Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Of course Fatty, sorry you already said. Have you noticed any issues with it? I took my first dose tonight.

He's a bit better I think, thanks for asking. He slept through last night anyway thank goodness! One of his back molars seems to be cutting through so he's teething too poor little guy. At least this is the last set for now.

I know what you mean about round two, my throat is starting to feel sore again. I'm not even over the last cold & cough. Must be some mutated form I've got back from dh or ds...

I like that fatty thanks.
I think I feel that cow af getting ready for a visit 😑 x

Hello ladies x well I am right out this month, as AF has well and truly arrived this morning 😢. The cow even waited until after I wasted pg tests first thing. Hope everyone one else is ok today x

I'm so sorry Beegee, I hoped this was going to be your month

Dullesville here - cd5. How's everyone else doing?

Thanks ababs well at least I know now, so cd1 for me now - not far behind you. I am having a bloody drink tonight - no pun intended lol x

Urghh so sorry Beegee I really thought it was likely for you this month or I wouldn't have said. It really can mess with your head, can't it.

It seems incredible that for many (most?) women our preoccupations and thought out strategies are an unknown entity. They want a baby, they get pregnant. I have a friend who had no idea that ovulation was part of the equation. She got pregnant instantly. But then she's young and you know probably has sex for the fun of it all the time

Sorry for all the illness. Yuk poor you Fatty . It's been quite a year for it

Sorry begee it really is a nightmare. Sorry too to everyone for my rant the other night. I'm just so confused by all the signs my body is giving. The irony is I think I'm ovulating today and is the one day I've not dtd. Perhaps I'm trying too hard. So wanted it to happen this month as will be a year of trying. Will have to get partner checked out but not married so a hard conversation. Keeping positive for all of you

Wotsits I'm sure if you dtd yesterday (and the day before etc.) then you're covered. Don't worry too much, there's only so much we can do.

Total it's impossible for some of us to know if that would have been us. My family (mostly females) are super fertile but they all had children quite young whereas I didn't start ttc until I was 40. It's how it should be, I guess, even if it's tough for us late starters.

Yeah abab I was 37 (DS born when I was 38). I'm not sure if it is taking much more time now than it did with him. Like you I had a mc after not trying with intent too long and am not sure if that is a good or bad thing for future chances.

Wotsits that sounds like a huge amount of dtd!

So sorry for the confusing test result followed by AF Beegee! That's so unfair!

I can hear your frustration wotsit. Have you tried ovulation kits to get a bit more clarity?

Fatty /any other big supplementers- do you take Maca and L'arg throughout your cycle or just up to ov? I've been stopping after ov to be on safe side as I do with epo and Agnus Castus but unlike the latter two I don't know if they should be avoided in the luteal phase...

Total I take maca throughout the month (when I remember as I have the powder which needs to be added to something). If I got a positive pregnancy test I would stop taking it just in case. As far as I'm aware it's good for general fertility and not something specifically for the first half of your cycle. I haven't done extensive research though so could be wrong.

Oh and pregnacare conception has 100mg of L-arginine and that is taken all through the month.

Thanks abab - that's sensible to look at Pregnacare contents! I take my vitamins separately so didn't think of that.

Well am now officially in the tww. Dtd once more on Friday night. HFEA website interestingly says sperm live for 12-24 hours which is lower than the 5 days quoted pretty much everywhere else. twinklymusic I have used ops but they tend to give me conflicting results - I've used three of the clear blue digitals at the same time and all gave me a flashing smiley on different days. I've started using the non digitalis but ran out this month at the crucial time. They were stressing me out a bit too so thought I'd leave them for a couple of months but will start them again next month. I'm booked in to have things looked at as fear something is wrong (apart from just being old). I'm on cycle day 17 and know already I'm out. The af symptoms I get are pert nipples with the surge i progesterone and then a gurgling stomach and - sorry about this - but lots of flatulance. It happens as regular as clockwork so I know once it starts it's me out for that cycle. I also get a really bad pain in the pelvis area if we start to dtd, so much so I have to stop. It's that that worries me the most and I'm going to get checked out.

All the supplements you're taking all sound really interesting and I'm going to look into Maca and need to get head round Dhea.

Sorry for mega post. Lots of good wishes for everyone.

Thanks for the info about dhea, am going to look into that.

CD12 here and the cb monitor is playing up - i didn't do a factory reset when i bought it from eBay and although its barely used i think its got the previous user's cycle rhythm programmed in. I got a high day today which wouldn't be unusual but i back it up with a clearable digi ov stick test and got a clear circle, no smiley, no flashing smiley ect so the monitor is wrong. I hope i get a high in the next couple of days from the sticks, ill keep going with the monitor and hope for a peak egg symbol at some point in the next 6 days.

Wots sounds like a good idea to get checked out as it shouldn't hurt when you dtd, hope everyone else had a good weekend.

Wotsits I'm no expert but I don't think those signs mean you're out. The progesterone surge happens to everyone and progesterone is what sustains the lining of the uterus for implementation to occur. Once egg and sperm meet it can take about 5 days or more, I think, for them to make their way down the Fallopian tube to the uterus before implantation. I'm not sure what causes the pelvic pain but it could simply be the ruptured ovary where the egg has burst (I can get this around ovulation where I also get pain there when I pee - the release of pressure on the ovary). The ovary (corpus luteum) continues to produce progesterone after ovulation. If you don't conceive then progesterone levels drop towards the end of your cycle and that's when the AF symptoms start to appear. Anyway that's what I remember from my obsessive googling when ttc a few years ago. I'm sure others have a greater knowledge than me and can confirm - or not. Long story short, I don't think you're out yet!

Rosie it sounds like you're heading towards o-day, exciting! Best of luck to you for this cycle.

I'm on cd8 and according to the smep (which I'm following for lack of anything better) I need to dtd tonight, then eod, and start opk's on cd10. I still have digital opk's for this month but after that I think I'm going to go old school so I can inspect the lines. I don't like having to rely on a smiley with no scrutinising of lines to back it up

Ababsurdum, I have just ordered some 'old school' sticks ( pink ) so that i can interpret myself too, digis are expensive and not always as foolproof as they seem ( although i will probably use all three!)

Still low ovulation signal on my cb digi test - i really do need to re-set that monitor as i don't trust that high today and from next month i will also back it up with the cheapie sticks.

I was going to wait till i got a high from the DIGI test as well as the monitor to start dtd - i don't trust the monitor and dh is back late tonight so i am hoping tomorrow will do - it'll be cd13 but i have no idea what my cycle is like anymore so we shall see when O day occurs and hopefully if we start on alternate days from tomorrow we will be in with a chance.

Can i ask you ladies, do you dtd every day over your fertile period or as some advise every other day? I don't know really as only did it twice the month i conceived DS 4 years ago based around the smiley signal on the test.

I need to see about all these supplements too - have no idea what to take, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason with this conception business and i forgot how the bloody month seemed to drag when you are waiting to ovulate or get a bfp.

I'm on my tww. Currently 5dpo. All tootling along so far with nothing to report. ...dragging as usual.
Have been having some very deep and meaningfulls with o/h regarding donor ivi insemination if things aren't working out for much longer....

Sounds serious Fatty, here's hoping you don't need it. Does your o/h have a low sperm count?

Rosie we usually dtd eod leading up to ovulation and then 2/3 days in a row over ovulation just in case. It doesn't always work out as I don't always ovulate on the same day (cycle length can vary though usually 27 days).

Have been looking at Superdrug ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. They've put their prices up, not much cheaper than Clearblue now. Ovulation kit is £10.99 but you only get 5 tests plus a pregnancy test.

abab he was tested a year or two back and he was just on borderline for numbers of sperm and motility of them. I think it just age now.....cos he's managed it so many times before :) -it's either that or its worn out, as we have been dtd since I was 14 and him 15
He's 46 now and we've both said it's not going to improve the older he gets....I've told him that although I'd be very disappointed, I would be ok once I'd come to terms with it, on not having any more...but he has his heart set on one more...or seeing me happy with my final piece to our family jigsaw....well see how we go for now...getting him some supp to take, to see if that improves things :)

Thanks ababsurdum that's really interesting about the pain. It's so odd cause it doesn't happen all the time. I know in my head the I'm not out until the wretched af arrives, it's just that my cycle is exactly the same from month to month and I just think something would feel different if there was going to be a positive outcome. Doing the smep sounds like a good plan. Think I'll try that next month. Rosie I have tried every other day and every day. I find it a nightmare - when I do eod I worry that I may miss the day and when i do every day I worry about sperm quality. So am going to try smep next cycle which seems to be a mixture of the two. I wish I could just take a few months off from this whole thing and go and love a little. Would kill for a glass of wine tonight but going to be strict in the 2ww.

Fatty - sounds like you and hubby are having really good chats although very tricky. Amazing to have been together so long, you're very lucky to have found such a should mate.

Wotsits - I'm sorry to hear about the pain. What Ababs says about ruptured follicle sounds very persuasive. I think there's no harm in at least having a conversation with your GP about it. Perhaps try to note whether the pain is there whenever you DTD (throughout all times of the month), or whether it's worse at certain points of your cycle. Are your periods very painful too? I was thinking maybe a patch of endometriosis, but that seems a bit dramatic.

Fatty - aww how lovely that you've been together over 30 years - congratulations! (Remind me how many DC you have - is it 5, I can't remember.)

Given what we found out recently about DP's anti-sperm antibodies I've started looking around a little bit for any tips. So far with the antibody issue it does seem to look like ICSI would be the only solution. But for 'ordinary' sperm concerns, it seems there's a lot you can do to bolster the results.

I hope noone will mind me linking this thread, but thought it was encouraging - in particular what RoseBud2016 says:

- Male-factor-natural-improvement-possible -

FWIW, I've had a couple of specific bits of advice on supplements for sperm quality, so in case it's of interest, might as well share them here:

1. I went for a fertility assessment at an IVF clinic prior to having DD. I remember being given pre-printed sheets of info (reams of it) on healthy diet, BMI, etc. Most of it was fairly standard stuff, but they specifically recommended a supplement for men called Menevit - link to Menevit ingredients - They noted that it's an Australian product and that even though you can get it shipped to the UK (I've just seen it on Amazon too) it works out quite expensive. But of course it's easy enough to get all of those 'ingredients' as individual tablets. Some in 'better' quantities too - e.g. no harm in having 500 - 1000 mg Vitamin C and a higher dose of Selenium (as recommended by Dr below).

1. I saw a v experienced Obs & Gynae consultant after having DD. He'd previously worked in IVF for over 30 years, but had gone back to just doing his NHS ante-natal clinics and private gynae clinics - anyway, he knows his stuff. I was going to have super-ovulation drugs (+ timed intercourse, not IUI), but then fell pregnant (later MC). His big recommendation for ALL his patients' male partners was Selenium - preferably taken as Selenium ACE. Loads of different brands, sure you can find it from Google.

Hope that helps.

I can't remember exactly what I've said already about DP's anti-sperm antibody diagnosis, but I'm sure it must be connected to his allergy/immunology issue somehow - he's really not well.

He had another anaphylactic shock reaction yesterday. His face looked like he'd been really badly beaten up, without the bruising, eyes almost closed, the works. He went to A&E as it was progressing so fast (with risk that swelling could block airways, obvs). They wanted to keep him in overnight but there were no beds (!!!), so they gave him stronger steroids, an adrenaline Epi-pen for emergencies and he's got to take a different anti-histamine daily. Still exactly a month before his NHS consultant appointment.

I'm hoping our luck changes soon.
Good luck for everyone in fact!

Wotsits you should absolutely see a doctor and get checked out, for the pain and the ttc for a year with no results. Hopefully there's nothing untoward and it's just taking a bit of time. It must be very frustrating for you both, I hope you get a break soon.

Fatty how lovely that you are both so concerned with what makes each other happy. I hope that dh and I are the same in 20-odd years. Good luck for the 2ww.

Chewy very useful info as always. Your poor dh, he's having a really awful time - and you too of course. I really hope he can get it under control soon with the right meds. Ridiculous that there was no bed for him, is he ok now?

We failed to dtd last night. We got caught up watching the bipolar documentary and were too tired when we got to bed. We will have to do tonight instead - so romantic