Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Hi everyone, I am new to mumsnet so:
I am 42, have 2 wonderful sons 14 and 10 marriage ended unexpectedly 5 years ago. Been with lovely new partner who is 33 for nearly 4 years. I didn't think I was going to try for another baby, but it turns out that it's now something we both really want. I stopped cerezette minipill on Saturday 16th Jan. Don't know anything about my cycles so bought a clearblue dual ovulation test to see what was what. Well I got a blank circle on Wed 20th as I expected but then was surprised on Thursday 21st to get a flashing smiley! Another one today, so anxious and excited to see if I will get my static smiley. So what do you think ladies does this show that I may still have a little life in me?? Looking forward to meeting some of you x

Hello and welcome Beegee. I'm 41 and have 2 DC. If you read back on here you'll find some beautiful stories of hope. So go for it Beegee! We lost out this month AF showed up bright and early this morning 😡. Feeling knackered. More emotional than physical 😩. Few days like this will pass and will find the motivation to getting going. Again. Still have 5 FRER's to use 😂😂.

Hello oliveisme ☺, thank you for your welcome! Sorry to hear about this month 😧. Have you been trying for long? I am preparing myself for lots of disappointment on my new mission. Try and relax for a few days and recuperate, another chance coming up again for you x

So good to talk to someone about this as me and dp are keeping it to ourselves at the minute

Good luck totalnamechanger, fingers crossed for this month. I'm sorry for your loss but hopefully you'll get your happy ending.

Welcome beegee. Congratulations on your new relationship. I don't know much about ttc when you've come off the pill but it sounds like you could ovulate soon. I think with those sticks that they can get 'stuck' on a flashing smiley if it doesn't catch an LH surge (the instructions should tell you if this is the case). I only mention this so that you don't use too many and literally pee your money away . Best of luck to you too for this month.

Olive I'm sorry AF turned up, the witch. I must admit that I'm glad the first day of a period is cd1 (rather than cd21 or whatever) as I think it helps in looking forward to the next cycle. Hopefully this will be your month

I'm on cd11 here so should ovulate the beginning of next week. Hopefully we will have dtd a few times before then. I need to drink more water and eat more eggs though probably too late this cycle for eggs to be much help.

Thanks ababsurdum, just trying at the minute to get a grip on conceiving again and finding my pattern, so I have some idea what I am working with. Still in very early days (if not baby making years). I will have to find time to have a read through past posts to get to know you all a little. Good luck to everyone

Hi all...well I'm in 'is it pre menstrual or early pregnancy sign 'joy! Currently 7dpo and for the last 2 days had nightmare blocked yet runny nose and headache...nipples are tingling like crazy, slight cramping and now I have mild thrush! I know I shouldn't Google symptoms but you do don't you?@!!

Oh and constipated!

If only the symptoms were different, so cruel to make them the same isn't it! Having said that in my two pregnancies I haven't had many early symptoms but I have had a very slight dizziness which I don't get at any other time. Until I got that last time I was convinced AF was coming. The 2ww seems a long way off for me at the moment.

Thrush and constipation sounds like a grim combo Laney. Hopefully you will get a bfp and it will all seem worthwhile

Hi Laney, blimey I thought my killer head and cough were bad. I remember from my trying conceive my boys (last one 11 years ago now) it occupies your every thought, trying to analyse and second guess what is going on with your body! I am already slipping into that again, just can't help it! In similar boat to you as have children but really want a baby with my dp (after ex husband doing the dirty and ripping everything apart ) i am really hoping that its not too late for us. Hope you're feeling a little better? X

Hi everyone waves

well, im back on the TTC train....although technically was never off it, but since my devastating BFN in october, after everything being done (12+ supplements daily for a year, sex at the right times, preseed, orgasms, legs in air, temping, saluting every single magpie i saw and being excited whenever i saw 2 for 'joy'....yadda yadda yadda)

I stopped everything, no supplements at all apart from a folic acid, no tracker apps, no temping, no opk's, no pattern or reason to doing the BD...nothing...i havent even so much as spoken/minded a magpie whatsoever since october...and this was a 30 year+ habit!!) I ate pate and drank alcohol over christmas and new year...

I had af on 4-8th jan and am now in my 2ww at 9dpo

Ive had tingly boobs constantly (and i do mean constantly) since my BFP last march that ended in and MMC in may, so cant use that as any sort of indicator (it was one of the only 2 giveaways to my BFP las time)

I had 3 short sharp stabbing pains at 4dpo (like someone stabbed me with a knitting needle as opposed to anything thinner!) in my uterus area, that actually made me wince. still got tingly fizzy boobs, very tired, but thats nothing new, ive had a stuffy nose, and today some mild af type cramps today (unusual for me as i havent had period cramps, since i was in my 20's (lucky me!!)
Ive had some mild back ache (this is usually my BIG af symptom, every month, crippling back ache)

but the one thing thats been weird is that my uterus, since the day after O day, has felt....cold...like someones filled it with iced water, and its still like that now.

I caved and did a I/C today and it was a BFN (quelle suprise!)

so im still none the wiser as im having a couple of weird things coupled with normalish af things

for those that dont know me

fatty aged 44 (45 in march), DC's aged 22, 18, 16, 12 and 6, (3 angel babies, 1989, 1996, 2015) TTC for 2.5 years, only one pregnancy (that i know of, there could have been a couple of chems in there) in all that time, BFP march 2015, MMC (blighted ovum) discovered at 8 weeks in may 2015 after spotting)
Had an uncomfortable ERPC without any anaesthetic to remove the main part of the pregnancy that was blocking my cervix (i have a cervix that likes to keep hold of things and doesnt like to open too far (hence 4 out of 5 pregnancies being c-sections)

and here i still am...TTC the missing piece to my beautiful family jigsaw. 2015 was very stressy and quite shitty TBH, so Im hoping 2016 is more relaxed and will bless me with a BFP very soon.

much loves and baby making vibes to you all

Hello Fatty (seems bad calling you that!) Blimey you've really been through it haven't you? 9dpo, well I guess it could still be too early to get bfp so everything crossed for you!! Sounds like you have a wonderful family! I understand though about the jigsaw piece, although my two boys are my absolute world. What's your feeling for this month? X

Lol...its ok...I am fat...so fatty is cool :)

Well my backache has gotten worse over the last few hours so my gut feeling has now tipped from being minutely optimistic to being certain of a bfn....ah well...no biggie...at least I have 5 fabulous kids already. ..so I'm already very blessed

Welcome back Fatty, lovely to hear from you! I'm sorry that you're thinking this isn't your month but you're never fully out until AF turns up. Really glad you've had a lovely time over Christmas & NY eating and drinking what you like. I do think you are tempting fate with the magpies though (I always do that too).

Well I'm on CD12 and this morning I got a smiley on my digital opk. A bit early for me so I was a bit surprised. The physical line on the stick did not look very strong, a bit washed out like they can sometimes get. Yesterday and today I also used the dual hormone ones as I had 3 sticks left and that isn't even showing a flashing smiley.

Soooo what to do about dtd, ladies, as this has screwed up my eod plan. We dtd last night and two nights before that. I guess we have to go for it again tonight? I am supposed to be out this evening and with a toddler no chance of doing it before I go. It will mean waking up dh when I get in (I'm driving about 50 mins away) and dtd then.

I've also not had very much ewcm. I was dry (sorry tmi) for ages after my full term pregnancy so I'm assuming this is down to the recent miscarried pregnancy. Not great for ttc - perhaps I need to dig the evening primrose oil out? It's probably out of date now.

And here's another question. Do you think you can use the normal digital opk sticks in the dual hormone reader? Apart from being a different colour they look identical, I'm assuming it's the reader that's different? I'm curious to keep using that one for a few days but I only have 1 stick left. I may give it a go and see what happens.

Hi Fatty well yes you are certainly very blessed but fx that af doesn't come knocking still. It's so bloody hard emotionally isn't it?
Ababsurdum not sure on the dtd, some say if he has had 20 hrs 'rest' he should be good to go. Not sure, it's hard not to just try and take every opportunity isn't it, just in case.
I have my 3rd day of flashing smiley today and i can feel my ovaries last 2 days. Here's the thing... me and dp don't live together...been trying to be gentle etc because of my eldest ds who has really struggled with hid dad leaving a few years ago. So the boys are with me this weekend, but was thinking of getting him to pay me a 'conjugal' visit to tonight? ? Otherwise won't see him until he usually comes over on a Tuesday. The boys know about him and we actually went abroad together last year and spent christmas and new year together (a first) .
So ababsurdum, think you're going to have to see what your gut feeling is tonight.

Ababsurdum, don't know about the sticks it would seem to make sense that it collecting the same info and it's just the reader...I would give it a go. It might read it and give a result or give you an error sign.

Fatty, on the subject of magpies. I decided to give up counting them etc about 10 years ago, I feel a lot more relaxed and just enjoy seeing what I think is a pretty bird - and it doesn't matter how many friends they have with them! lol x

Ababsurdum, I fell pregnant the first time of using the Clear blue digital sticks and if you scroll back a bit you'll find my pregnancy chart showing we dtd when we got the static smiley plus the day after. If you can have sex tonight and tomorrow you've cracked it as far as timely sex goes. My advice is, if you're using the smiley digital sticks then dump the others; they're just unsettling your judgement. Do you temp? This would validate your digital sticks. Good luck.

Hi Flotillas. No I'm not temping. Did it for a few months when ttc ds but gave up as it drove me nuts though it was a good exercise to show that I was actually ovulating. I just used the last dual hormone stick and got a flashing smiley which means oestrogen is rising. I guess it's going to happen sometime in the next few days. We can absolutely dtd tonight and tomorrow but that would mean we'd done three days in a row which completely throws out the eod approach. Oh well! We'll then skip Monday and dtd again Tuesday just in case.

BeeGee it sounds like Tuesday might be too late. I would try and dtd this weekend though understand it's difficult when you have older dc. Ds just snores through us, we can hear him from his bedroom

ababsurdum (look at me getting the hang of bold font on here) I ave just put the 'booty call' in and we're on for later 😉 he will have to look past the coughing spluttering mess that I am...and the fact that there is a sleepover downstairs lol x the things we do x

Here's the info on the sperm meets egg plan which talks about eod until you get a positive opk.

Ahh thank you ☺ he has just told me he will be 'having a few beers' today, 'not many but a few'

Thanks ababsurdum. I'm feeling strangely whatevs at the moment. Don't know what's wrong/right with me. I read about she-oak helping with a good fertility mindset and only found some in a Neil Yard woman's blend which I've been taking since my miscarriage. I don't know if that's keeping me atypically serene. I'm still spending all my time on fertility friend -scanning charts/pregnancy lines/meaning of implantation dips. Obviously!

Afraid I can't help anyone with flashing smileys or fertility monitor questions as I just use i/cs

totalnamechanger sorry I am new on here. I hope you are ok? I just wish I could wave a magic wand for everyone. I hope it isn't annoying when new people come on all keen and asking questions x