The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Welcome back Sargent BC Rain

Ah the mindfuck that is denial, hey hey look I'm fine about this, no seriously I'm fine, I am FINE ... Oh shit, I'm not fine so sorry it got you and I'd guessed you were taking a break from it all. I'm still pissed off it didn't work for you this time.

The aibu idea is amazing!! I so want us to do that

A couple more diffed friends here, and lots of sad "are you ok faces" that's almost worse than people not caring!

oh Blue really?! What the hell is wrong with the world. Where is the empathy?! They just don't get it.

I'm such a bitter besh these days, can't get past my own BC to feel any sort of happiness when I hear pregnancy news.

Took a pregnancy test this morning (decided to last night, cue dream where I did and it was negative) so I did and it was negative - quelle surprise - but I had rationale: saw the consultant tonight and he is FUCKIIIIIING expensive. So if I could save £150 for 7 mins facetime, I was going to! Anyway.

Got more clomid off him, upped to 100mg, got some legit metformin (vs stealing MILs stab...) got told basically we've (I've) exhausted all options so should carry on the clomid metformin cocktail and until at least new year and then it's IVF o'clock.

The metformin is a result, mainly as I've been telling work I've got prediabetes, hence leaving early tonight, so the drugz will back up my story.

Dull as shit.

Who's got something fun and non-beshy to say? My main news is I just bought a microscooter to scoot across town along the pavements from station to office and bypass tube. It was SO much fun. So much fun. One probably wouldn't scoot pregnant, and it's impossible to scoot and not feel alive.

Stash not stab

Ouch icy! Expensive 7 minutes :/

Can we start our own AIBU?

AIBU to hate people who get pregnant ONE MONTH after their wedding? (Having known each other for three years total at the time of their wedding?)
(I know I am but i don't care/can't stop it right now)

Coop, BEsH are never unreasonable! I have one friend who took a year to conceive her first (then 1 month for her second) aside from that literally every single person in my life is an instadiffer, as in they literally all got pregnant the first month they tried. I also have one who got pregnant after forgetting to take 1 pill, 2 pregnant on the contraceptive implant and one after her husbands (failed) vascetamony. Not at all unreasonable for me to be massively bitter about it all! Maybe we should change our name ito BBESc (bitter barren evil selfish cunts?)

Sorry for the expense Icy but pleased to hear you have some meds. I love your scooter, although BEsH do seem a little less scary when they scooting!

My life is dull as (i already did the things I wanted to do in life before I had children!)

I think I can feel the droid coming on and ill be furious if it is because I'm not due for another 9 days, my cycle has always been spot on but it's gone mad these last few months. I DO not need a double whammy of male AND female issoos.

Ugh I worked out Kim Sears instadiffed thr month after the wedding. So now I naturally want him to lose every match he ever plays ever again.

I've taken to sending links like this to friends. I can't help myself. I bore them senseless and don't GAF. I have to listen to their boring lives and pretend to care about their meaningless problems, all of which are in their gift to change, they can bloody well listen to me vote on about stats.

infertility.about.com/od/copingwithinfertility/fl/How-Women-With-Infertility-Are-Similar-to-Trauma-Survivors.htm

Bore not vote.

£5k for a 25% IVF success rate and they don't bat an eyelid. "You're lucky you're in a position to afford it".

Fuck having friends. Rage.

Icy - those friends are just fucking rude, I imagine they wouldn't have been happy if someone has presented them with a £5000 bill AFTER having a baby, never mind just for the chance of it.

I'm terrible at keeping up, are you gonna pay private? Come to the Czech Republic with me! £1900 for icsi and the Chance to pretend you just happened to get diffed on a relaxing holiday

Loving "bitter barren evil selfish cunts" blue! Our alter-egos perhaps?
I hope you're wrong about droid coming on.. :/

icy, whoever said that to you is NOT a friend you need in your life right now

I've just got to MrC's work as we are going out straight from work and he has the car, and there is a couple with a shiny new baby in reception. I've got the rage

Trip one of them up coop (not the one carrying the baby though)

BBESc isn't my alter ego, it's my only identity

Dunno if any of you watch Hunted on C4... I was loving it until the FUCKING NEWLYWED INSTADIFFER - ARGH I can't even finish the sentence. Just fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

Blue my doc told me to do clomid & met til the new year and then see. OH has a full on job with lots of foreign travel and high powered meetings so not being able to pinpoint a time for egg retrieval/spiffing may be problematic. I'm scared of IVF too, the weight of expectation and as the doc said "the biggest risk is the disappointment when it doesn't work". I don't even want babies just one. I'm not greedy. Just one.

Coop ugh no wonder you have rage. I've had another Facebook unfollow session, one girl's had twins. Go away.

Oh Icy hugs arm punch to you, I'm completely in denial about lack of success for IVF, it's gonna work and it's gonna work 2x for me and that's all there is to it!

OH job must make it hard, Mr Blue works none stop but we have at least agreed a 2 day trip to Czech to check or Czech! Sorry! the place out in dec

Superb pinning there Blue I approve [applause]

Czech is lovely - are you going to Prague? Beautiful this time of year, far too hot and touristy in the summer. If you're there and want a nice meal, vino di vino is a lovely rezzie. Modern not stuffy good food.

Argh in my man dominated office my male boss just on the phone to his male counterpart who has just announced baby news, so male boss is giving advice out. "Is it number one?" OH FUCK OFF. I'm meeting a fellow barren for a drink at 4 today. Not supposed to drink on metformin but what's the worst that than happen (coma's aren't that bad and frankly preferable to how I'm fucking feeling today!)
Roll on 4 pm.

Punning!

Thanks I've been to another part of Czech before and loved it so that's a plus point.

I'll also be spending the evening drinking with a another barren, it's Mr Blue though, does that still count?

Don't go into a coma, I need you to BBESc along with me

Well I drank about a bottle of wine yesterday and I'm not dead/in a coma, so I guess the warnings on the metformin are overblown. Should've known; MIL is an actual alcoholic (bottle of wine a day, every day) and she's not dead or in a coma either. Mind, she smokes a lot, although has cut down and is only on about 40 a day now. Doesn't inhale. Love her and her rockstar attitude. How to be a widow indeed.

My barren friend cancelled, but we've rearranged for midweek wine. Hurrah for a Thursday hangover.

Major meltdown last night, row with OH, went round all our usual row-points, included me running upstairs to wail on the floor before coming down "composed" and promptly crying more. Look like fucking shit today, a wonderful combination of PCOS teenage acne on haggard, porey, lined skin.

If I can't have a baby my first port of call will be getting my face fixed. Botox, chemical peel to address the stressed/dehydrated skin and then possibly a nose job because fuck it, if I'm barren I'm going to be one of "those" vain, selfish child free women who holidays in the Maldives outside school holidays, has perfect hair and nails, expensive clothes not covered in sick and since I'll only have my career to nurture, I'll end up getting some high powered job and I'll be that unsympathetic bitch who doesn't give a shit your kid has chicken pox, if you don't want this job there're a hundred others who'll do it.

Hurrah for BBESC! Approach at your peril. I'm going to power dress on Monday.

icy I hear ya on the teenage skin - the pill controlled it beautifully for me, so annoying.
I've been thinking more about what life without kids might look like too, but for me I think I'll ditch my high powered job and move to the sticks and get dogs. Lots of dogs. Definitely yes to the nice holidays and sick free clothes tho.

Have any of you read the q&a section on Robert Winston's website? Spent hours trawling that recently - has left me feeling pretty at the nhs just doing some basic tests, telling us we're unexplained and ditching us straight into IVF. We have one nhs go left now, not sure whether I should insist on some more investigations before it, or do this one and then insist before we start paying £££ for private. blue is it really only £1900 in Czech? I'm guessing that's excluding the drugs?

I've had a massively fun morning cleaning the soap dispensing drawer of our washing machine, rock and fucking roll! Also trying not to fucking murder RAF who is resealing the flat roof at the back and has got tar ALL OVER MY FUCKING BATHROOM. He's been banished to find cleaning products that will shift it. Rage.

Rain yup I read the Dr Winston website & bought the book. What tests have you had done? Or, more to the point, haven't you had?

I'm self funding everything - OH already has kids so I qualify for shit, and I couldn't cope with waiting. Having read Dr W I'm happy with my consultant who has done the whole one step at a time thing, and only mentioned IVF at our latest meeting. Told us to consider in the New Year.

I'm upset that I won't logistically be able to use him for IVF as he practices out of Woking and I work in the West End so the amount of time I'd need out makes it impossible with work (on the basis I'm not going to tell them about it as I only started there in June!)

I really don't want to go to a London tube-advertising clinic, just get the feeling they'd see me as waking credit card.

How does abroad IVF work? Do you do the drugz here and then over for the collection & money shot piece? How much time would you need there and could you BYO frozen sperm if you go alone?

I'd be tempted to do some egg sharing to keep the cost down and on the basis I'm in a place where I'm certain I'm unlikely to ever manage to reproduce, I might welcome a knock on the door in 18 years.... Depressing AF.

You know I haven't actually fully figured out the IVF abroad thing, I just know loads of people do it and it's got a higher success rate than my local clinic. The fee is without drugs but included everything else (initial consultations extra) I'm planning on going to reprofit in Brno (which if you near stanstead is a £50 return flight)

We are planing an initial visit in dec, then I'm aiming for starting in jan. Loads of info on fertility friends though and they also reply pretty quick to emails so you email and ask about BYO soaff come join me hags ......

Initial consultation included I meant, not extra

Hmm interesting. Will def look at it but probably stick with UK for 1st attempt to have hand held locally to start with (because I know there will be more than 1 fucking go)

Ranting at a friend about infertility yesterday. "Well, just remember, children are a gift not a given". What even the fuck is that supposed to mean? So... They're a gift that I'm not to have bestowed upon me. Great. Thanks for that. We all know who doesn't get gifts - the naughty, undeserving kids. I guess I'm just one of those, then. Clearly I'm too much of a shit to deserve a child. Must be that, and nothing to do with all the other body crap. FUCK.

Icy - that is a fucking stupid thing for someone to say! I realise some people not Besh! don't get to have children. But it's not a gift, it's luck of the motherfucking draw and I never win at raffles

Can feel droid coming on, 1 day early, just as I was stupidly considering whether I would get to piss on the pregnancy test that's now been sat in my bathroom drawer for over a year, a spare from the one test I've need to take in 3 years fuck this shit Hags. I'm miserable

Your friend sounds a tad on the insensitive side icy... Sorry you're having such a shit time. Gin?

blue, it's not over til it's over... I know I'm a hypocrite hugs hag

Hello! I'm new round here! Am I allowed to join? I did a beshtionaire and everything..

1. Gin - YES! with extra lime!
2. Men - gold digger!
3. Baybee-making - judging by the amount of pregnant I am it may as well be d!
4. Testing: if I had to choose, a), though in reality I am a "hold off until humanly possible in order to avoid disappointment"-er, and given my cycles are so short and it always arrives I haven't actually got as far as pg testing v often :(
5. R2D2 = a?! Apologies if some awful faux pas, I do not know all the lingo / acronyms!
6. pets = 2 cats
7. current weird crush = Tom Hiddleston, but there have been many, sure he won't be the last!
8. Una from Saturday's. She is gorge. (Actually, now I think of this, I only noticed this when she was preg....maybe a theme) 9)d) expensivo piss stick which I'm sure is malfunctioning!!! 10)c) urgh to babydusters 11)a) childless and TTC for 1yr 10months