The BESH are cheating on Luck with Irony, all Hags aboard for the ironiclusterdiff of the decade (for the B's and the none B's!)

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Yep, big hairy bollocks I've given up hope it's ever going to happen at this point, I've been off the pill for three years in December and not even a late period. I think we're fucked.

I'm sorry for the misery all. It's the shittest thing ever. I really do empathise. I found running until I was nearly sick helped with the frustration. . . And then El vino. Drinking did not make the blindest bit of difference to me conception wise but made me feel better! Hang in there.
Thanks for the congrats- I hope my story helps someone. I'm really not returning to gloat just to hand squeeze.

I love a success story so I'm happy you came along no BESh is ever a gloater, we know that

Coop, I'm with you, feel entirely hopeless at present (and also insane, literally erm.. Misdirected some of the spaff this morning and am so angry with myself, like THAT was the magic load that would have got me diffed!)

Sorry blue, but "misdirected" made me actually laugh out loud! Hope you've done better today(!)

It's funny, my head sounds like a porn movie now a days. These films with names like "cum hungry ho's"? They aren't porn films, they're just BESh praying for a diffment

BESH don't gloat, blue is right! congrats bear. Hope the pregnancy goes to plan and you're healthy and happy.

I was reading a post on infertility and a now (naturally) pregnant lady (following a few failed IVFs) sounded stressed and bitter. I can totally get that - if it were (please..) to happen, I don't think I'd want gushing congratulations from the fuckwit-commenting brigade which are some of my friends. Knowing smiles, 'see, I told you it would work out' - that sort of thing would rile me.

Ungrateful fucking bitch that I am! If I ever catch a break, or a sperm, I'll take what I get, and let's face it - I'm British. As if I'd call anyone out. I'd just seeth inwardly and passive-aggressively send friends who annoy me christmas cards from the cheap 25 pack and reserve the nicer cards from the 10 pack from those who have pleased me (please tell me it's not just me...?!)

Still praying to the Virgin Mary at the church on Warwick Street. If anyone works in W1 and fancies a prayer circle, come on down...! Still not a catholic but sitting in church once a week is helping to restore my childhood belief in a big old Santa-guy in the sky. If that sounds offensive, I don't mean it to.

Wine cheese shit telly and a night off the internet for this barren cunt.

You BESh are ace, there is no where else where "catch a sperm" and "barren cunt" would be terms so easily understood by all

Merry Friday from this barren cunt to you all

Oh and Icy - my heritage isn't solely British - I'm just straight up rude to most people, no Xmas cards from me unless I actually adore you

No icy, me too with the Xmas card thing, although I've decided I'm not doing Christmas this year. I had the shittest Christmas in history last year and I can't even bear thinking about it, another non diffed, non parenting year. So we've cancelled it

Ah coop, sorry to hear the year has been so shitty, arm punches hag.

I'm going with blind optimism, my plan to is to pay for private treatment next year so I'm looking forward to this xmas because there is absolutely no chance I'll be 'naturally pregnant' so I'm gonna get shit faced on gin instead. One last time before a baby arrives look at me, I sound like an jnstadiffer!

On returning to the Xmas card theme, I have actually been known to say "thanks for the card, I've not written one for you because I just couldn't be bothered". I like to think I look sweet enough to carry this off but Mr Blue is sometimes just stunned by my rudeness

Talk me down. I'm 3 days from the droid and symptom spotting like a mental. Why would it happen this time. It wouldn't. All the "symptoms" I have are more likely to be ovarian cysts as I've been hammering clomid. I hate this because now I'm hopeful and now I'll have to do LOADS of weeping to get over it, and get even wrinklier. Rubbish.

Hope is an absolute and utter bastard, distraction is what you need, what can you do to try to focus your mind away from the lady nethers arnd their activity?

Christ knows. You'd think being at work would help, but every time I finish a task... So fucking time sapping!

If only it were still socially/professionally acceptable to drink all day... They wouldn't put up with fretting like this on Mad Men.

Have you tried mindfulness? Aiming to be really focussed in the present moment?

Or let's dress up as mad men characters and drink gin all day! I could totally go for that

Had a great afternoon focussing on work, agreed a deal, happy days, walked out of office thinking "yeah I'm gonna boss this quarter" and thoughts of being a high achiever. 3 seconds later straight back down to "maybe....." With a crash. It's stoopid.

blue in keeping with the mad men theme, mines a whiskey sour ;-)

Excellent drink choice icy.

To be honest I think this is just the deal with being a BESh, any small possibility of hope makes us crazy. I'm quite good at entirely ignoring hope now

I really fancied wine when I got home from work but managed to resist temptation hang in there icy

Where are all of our other hags??

I think we are quite some Hags down, we need a Hag recruitment drive

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the hags fucked orf cos they're diffed?! Here's hoping
The only pregnancy announcements I can feel happy about are from hags. Everyone else I just want to eye-roll.

Bloody hell, brain isn't giving me any time off. Got my consultants meeting tomorrow, so woke up this morning dreaming I'd gone along to see him and he diagnosed me pregnant. Was so happy til I woke. Ffs brain. Give it a rest.

No booze last night - boo. Seeing a boy mate for a burger tonight so I'm gonna have a boozy milkshake and talk about man stuff.

On poor icy and her overactive brain!

Yeah I only like diffed Hags too.

I feel like we're lonely but I don't want to have anyone else unfortunate enough to have to join us! I used to have Preggo dreams quite a lot but even my subconscious doesn't think I'm capable anymore

Enjoy your burger and man chat icy

Barren cunt Rain reporting for duty!

So sorry luffly hags, I have been deliberately MN AWOL the last few weeks while I decompressed post IVF failure. It started off easy, weirdly easy like I almost didn't really care and was even a bit glad that we'd be able to go on holiday in November as planned. And then I crashed, and burned, and sobbed, and generally behaved like a totally fucking lunatic. And now I'm back and sort of normal. I think.
Waiting on first droid after the bfn droid, had a weird bit of brown today (serves me right for wearing my best white knickers without any protection) but going by old cycles I'd hoped it wouldn't show till this weekend.

icy what's the plan for tomorrow?

coop we're considering banning Christmas too. Last year we did it solo and while it was quite nice to just chill, eat what we wanted and do what we felt like, it seriously just felt like the worlds worst runner up prize to the rest of my family merrily skyping us their oh so perfect family days.

blue how do we initiate a recruitment drive? This place must be a treasure trove of BESH types, vipers and all that. Maybe we should start an AIBU. 'AIBU to think a load of you must be miserable barren cunts like us?'

Oh rain, sorry to hear you've been having such a shit time, cockles of comfort and a sneaky hug.

Is it a case of waiting til the new fecking year now? Where are you off to on holiday?

Welcome back Sargent BC Rain

Ah the mindfuck that is denial, hey hey look I'm fine about this, no seriously I'm fine, I am FINE ... Oh shit, I'm not fine so sorry it got you and I'd guessed you were taking a break from it all. I'm still pissed off it didn't work for you this time.

The aibu idea is amazing!! I so want us to do that

A couple more diffed friends here, and lots of sad "are you ok faces" that's almost worse than people not caring!