The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Ely I'm very impressed - a completed beshtionnaire at first post!

Come on in Hag, welcome to the BESH sorry you have to be here

Oh I also don't know what R2T2 is either

Welcome ely, also sorry you have to be here. Where are you up to on this delightful journey?

Thanks blue & cooper!! :) Have had all the standard NHS stuff - blood tests, cycle monitoring, HSG. All more or less normal with the exception of ultrasounds which showed endometrioma (chocolate cysts caused by endometriosis, which I already had strong suspicions that I had due to extremely painful AF) on both ovaries. Had laparoscopy in August to remove those and any other endo they found whilst in there and have been sent away to try again for another 6 months. If that doesn't work then it's time to think about IVF (scary!!) Two cycles on I'm beginning to lose hope / face facts ... And my last AF didn't even have the decency to be non-painful (talking totally incapacitated for half an hour followed by drugged up to eyeballs for rest of day) - wtf is going on in there!!

Oh and I am 30, OH is 32.

Hey elly. Sorry you're here (gin at 9.30?! Strong start)

I had a lap back in July to drill ovaries and remove endo and clear a tube. Doc told us to come back in 3 months so we duly had our appointment last week. I could scream.

This baby thing is holding up our lives. For example OH refuses to marry me until the later of a) Having a baby; or b) convincing him that if I can't have a baby with him I won't leave him for someone younger giving me more time.

I keep explaining that if I left him, where would I go, how long would it take to meet someone who's compatible and suitable to potentially have children with? Would be a few years. So if I left him when he was 50, I'd be 31 and then by the time I find the next poor fucker bloke I'd be firmly in mid 30s (I'm 28 btw, in contravention of hag rules but a much older Mr Icy makes me feel ancient): having failed to conceive naturally, if IVF doesn't work for me at 28/29, what chance will it have at 35. That's the general thrust of the argument, on top of the whole "I actually love you and don't want to be with anyone else" point, which I need to do more to convince him of it seems.

Another shit week, shitty money complications (which wouldn't be there if we were bloody married), ex wife fucking drama and arguments. Just hate hate hate everything.

Sorry Icy but Mr Icy is being an arse! Tell him I said so and to man up and marry you already

The waiting is the fucker, hey hags? Literally for me at the moment as I'm sat in clinic for an appointment that is running one whole hour behind schedule! I work for the NHS, my appointments NEVER run this late- fucking stupid bastard twatting system (we I swear a LOT here, Elly!)

For ease, I'm blue - 37 (30 fucking SEVEN!) married to mr blue (an oldly like Icy's). 3 years plus TTC. pretty sure I've now had all tests. Male factor issue, awaiting NHS referral but not sure why because I plan to skip off to the Czech Republic in jan for private treatment where I intend to pay for 14 million cycles until it either works or my fanjo falls out

I'm absolutely fucking furious that this appointment is taking so long! How fucking hard is it to run to time in a non emergency service?!!

They're strolling around like my appointment isn't now almost. 2 fucking hours late! Two hours!!!! What the actual fuck?!!

And now I'm being seen by the student doctor who knows less than do!

NHS does wonderful things but there are some appalling lifers working there, not giving a shit. Just one big gravy train. I'd say burn the place to tr ground, but IVF difficult from prison cell, I suppose. Kick the fuck off with spectacular panache after you've got what you came for (what did you go in for?) and get escorted away. Cackle and swear as you go.

Remember to turn the mental off once it's over. Mind, I'm becoming more and more enamoured with the idea of a lobotomy. Having the emotional range of a dog would be a relief.

Oh man, blue I hope they are dealing with you properly now...I was being seen in an NHS unit prior to the one where I had my lap (managed to get that bit done on bupa which I have thru work, but it won't cover anything fertility related) and it seemed they were forever running late and then you'd come out feeling non-the-wiser.

Nice to meet you icy, I totally agree that it's all about who you want to be with not who you can have a kid with, tho I don't have any bright ideas about how you should convince him of this fact...during a previous bawling sesh my OH (in attempt to bring me back to being a rational human being I think) warned me that I couldn't let this break us. It did the trick, the thought of not only not being able to have a baby but also being without him truly scared me for a moment. Tho he really doesn't understand how hard it is from my side at all, he's still my rock. Altho I did manage to trap him into marriage before all this began anyway so it's harder for him to get away

Talking of such events, has anyone read The Girl On The Train?! My MIL (who knows!) left a copy lying around for me to read...I was bawling...felt as if it could have written some of it, so told OH he was under strict instructions not to leave me for his instadiffed (check me out with the lingo!) mistress

Yup girl on the train upset me for the same reason. I also used to drink a lot more than I do now and it helped me to cut back, especially during the week.

I got equally upset by a women's hour piece on IVF, some fucktard man had a load of failed IVF with wife, it failed, in the end their relationship floundered, she fell out with his family etc. he then met a younger woman and instadiffed her TWICE. No one mentioned the poor fucking barren ex wife. I hope she burns his house to the ground. I would. I'd be a total pro about it too, see my GP complaining of mental instability a few times over a year or so, wait for them to go away (during overpriced school holidays - suckers) and arson the shit out of the place. Reduced sentence on the grounds of diminished responsibility.

Looking online (quiet day obviously!) I'd probably get 5 years. Out after 2. Orange is the New Black has taught me all I need to know.

Icy - you are all about the arson today (I'm feeling straight out aggression more today, smashing people in faces with whatever item I am holding)

I am having a shit day (too much to go into) and Mr B is away in a different time zone. I'm counting the hours until he wakes up!

Well they eventually offered me clomid which I'm pretty sure I'm not going to take. They've done all the tests and I have no problems with ovulation etc (again, we are a male factor issue! But no one offers HIM treatment ?) I think I'm just gonna go straight for private ICSi. I am fucked off with the whole thing (I realise they have to but I have been pulled through every test, and hours upon hours of appointments when we have a MALE factor issue!! We know the problem, stop fucking poking at me!

Blue how many tests has Mr B had? The clinic near me do them for like £145, if he's only had one, it might be worth sending him off for a couple more at intervals. I keep reading about men who score 0 on one test and plenty on the other. Am a bit worried about Iceman - his 1 test was fine, but what if.. Then again he has 2 kids already (preventing me getting free IVF grrrr there goes your inheritance, kids). His ex instadiffed. Hurts such a lot.

Ooh we've been busy today hags. Feeling the rage, sorry - handing out gin if it helps?
blue all except one of my NHS appointments ran spectacularly late, which only made me more worked up as I watched the hours ticking past, trying to think of excuses for why I was SO LATE to work...I also don't understand how appointments can run so late, especially first thing in the morning!

icy, two years sounds doable, and at least then since there'd be no chance whatsoever of getting diffed, my mental health would probably actually get better! Just had the realisation I've been ttc for longer than that prison sentence

ely, hope we've not scared you off!

Oh my god, is it bad that I saw really sick humour in my TTC also taking longer than a prison sentence

Mr blue has had plenty of tests over the course of the year, we very definitely have a male factor issue and if I wasn't so old (as the doctor helpfully reminded me that my egg quality is about to go off a cliff) I would pay for him to have private treatment but that takes 6 months to work and I actually don't have 6 months anymore

Well I pissed on that year old stick anyway, because the droid is a few hours late (usually start overnight but it hasn't arrived yet) of course I'm NOT fucking pregnant, why on earth did I allow the smallest of hopes? I see the HSG did nothing to improve my chances. 3 years Hags, I'm tired of this shit now

Hello, not scared off!

Sorry blue, about both NHS fucktardery and bfn. Double shit.

Agree also that 2 years doesnt sound that bad in the grand scheme of things! That poor woman. Hope in reality things have worked out for her.

Had a cry on OH last night, another preg announcement in my office on Monday, she can only have been married 5/6 months max and already showing. The age range in my office means I am constantly surrounded by a steady stream of lucky pregnant people (why can't all they all duck off with their big baby bellies and leave me alooooone), either that or the senior guys (majority men of course) who say things like "I hope you're not going to get yourself pregnant!" during handover meeting before colleagues maternity leave (don't worry, no problem there!) or insensitive young uns who ask straight out when you're going to start popping them out (err....I don't even know you...?!). WHY?!?!

Hags, not sure if anyone is going down the route of donor egg IVF but this article is excellent. www.express.co.uk/news/science/609805/infertile-mums-pass-on-DNA-new-research-Southampton-University-Nick-Macklon

X

Ugh Elly so glad I work in a male dominated job. I hear lots of announcements from the expectant dads but it's very different. Still makes me want to scream; maybe if I were surrounded by actual pregnant women I would literally scream. And get escorted away.

Fab lovely article :-)

Hi fab, great article :)

Ladies, doesn't anyone else lose their mind a little around ov time or is it just me? I think I have POT rather than PMT! I'm hoping I can blame this on some kind of hormonal change rather than just being insane...and not conducive to bd-ing (help me out with best lingo here? I'm sure you prob have a better phrase for it?!) either! Poor OH...

Elly sechsing is often used here but I tend to go basic - the BESH love a swear so anything is game - I tend to just go with shagging

Double shag on Saturday - POW - first thing AM and then again at midnight after I came home from girly (sober - not pregnancy sober, activity followed by diet coke and games in the pub sober) night out. Shame it's not smiley-season (can't believe I'm still buying those crazily expensive sticks. Still flat REFUSE to do a 'subscribe and save' on them on Amazon - too depressing).

I've been trying to post for bloody ages and it won't let me!

Fab! Hello nearly fablet time, no? Come post when fablet is here?

Woah, check you out Icy that is some
Impressive sechsing!

Elly, I am completely shit at the sex now, neither of us can be arsed with it. Remember when sex was just for fun? no me neither

Well done on the shagging Icy! I'm just about to ramp up that side of things in Fab Towers in a bid to beat induction which is booked for next Wednesday. Eek. Wish me luck Hags - this is it!

Good luck fab, hope all goes smoothly for you

Well done on the shagging icy