needed silliness and good old fashioned all round advice and support!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Kazz2112 · 10/08/2015 12:54

Bloods done. got to have bloods on Wednesday and possibly on Friday too. Just focusing on our holiday two weeks tomorrow. Just hope everything is sorted one way or another by then. I need that holiday

Marchgirl · 10/08/2015 13:25

Glad they've taken the bloods so you can see what's going on kazz. Will they phone you with today's levels or not? Rest up till wed x

Sorry about the bfns ladies. Claire, it must be such a worry but try not to think the worst. Really hoping time passes quickly til your appt (or preferably that you get a surprise bfp before it)

Vicki, frer are the way forward. Sensitivity is around 7, whereas the ic state 10 (I'd say more like 20 to 40)

MAS7 · 10/08/2015 13:27

Sorry to hear youre having such a shit time kazz. Hopefully the bloods will give an answer on Wednesday when you see what the levels are doing. Surely a scan wouldn't be much use yet as you wouldn't expect a heartbeat anyway, maybe too early to expect a yolk sac too?

Great you've got a holiday coming up, definitely well deserve whatever the outcome. Where are you going?

Choccywoccydodah · 10/08/2015 13:31

They found a sac and yolk with me at just over 4 weeks and was going on hol the next day for 4 weeks hence they scanned that early that time, so they should be able to see something! No hb at that point obvs.
I was always mainly negative on Internet cheapies too so I don't personally recommend them (showed neg on them when they found sac and yolk!)
Hope you get some results this aft kazz!!

Choccywoccydodah · 10/08/2015 13:32

Recommend super drug tests as well as frer x

Indiedog · 10/08/2015 13:34

Hope you get done news soon Kazz, it's the not knowing which is the worst. An answer either way means you can get on. Fingers crossed still xx

Original poster
Vicki272 · 10/08/2015 14:03

Thanks ladies... might try and hold off tomorrow and try the frer a bit closer to the time maybe? i don't think that I am - had no major symptoms. Sore boobs (moderately) and a bit of a dicky tummy - really tired too but could all be explained in other ways.

Also doesn't help that still not sure of cycle!!

Will be deflating if not as really feel that we could not have done more this time around! Will have to wait and see...

Kazz - try and rest up lovely. Hope they call you with bloods today. Good that you have the holiday to look forward to, will do you the world of good either way.

xx

OP posts:
MAS7 · 10/08/2015 14:55

Wow choccy! Just goes to show we are all so different, wish the early weeks could be so much simpler. I've never seen yolk till over 5 weeks! Hope you're doing ok kazz.

Choccywoccydodah · 10/08/2015 15:20

Think I was 4+3 MAS. I didn't think this scan me so I lied Blush if I'm honest. It's only because I wanted my mind put at ease. I was told it was either the start of a mc or is lost a twin. I never bled properly that cycle, just little spotting so i was convinced I had caught properly but I was scanned in hol 2 weeks later and nothing there :(
Not saying that's the same for you kazz. I bled a bit with this one too x

MAS7 · 10/08/2015 15:55

Don't think any two mc stories will ever be the same - there is just no predicting what will happen...

I had a scan at 4+3 with last mc and saw the tiniest empty sac. I was being scanned for routine gynae and just happened to be newly pregnant. That pregnancy later grew to have yolk and fetal pole but never saw hb. At the time I was frantically googling for other people's scan results at the same stage, just goes to show how pointless it is comparing yourself!

Choccywoccydodah · 10/08/2015 18:09

Google was my enemy!! The Internet and this took over my life, and time I'll never get back. I know he'll never remember, but I dread to think what I missed with ds Sad I was just so consumed and googling ALL the time. Dh picked up on it massively, but it just became obsessive trying to find an answer. In the end that's why I gave up. I had a son and didn't want to do it anymore. Enjoyed my birthday in November, a holiday, Xmas and new year and felt like a massive weight had been lifted. L emailed me then rang me about the trial and we decided to see how we felt in January. Do left it up to me and I decided just one more go. Funny how as soon as you don't really think about it, it happens!

clairemorgan81 · 10/08/2015 19:11

choccy you sound like I am now. dh has started complaining how much time im on phone and I am far from the happy mummy/wife my ds & dh deserve. afterall ds is here and needs me. I'm so gutted that mc has made me like this. I hate them so much. just dont know how to stop it all x

MAS7 · 10/08/2015 19:53

I know exactly what you mean choccy, I spent last Christmas Eve in hospital having a d&c. It was the first year that ds really understood about Christmas and i was so angry with myself for not being able to spend Christmas eve with him as I'd been looking forward to. It was the final straw on a long list of things that mc had ruined for ds (in my eyes anyway).

Then I got the referral to Prof Q and just went along with it initially but once I met her and L&D etc it inspired me to keep going. Hopefully when you go to Cov Claire you will feel the same.

Kazz2112 · 10/08/2015 19:55

How come you ended up going down the Response route rather than the Coventry route MAs.

I'm feeling strangely calm atm. Not sure why!

Marchgirl · 10/08/2015 20:15

How's the bleeding kazz? Xx

MAS7 · 10/08/2015 20:22

I saw Prof Q, had all NHS tests which were fine. She recommended response was worth a go before going down the NK route. When I met L&D i was happy to be a guinea pig in return for the emotional support I would get which I think has played a big part in the success so far (touch wood!)

clairemorgan81 · 10/08/2015 20:42

I hope so mas. Im so angry with mc and how it's taken over my life and how it's made me miserable which then effects every aspect of my life and my poor ds.
funnily enough me and dh just had a talk he is fed up with how I'm being and how obsessed I am. he says we have ds and how lucky we are and that I can't keep going on like I am. he's so right, I started crying. I am obsessed, it rules my life. I think unhealthily do you think I need help?x

Original poster
Vicki272 · 10/08/2015 21:11

Claire, only you can decide what the right choice is. Talk to dh and make a decision together. There's more to life but only you will know what makes you happy.

Maybe get your head out of it all for a bit? It's sometimes hard to see the wood for the trees and all that!

That's my advice, for all the good it does...

All I know is that if all of these MCs have taught me anything its to treasure the little things.

Oh and I don't have a dc so I can't say I know exactly what you are going through. All I know is that I would do anything for a baby but that it does put a strain on relationships. Oh and I are in a little bit of a different place in that we have had our ups and downs but both really agree that we are both in the same place when it comes to doing whatever it takes.
Xx

OP posts:
MAS7 · 10/08/2015 21:42

It probably wouldn't do any harm to have a chat with your GP about it and see what they think. If you decide to go for counselling there is probably a massive waiting list anyway so may as well start the ball rolling.

I think someone said on this thread before about counselling.. how it was a good idea whatever path we end up following.

MAS7 · 10/08/2015 21:44

Totally get you on the obsessed by the way, it really is all consuming. I think it's normal for anyone that's been through what we have. Doesn't mean you should be able to cope with it on your own though. x x

Original poster
Vicki272 · 10/08/2015 22:20

Hope you don't take what I said in the wrong way Claire. Guess I am trying to say that it's hard to stay strong if you feel alone with it all.

It's not the same for the blokes... My oh said that a few times, they don't go through all the emotional and physical turmoil that we do.

Good idea from MAS on the gp.

Whatever you do, remember we are here to listen. Xx

OP posts:
Kazz2112 · 10/08/2015 23:06

I think sometimes it's an idea to talk to someone completely outside of everything... not going through the same as you ie. us, not immediately affected ie. you and DH, to help put things into perspective and help you step back and look at things more clearly.

I'm the same. I am completely obsessed but we don't have any children and we're both very much on the same page that we will do anything it takes to have a child but we have already discussed that unless we are blessed with twins, the chances are we will only have one child as what we are putting ourselves through is horrific.

The bleeding seems to have tapered off a bit March. It's still there. like watery red. But not as much. (Bur will probably have picked up again the next time I check) Don't really have much hope but it has crossed my mind that it's not been very clotty??? so im not sure what's going on. The discussion with Monten on the rmc thread has also made me think if i do pass anything, should I try to catch it / rescue it for testing?

Marchgirl · 11/08/2015 06:24

claire, i just want to come and give you a big hug. Only you can decide whether counselling is right for you, but don't feel like you've somehow failed if you ask for help. It's a hell of a lot for anyone to go through. I've actually found it helpful to tell a few people that I'm in counselling. I don't think they really understood the impact this was having on me. I think they just thought it was a few unfortunate events, but by telling them that i was in counselling (which is not something they would imagine me doing), it's helped them to understand that it's more than that.
I had a similar conversation with dh and found it quite upsetting. I know he was only saying it because he was worried about me, but it felt a bit like an attack when he said i wasn't myself and was a bit obsessed, when all i was doing was trying to do something for our family, but looking back he was right. It's so hard to step back though when you want something so badly and feel like time is against you.
I presume you will try another month til the trial is over? I wonder if it might feel like a bit of a relief once it is. You already know it's coming to an end, so perhaps once that added stress is out of the way it will feel more relaxed again?
And if you do decide to step back for a bit, there's more than one way to do that. You could just not actively ttc for a while (as in, no ov tackling, none of the crazy stuff we all do), or you could give yourself a complete break and go on the pill for a few months (or use other contraception). There's something quite empowering about taking a break on your own terms. I did it after mc 1, primarily because i could cope with going straight back into the HG of another pg. I went on the pill for 2 months and it was the best decision i made. Totally took the pressure off and dh and i were able to reconnect without worrying about an accidental pg. I know some people worry about going on the pill messing up their cycle and making it more difficult to conceive, but I've always found the opposite, that it puts me back in sync and i seemed more fertile immediately afterwards. Everyone is different though. Bit of a long way to say that taking a break isn't necessarily a bad thing. You've got a long pregnancy ahead of you and to go into it feeling fresher and ready wouldn't be a bad thing. It's a hard choice though, because that urge to conceive never goes away. big virtual hugs xx

Marchgirl · 11/08/2015 06:26

kazz, glad it's not been clotty. Could also be a haematoma that's gone (or any number of other things). I'm still holding the hope for you. Hopefully it will be clearer after your repeat bloods x

Original poster
Vicki272 · 11/08/2015 08:11

Kazz, that's good news I hope for you.

Funnily (or not) oh and I have already decided that 1 child will have to be enough as neither of us can go through this hell again... Despite the numerous, 'well you might find when you have one that it'd be easier the next time round' i just couldn't take the risk.

Feeling really crappy today... Angry with myself and the world and no real idea why!!

Needless to say another bfn this morning... Frer this time. Xx

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread