Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Hi all - thank you so much for posting the positive stories chewy and Gsmummy Its so encouraging to read things like this - there's so much negativity around and its easy to get caught up in that - always good to know that there are positive stories out there and to never give up on what you dream for - the best things in life are worth waiting for :)
Also nice to hear of yr supportive GP beegee 3 - so pleased for you

Nice to hear as well I'm not the only one struggling with DTD so much during ttc! I almost dread the timing as its exhausting and as for keeping up the romance hats off to anyone who can do this too!

Would anyone know if its a good idea to also get the AMH test and follicle count or would the two blood tests be sufficient?
Many thanks :)
Sending everyone positive vibes for bfps all round :)

KitKat - I'd be interested to see what anyone else thinks, but a couple of things just occurred to me. As regards asking for day 2-3 tests from your GP. GP's often seem to refer to them as day 2-5. I'd definitely have the blood taken on day 2 or 3, any later and your FSH might start to look relatively high.
I think its useful to ask for Oestradiol (or E2) along with FSH. If Oestradiol is very high, they say that it artificially suppresses FSH, i.e. makes it look unduly flattering (re FSH, the lower the better).
GPs do seem keen on asking for LH tests, but I've never really understood what that indicates??? Except that if your LH:FSH ratio is around 1:1 that's ideal and if your LH is any higher that indicates PCOS .... apart from that, no idea. (Perhaps someone can enlighten me?)
AMH is expensive, but I guess it can be very reassuring. My own AMH was rubbish last time it was tested, so I haven't bothered since. I think that AMH and antral follicle count are supposed to correlate with each other: the higher the AMH, the higher follicle count you should expect on an ultrasound scan. But apparently my follicle count doesn't tally with my pitiful AMH level at all (i.e. AFC's are better than expected) - so maybe its not always so clear cut as an AMH result is sometimes said to be?

Well done ababs on getting that final 'just in case' dtd in!

I failed miserably...

As soon as I arrived up to the bedroom tonight, my exhausted DH fled, mumbling something about wanting to watch some TV after all. Instead of going after him and demanding he get right back here and perform his husbandly duty again (as I should have done), I sank gratefully under the sheets and I'm now prepared to defend myself with weapons. I'm aching with tiredness (long day at work after a busy weekend). I'm not sure I could do it even if I received a letter from my uterus saying there was an egg in waiting...

Beegee your doctor sounds fantastic! I've never come across that much support. Any clues about where you live (planning to move soon and will consider a range of areas! Nice doctors preferred!).

Oh my word - what a brilliant link from GSmummy re Liz Earle. Check it out if you haven't already!

"...Earle had a fifth child at nearly 48.
'We certainly weren't trying for a baby, but it was at the time when we were very busy working on the [sale of the] company and I guess I took my eye off the ball...' 'It sounds crazy for someone who already had four children, but I didn't realise I was pregnant till four months in. I actually thought I was going through the menopause.'
Did Earle worry at all because of her age? 'Well, the doctor told me I was so old, I wasn't even on the chart in terms of assessing risk so that wasn't exactly reassuring. But by the time we found out, the pregnancy was quite advanced and even if the scans had shown something different about the baby, we would have gone ahead anyway.'

I'm now prepared to defend myself with weapons ... I'm not sure I could do it even if I received a letter from my uterus saying there was an egg in waiting...
Lol
What's your weapon of choice Twinkly?

thanks chewy that's really helpful and really useful information - much appreciated :)
will be better prepared when I go to gps - fingers crossed for a supportive gp now!

yes twinkly I can very much relate to that too! :)

Ha ha Twinkly, that made me laugh. Your poor dh too

I guess for me the drudgery of ttc hasn't yet kicked in, I'm sure it will unless we're lucky again and conceive sooner rather than later.

Chewy how knowledgeable you are - very useful info. I think I've forgotten a lot of what I read when ttc ds.

Gsmummy thanks for another lovely story.

I watched a recorded episode of one born every minute last night. One baby was born at 28 weeks after the waters broke early. Unfortunately the baby didn't make it, it was heartbreaking. I sobbed

Hello all 😊 great to see more newbies on here! I do love catching up and sharing our journey's. AF arrived for me last Friday and I was feeling a little 'what's the point' until I read the new posts and the old and realised that there's still hope 😊. I've also bought some EPO so I hope that will help not only with my pmt but with getting a bfp!! Has anyone used EPO? Would love to hear your stories/experiences. Beegee your doctor sounds great and very supportive. We've had a massive change over at our surgery and the doctor I could speak to has now left and I don't think I could speak to the new ones for fear of getting that 'look' 😩. Going to treat myself with a facial and some new underwear this week and not tell DH of fertile days and try my harrrrrrrdest not to pounce on him!!! 😂

Hi olivesme - that sounds like a great idea :) Maybe that's the route I should take as DH is definitely getting a little weary of the whole ttc business so maybe an element of surprise and some new attire will help ;)

Re EPO - are you referring to evening primrose oil? If so has anyone else used this and does anyone know if this increases your EWCM (egg white cervical mucus?)

Apologies for TMI! but mine is non existent and Ive read that increasing your EWCM really helps with the whole ttc. Has anyone used EPO for this and does it work and also is there anything else that also increase EWCM?

Hi everyone. I've been lurking for a while but thought I'd say hello. I'm 43 and me and my DP have just decided to try for DC2 before it really is too late. My DD is almost 5 but for various reasons we've not felt ready to try for a second till now.

I have PCOS and my periods are irregular so my timings are all off but I'm fairly sure I now roughly when I ovulated and we're now in the 2ww. My period's due around 2nd Feb and I think I'm around 9dpo, give or take but my DP is away till then so I'm going to leave testing till he's back.

I keep thinking I can feel symptoms (itchy nipples, tender boobs, tiredness, even a touch of nausea today) but I'm sure I'm imagining them and/or they can all be explained by something else!

We were very lucky with my DD - my periods were much more irregular than they are now, I was very overweight, and we weren't really trying (just having unprotected sex) but I got pregnant very quickly. We never really had the whole 2ww thing as we weren't really thinking about it and I found out at about 7 weeks (felt shit, no period, did a preg test) so it's quite different this time - and of course I'm 5 years older...

Anyway, I've enjoyed reading your thread so thought I'd say hello!

Welcome goodenoughal, hopefully you will be as lucky ttc this time around. It must be hard ttc with pcos, fingers crossed this is your month.

Evening primrose oil is supposed to help with ewcm (amongst other things). I used it when ttc my ds but to be honest I can't really remember whether it helped. You take it only from cd1 until you ovulate. I'm definitely getting some for my next cycle if AF shows her face this time. Whether they work or not I feel like I'm doing something if I'm taking supplements.

I think you can buy other herbal blends but they may well be useless. I think making sure you're drinking plenty of water also helps.

Hi goodenoughal - good luck for this month

thanks absurdum - that's really helpful :)
I'll think I'll do the same
Tried the masses of water and ending up just rushing to the toilet every 10 mins which with a little one is not so practical!

I've tried some other herbal supplements meant to help fertility but tbh they made me feel so awful I had to stop them quickly! Think they were doing me more harm than good as anything that makes you feel that awful can't surely be helping at all!

Fx this is your lucky month absurdum
I'll try the EPO too next cycle if it helps with EWCM - how much are you taking and what do they recommend? Is there anything else I can take to increase EWCM?

Here's some info

cervical mucus

more cm

This one suggests 1500-3000 mg epo

more info here

I think that you can still have cm up in your cervix even if it's not abundant in your knickers so you may not be as 'dry' as you think. Take charge of your fertility says to remove some from the cervix to see (along with checking cervical position etc.). I never bothered with any of this. I did try grapefruit juice though as well as epo. I never used the Fertile CM supplement so I can't vouch for it.

hello all you lovely ladies :)

well, im 13 dpo today and i did a FRER with FMU...and....a BFN!

back to the old drawing board for this month, let the pate and wine/vodka commence!

lashings of baby dust and cervical mucus to you all..may all your DTD's be fun and your eggs be ripe!

Thanks for the welcomes.

I think my PCOS is under control - I'm fairly sure I ovulate most months - I have a lot of CM and tender breasts around ovulation so think I know when it's happening, it's just my cycles vary between 28 and about 45 days so I don't really know in advance.

I'm trying to find that balance between taking care during the 2ww, not drinking much, eating a bit carefully, without going overboard since chances are I'm not pregnant. Finding the balance isn't easy...

Just had to quickly pop on because I really can't share this anyone at the moment. I popped on about a week ago and said DP and I are considering ttc a second child, we have a 9 month old baby, I'm 43 very soon so thinking if we want to try we'll need to think about going it for soon. Anyway, our little one is poorly at the mo and in all honestly it's hard work, DP leaves for work at 5.30am and doesn't get home until 7pm, little one has up half the night and I need to go back to work for financial reasons and if I'm going to be completely honest I'm looking forward to returning to work and having that stimulation. We discussed everything over the weekend and both agreed we feel I need to return to work, we need to move (we're in a 1 bed flat) and despite the pressure of my age etc etc we really can't see it being a good idea for at least another year and we're blessed to have one baby. Yesterday it occurred to me I haven't had my usual premenstrual migraine, I've looked at the dates and realised I'm about 4/5 days late, which is strange for me, anyway I bought a test to put my rest so I could forget about it and get on with my job applications and I can't believe it came back positive! We are both in shock! We have a 9 month old baby I can count on my hand the number of times we've had sex in the last 9 months, literally once last month! For anyone who doesn't remember me from last time around, it took us a year to conceive at 40/41, I gave up alcohol, caffeine, had a healthy diet, obsessed over opk's and timing it right etc etc...During the last month I've drunk loads of coffee, had a glass of wine most evenings, diet hasn't been brilliant, I've taken paracetamol for my cold my god the list goes on! We are so shocked! DP said he can't believe it and if all goes well then my god it's obviously meant to be but all I can think about is how unhealthy I've been over the last month and all the practical things like needing to move and financially how the hell are we going to manage this?!

I read this entire thread yesterday and what a moving, amazing thread it is.

If anyone is around I would appreciate some advice.

I am 40 years old and am so lucky to have a six year old, conceived on the first try. We began trying again in 2012 and...nothing. Literally nothing. We had one round of fertility testing in late 2013 - all fine and described as very good for our ages. I went back last summer 2015 - again, results all good. 2 cycles of un-stimulated IUI - nothing.

Regular cycles
I ovulate - shown by CD21, scans, OPKS on numerous occasions.
Hycosy - no blockages
Husband's tests - all fine
AMH - very good for my age
All other results - nothing highlighted as a problem.

Unfortunately my husband is no longer prepared to go back for any kind of clinic treatment, but I think will carry on not-preventing. I am devastated and verging on desperate, but have to accept this.

The only options now open to me are those related to routes that don't involve a clinic cycle, mainly supplements - I am thinking of throwing every supplement at it....or possibly asking for a prescription of clomid?

I am currently on my period so there is time to take something before this month.

My last results were AMH: 20.8 - which is apparently great for age 40! I have read the list of supplements linked to above (from fertility friends). My big question is - should I take DHEA? even though my AMH is good. I am wary because some advice is that it can throw things out of whack...

I already take

Women's multivitamin - same ingredients as pregnacare
Vitamin D
Q10
Omega 3-6-9

I am thinking of buying:

Selenium - for implantation
Iron
Aspirin
DHEA?

Any help much appreciated.

I really hope my post doesn't upset anyone, I know all about the emotional rollercoaster of ttc, I just wanted to share coz firstly I'm so shocked and can't tell anyone in real life at the moment but also because as DP said to me last night, all those months last time I obsessed over timing/diet/caffeine etc etc ...this time we really weren't trying at all! and it was just the once in a whole month! I'm 43 soon I thought this only happened at 16!

inShcok it is so goo dnews that not trying not even thinking about trying can have this effect:-) enjoy!

Many, many congratulations inshock so good to have some good news! There is no point worrying about the past month, just go forward now. With my first I was younger, there is pictures of me out on Halloween dressed up and drinking, he was conceived about a week before it turns out. How are you feeling?
Twinkly, i'm in Birmingham -don't know the rules about saying where you live. Dr Khan is lovely with the children, he actually seems to be interested and care. He has been nice in the past with me and will listen to any knowledge that I might have too. I was surprised at how happy he was when I nervously told him I had decided to try for a baby though.
A big welcome goodenoughal nice to have you on here 9dpo fx for you then this month.
Hello olive so sorry af came this month 😢. Will be interesting to see how you get on with the EPO. A facial and some new undies sound like a great idea!
I have had a read through your shared info ababsurdum some new stuff on there that I didn't know.
Oh fatty so sorry for you bfn 😢 what a s**t. Relax and enjoy your food and drink ☺.
I am day 7 flashing smiley, I don't know what's what but I am going to dtd tonight and Fri, sat and sun fx x

Thanks Jass but I'm so shocked I can't put it into words. I just keep thinking oh my god if all goes well I'm going to have 2 babies under 17 months! oh my god! I had only said to DP at the weekend that I couldn't cope with another baby in the foreseeable future as our little one has decided sleep is a waste of her time and I'm sure you have more energy when you're 25 than 42!

Thanks Beegee I feel my normal self, it's all very surreal. DP and I have said we're not going to tell anyone yet and we'll 'see what happens' just in case....

Welcome maybedoctor this is a lovely supportive thread ☺. I don't know about the dhea i'm afraid. It sounds like you have all positives on your side though, through all your testing. I guess you just keep going. I haven't had any testing yet. I take a conception vitamin, osteo care, selenium a, c and e, co-enzyme q10, folic acid, vitamin e and just ordered omega 3,6,9. Ladies on here will share their thoughts and knowledge x

Fatty I'm so sorry. We all have to just keep trying while there's still a chance. Enjoy your indulgence. Wishing you lots of luck for your next cycle, are you going to go back on the supplements? Big hugs xx

Hi inshock, massive congratulations. I did a similar thing in August, joined the thread and discussed the fact we'd like to start ttc #2. It took us over a year to ttc #1 so I expected similar however I fell pregnant immediately and felt like a bit of a fraud tbh. For me that pregnancy ended in a mmc, I wish you much better luck - no reason to think that will happen of course, I was just unlucky. When I was ttc #1 I used to spend 30m after dtd with legs in the air etc. None of that last year so I haven't bothered since we started ttc again this time. Wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.

Welcome MaybeDoctor, I'm sorry you're having such a rough road ttc. It sounds like everything's fine on paper doesn't it and of course you have already managed it once. Presumably your weight and general health is fine? Unfortunately there's no measure for egg quality. Amh indicates how many there are, not how good. Coq10 and dhea possibly help egg quality and while there are no side effects known for coq10 there are for dhea which I believe is a hormone. I think there's a chance it can interfere with your own hormones etc. In part I expect that's the point but I guess there's no guarantee of getting the specific outcome desired. I think I'm sounding too down on it, I've been too chicken to take it myself yet though I may if we don't get anywhere in the next few months. One lady on this thread conceived after taking it for three months. I guess you need to weigh up the pros and cons. There's a section on it in the book it starts with the egg. Good luck.

Beegee how are you feeling? In all the excitement about your lovely doctor I forgot that you were actually poorly. I hope you're on the mend.

I'm 2/3 dpo, hard to tell as I'm not certain when I ovulated. Too early for symptom spotting

thank you so much ababsurdem - that's really kind of you and very helpful :)

So sorry to hear that fatty - best of luck for the next cycle