Positive Decembr - All aboard for Santa to bring a BFP!!

[MrsMcJnr]

Well, I thouht I'd better start this thread as I am CD1 of my 6th cycle of trying for our very precious first baby. This is going to be a lucky and positive thread, I can feel it so I'm laying down the babydust now so that as you join me, you can collect your dose .

For those who join me, what are you doing differently this cycle?

Not too hot a bath now Impatience! Cheers! (I'm having a nice chilled glass of white ) I know what you mean about the panic that sets in when you think you know your body and think you know when you will OV but if it is quite late in the cycle like me, you start to think, what if I miss the boat? I really do know how you feel. Sure you'll be fine.

1n2s, I sometimes get OV pain for a few days too. I personally think that my body tries to OV earlier in the cycle but something isn't quite right so I am left hanging for a few days until the hormones or something catch up.

Hello DD1, sorry it did not happen for you last cycle, all crossed for this one. Don't be a stranger Hon

Impatience - thanks for the tip, I never thought of that. Maybe hauling DH up the stairs after work tonight was a bit too late for BD'ing (but always fun)

Is anyone else feeling knackered with all the routine of BD'ing? Both DH and I are struggling with the whole lack of spontanaety (oops - can't spell!!) this month. We have managed to BD on most alternate days so far this last week, but just couldn't summon up the energy on CD14. We both climbed in bed, looked at each other, shook our heads, laughed and snuggled up in PJ's instead. Just too damn tired. Is it coz we're mid/late 30's and getting old or perhaps the novelty of TTC is becoming emotionally (and physically) draining after 7 months of trying. Is anyone else feeling this too or is it just us?

p.s - have you all been watching Celebrity get me out of here.... did anyone see Toby Aniston's huuuuge erection whilst in the shower with Faith Brown. Holy Moly.........

Think you're right MrsMcJr. I usually get 2 solid days of ovulation pains around CD10-12 and then thats it, whereas this time I got pains for a couple of hours on CD11 and then the same again 5 days later on CD16

Maybe I'm doing it all wrong and I'm ovulating far later around CD16, not realising and therefore not making the most of DH (usually coz we're knackered by then)

Yup, I'm knackered from the worrying about not BDing . DH and I had a huge row earlier. Huge. He said he cannot perform with a gun to his head so I asked how he'd like a time bomb in his body instead - no answer to that! Made up now but doubt they'll be any BDing AGAIN tonight. I hate the planned element too but quite frankly, without it, it would not happen. We are tired and weary of the process, really sad when making babies should be exciting but maybe it is more urgent than fun in your mid 30s? Anyway, you are not alone!

Know what you mean every month i think, now lets relax about it as long as we manage a few sessions around ov we will be fine, but then i look at my chart and see how little effort we have put in and see why i have not got a BFP. So lots of effort this month but not just to make a baby but to enjoy the closeness.

I get ov pain for nearly a week but then i am on clomid but tbh it is only really bad the day of ovulation.

Holy Moly i saw that tooo. Oh was in the bathroom and missed it i was laughing my head off.

x

MrsMcJnr:

It is about urgency in the mid to late thirtees, I am 38 and have been ttc for 5 months. My dh doesn't like to be pushed either and it is nerve racking sometimes ( he is 39 no kids ever). I tend to get really nervous around ovulation, I hate it, at my age I cherish every opportunity that we have. He likes the sponteneity (sp)but you can't do that and ttc. The other times in the month can be for that but not around OV. He is a physician as well so when he is on call or worked LOOOOOOONG days at the hospital it's hard to get him motivated, I'm laying in bed thinking "please paiger don't go off, not tonight, I'm in peak time"!!!!!!! He seems to be relaxed like "oh well, people get pregnant in their 40's too, I put it in his terms that he could understand, I said, "you know that new mercedes your saving for? Well save that for IUI or IVF because that's what we will probably need it for if we wait too long." He got real quiet after that. Oh and for anyone else, around OV time I get cramps around day 9-11 (I ov on 11) my GP recently said that if you are cramping around ovulation it usually means your producing a good healthy egg and that is the egg being pushed out. I also feel pressure down there as well like my uterus is also popping out shock Let's all hope Santa brings us a BFP!!!

Dp is always more interested when I am uninterested... Only CD5 today but thought of MMJ cleaning the pipes out only feigned disinterest... . Poor Dp he had no idea.

Oh ladies - I'm soooo glad to hear you are feeling the same as me. I thought I may be alone in the exhausting Bd'ing routines.

Wishing1 - my DH is also 39 (I'm 34) and we have only met in the last 3 years and therefore the whole meeting each other thing is very precious to us both, as I'm sure it is to everyone else. To be honest when I hit 31 I started to wonder if I was never going to be lucky enough to find a good bloke to settle down with, never mind have kids with and we always remind each other of that when we get sad after my AF arrives DH is broodier than me, so never complains about BD'ing and is always willing . Oh I can remember the days & nights of doing shifts in the hospitals - it will no doubt play havoc with his temperment as it did me.

Do you all find you through different emotions each cycle also. I find I'm full of determination and positivity on CD2 (after I've got my head round the fact AF has arrived ) then full of enthusiasm during ovulation and then the 2ww arrives and I'm a bundle of negativity and turn into a hyperchondriac dianosing myself with all sorts of conditions . Its the same old cycle of emotions .......

1ns2s:

WOW, I thought I was the only one with the psycho attitude change, ok after af I am enthusiastic, optimistic, excited and hopeful for those almost 2 next weeks, then when my face starts breaking out and I start getting those pms headaches and I know af is coming I go into complete denial and start testing way too early, THEN when if arrives I am completely depressed around the clock the whole time and the cycle continues, month after month I also work in a hospital and have weird hours which will soon be changing which will help so we both are tugged at difficult and stressful jobs but we make it a point to leave the stress as much as we can at work and be positive and happy at home, no patient talk at home. You don't know how fortunate you are that your dh will bd anytime, you are extremely lucky in that area. Mine doesn't do well on demand, he will...but it seems almost like a chore if he's not the one initiating it I'm so tired of the mood swings I am going through and worrying about his call and hours and such during that one week when I am in my peak, I will look VERY much forward to not having to worry about that if I ever get my BFP!

Thank goodness for Mumsnet! I think it really helps us all to get these feelings out. I feel just like you both do Wishing1 and 1n2s, all of it, from the range of emotions to the frustrations.

It's mad - I'm CD11, in 6 cycles, I have never OV before CD16 and sometimes it's CD19 but the panic sets in about now that we'll miss the boat and so I get DH all wound up too - I'm my own worst enemy but why can't he accept his responsibility for making it happen too? Just not fair.

Wishing1 - your DH sounds a lot like mine, what will be will be etc gggrrr . Needless to say, no BD last night even though we'd kissed and made up - god he's a stubborn mule!

How is everyone else today? feeling positive and happy about our secret santa pressies ?

Yes, it's very reassuring to hear about everyone else's mental instability over the month It must be very exhausting for dp: one minute I'm saying it's all fine and doesn't matter, what will be will be etc, the next I'm in the depths of despair about how rubbish I am at everything, don't even have a body that works, and nothing I ever hope for will ever come to everything I think it's very unfair that a big thing that's making us stressed is also a thing throws us up and down with hormones too!

I have managed to calm down about timing. I just have a little bit of EWCM, and I usually start to get a lot more as ov approaches. (Trying to avoid the panic that this month I'll hardly have any and this is it so better get in there quick!) I expect I will ov over the weekend, so Fri and Mon should be a good bet. And we can't do other days anyway so shouldn't bother stressing

Goodness, don't I sound calm and positive? Well, I have something else to worry about now !

My temps have been really weird the last few weeks. Last month my post-ov temps didn't go up as high as they usually do, and this month pre-ov they haven't gone down as far as they usually do. What does this mean?!! Anyone else had this?

I would take the less fluctuating temps as a good sign Impatience, in a few of the numerous books I have read, it suggests that your hormones are balancing themselves out if the variation reduces.

Oh, I'd never heard that, MrsMc. That sounds good. Thanks for the reassurance.

Sorry to hear about your arguments with MrMc. I'm pleased you smoothed things over. Good luck for tonight

Sorry, me again, MrsMc: What else does it say in your books about strongly fluctuating temps? I haven't come across anything like this (and believe me, I have read.. ).

My pre-ov temp are usually around 36.4, with max post-ov temps around 37.0: Is this much more varied than other people? Last month's max was 36.9, with min pre-ov now 36.6. This hardly seems any variation at all. What are other peoples ranges?

I know what you all mean about the lack of spontaneity. Last night I really could not be arsed to bd - fed up of it, even though I really needed to for ttc. Will give it one more go tonight then that will probably be it for ttc purposes this month (CD16). It's terrible feeling you HAVE to do it.

I never wanted kids in my early 30s so not at the ripe old age of 39 I am feeling the pressure .

Who is first to test on this thread - probably me. Anyone else CD16 or later?

im coming to join! ( if thats o.k) i have been on a few of the ttc threads but need to start being positive!
I had a Missed Misscarrage in August which knocked me for six as i never thought anything like that could happen to me but i am ready to get back on with it! today is CD 1 for me , no real plan just to have fun and enjoy christmas!!!

Hi All

I have been reading your posts and totally understand your feelings. I'm an old timer on the ttc front - 30 months so far, I'm 37, DH 40.
I had been getting myself into a right tizzy, to the point where I have been avoiding mates with babies (I was OK with toddlers and older... but new borns twisted my insides into emotional knots). I recognise I was spiraling down into depression; not good for me, for my dh, for my relationship or for ttc.

However...this is no way to live (or love) so I've been working on this, and I'm really getting somewhere. For a while I contemplated having to come to terms with never becoming a mum... but that thought just leaves me hollow, and it is not what I believe.
I truly believe I will become a mum, it is just a matter of time. I'm not thinking whether it will happen this month and beating myself up if I'm not, instead I am aware it will happen - who knows when.

On the practical side I encourage you all to make sure you get a referral for fertility tests (you and your partners) - in this way you can be sure there is nothing physically wrong (this is what I have just been told following my lap & dye) (and if there is you can get treatments to help).

I am temp checking as I think it is a good way to keep an eye on whether you're ovulating or not ... though I'm thinking of simply doing the 7 days around ovulation (pre & post) - I'm also about to get acupuncture on the NHS (yes, really!).

I wish you all positive vibes ... but not just on the pee stick... also in you hearts and minds.

with love
S x

What a lovely post sunshinedays, i really hope you get there. I burst into tears this morning when told someone was expecting a work (think it is getting to me more now)

Pinkranger, nice to see you here in the nicest way. I think all our plans for this month are relaxing and looking forward to Christmas to try and think about something else.

Sideways - so you will be testing on 1st Dec?

Think me and Mrs McJnr will be testing on 6th Dec.

< GeekInPigTails tries to keep quiet and not let her under-30 status out of the bag, because even 20-somethings need the odd bit of babydust too... >

Sorry to hear about your missed miscarriage, Pinkranger, that must have been horrible. I have found being on this thread an amazing support, and it's only been a few days! (god forbid anyone should ever shut this site down) I think it's because, apart from the odd friend or friend-of-a-friend that I've heard about ttc for ages, the only exposure I have to people ttc are those who are announcing their pregnancies. That gives a very distorted picture of what's 'normal'.

Loving the warm vibes, sunshinedays. We are attempting to be the month of calm, but I've cracked already! Enjoy the accupuncture. I had a few months but had to stop because it was very expensive (so well done on getting it on NHS!) but actually enjoyed being literally pinned down. Had an immediate effect on my cycle: next af was much stronger and I felt a lot calmer. May it be your magic key

Geek: Have you a hoodie over your pigtails, you little yoof? ;)

Impatients - can i be nosey and ask a few questions ? Is the sperm doner the same as you LO already? Also does he have any part in the childs life? And legally where does it all stand? Sorry but i am just really curious. Don't answer if you feel i am being too personal.

x

Sunshinedays... Maybe it's cos I am full of cold, and puffed up and snotty, but I just cried proper blub tears over your post. I feel incredibly guilty when I read some of the stories on here. I am 27 and only been ttc for a short time and have allowed myself to despair because I didn't fall in the first month. Shame on me.There are people out there who keep smiling even though they have been trying for a long time, and/or are much older than me. This is what I want to do (easier said than done) be positive and upbeat that it will happen, one day.

I love coming on MN because everyone is so supportive of each other, and so happy when the BFPs arrive for others. But it breaks my heart to hear of those who are ttc and hurting so much because of it.

Natty I also cried when I read you burst into tears at work, I just wanted to hug you. Hang in there! It will happen for you.

So, I think that I have waffled on long enough and probably not made any sense at all. Basically, I am thinking of each and every one of you, and my fingers are crossed.

x

Impatience - I think it was in a book called "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis. She describes what a perfect cycle should be like (I can tell you, I am way off! ). I'll check it out again and come back to you tomorrow.

My temps range are: Post AF/pre OV: 35.5 - 36.1 & post Ov: 36.2 - 36.8. I worry sometimes that my pre OVs are so low but I don't think it is an issue because they do climb quite high after OV.

Hello Sideways.

Welcome PinkRanger & Sunshinedays - I've seen you both on the threads before so it is lovely to have you join us and I look forward to getting to know you.

Have to dash for my train now...... speak to you all tomorrow!!

Hi MrsMc. Thanks for sharing your temps. Anyone else, so we can all obsess about something other than timing? I'd be very interested to hear what a 'perfect cycle' is. Although I'm sure we'd all start wibbling at how wrong we all are!

Poor Ready4: Get thee to duvet and hot chocolate!

Natty, have you been thinking about our situation all this time? I don't mind. Yes, we're using the same donor. We're very lucky that he is happy to do that, and it's just great that (if I do ever conceive) that sprog and ds will have a genetic link.

Our donor is a complete saint. In my last 'not pg, expect me end of next week' text (not the romance I dreamed of in my young days.. ) I acknowledged that this was going on a while. He just said it's not a problem, it's an open-ended offer, and it'll just take as long as it takes. What a wonderful wonderful man! We just can't think of any way to repay him (& his dw) for doing this amazing thing for us. We are very lucky.

That is amazing what a nice man (and wife for being so understanding)

Ready - thanks, hope you feel better soon . x