The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Rain I am so so sorry to hear your news. How devastating this must be. Sending you cockles, mussels, hell any fish I can find in sympathy. This is shit. :(

Rain, I'm so sorry to hear your news, I hope that you can reach a resolution you can find peace with. Thinking of you hag X

Thanks hags. Yes, he is a cunt, a dick, a total arsewipe, a douche canoe and every other choice insult going but I shall survive and thrive (eventually!). It's weird, in a lot of ways I feel really liberated right now. Having the whole infertility issue forcibly removed from my immediate focus has key me actually think about ME and what I want. That's not to say I'm suddenly not interested any more, far from it, but I an definitely feeling like I actually have options now. Weird eh?
Anyway, I shall no doubt continue to lurk here to cheer you ask on. Maybe there can be an honorary BESH role for me!!

Happy New year anyway luffly hags, may 2016 be the corker you all so deserve

Fuck a duck, excuse all the typos, phone!!

You are ace, Rain, whatever you choose you will totally rock at luffs you Hag

rain candle I'm thinking about you a lot. My exh is referred to as 'The Idiot' and that's actually the name I use if he comes up in conversation with friends who knew him. It's a mild term, but means it can be used in polite conversation .

Happy New Year hags, 2015 has officially fucked off!
And I'm still waiting for my goddammed droid. 7 weeks tomorrow. I'll be on the phone to the fc in the morning along with every other woman that called while they were shut over the holidays

Rain/Candle - I'm so sorry to hear that. What a cunt, what an absolute cunt. Glad you have space to focus on yourself now. I hope this year is good to and for you. If you do decide to divorce, take him to the fucking cleaners. That sounds dreadfully bitter but fuck him.

Crap Xmas, better new year, focussing on being teetotal now and waiting for the referral letter to go through so we can get IVF booked in. Nuffield i'm using is quite slow & oversubscribed, so probably not til march. Just as well means I can get diet/booze sorted first and a holiday in February/early March out the way.

Barking hope you get through soon & get yourself some drugs/something to help kickstart it all again. It's the fucking waiting that's so incredibly dull.

Spent the past 3 days finally just me and OH alone at home, binge watching sopranos and living off crisps. More of the same I think today.

It's so annoying that clinics close for Xmas isn't it barking? I would be about to start stabbing if they didn't but am now gonna have to wait till March (so we can stab together icy!) did you speak to the clinic barking?

still think RAF's a cock but will keep myself quiet now

Called the clinic twice. Left a message. No call back.

Twats I'm clearly in an aggressive mood, can you tell

Urggh!! Pregnancy announcement at work- took me by surprise - feel winded .... Urgghhhh my turn, it's my turn

Sorry blue, must be more difficult at work as you can't really escape until the end of the day..

And another one today coop - she's only 11 weeks gone and already everyone knows - oh the innocence of never even considering something could go wrong hey?

Sorry for the bumps Blue. We got a mass email today from bump who left on maternity at the same time as the last mc. She dropped. All of us doing well, we'll drop in and say hello soon! Is it rude to reply Please don't. ?

Cd54. No fucking sign of the droid. It's almost 8 shitting weeks!!!!

You know what I find odd barking, is that anyone thinks we actually care about their babies pretty sure I was like this before I was a bitter Hag

Sorry to hear about the droid, it's so hard when there is nothing you can do but wait. Very fucking unfair

Sorry to hear it Barking. Also sorry to hear about all the bumps. Bloody awful.
Nothing positive or particularly interesting to add, I'm afraid. Weekend at least.

Forgot(!) to chase consultant today so god knows whether referral went off or not.

Crisps tonight at least.

Hey hags,

It has been a long time. Basically, things were horrendous at home, my mental health was all over the place and even though we had "decided" to give IVF a go this year, I really could not see it. It did not seem that I was in the right state of mind, or that we were strong enough as a couple. Just thinking about TTC/IVF filled me with anxiety.

So while I was quite a wreck I got ironidiffed. I could not believe it. I am now 9 wks and had two good scans but also have (still) quite heavy bleeding, no cramps though. They think it is caused by the implantation of the placenta + heparin but I find it hard to be optimistic after my previous experiences so here we are, waiting and seeing.

If we lose this one, I think we are just going to let it go and try to repair our infertility damaged relationship and accept that we just won't have kids. I want my life back, I think I am ready.

Barking I am so sorry to hear about your mc.

Rain/Candle sending you hugs. We have nearly been there and who knows what will happen in the future. It just sucks.

Hi to everyone else. I have missed you, hags.

Erica my love - I have missed you and often thought of you, it's good to see you back.

Congratulations Hag, I know you must be terrified so I have all my appendages crossed that this works out for you.

Blue Just read the thread again properly. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Thinking of you and your family. Hope you are looking after yourself.

Hope this does not come across as leaving the thread and then coming back with a pregnancy announcement. I posted on other boards asking about this placental bleeding thing and it seemed crappy not to say hi to the hags. Can't believe all the stuff that has been going on.

Thinking of going for another scan tomorrow, that would be the third in a week. They won't refuse (private clinic) but my gyno reckons it is not necessary and I am better off resting (the bean was fine after epic bleeding on Wednesday) but I think I am going to ask to be signed off work until week 12. It would suck to do that, tell work, cancel/hand over my projects and then find out I miscarried over the week end anyway.

Thanks love

Personally I'm really pleased to have you back - a true hags pregnancy announcement is great. Will you be sticking around here? until you join the PESH

I'm no help really on the scans. It must be so hard and in someways harder when you know you can get a scam when you need it. I honestly don't know what's best, maybe a wiser hag than I will come around soon .... Hags? Wisdom please ...??

Blue I lost my mum 2.5 years ago. It is horrible but it does get better, I promise. Grieving +TTC is super stressful (I also kept thinking that it would make my dad ever so happy if I had a baby etc) so take it easy. Therapy really helped me.

I would love to stick around if the hags are ok with that.

The bleeding has completely stopped again. It is really odd. Never had a period or miscarriage like this. It is as if they opened the blood tap for a few hours and then closed it again.

I think I am going to wait a few days for a scan, say 4-5 days of no bleeding so I can assume it is clearing up, or the mega bleed of a miscarriage. Of course I say this now but I may be at the clinic at 8 am tomorrow morning if I get the crazies again.

I'm not sure Hag crazies are really crazy - instadiffers on the other hand, THEY get the crazies, we get perfectly reasonable worries.

Thanks Erica, I did think about you and your mum when my dad died. we seem to be doing well as a family though so I think we will be ok.

Again, it's ace to see you back (we are a pretty quiet Fred now a days so it may be a few more days before someone else comes along)

erica, congratulations hag, so glad to see you posting again. I have everything crossed for you that this works out

I'm not sure what's happened to this thread, I've joined a very busy one in the infertility board but trying to not spend too much time on mn to be honest

Thanks Cooper, really appreciate it!

And I know what you mean about trying not to spend too much time on MN. BESH is great but spending even more time thinking about TTC or all the things can go wrong with a pregnancy is not great for the mental health (ok, I know they are lots of "cute" posts about baby clothes and trying to figure out the gender on a 12 week scan but it is not like I am going to go on those, is it??)

I am going for a scan on Friday, unless I have another bleed before that. I am hoping I am still pregnant. I am really paranoid that I miscarried after the last scan and not realised, even though my previous mcs were pretty fucking painful, you would definitely notice. My fear is not only that they won't find a heart beat on Friday (that fear will always be there) but that there will be nothing at all there! Argh!

Hey hags,

Quick update: had another bleed and went for a scan. It all looks well and the cervix is closed. All this while I am bleeding like on a heavy period? I am delighted obviously but also a bit wtf. Surely the placenta implanting would not make you bleed on and off for a week?

They are going to run some tests to see if it is a blood thinners/clotting issue...