Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Pinching around ovary/womb area, lower back ache, very tired and light headed. I guess all the stuff that could be leading up to af as well

Hmm so difficult to know isn't it? With my recent mc I had a very strong stabbing pain one day and a temp dip the next and rise the day after that. I was pretty sure i was pregnant then. Also same cm as you. But then it was a mc so I'm not sure if considering those signs is useful?

With my DS I can't remember a single sign but then I was very, very busy at the time. Can you remember any signs from your DCs?

I remember my cm being quite significant but can't remember how. Well time will tell How are you totalnamechanger?

Thanks for all your commiserations with DP's immunology issue. So yes, the diagnosis is that we need ICSI, which is properly short circuiting my brain.

Ordinary IVF (chuck the egg into a dish along with a load of sperm and see how they get along) at least seems to retain a shred of an old-fashioned meeting at the school disco kind of vibe. Then this intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (which like it says on the tin, injects a single sperm directly into an egg, presumably with a mind bogglingly tiny needle) seems too space age even to comprehend.

Moreover, our chance of success is possibly as microscopic as that needle. DP and I have debated round in circles on donor eggs (which obviously would massively increase our chances) but ... well, neither of us can get 100% comfortable with DE, however hard we try. So as we feel that having even the slightest degree of reservation just wouldn't be fair on the child(ren), unfortunately it's not an option for us.

So that's it. OE ICSI, once or maybe even twice. Meanwhile try to see if we can shed any light on DP's antibodies - maybe even take his emergency steroids if we end up trying naturally (cue hollow laugh) again.

Ababs - you asked whether the IVF clinic said anything to me about DHEA. I've now seen two different consultants there (probably the top two they have). Neither offered DHEA as a suggestion. I don't know why. Perhaps because we had trickier matters to discuss, or perhaps because (as they went on to say) it would mean using it 'off licence', they can't prescribe it and there's no conclusive studies on its efficacy. But once I'd raised it myself, they said that lots of their patients do use DHEA and on balance its probably a good idea to try it (in a 'can't hurt' type of way), provided it doesn't cause you any side effects. So basically take it and see, if you feel fine, carry on, if you don't, then stop. Oh and no recommendations as to which type/where to source it from either .

What's the AF situation - still a no show? Fx.

Fatty - Wow - highly impressive list of supplements! Hope they do the trick! I do like your idea of fertility hypnosis too.

Beegee - 'white, creamy, lotion like cm' you say? I had loads of it prior to BFP when pg with DD. For a couple of days, then it stopped. Just saying.

Hope everyone else is doing OK x

... maybe even take his emergency steroids ... Er, as in, DP will take them to see if his antibody count might reduce. I'm not going to take them, just in case anyone's wondering! Although I thought it was curious they're the same ones/dose (Prednisolone) as I'm aware are sometimes prescribed in recurrent miscarriage treatment. On that basis you'd imagine they wouldn't do his sperm any harm either, but what do I know.

Its probably time for

Chewy, try not to worry about the technology involved. The end result is what matters and you will feel no differently once the baby is growing inside you. Agreed they are choosing which egg and sperm meet but the end result will still be amazing just like your dd. When do you think you might start? Thanks for the comments on DHEA, I'm thinking I really might get some. I've already bought some EPO for the next cycle.

AF hasn't shown up yet but if I ovulated on cd14 when I got the ov pains I would be due today (12 day LP I believe). Incidentally that would also be 2 1/2 days after I got the +ve OPK on cd11 which is quite a long time. I am feeling decidedly AF'y, definitely do not think I'm pg.

Eurgh that AF feeling. Mind you I did have that during a pregnancy. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I'm okay Beegee thanks. Went to bed before 10 last night and made DH do the morning (5.30) shift. It was about time!!

Chewy it looks like you've got a plan, however space-age it feels. Always good to have a plan

Don't know whether I am crazy , but I am very nauseous x

Spotting is getting heavier here, AF definitely on the way. Still dark and yucky (someone on this thread told me that was the remnants of your last period which makes perfect sense - nice eh?).

Fatty what brand of DHEA did you get? Where did you buy it? I guess I've got nothing to lose but my hair by trying it!

Beegee, fingers crossed that's a good sign.

Ababs - is it really AF?

I bought DHEA from here: www.dhea-uk.com/home.php.

I've also seen the Biovea/Eurovital brand - e.g. link - recommended on another thread, but haven't taken it myself.

I'd be really interested to see which brand Fatty's taking too.

I must say, I haven't noticed any (extra) hair loss from taking DHEA. Perhaps that's because that was one of DD's many great gifts to me - I lost tons of hair when she was about 6 months old, just after I'd stopped BF. I've done nothing but cut it shorter - in an attempt to disguise the damage - ever since! (Nearly elbow length when she was born, barely shoulder length now. Although I hate it, I guess it feels like the least of my problems!!!)

Chewy I keep thinking it's starting and then nothing more happens. I am 99.9% sure it is coming, just wish it would hurry up. I'll buy some tests tomorrow afternoon if nothing by then.

That's the same brand Cloud used, if I don't get a bfp tomorrow then I'll order some. How much are you taking? I'm tempted to start at 2 x per day which means the bottle should last 3 months. Interestingly it starts with the egg says no clinically significant side effects were reported at the levels used. Not sure if hair loss is included in that but good to know you've noticed no change. I've been suffering from thinning hair for over 20 years. It's not nearly so bad as many people I see but obviously I hate it and think it's horribly noticeable. I did suffer with post partum loss though it's growing back and the general loss seems stable/normal at the moment - maybe pregnancy has affected my hormones for the better? I did also have some post miscarriage loss too which I wasn't expecting but hopefully that will also grow back ok. It could be a lot worse hence, in part, the reticence about DHEA (I'm also a bit about not taking it if you suffer/are prone to certain cancers - how would you know if not diagnosed?). Still I wouldn't want to put vanity over having another child so probably worth the risk.

Ababs - That's interesting about Cloud - but was she taking the McPherson's DHEA (like I've got) or the Biovea brand? (Sorry if I'm being a bit slow.)

I've been trying to take 75mg daily (3 x 25mg). The only rational I've ever seen for splitting the total daily dose was to avoid possible stomach upsets - not that it's ever affected me like that. However, I can definitely say that I've forgotten the middle dose more often than I've taken it, meaning that it's usually been 50mg daily (2 x 25mg).

On the hair loss issue - I honestly don't think it's made my interminable post-partum (and post-miscarriage) hair loss any worse. And I guess my thyroid issues (it was particularly unstable last year) have also had an impact.

Just a thought - have you had your Ferritin (stored iron) levels checked? I think the lower reference range is 25 ... of whatever units they measure it in. But you need to get it well up into the middle of the reference range - above 70 - for good hair growth. That's what my endocrinologist says anyway - and she has gorgeous hair (must be late 40's, at a guess).

Anyway, lets not get ahead of ourselves, FX you don't need the DHEA!

chewy have to agree with ababs however daunting and 'disconnected' it may sound the end result is the same ☺. I have to say ladies you are all so knowledgeable but also very thoughtful, considered and caring .
ababs I still have everything crossed for you x

Can i join you ladies? I have been thinking about one more for the last two years and i know i should have made this decision earlier ( about 24 months ago ) as i just turned 44 a week ago and i know my chances are not great for getting pg again now.

I am 44, DH 42 - 5 DC's - 23, 20, 18, 7 and 3. The last two are DH's as when we met 10 years ago he didn't have any DC - he would be happy with the two little ones we have and our bigger older DC's but i so loved being a mum again to the two little ones that i am hankering for just one last bite of the cherry.

Had DS2 at 37 and DS3 at 40 ( although it was only three months before i turned 41 ) I really felt rough after the last pg and was quite poorly ( i am a type two insulin dependent diabetic ) pregnancy went fine till 35 weeks same as DS2 then had to have CS brought forward from 37 weeks to 35 due to blood pressure and placenta beginning to fail due to diabetes.

I have been reading your thread and can see the odds are fifty fifty-ish at my age to having a successful pregnancy but given that it took 27 months to get pg at 40 with DS3 I'm not overly confident that i will even get pg again now.

I used a clear blue fertility monitor ( the older one ) with DS3 and the month i got pg it didn't give me an egg symbol just a high ( but i knew i was ovulating as i backed it up with a clear blue ovulation test stick with the smiley face ) i also only did once so it goes to show it is a bit random as after 27 months of trying we had sort of given up anyway. I will be using the fertility monitor backed up by the tests again and hope for the best.

Its lovely reading some of the success stories on here - it does give me hope but i am nervous and hopeful at the same time. Hope to get to know you all a little better over the coming weeks and months. :-)

Welcome rosieposey, I turn 44 soon and am ttc number 2. I wish you the best of luck ttc number 6. I found the clearblue fertility monitor not 100% accurate either and backed it up with additional opk's when I was ttc my ds. This time I'm just using opk's though I generally use 2 or 3, or 4 a day over the peak time.

AF is here. Not in full flow yet but a bit heavier and redder during the night - at least I was expecting it though I'm fed up of course. I'm annoyed that conceiving so easily last year made me foolishly hope I could be lucky again and it wouldn't take ages. I know this is only the second month of trying post miscarriage and I'm being silly but grrrr...

I have the EPO ready to take later and am going to bite the bullet on ordering the DHEA. I figure my best shot is in the next six months so I might as well give it all I've got. I'm taking 200 mg of coq10 and wondering if I should up it to 300 mg. Pregnacare conception daily and maca powder when I remember. I don't think I need agnus castus as my cycle is probably OK at 27 days. What else should I be taking?

Chewy sorry I wasn't clear. Cloud took the McPherson's supplement I believe, that's what I'm going to order too. She said she often forgot to take the lunchtime dose, how long have you been taking it?

You could be right on the hair loss. I went to our family doctor when it first started and was dismissed as being silly. I generally take an iron supplement as I'm vegetarian (I take floradix daily usually) and I don't think I'm anaemic but who knows what my ferritin levels are. I'll mention it to my doctor next time I'm there.

DHEA ordered. I was a bit at the delivery cost and timescale. I thought it was coming from that uk.

Hi all!

Sorry about AF ababs - I'm out too since the weekend. Still a bit early despite Vitex, but I had a little less severe symptoms and no spotting beforehand, so I think Vitex is having some sort of impact.

I've been thinking about DHEA too. Not sure still.

So sorry about all you've been through chewy. I agree with everyone who has said that it's the result that matters and not how you got there. Fx that it is all worth it and everything works out.

Love your supplement list Fatty! I am taking most of those too. I was afraid I was the only one and that I was bonkers! Now I know that either I am not bonkers or there are more of us!

Hi to everyone else!

Welcome rosieposey, this is a very supportive thread ☺.
twinkly and ababs sorry about wicked af 😠, hope you are both ok?
chewy hope you are doing okay processing all that happening for you too?
total hope you are still getting the sleep in.
I'm driving myself crazy, so should be 9dpo tomorrow. I am nauseous - better whilst eating, but I have maybe dull cramping in my belly, maybe periody. ..argh I don't know. The nausea, however ridiculous it is feels like pg nausea. However I have also convinced myself that af is definitely on her way 😣 x

Twinkly sorry AF got you too. Great that the agnus castus seems to be pushing things in the right direction though.

Beegee those symptoms sound good. When are you going to test?

I'm good, thanks for asking. I always allow myself to have a little sulk before picking myself up again. Nobody said it was going to be easy ttc at nearly 44. I just need to remember that! The DHEA should arrive tomorrow, I am a bit apprehensive about it...

hellloooooo everyone, sorry about my absence, been a manic time at home with one thing and another!

I got my DHEA from ebay (where else...thats where i get em all from!!)
my name is fatty and im an ebayaholic!

the brand is Puritans pride and they are 100mg tabs, so no need for me to remember to take 3 a day, i take all my sups at once in one big handfull...id be useless at remembering to take them at separate times :O

sorry to those who have AF lets hope next month she realises she isnt wanted and stays away! nasty rude woman she is!!

chewy dont over think things hunny...remember its just a man or woman in a labcoat, doing what the sperm would be doing anyways.....you used the school disco analogy for ordinary IVF...so think of this as being kinda like Spin the Bottle (or whatever that daft game is that you end up in a closet/cupboard snogging/groping someone!!) spermy and eggy have just been sent to the cupboard under the stairs to get it on in the dark....

baby dust to all...i have O day on thursday and ive just done my first BD (and my second of the fertile window, this morning!!

ababs glad you have got the dhea coming and that is a good focus moving forward, I don't really know much about it apart from what has been shared on here.
I tested this morning with a very cheap midstream test from b&m and got a bfn 😕, still early I guess. Just constantly overthinking things and feeling confused. Really just driving myself to distraction and up the wall. I will keep testing everyday, holding the clearblue ones back for now. This ttc is enough to drive you to insanity. I said to dp last night how different it is for him as he is removed from it. Whereas us, every day is something to count and every twinge/feeling etc is something to analyse, with constant uncertainty x

Thanks for the kind welcome.

I have read back a bit and am wondering about taking some supplements as well - Fattyfishwife has a comprehensive list!

What is DHEA? Anything i need to know about or that might help move things along?

I lost my original cb fertility monitor and bought another barely used one from eBay to use. I think even though i set the 'm' day on it i am on day six now and my old one used to ask for a stick by now so i think it must be stuck on the previous owners cycle. Tbh i am not bothered about putting a stick in till at least day 9 as i don't usually ovulate till about day 16ish so lets hope it asks for one in the next couple of days otherwise i won't be able to use it this cycle (thanks eBay for the back up cb digi ovulation tests) so at least ill get an idea this month.

ababa - you are only on day nine aren't you? Fingers crossed you get a bfp in the next couple of days. I have promised myself that this time i am absolutely going to wait till dpo 12 but i bet i will start testing around 10 - i was terrible when ttc ds3, even when i actually got pg i think i still did around 10

Just dying to get started now ( dodgy fertility monitor not withstanding ) next week should show something on the cb digi opt if not - i used to get really excited by that smiley face!

Hello Fatty, you saucy wench - twice on a weekday afternoon (ohhhhh afternoon delight...). You put me to shame! at you downing all your supplements in one go in the morning, there can't be much room for breakfast after that lot!

Beegee sorry it's bfn so far. Fingers crossed its bfp in a day or two. I certainly over think things, imagining all kinds of symptoms when, ironically, both my pregnancies were pretty much symptom free in the early days. Mind over matter I suppose.

Gah - sorry! mixed up ababsurdum and beegee3 in my last post

here ya go rosie

www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=294994.0

let me know if the link doesnt work, and i will copy and paste the whole shebang in here for you xxx