The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Hope transfer goes well Barking!

2 embies on board.

Blue very impressed with your level of calm!

Erica I was like that last time, and found hypnotherapy helped.
I have no idea why, but right now I'm as chilled out as I have been for weeks. I reserve the right to fall apart tomorrow though.

Yay, Barking embies. Hold on tight little ones

Amazing news Barking. Oh guys, I am rooting for you both Blue

Thanks both for the advice. I think a lot of the stress comes from the fact that this is it... we are sort of willing to try IVF 2-3 times (or for as long as we can afford it, financially and emotionally) but I think that if we miscarry again, that's it for us. We need to get our lives back.

I guess that it feels like while we do not try IVF, we can pretend that we are "just trying naturally" (HA HA HA HA! You hit the nail on the head about that fallacy, Blue) and we could become one of those legendary couples for whom things end up working out somehow.

But this is the real thing now. I just hope we manage to communicate as a couple and go through it supporting each other.

I had not considered hypnotherapy Barking but some ladies in the rmc FB group recommended an acupuncturist that I may try.

Hypo tomorrow! let's see what they say and take it one day and a step at a time!

Hope all goes well tomorrow Erica - keep us updated

I have the crazies today, think it's being back from hols and not being able to anxiously superglue myself to Mr B whenever I want. And the Fanjo bullets. But yep, I'm crazy today - have googled every IVF question in the world and read a million and one mumsnet posts. Now off to Facebook to make it worse

Watched puppy videos on utube - feel better now

Arghh! New student in the office, 24 weeks pregnant (incapable of doing anything as a result ) but all talk is about the fucking baby and baby furniture. I'm going to hit her. That's ok isn't it??

Bad news for me, hags.

The hysto showed some left over from the miscarriage tissue, which, while it does not have a risk of infection at the moment, it is acting like IUD contraceptive... So I need another D&C, which I cannot do for a month (away for work)... And then presumably we start again.

So sad and pissed off. And furious with the two consultants that have dildocammed twice in the last 5 weeks and failed to see a two cm tissue.

I really feel at the deepest pit of despair.

Oh fuck Erica, I'm so sorry to hear it. Im not surprised you are furious. It's so unfair that this is happening for you.

Toe hold and cockles of comfort to my lovely Hag. My thoughts are with you.

Thanks Blue. It just seems that everything that could possibly go wrong is indeed going wrong... Maybe this is all fucking stupid, why am I putting myself through this?

I think cos you want a baby my love and you've been dealt a shit hand so it must currently feel like there is no choice. Do you still have access to your therapist?

I think I need my therapist!

However... Doctor (the new doctor) just rang and proposed we try to remove the tissue with suppositories first. Failing that, another hysteroscopy instead of a D&C. He was super nice and reassuring. Faith in human nature restored!

Also had a nutella muffin. It was a gorgeous thing. Valium and chocolate seems to be a winning combo in times of crisis.

How are the crazies today, Blue?

You and your chocolate/bread obsession are an adorable combination glad things are looking up a little.

Crazies are better today because I've been busy, am sure to be crazy again tomorrow when I've nothing to do

erica that's just balls. Everything crossed you can get rid of it without another d&c. Loving the valium and chocolate .

blue From past experience I think the crazies get crazier the closer you get to otd.

As you can probably see from the time of posting, the insomnia is still very much with me. I ordered a two pack of pg tests at 4am. Didn't dare even buy any until transfer had happened, felt like I was being presumptuous that there'd even be a point.

I haven't bought a preg test yet, I'm so cheap I'm waiting until Friday in case I start to bleed before then.

I think the crazies are partly the hormones I'm having to stick in my Fanjo - I've always been so sensitive to hormones so they're making me pretty tearful. And when I'm fearful I get a migraine - and usually what I then do is either take codine or drink myself to sleep and I can't do either of those right now "just in case" so I've barely slept and can currently one really see through one eye. Happy bank holiday to us hey hags ...

I'm bored - I thought "oh I'll stick some fake nails on" (let's pretend that's ok for a minute) and then I realised I can't. Why? Because I have to stick my fingers up for Fanjo 2x a day for Fanjo bullets!! Ffs

blue I refuse to pay shop prices so had to order online to have one in the house by Friday! For each previous round the progesterone has held off the droid for me, and I'm too impatient to wait anyway. Having said that, I waa in denial last time and didn't pimp until otd as I couldn't face it.

Ooh are they cheaper online? Where from?

Yep I'm in denial too, aside from the migraine which is either due to the hormones or giving up caffeine

Just Amazon. Cheaper than most chemists anyway.
Is it Friday yet? Just want to know.....

Amazon one step pregnancy tests are shit at the moment (despite claiming 10miu) - they're not even as sensitive as a digi. Testing with these will tell you nada until 14/15dpo at least

New recommendation is superdrug early response which are working well before frer

merk I've got a two pack of FRER. Gave me a bfp at 12dpo after the iui and I'm not testing until 10dp4dt hahahahaha

Frer really not so sensitive either at the mo. Might be ok if they're older ones

Ooh thanks for the advice merk and barking

Yes barking, I want it to be Friday too because then it's nearly Saturday I'm now going crazy trying not to pimp. I'm on a Czech board too and one lady who's transfer was 1 day after mine has got a bfp already! I've not even told Mr B that pimping is an option because I think he's really want to and I still want to be in denial ...

Blue you are 8dp5dt or the equivalent of 13dpo today so technically the droid would be due tomorrow in any normal cycle and if you pimped in the morning you'd get a reliable result.
Go on you know you want to
^^