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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Bumsnetters with Angry Pubes

999 replies

juneybean · 03/05/2015 18:01

The Rules of Bumsnet

  1. Don't talk about Bumsnet
  2. Get the sperm in the hole
  3. Don't LPB. It's frowned upon.

###STATS###

Wink Grin Brew Flowers Cake

OP posts:
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17
lucieloos · 04/05/2015 18:37

Hey everyone, thanks for asking about me. No surprises bfp's here unfortunately and today I have some light pink spotting so I'm not sure I will go for the blood test tomorrow. I may as well save my money. Not looking forward to returning to work.

We have been thinking about when we will try again and my parents have kindly said they will lend us some money if we need it. There are basically 4 options but none of them are perfect!

Option 1 - start again soon on my next AF which would be beginning of June (I would have to check its ok to start this early) Sooner than I imagined but may be better than the other options.

Option 2 - Start beginning of July but DH is going away for 9 nights in July and would be away for the 2nd half of my 2ww and when the results come in which would be very hard if negative again.

Option 3 - Start later in July but DH would be away when I start injections, for scans and we might possibly miss each other and I would have left for Czech (with my mum) before he returns. He would be there for 2ww though.

Option4 - Wait until August but we feel like that is too long.

Which would you do??

loopylou1984 · 04/05/2015 18:47

Lucie, I would go for option 1 if that's ok, or option 3 if not.
Option 2 would just be too hard for me, I'd need dh there for the results part. Option 3 = yes he misses some appointments and the medical bits, but emotionally I think it's more important he's there for the wait and results. Xx

Nomio230 · 04/05/2015 18:51

I would go for June, but I am the most impatient person ever! It depends if you feel physically and emotionally ready or not I guess. Whatever you choose, we will be here to hold your hand.

Chops, I love Prague too. We last went about 5 or 6 years ago.

I think Will & Kate have chosen a good name. They have pleased the traditionalists and still honoured his mum.

loopylou1984 · 04/05/2015 18:53

My parents are amazing. I saw them today and ended up crying after telling them about dsil. I went out with my sister and by the time we got back they had spoken to my grandparents and between them they've told us to go privately if we want to. For the HyCoSy and any iui/IVF if needed.
We are going to try to arrange the private HyCoSy for early next week (or next cycle if they can't fit us in), then, if the results are clear, have a couple more months of ttc, then try to get the ball rolling for nhs treatment but if not we might just go totally private. I don't want to waste the nhs try as it's an extra chance that way, but I also can't wait around much longer. Xx

DizzyMerry · 04/05/2015 18:55

Lucie you are parents are very kind indeed. I would go for option 1 as there is no point in delaying this no point in delaying this until August. I get the impression that you want DH to be with you throughout and rightly so. My opinion is if you can manage to go for option 1, you should.

spinningirl10 · 04/05/2015 18:56

Lucie, sorry to hear about the spottingHmm
Regarding the options, I think I would go as soon as I could, so option 1 if the clinic say yes. How kind of your parents to lend you the money.

DizzyMerry · 04/05/2015 18:56

*you're not you are

DizzyMerry · 04/05/2015 18:58

Last try *your. My spelling has been appalling today!

spinningirl10 · 04/05/2015 19:00

Thank you purple Smile

Sammy, Ahh how very kind of your parents and grandparents to offer to pay for your ivf and test. Fantastic news for you. Would you go abroad if you pay for the ivf?

Nomio230 · 04/05/2015 19:00

Wow Sammy, that is brilliant news! I would just go private if I were you. In my experience the NHS take forever & make you jump through lots of unnecessary hoops.

DizzyMerry · 04/05/2015 19:10

How lovely of your family sammy. It is an extra try on the NHS but like nomio says things take forever and you'll be waiting a good few months between appointments for various tests. Think about your options carefully.

loopylou1984 · 04/05/2015 19:12

I'm not sure if we'd go abroad or not. The whole thing scares me, so I haven't really considered the details.

I'm just worried that say my family can afford 2 rounds and we skip the nhs but both fail. We'll have no more tries and I'll always wonder if a third (the missed nhs) round would have been the one. Xx

Nomio230 · 04/05/2015 19:18

Would the NHS actually know that you had gone private, or could you maybe get a round with them too? I don't know if the private clinic would have to tell them or not, but am pretty sure they wouldn't find out if you went abroad.

chopsface · 04/05/2015 19:20

Oh Lucie I'm sorry to hear about the spotting and bfn. I'm not sure if its better to wait a few cycles to try again, get the drugs out of your system. But if its better for you, and you are allowed, then go for it.

Sammy great that your family are going to help out with private treatment if you need it. Personally I would take your NHS try though. Or see if the NHS will allow you your try after a private cycle, if it failed of course. I know you are impatient and fed up of waiting but I believe you still have time on your side age wise and autumn will be here before you know it x

nightandthelight · 04/05/2015 19:21

Gosh some tough decisions on here tonight! I don't feel remotely qualified to advise you Lucie or Sammy but am thinking of you muchly. Both your parents sound so lovely and it's great that you have their full support like this.

chopsface · 04/05/2015 19:24

I presume if you went private here or abroad your doctors will need to pass on your notes and test results, so no hiding it Wink

lucieloos · 04/05/2015 19:29

Sammy come abroad with me! It is honestly so easy, the clinic is amazing and really professional and you can have a little mini holiday as well to take your mind off things! If it had worked this time around it would really have completed an absolutely fantastic journey. It saves so much money as well. We are only paying £1450 for icsi! It's is around £5k in the UK.

My heart says I want to go in June as even though DH probably won't be able to come out with me this time as he cant take more time off work he would be around for all the medication and scans and things before I went and then my mum would come out with me for 6 nights and then DH would be here when I got home. It also makes me excited that we could have another go so soon. I have emailed my dr so will see what she says and whether it would be ok to try then. Eeekkk I actually feel a little bit excited again now and as though I have something to look forward to. It is such a rollercoaster though I can't imagine how it's going to feel if it doesn't work again Hmm

lucieloos · 04/05/2015 19:30

Oh and if you go abroad they don't pass on any details to the UK. There is no contact with UK doctors at all so you could still keep your nhs tries as well!

Woolly84 · 04/05/2015 19:30

lucie and sammy your parents sound lovely and incredibly supportive Smile

lucie if you feel ready I'd go for option 1, else option 3. I don't think I could handle getting the results without DH there. Great that you have all these options though lovely Flowers

sammy sounds like private would be quicker but I see your point about the nhs round, I guess it depends on how much time it would take for the overall process and would you be okay with the waiting in between appointments etc?
Either way, you have a way forward, maybe just focus on the HyCoSy for now, fx that will do the trick and you won't need to contemplate the rest after all Smile Flowers

ThePug · 04/05/2015 19:48

lucie I'm so glad to hear you have excellent support around you and that you are making plans. I have no idea which option I would go for, but if you are ready to try again and there is no medical reason not to, I don't think you would regret going for June (whereas you may start regretting not having done so, if you see what I mean).

sammy Your parents sound so so lovely. I'm glad you have options. I'm not sure how quickly things move once you start going down the private route but it couldn't hurt to start doing your research now whilst you're waiting for the Hycosy/results.

woolly How are you today? I feel like I've been blanking lots of people recently (unintentionally!!) and not asking after you all.

spinning Is your DS going away with you for the month? How will it work with school if you're there half the year? Sounds fab anyway - jealous of all the sun you'll be seeing!

nomio & sparkly - thank you for your wise words last night. I'm feeling more positive today. Got to go into work properly tomorrow for the first time (as in not just working at home) so not sure how that will go, but I'm going to try and not resent making work plans when personal plans are 'on hold'.

To please Amazon, I'm am sharing with you all the following update "I just bought: 'Clinical Guard 40 Ovulation tests and 20 Pregnancy tests Combo'" Grin. The small amount of spotting I had seems to have now stopped so CM-watch starts again tomorrow, and hopefully these will arrive so I can test for BFN next Monday but not sooner.

Beansprout30 · 04/05/2015 20:16

sammy your parents sound fab, how kind of them to help you out, I think if I had age on my side id be tempted to wait for nhs first but can't blame you for wanting to get started sooner privately

Beansprout30 · 04/05/2015 20:20

lucie sorry it didn't work for you this time but it's great you are not dwelling on it and looking forward to the next go

night any signs of a bfp today? !

nightandthelight · 04/05/2015 20:25

Not testing till Saturday bean :) tbh am expecting temp drop tomorrow morning. Will keep you all updated!

Nomio230 · 04/05/2015 20:32

Lucie, I am so pleased you are feeling a bit more hopeful about things. Have you spoken to DH about which option to choose? What does he want to do?

I didn't realise Night was due today. Exciting!

Pug, I am pleased you are having a better day. It always makes me laugh when Amazon asks if you want to share the fact that you just bought PG tests, or Pre-seed with the world!

We have had a nice day out with DH's family today. We went to one of our favourite NT places & the sun even came out. Smile

lucieloos · 04/05/2015 20:37

Thanks woolly, beansprout, pug and nomio! I think DH agrees, he doesn't want to wait until August and he thinks I would go crazy here on my own in the 2ww which is true! So I think his preferred choices are option1 and then option 3 as well.