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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Over 40s TTC & success stories.

999 replies

Grizzer · 18/07/2015 22:20

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

OP posts:
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11
FattyFishwife · 09/10/2015 10:08

i maybe drink 2 cups of tea a day...3 tops, but have switched to caffeine free diet coke as my cold drink of choice.

notsoold · 09/10/2015 14:13

artioo thank you for remembering!!!
It was a really good day today. A abdominal scan (I know!!!! At 7 weeks???) Size confirmed and a hearbeat!!! I was quite chuffed and the scan consultant was quite happy in telling me how a miscarriage percentage goes down now that she (and I)saw a hearbeat. Of course the nurse afterwards said to me that things could go wrong until 12 or 14 weeks or indeed later because of my age (44).... as if I need a reminderConfused.
But because she said it I have decided to be happy with the scan lady perspective!??????

Artioo2 · 09/10/2015 14:49

Oh brilliant! Yes, definitely listen to the scan lady, a positive scan is great news.

Flottilaz · 10/10/2015 01:15

Oh notso that is just terrific news! Thanks Please come and tell the others...

FattyFishwife · 10/10/2015 19:20

fab news, you must be so relieved to see a healthy heartbeat...so pleased for you!

notsoold · 11/10/2015 00:41

Really helped me and decided that for us, keeping under wraps until 12 weeks in not helpful. We struggled more with the mmc that nobody knew about than the other one when we were public....
So we told family and friends today. Bar ds1 (away camping).
As always dsil told me off for sharing news so early when things can go wrong but overall it was a pleasure to share....
I cut down my coffee intake years ago to one latte per day. The smell of coffee beans is rather my favourite smellGrin

Artioo2 · 12/10/2015 13:30

Had my 21 day blood test today, which is good, although it was a rather irritating experience thanks to a brusque nurse. She was going to do a chlamydia swab as well, and I asked if there was any risk if I happened to be pregnant this month of causing problems, which apparently there is. She responded with "Well you're going for fertility treatment so it's unlikely isn't it?" (Er, thanks for pointing that out.) She finally did a test, which was negative, which she gleefully reported as if it proved her right.

I still declined the swab though, as I'm only 8 DPO, so it seems to me there's a tiny chance a test might not pick up anything yet. She clearly thought I was deluded, but it would be awful to have had the swab and then test positive later.

So looks like I'm out for this month. Trying to look on the bright side, I've got more tests booked in and am going to try the 4 days in a row thing this month.

ababsurdum · 14/10/2015 08:00

Hi all. I had bad news at my pre-Harmony scan last night. I've had a missed miscarriage, it looks like the baby stopped growing around 8 weeks following a successful scan at 7 weeks. Waiting for the epu to ring me this morning but I started having achey pain last night so I think things may happen naturally soon. Not looking forward to it but there's a great thread of tips on coping with the practicalities so I have a good idea what to expect. Once this is over we'll have to decide whether to ttc again. At the moment I'm thinking yes but will see how I feel later. Good luck to everyone trying at the moment, I hope this is your month.

Artioo2 · 14/10/2015 10:41

I'm so sorry ababsudunm, what horrible news for you. I hope you get through the next few days without too much discomfort.

FattyFishwife · 14/10/2015 14:28

oh abab Im so sorry to hear your sad news, sending you big loves xxx

ababsurdum · 14/10/2015 19:16

Thank you Artioo and Fatty. We went to the EPU this morning and have decided to do medical management. Unfortunately they can't give me the first drugs until Sunday so it's a waiting game. So far I've not started bleeding - gosh I just want it over!

Assuming I have no complications I'm getting more determined that we will try again straight away. If I was 33 and this had happened I wouldn't think twice so nor should I now even though, yes, the risk is higher.

Artioo what's the next step for you?

Fatty whereabouts are you in your cycle?

FattyFishwife · 14/10/2015 20:15

im in the TTW but not waiting if that makes sense. hubby was away working in London in my fertile week, and i think we only got one weekend BD in my fertile time, so im not even bothering to even hope/wonder/think about doing any sort of test or anything

however...hubby has booked us a night away in a hotel at the end of october, slap bang on my 'egg drop' day, as i like to call it, complete coincidence on his part but ive given him the brownie point for it! (ive temped for 2 months and found out that I actually DO ovulate, and when - CD 11)

PLUS I will have had all my supplements, i have ordered some conceive plus fertility lube to help the swimmers, i'll be somewhere private and uninterrupted to stick my arse in the air for as long as i want, stress and child free!

if all that doesnt work, then Ive told hubby im looking for a friend with benefitsworking sperm and a yoghurt pot and a syringe!! Smile Grin

its a good job we can laugh about it and rib each other after 30 years together, otherwise i think we would cry!!

but im thinking, realistically, that if i cant get my BFP after all the optimum things are in place at once, then it aint gonna happen, and we will give up at christmas.

question will be then, do i go for sterilization, so i dont get pregnant and end up with a baby with a 50 year old mum, or just leave it alone assuming that pregnancy is gonna be a no chance anyways.

TwinklyMusic · 14/10/2015 23:26

ababsurdum I am so sorry to hear your news. It's an awful thing to have to go through, and there aren't any words to make it better. Many of us on this thread have already been there and know what you are going through.

I had a mmc three weeks ago. I was lurking on the other thread (I wasn't feeling confident enough to post given previous miscarriages), so I know this is going to be a shock for you.

Do please read the mc support thread - it will provide you with lots of really good advice to help you be prepared. I know I wish I could have read it before my first miscarriage (which, btw, was when I was just 34, but even then I didn't know what that meant about my conception future).

If it helps, I got pregnant straight after we started trying after my previous miscarriages. I know we are older now, but it does happen.

I'm sure you will get back to ttc, but before that you need to look after yourself and get through the next few weeks. Right now you are probably a bit shocked (and for me, also oddly logical at that point). Things are probably going to get a bit grim and emotional, but you will come out the other side.

We're here if you need hand holding, and I will be thinking of you over the next few days. Flowers

ababsurdum · 15/10/2015 06:29

Thank you for your kind words Twinkly, I'm so sorry that you've been through this too and for your previous losses.

Still nothing here. The only good I can see with a mmc is perhaps the fact that your body is doing well to hold onto the pregnancy at all cost and that's perhaps a good thing for future viable pregnancies? clutches at straws

Artioo2 · 15/10/2015 10:11

Hope this bit is over quickly for you ababsurdum, it's the worse time, knowing but having to wait. Glad you're thinking of trying again - if you can get pregnant just a few weeks ago, you can do it again!

I'm in a bit of a limbo here. After my negative test on Monday, I tested again yesterday afternoon and thought I could see a very, very, very faint line. Really the kind of thing you have to tilt sideways and not directly look at to see ... but there was definitely something there. Tested again this morning and the same kind of thing, not really darker I don't think, but definitely there. DP could see it too. I'm trying not to get my hopes up or get too excited, as it's so early and so faint, but still, something must have caused the line, so something must have happened, which at least is a good sign in itself! Will report back tomorrow.

ababsurdum · 15/10/2015 11:54

Artioo that sounds very promising! Fingers crossed it's darker tomorrow.

Artioo2 · 15/10/2015 12:05

I didn't manage to hold out until tomorrow, caved and bought a First Response test just now. Definite line. Still trying to stay cautious, but it's there!

ababsurdum · 15/10/2015 12:14

Congratulations!!

FattyFishwife · 15/10/2015 16:40

congrats artioo im so pleased for you.

Ladies, I dont know if it will help any of you who have miscarried, but today is pregnancy and infant loss day, and there is to be a world wide wave of light, whereby people light a candle in memory of their lost little one/s at 7.00pm, some will be posting photos of their candles on facebook etc....so if you like, why not light a candle in memory of your little angles....or if not, just take comfort from people lighting candles all over the world, for angel babies everywhere

ababsurdum · 15/10/2015 17:28

I will try and do this Fatty though may be a bit late as I'm usually putting ds to bed then. It's a lovely idea.

TwinklyMusic · 15/10/2015 23:14

I have everything crossed for you Artioo. Really exciting! Congratulations!

TwinklyMusic · 15/10/2015 23:20

Hope you're doing ok ababsurdum.

That's really interesting Fatty. I just told my DH and said I wished I had known and I would have lighted a candle. He reminded me that I did light three candles at the dinner table tonight, so inadvertently that was aptly symbolic.

ababsurdum · 16/10/2015 09:26

I'm ok Twinkly, a bit deflated today. Wish I could go to bed for the day but I have ds to look after. Dh is working from home incase I need him but so far I've only got some light bleeding and some mild period type pain.

Artioo did you test again this morning?

Artioo2 · 16/10/2015 11:46

Hang in there Twinkly . If I were you I'd retreat to bed with DS. Cbeebies all the way!

I managed to resist testing again this morning. Going to hold out until Sunday as AF would be officially late by then.

notsoold · 16/10/2015 16:01

Artioo....Sunday??? That is will power!!!! Congratulations so far that was wonderful to read!