The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Your fanjo is trying to send you mad Erica! I really admire you managing with this, i can't believe what a rough journey you are having. Imagine some people just get an uneventful pregnancy ... .

Thinking of you Hag, toe holds throughout this

Thanks Blue. After the best big bleed, I realised this may be par for the course for the next few weeks so I tried to prepare myself... which is not to say I don't wail inside every time it happens. Specially because the bleeding will completely stop for 2-3 days, making me think "maybe it will now stop for good?". 2.5 weeks to go to 12 weeks...

How are you doing, hag?

"Best big bleed"?? Jesus. You know what I mean...

Counting down those 2.5 weeks and the rest for you.

I'm ok, doing alright. Work is absolutely crazy right now so it's really my central focus. I'm at peace about my dad though, doing ok.

Was supposed to start treatment in Czech in Jan but had to cancel because of all that happened. Have booked in again for March so just waiting for now. We should do the sechs in a couple of days but I just can't be arsed ...

Hey,

How are you feeling about starting treatment?

I am going to obviously encourage you to to some TTC sechs because you never know , clearly, but I understand that it sucks so so so hard. It has damaged our relationship in so many ways and it is going to take a long time to get back to us, baby or not baby.

Funnily enough, now that we are finally free of TTC sex, we cannot have any sort of sex because of the bleeding...

Yeah the TTC sex fucks everyone over I think pun intended I do actually want to sechs him just not when I know I have to. I also know i should, this is the ironidiff thread after all and we seem to be doing relatively well with it but still ... I can't be arsed ....

Just saying hello because this fell off my "threads I'm on" ...

Hey Blue :)

How are you? Had some more bleeding today. Going for a second opinion on Friday because I can't fucking deal with "these things happen, just relax" anymore.

Been thinking of you, don't blame the second opinion wanting. I honestly don't know how you're managing this.

I'm fine, nothing new. Got food poisoning so am getting lots of "ooh throwing up all day? You must be upduffed" - trust me, I'm really not, I know my cycle better than an Olympic cyclist

Oh Blue. That reminded me of a friend suggesting that I could try to track my cycles or maybe even use OPKs (had I heard of them??) because it was possible that we were just having sex at the wrong time.

This was when we has been trying for over two years . Dude, by then I had my fertile days tracked six months in advance.

Bleeding seems to have stopped again. I could potentially wait till my appointment on Friday for a scan but who am kidding? I will probably be there tomorrow, tops. Bit embarrassing though, to go four times in two weeks?

They should buy an extra ultrasound machine and name it after me.

P.S I know I am super lucky to have a private insurance that allows me to go to the clinic (with or without side dish of embarrassment) for a scan whenever I have a bleed so I hope I am not coming accross super spoilt.

You don't sound spoilt, I actually like the idea of an Erica machine I would be doing exactly the same

Hey hags,

Mc-d again. In total shock, it all happened so quickly...

Wishing all the hags better luck. We are not quite ready to give up yet, it seems, so I will stick around if that is ok.

Fuck, wank, bollocks, cunt! Erica, I'm so so sorry, I've been thinking of you every day and I'm so sorry this has happened.

Thanks Blue. I am going all out in looking after myself this time... fuck being stoic. I am signed off work, Mr Erica working from home and scheduled to see my therapist 2-3 times a week until I feel a bit less fragile.

I just cannot believe we have to go through this again. Life sucks so hard

I'm really pleased you have been able to take time to look after yourself. This is so so hard and you shouldn't have to pretend it isn't hard.

I have no appropriate fish to send your way so please accept my love instead and pretend for a minute this isn't a besh thread

Just letting you know I'm thinking of you Hag

Thanks Blue. I am so sad. I feel sad and ashamed and guilty that my body is doing this. It may be irrational but I want to get out of my skin, I feel so bad in it.

Oh love, our sadness is often irrational but that doesn't make it less painful. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know this is silly but if there is anything I can do then let me know.

(I always get MN on my phone but if you wanted to PM to have an off thread place to talk let me know about it here and I'll go onto a computer)

I've not been around but just saw, erica I'm so sorry look after yourself and if you need anyone to talk to, I second blue, please feel free to get in touch. I don't know where all the other BESH have gone..

I don't think the BESH are doing well, I fear this thread my eventually stop the tradition that is the bESH. I think some people have found it so quiet here that they've found other threads to stay active in. For some crazy reason I hate the idea of the BESH not being around anymore, it's such a long standing tradition but we haven't had any new recruits in a while

I agree Blue!

Thanks Coop - how is going for you?

I think I am going to take a couple of months for recovery and then go for IVF. Give it one more year and then look into adoption. I must be crazy to carry on down this road but I sort of feel it cannot get much worse... right??

We have no other choice but to be crazy raccoonbutterfly fish of rest and recovery to you Hag

Yo hags, sorry to come by and find this bloody awful news amongst the tumbleweed. Erica I'm so fucking sorry for you, toe holds and arm rubs aplenty, you don't deserve this hag, life is so fucking unfair at times.

Blue sorry to see you have troubles enough of your own, gawd life can give nothing but wank sometimes. Hoping you get back on route to Czech soon.

We have shizzle going down too I won't go into it, I'm kind of bored of the story to be honest, but safe to say it's putting any hope of regrouping for another IVF bash so far out the park it's not even worth thinking about at the moment hence the radio silence.

Alas the BESH seem right up against it at the mo. Keep kicking though fellas, I'll have another good howl at the moon for us all tonight. Buckets of prawns et al and see you anon.

Chez!! It's so nice to see you! Hello

Sorry to hear of the schizzle, schizzle is shit