The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Blue both my clinics count cd1 as the day you wake up with full flow. Which is still difficult to identify if you're me and go from spotting to a little more, to perhaps one day of torrent. How much blood is full flow?!

Icy we had a forced ttc break when waiting for results from the rmc. I started drinking again, threw myself into all my sports and generally tried to have the life that was being put on hold. But that was a proper break - ie we used condoms so there was no false hope each month. Did my head a whole world of good

coop still struggling over here. Not sleeping more than 5 hours a night and shit loads of stuff to do on the house which goes on the market this weekend!
Utterly terrified at the thought of the scan on Thursday. Makes me cry just thinking about it.

Keeping everything crossed for you Barking.

Everything crossed for you here too, barking.

Sorry Hags, I'm not keeping up with the thread!

Icy, sorry to hear things are shit. This is all truly crap, I wish I had wise words but I don't

We've had TTC breaks, they are the best thing ever. For me it just helps to not have to make him sechs me. I'm gonna do another this month, a fucking ironidiff isn't coming my way so I might as well just have a month out.

Barking, I dreamt about you the other night! (I've no idea how seeing as I've no idea what you look like but I do know I woke up thinking "ha, that was a dream about barking") so I'm thinking of you lots with crazy mental dwarves with all the ranging emotions
Haddock of hope to you Hag

Hope you got all of your house stuff done barking, thinking of you

I slept last night for the first time in two weeks. No nausea this morning. Would be 6wks by dates which is when both the others stopped growing. Then I started spotting, first when I wiped and now in the pad as well.
I'm going to call the gp/epu tomorrow.

Thinking of you barking

Have you been able to get an appt Barking? Thinking of you x

Thinking of you barking. Hope you can get an appointment asap.

Hope you've had an appointment and everything crossed barking

It's all over. Miscarriage three here I come. Cramps have started already. Hideousness awaits. Scan confirmed there was no viable pregnancy but I still have to go back in a week for another one.

I'm so so sorry barking. I know nothing we can say will make a difference, but I'm thinking of you and saying cunt on your behalf life is a bag of fucking bollocks. Look after yourself

Oh barking, love. I'm so sorry, how very fucking unfair

Oh barking that is just so fucking unfair and shitty. I hate that this has happened again for you. It is so soul destroying.

Barking that's horrible. I'm so so dreadfully sorry.

Hcg has already started dropping. Heavier bleeding overnight.
I've been crying a lot but the hysterics haven't started yet, scared of when it hits. Stopped progesterone so waiting for that hormone crash as well.

I'm so sorry. I haven't been through what you're going through but my heart truly does go out to you.

This may not be helpful for you, might not be your thing, but would it be worth seeing your GP and asking for a mild sedative to take over the short term to help get though the next few weeks?

icy that's a good point, I happen to have some from last time I can knock myself out with tonight - thanks for reminding me

I can also have a glass of wine now, but I'm not sure that's a sensible idea.

Finally spoke to my mum. She was okay, no stupid comments. She didn't answer the first time as she and Dad were at an MSA support group. She'd been speaking to a man who lost his wife to MSA last year, and was asking about her last months. She deteriorated quickly after she'd been confined to a wheelchair. Spent a couple of months in hospital then a couple of months in a hospice before she died. So, cheery news. If this pg had worked I might have been able to make my dad a grandad before it was too late. It's highly unlikely he's still going to be around by the birth now even if we manage a successful pg next year. Fucking hell. Never rains but it pours, hey?

I'm so sorry this is happening barking. It's all fucking shit and I'm furious at the world on your behalf.

Thanks for the tip Icy, I knocked myself out when it was really hurting last night and managed to sleep through until about 5.
I'm scared. I'm crying, but the hysterical, all-consuming grief hasn't kicked in yet and I know it's coming. I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through this again. What the hell is going to be left of me this time?

Glad you slept. The hysterical grief may not transpire. You may find that your mind sort of shuts down to help to insulate you from the trauma... And don't feel if you don't have hysterical thing than you're grieving any less than before. You've been through so much of this shit. It's not fucking fair. Do see your GP if it's all feeling too much; you mustn't deal with it alone.

I hope you're off work?
How's your other half coping?

I'm so sorry you've got to go through this.

As Icy says, do whatever you need to, there is no right or wrong for this

Thanks hags.
I'm off work, DCW didn't take any time off. Not coping well today.

I'm glad you have time off work, I don't even know if there is such thing as coping in these circumstances, more like surviving

Barking, I'm so sorry. It's so fucking unfair. Thinking of you.