Bumsnetters with Angry Pubes

[juneybean]

The Rules of Bumsnet

1. Don't talk about Bumsnet
2. Get the sperm in the hole
3. Don't LPB. It's frowned upon.

###STATS###

Dizzy, don't let DH's enthusiasm wane if you're not successful this month. Zeta West reckons that's why tons of couples take yonks to get preggo - they start to feel that plenty of sex is just not working/worth it and so the lessening of conception chances begins.

I wish more newbies would join. Shall we write a more saccharine OP next thread?

I've been in the yarden all arvo with a soil-eating tot. My mum is horrified when I let Nancy garden with me, but the way I see it is she is far more likely to die from my cooking than she is from eating compost. Innit.

Ooo, and guess what my mum came out with today as she sat gazing adoringly/sadly at the tot playing alone with a stick: "Oh, Kerreh...I were thinkin' today 'ow much I wish I 'ad the cash to send you o'er to Prague to gerrower Nancy a siblin' (sniff)"

Blimey, Sunny, what an extraordinary surprise. God for you being so resolute and throwing yourself under the wheels off the bus. We'll miss you, take care lovely

Pikz, imbecilic FF putting your ov at CD11. Grr. Wonder when you'll ov now..keep posting your chart, please Also, Pikz, do you ever get ovulation pain indicating whether you'll be releasing an egg from the healthy-tube side?

Lucie, thinking of you today

Oh Purds!! Hearing that must bring up so many emotions for you.

Blimey exactly. A bit of mud pie eating never did me any harm!! ??

Striker - aw sorry to see you go! But lovely to hear you have made a decision right for you. X

Glittery, I largely felt like this at my mum's wistfulness: The amount of chunky Kitkats she buys us I swear we could have had twins by now. Swaddled in Burberry.

GaryGlittery, I asked you about your inlaws in a recent post. Can you answer please?

Been watching The Enfield Haunting this weekend. What a thrilling bit of telly! Pity the lead actor is Timothy Spall. I actually feel quite ill looking at his face. I swear he is so ugly that when he was born the midwife slapped his mum.

I'll shut up now

Purdie, a bit of dirt is good for kids. A lot of experts think that the reason for the increase in allergies these days is that children are not exposed to enough germs.

We all grew up eating mud & it never hurt us!

Striker, it is good that you realised that in time!

Can I ask your advice, Dr Purds,

I am thinking of halving my progesterone. At the minute I am on 200mg twice a day, but I am having really bad side effects. My stomach is so swollen I can't wear jeans & I feel constantly queasy & have stomach pains.

I am thinking that since anything over 30 is considered good & my progesterone was 111 the other day, it should still be high even if I cut down.

Plus they will last longer & since they cost about £25 a month, that would be good!

What do you think?

I agree. 200mg once a day should do it.

I think I will start tonight. Hopefully I will start to feel less bloaty soon. They seem to be working though. I have added a day to my LP so far & no sign of AF yet.

Oh sorry Purds I missed it completely.

the inlaws. You ready?

When I first met DH they were ok. I found them uncomfortably close. I am close to my siblings but as I was the last to leave home/get married, seeing my siblings move out and become mothers just filled our family with joy for them!
SIL&MIL were very much involved in DH's life. Even telling him how to dress. He is so passive. So laid back (I hate that term) and pretty much did as they said for an easy life. Didn't think for himself. Didn't need to. He had MIL and SIL to depend on.
Along came me. First girlfriend. They welcomed me. I mistook their kindness for control. I wanted them to be involved with our wedding. MIL demanded her friends be at my hen do. I said no. MIL sulked when I said no to having another wedding abroad. MIL wanted us to hand her any wedding present money to her as payment for
organising the wedding. The abroad wedding didn't happen. I put my foot down. Said no.
SIL came to my bridesmaid night in (movies, drink, takeaway) and burst into tears and told me she resented me for taking her brother away from her. Next day was Mother's Day and I told MIL what happened. SIL told MIL she was verbally attacked by my friend and sisters. They stuck up for me when she was spitting abuse.
MIL ruined my hen night. Grabbed my sister. Made her cry. There I was. Dressed as Miss Piggy in the town centre feeling a fool. (I would cry if I didn't laugh) MiL caused an argument at DH's friends wedding. Because of the wedding abroad I said no to as our family and friends are here. She was screaming in my face, drunk as hell, saw FIL & DH coming back to the bar and burst into crocodile tears and fled.
She then called me and my family scum. A comment I cannot forget or forgive. She contributed to our wedding as did everyone else but maintains to this day that she paid for it.
Wanted him to go round and put her xmas tree up (FIL and his siblings were busy)

Basically they hate hearing no. I'm not sure if they thought we were that serious....I have no problem in telling them no. DH has a massive problem telling them no. I for some reason fight harder when someone tells me no. I push back against them especially when I still have all this pent up frustration at them and him for not nipping it in the bud when they first started.

On holiday it took us nearly half hour to justify going to the beach by ourselves to have some time alone. When we finally got to the beach I told DH I can't keep feeling how I do. Asking the in law panel for acceptance.

I have slowed down in ttc. I was relieved when AF came.

And in all honestly I wish my DH would grow some balls and put us first & tell them no instead of me looking like the bitch for standing up to them.

The flip side. I love him! He hasn't done anything wrong but he also ain't done what he needs to. Which is stand up for us. I keep imagining our future family being second best and them fighting for his attention.

On holiday he stuck to me like glue. Never left my side. Which pissed them off even more. I dunno. They are masters of emotional abuse. He acts out of FOG.

and the texts to me pretending to be for DH talking about me.

It's all very very draining!

Bloody hell glittery... What a total and utter nightmare!

Does DH see it all when its happening? Does he ever tell them to pack it in?

Sorry, I'm no help whatsoever, but my general motto in life is this (and they need to hear it!)

Morning

Oh Glittery, how bloody awful for you. I agree, your Dh needs to man up and take control or things will never change I hope that didn't ruin your holiday and that you managed to enjoy yourselves in Rome before you went to them.

Ibeka, fx Dh is home early this morning!

Pixa, how's the palette furniture coming along?

Juney, how's the blossoming romance?

Sparkly, where are you? Hope you're ok.

Still no af?!! It's never this late but I seriously have no symptoms. I haven't been temping the past week so no clue there.

Hi ladies, just a quick one to say sorry for not posting much recently. I'm in the TWW and find it goes by quicker if I try not to think about it too much. Not hopeful for a BFP yet. DH and I are both so tired at the moment so not having enough sex!

Gosh glittery that is pretty horrendous!

Thanks for all your lovely comments yesterday ladies. Amazingly visit is going really well, my career hasn't been mentioned once! I think they are really trying to fix things :)

In TTC news AF has buggered off so we are back in action (once my parents have left)

Night, pleased the visit is going well.

I may have a symptom! My lower legs and arms are really itchy! I'm not sunburnt so it's not that. They've been like it for a few days, and I assumed it was the heat although it's not something I've suffered with before in the sun.

Bloody hell glitters I thought my mil was bad at times (she is) but wow I'm actually gob smacked at how bad yours is. I completely get the draining bit, having a SIL from hell too must be double draining!! I'm so shocked that is just beyond bad.

I've relented and we have been DTD, I'm not sure of this month with MrF working away and Ov date middle of week (what a bummer!!)

Did some family visiting yesterday, went to Mrfs grandparents. I'd drank three coffees and used the toilet twice and after second time MrFs nanna pulled me to one side and said are you preggers and poked my fat belly!!!!! Waaaaaaa

Ooooh spins I love a bit of symptom spotting!! When are you going to POAS or are you waiting? Hope the holiday is going well

Thank you all for the lovely welcome back. We had an incident in my week off where I held an 8 week old baby, and then I got the news that my awful cousin is accidentally pregnant with her forth. The next day was a test day and when I got a bfn I just could not stop sobbing. DH decided it was time to take action, I made a post about this under q name change, but DH has has operations on his testicles; they were undescended. He had one operation as a tot, and another in primary school. At this point, it's also worth saying that we agreed to start TTCing (after months of Discussing it) in Jan 2014 but DH then proposed because he wanted to be married first so that took 9 months off of our TTCing time. Whenever I am upset about TTCing DH blames himself so I am now trying to hide it, but it's not working well. I love this man, truly I do, and I hate seeing him take fault and blame himself. We have appointments booked for this coming week. They say see your GP after 12 months, or after 6 months if you have concerns and have had surgery on your reproductive organs so hopefully we can get DHs mind put to rest.

Sorry for the me me me post. I just wanted to explain my absence and what will be going on. DHs surgery remained completely unspoken about in our house, it was the elephant in the room for him I think, until last week.

Boris - I hope you have a great trip.

Rainy - Fingers crossed for time off for your day 3 and day 21.

Night - Pleased to hear the visit is going well. It sounds like your parents have realised how truly brilliant you are. Now, get shagging...

Purdie - Yay - the tot slept through. Such a sweet thing of your mum to say, it's just a shame people don't realise the impact of their words.

To all of the ladies asking about the point of sex in low fertility? Do not give up hope. Apparently, TTC is a lottery anyway. We will all get there.

DizzyNorth I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Glittery your in-laws sound so draining! Oh my days, I don't know how you cope. DH definitely needs to take a bit more control.

I am sorry if I don't keep up on this new bus, I will kind of be dipping in and out so I can focus on my home stuff too. DH was gutted when I told him I was taking a break from mumsnet "I don't think you should do that, you always talk about how supportive they are and I don't always know the right things to say or the science behind trying to conceive."

Spinning Furniture is fab thanks, couldn't be happier with it so far. Have you tested? Have you taken any different supplements this month, or done anything differently?

Sorry for those I have missed!

Aw, Night, I'm glad you're being treated as a growed-up

Glittery, your inlaws sound typical of the letters I read in Bel Mooney's column on a Saturday in the Daily Shout. The answer is always the same: write a letter saying how much you want peace, 'especially for my husband's sake'; 'you are very much respected but...' Bel reckons when kids come along it will be a fiery furnace of resentment and piggy-in-the-middle as MIL bullies DH into giving her more grandmotherly prominence. Bel would also say your DH has a responsibility to speak to his mother and tell her to show you the utmost respect, regardless of her misgivings about you and your family.

On the positive side they live in Italy and you live in England. How good is that? If she doesn't start giving you the respect you deserve there's no way you're dragging a nipper onto an aeroplane, innit?

Ooo, I have a flashing smiley. Someone remind me what that means? Does it mean 'high' fertility? As we are AI-ing eod (and did it last night) we won't be spunking again until tomorrow, so what do I do about this flasher?

Frog, sorry for the insensitive Nanna

Pixa, sorry to hear you've been so upset and baby bombed. Going to the docs sounds like a good idea. At least you can get can get an SA done and find out what you're dealing with. Knowledge is power
You'll have to post a pic of furniture on FB

No I've not changed a thing! Af was due Thursday. Will maybe buy a test tomorrow if no af.