Over 40s TTC & success stories.

[Grizzer]

Starting a new thread for support & advice ladies. Not quite ready to graduate yet!

Hi Twinkly and version - yes it has gone a bit quiet hasn't it!

Twinkly - How are you feeling now? Please don't be hard on yourself over the cake cravings - your hormones must've been on quite a rollercoaster lately. Have you tested negative yet? (I've just checked, it took me 17 days after medical management of my MMC last year to test negative. Although it wasn't as though I was testing every day, so I guess it could've been sooner).

Version - Oh how plastic sticks are the source of such happiness! Can totally relate. Am amazed that DP isn't similarly excited to received texted photos of smiley faces . Do you think you could've just missed the surge in previous months? How often do you test? I've found that if I followed the packet instructions and tested once a day with FMU, I'd probably miss the surge more often than not. So I tend to do once a day until I think its thereabouts (from the calendar and ahem, other signs) then twice a day (at least) - it's expensive! But I've sometimes found a surge on one afternoon and then that's that.

I've just had a bit of read back upthread. I'm really, really sorry to read about your loss too Slinky. What a terrible shock after your encouraging scan. I hope you're bearing up OK?

It seems I also missed two BFP's! If you're still around - many congratulations to abasurdum and notsoold . Just brilliant! Hope everything's going well?

Because of my age - which I can't bring myself to write down, but suffice to say my DD (naturally conceived BTW) born almost on my 44th birthday has just turned 27 months, jees! - I've paid for some cycle monitoring by ultrasound scans for this cycle and last. You know, just to see if everything at least has the appearance of still being in working order.

So last cycle, although we didn’t ‘try’ at all (long story, I needed to bed in a new dose of Thyroid meds) I had a scan to check the baseline antral follicle count (12) and another scan on day 11. That found an almost mature follicle (17 mm) which they said would probably ovulate in the next couple of days.

This cycle we started ‘trying’ again. (Oh the joy, I'd missed TTC sex so much - not.) So I had a baseline scan which again showed 12 antral follicles (although different numbers on left and right from last time) and then a scan showing a mature follicle – almost ready to go – on day 15 (19.9 mm). I then had a positive OPK the next morning (day 16).

So it looks like I ovulated on completely different days these past two months (last month somewhere between CD 12 – 14, this month perhaps CD 16 – 17). On the other hand, it was definitely from the same ovary (left side each time) which I guess shows I don’t necessarily ovulate from alternate sides each month.

None of this detailed info is going to actually help me get upduffed though, is it? Had a massive row with DP for being totally inflexible about his work commitments – when (in my view) he could’ve been – so we missed the ‘best’ day for shagging. Aaargh men! I swear it would sometimes be so much easier to get this job done without them! Although we still managed every other day (from CD 11 – 18) I’m not sure I believe in the EOD theory. It’s got to depend where the day ‘on’ falls hasn’t it? I’d have preferred every day on the ‘crucial’ couple of days. I'd love to know what anyone else thinks about EOD vs ED?

Oops, that post about opk positives was me, Artioo, getting in a mess with my login again.

Chewygiraffe, I was testing around the middle of the day with cheapie sticks, so could have been missing it, but then last month started testing twice a day and still nothing. The difference this month was that the day I got my positive I tested at gone 8pm, the latest I've done it, so maybe my surge happens in the evenings which is why I've been missing it. I also used a Clear Blue test this month and got a smiley on that too, so double reassurance.

I send myself slightly mad with all the every other day stuff. It doesn't seem enough during the actual fertile window, but we do rather struggle with doing it every day. And some things I've read say that every day reduces sperm count. We don't know yet what DP's sperm count is, so I don't actually know if this is an issue or not.

We had a similar issue with almost missing the 'best' day this weekend because DP stayed out late the night before and was in no fit state to do anything the next day ... I was merciless and made him though. :)

Artioo - lol to being merciless! Good luck with your 2ww x

chewy I tend to believe that dtd before or on the 'crucial' is more effective, but only because that's what has always worked for me... I found the EOD schedule far to exhausting and even more a chore. We usually dtd for 3 days in a row over my ovulation date. And I have fallen pg in the past with dtd once on ovulation day!

Thanks cloud - hope you're having an entirely uneventful pregnancy - you must be 'lots' pregnant by now? (Sorry I can't remember when you're due).

I'd be very happy indeed if we could achieve DTD 3 days in a row over my ovulation date! At risk of sounding very stupid - how are you pinpointing ovulation? Do you take it as being the day of positive OPK? I'm hoping you don't mean by temping - oh the effort!

chewy I have always used a combined approach of temping and opks, which tended to match quite well. The temping helped me realise that my ovulation has come forward in the last 2 years.
The day I got a +ve OPK would be Day 1 for dtd, as I would normally ovulate within 24 hours of that (confirmed by the temp rise). I found that dtd after ovulation never had any result for me, so the day 3 shag was kind of optional... thrown in for good measure, just to make sure I would catch a straggling egg (if there is such a thing).

Having said all that, with this pregnancy, I honestly thought that we completely missed the boat (started dtd too early, then had to stop because I felt a uti coming on), but it still worked!

I'm 27+3 now, and feeling lots pregnant - i.e. I'm massive and getting more and more immobile (but not waddling just yet!)

Im still here....fertile week, but sadly hubster is working away in London this week, managed to DTD on sunday nigth before he went, but thats it now for this months 'window'....still once is all it takes sometimes!

nice to hear from you cloud, and glad all is going well xxx

I am so lazy that we EOD during the fertile window only, i.e. When the test line starts to appear, it is dtd, then next two days line is positive or thereabouts, we continue EOD. maybe need 2-3 shags to cover the window. The rest is for fun, if such thing still exists after almost 5 y of ttc. it obviously worked and got me pg. Given up now, more like not trying not preventing, but since my ov manifests in ovarian pain (always right side pain, weird), I know anyway whether we did sth during the fertile window or not. usually we do, as I also feel more interested during this period:-)

Great to hear from everyone!

Chewy I'm still tired, but doing ok, thanks for asking. I'm signed off work until next week. I would consider asking for more time - just because of the tiredness if nothing else - but I'm due to take some leave anyhow for a family event. I might just go in for a day and take regular leave as psychologically being 'back at work' means things are returning to normal.

The EPU asked me to wait another week (from now) before testing again, so I haven't bothered in the meantime. I think my hormones are slowly returning to normal. I have fewer weepy moments (although still sadness) and I had my first glass of wine over the weekend (I had no taste for alcohol at all before that).

In relation to ttc, our normal pattern is EOD roughly over the fertile period. I've also heard that this is better for sperm quality. Pre-40, we sometimes only needed to do it once before getting upduffed! Nowadays it appears more... challenging!

Can I ask what supplements people are taking to improve egg quality?

I think Chewy, Artioo and Fatty are all in the tww, is that right? Best of luck then - I'm sure we're due more BFPs!

Hello all!!!!! I am still lurking here as well as going full move to the pg thread feels like I am a fraud and tempting fate. So I visit them there bu5 please let me stay for longer here.
I am 6+4 and epu decided to give me an early scan due to my age and mmcs. It will be on Friday and to say I am panicking is not to exaggerate!!!. Luckily I have ds2 party on the following day so quite busy. But what will I do if I get bad news?

chewy (hiya) I never did temping but observed my cm. And used an app for pointing to the ovulation time...tlbecause clfm after ds2 never worked properly for me and the sticks worked well but the good ones too expensive and the ic never said if I was ovulating

Notao, lets hope the news are good. But if bad, well, unfortunately we know the drill. We carry on..... But first, it will be positive news, it has to be.....

Hello everybody! I saw you were pondering the merits of EOD, Chewy and thought I'd give you my story: we tried for almost two years after a miscarriage fervently having sex every day for five - sometimes six or seven - days on the trot over my fertile window and beyond to no avail. When this became too much we tried the SMEP (I kept reading that the fella's ball bag must be renewed right through one's cycle and that we mustn't concentrate out efforts solely on the fertile window.) My consultant was particularly aghast to learn that we concentrated on having sex mainly according to my chart temps and opk's and he more or less convinced me that this was most definitely why we hadn't got pregnant in all that time. In other words, only sex right through the cycle would guarantee covering all bases.

We fell pregnant the first month of taking part in the Clearblue trial where we were sent a free box of the digital smiley sticks. I continued with my cheapie internet OPKs, too, and, just as I suspected, they both correlated. This was the cycle I fell pregnant, and here is my chart including the days we had sex. So..no 'healthy and regular ejaculation' throughout the cycle. Literally just those four days. It was the first time we had ever ditched all the sex theories bar the EOD being good for an older man's sperm.

Mind you, I do wonder was it this or, as I also suspect, the supplements we had both been taking religiously for the three months up to conception (especially me: I had begun maca root and co-enzyme q10 at 400mg per day - two supplements I had ignored for my whole ttc journey as I deemed them too expensive)?

I'm 24 wks pregnant tomorrow and we are having a boy (we have a baby girl already). I am 45.5 and DH is 46. I wish you all masses of luck

Sorry, here is my pregnancy chart....

Ooh, I almost forgot to mention that this cycle was the first since charting three years ago where I ovulated as early as CD14. Granted my usual ov day was CD15 - so only a day earlier - but it does make me wonder...could just 24 hours of the egg being 'younger' have been the tipping point?

Perhaps doing all you can to bring ovulation forward - even by a day - might just help? I've no idea how to do this - it just happened for me out of the blue (again, any one of those supplements could have helped?)

Thanks for the info Flottilaz, that's really interesting. Great news on your pregnancy. My plan for next month is to buy a Clear Blue smiley whatsit again. They might be pricey but I do like the way it gives you your fertile days with no obsessing over how dark or otherwise a line is.

Good luck with the scan notsoold.

That's really interesting Flottilaz, thanks for sharing. It is great also to hear all is going so well.

Can I ask what type of coq10 you took? I read on another thread that one type is more effective, but can't remember the details. I haven't taken maca root before, but I will try it.

Thank you, ladies. Twinkly, I have just read of your miscarriage and I am so, so sorry. Bless you, it's so hard when we lose babies in our forties when time is so against us, but please...please don't think this reduces your chances. Your time again will come around

I bought my coenzyme q10 from Amazon and they're Puritan's Pride soft gels. There are 120 x 200mg in the tub so supposedly a 4 month supply. However, Chewy once posted a link to The Lister (a renowned IVF clinic) who attest to 300mg being the minimum dose a woman should be taking per day. I decided to take 400mg as for twenty quid I was happy for them to last 2 months. Unfortunately Amazon have increased the price by four pounds. Bastards

Maca root just made sense as it is packed with protein. Did I also mention I was eating 21 eggs per week in the three-month run-up to conceiving? I wasn't experimenting with protein (honest!) I had simply found I loved my three-egg, cheese and spinach omelette every morning for breakfast as it drove my energy splendidly through to lunchtime.

Hi - I'm new here. Hello everyone. waves I'm 41 and ttc for 24 months now. My husband already has a son, aged 15 but this would be my first. I just so want it to happen and it's hard when each month it doesn't. It should be the most natural thing in the world to fall pregnant You end up thinking is there anything you are doing wrong. It's like your body is letting you down.

What's particularly difficult is watching close friends fall pregnant, have their babies and all the time you're still trying. It's nice to see a thread like this where women can be in the same boat. Good luck everyone. Wishing you all a beautiful baby. xx

hello. i've been looking at this board from time to time for support and inspiration. i know it's hard, but don't give up ladies. i didn't meet the right person until i was 36. i had my first miscarriage at 38 and it hit me like a brick. had my first daughter at 39... then another miscarriage at 40... fell pregnant again at 41 and about to give birth to daughter number 2 at 42. it is possible. i've read some really negative and nasty comments from a few people on this board over the past 12 months and would urge you all to ignore this sort of thing. my feeling is that miscarriages are unfortunately part and parcel of trying to get pregnant at an older age but try not to let this fact or the age thing overwhelm or produce overly negative or defeatist thoughts. stay positive. good luck to all. you're all amazing and fantastic women. xxxx

ps - it was the clearblue fertility monitor that really helped me too. don't get me wrong. some days i flippin' hated those stupid sticks esp. when they seemed to make no sense whatsoever. but generally i found them, combined with monitor mucus changes, to be the most useful indicator of when to go for it.

Thanks for your positive story missl1, and welcome Hannah.

Another positive story for everyone; my gran, who is 90, asked me today if we were planning another baby (no one else asks this - I think because our son died they feel awkward). I said we were trying but I was worried about my age, and she told me about my great grandmother, who had 12 kids, the last one, born completely healthy when she was 48, and at least one more, if not two, in her 40s.

According to my gran, it wasn't even considered very unusual in those days to have children into your 40s, as women tended to have more and just kept going.

hi to miss and hannah hope you enjoy your stay here

miss thanks for the inspirational words...this gives me some hope!
hannah hope your stay here results in a BFP for you xx

Hi to miss and Hannah.

Lovely story from your Gran Artioo - I'm so glad she supported you like that. I think she's right - I'm sure my great-grandparents also had children well into their forties. Indeed, I'm pretty sure my Gran had her last child in her mid forties. And nothing was thought of it.

Thanks so much for the kind words Flottilaz, they really help. There's a lot of hope in hearing of success stories like yours and Cloud and Grizzer and also the other ladies on the pregnancy thread. I lurked there (hopefully!) for a while - it's a lovely thread too.

I have to say, though, I really appreciate the kindness and understanding of everyone on this thread. Thank you.

So I just made the mistake of looking up how much caffeine is in a Costa coffee whist in the queue. Eeep. Still having a coffee, but it's bloody rooibos for me for the rest of the day now. Are other people cutting back / cutting out caffeine? I think I find it harder than stopping the booze.

Thinking of you with your scan today notsoold, hope it's a breeze.