We might be over 40 but we are young at heart, taking our supplements, shagging on time and waiting for the precious BFP!Over 40's TTC, join us here...

[Gumblossom]

Starting the new thread, Cloudjumper.

Anyone over 40, trying to conceive, whether it is your first or 6th (or more), we're facing the obstacles together.

I've been at it for 6 years now, but there are plenty of good news stories from these threads over the years.

Come and join us with your worries, woes,successes and milestones, we are here to support one another in our quest.

Gum, I hope it will get easier soon! it is hard to go through while you can still say "maybe next time", but without that consolation the first months must feel hell. Frankly I feel that when about two months have passed from mc I start feeling it would not be too bad not to have anymore kids, but initially after mc it is an impossible thoght!

My bfp vanished as predicted. waiting for AF now.

I think there will always be sadness over our losses & of what might have been Gum. I hope you feel better soon.
Sorry for the chem Jass.
My scan was fine!! I'm in shock. I've never had an 'everything's fine scan' even with dd. Nuchal fold is 2.2 which is the lowest I've ever had. I'll have blood tests tomorrow so will see what that brings but I am very hopeful.

that's lovely news, Grizzer

Fab news, grizzer Hope you'll be able to relax, once you have your blood results!

Fab grizzer so pleased for you

great Grizzer. Came to check for these news tonight and all good! happy for you!

jass So sorry that you've had another chemical It's such a rollercoaster, hope you're OK

gum Have you thought about counselling to help you coming to terms with not ttc-ing anymore? You are going through a type of bereavement, and dealing with that grief is tough... Just a thought.

I am OK Cloud. A chem for me is a disappointment, but not a loss. if it had to go wrong, I much prefer an early loss. On to the next cycle, even if AF is still missing. It has to come any day now.

big huge loves for jass and gum I know its not much and wont tak away the pain or worry or stress of whats happened, but hope it brings a tiny bit of comfort knowing others understand and care.

Great news grizzer, bet you are smiling from ear to ear!!

me...well Im now on my TWW since my first AF FINALLY arrived 7 weeks after my MMC...we shall see what gives in just 14 days.....but im not putting my eggs in one basket, preferring to think negatively about it, then if i get a BFN, im prepared, and a if i get a BFP then thats a bonus!

Hi can I join ur thread I'm only 36 tho but figured I might have more in common with you guys. I have 3 mad busy boys and am Ttc a 4th child if I'm honest I would like a girl but I'm so broody the sex doesn't really matter plus I already have my boys name ready lol. I feel selfish trying for a 4th, the impact it could have on my family, plus it would mean a 4th csection and I bled heavily in my last, but iv been ignoring the broodiness for over a year and have decided I don't want to live a life with regrets. Am I selfish ? I have had 2 miscarriages inbetween each child, I'm just really scared it's been a long time since I was last pregnant. I'm already going mad I'm so obsessed, I'm struggling to work out ov times and had every symptom under the sun last month can anyone identify with my situation? Xx

bella can totally identify. Im currently ttc #6 (I say number 6 but i mean #6 live birth, having had a missed mc at 14 weeks in 1996 and another in may just gone, at 9 weeks.

I have wanted one more to complete my family, since my youngest was about 1, but i put it off and put it off, due to what others might say about my age (im 44) and the fact i have 5 already from 21 down to 5 years old.
and decided 2 years ago when my mum needed an urgent heart operation, unexpectedly, that I didnt want to wake up one morning and it be too late, and live with regrets the rest of my life...so started trying. it took nearly 2 years to catch with a pregnancy, only for me to lose it in may....but im determined to give it as bloody good go as i can, as before too long, it really WILL be too late.

go for it hun...carpe diem! (#YOLO and all that :D

Just had 'THE phone call!' Bloods have come back as high risk for downs. No real surprise I suppose but after the lovely scan it's disappointing. Have to go back tomorrow for another blood test & then another 2ww!

Oh grizzer, how rubbish! Did they give you the details, ie your beta-Hcg and the Papp-A levels? I think that our age, those values need to be looked at individually, instead together with age... Are you going to have the Harmony test now? Crossing everything for you xx

I don't know what the results were Cloud. Silly not to ask but the midwife who rang told me she will talk to me in depth tomorrow & then went on & on about who had booked me in because all of this should have been explained to me & I should have had enough blood taken when I went yesterday.
The hospital now offers a free blood test instead of having cvs or amnio so no need for harmony test. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure what the harmony involves so it might be the same thing. All I know is, if you're high risk, you don't have to pay for it. There's no point in worrying, results take 2/3 weeks to come back so I will try not to stress.....
Do you think a poorly baby is linked with sickness? I am ok until about 11am and then I just move from sofa to bed back to sofa with extreme nausea. I was hoping it would be getting better by now but it seems to be getting worse!

grizzer, high risk from bloods only is not so bad. if they have got the dates wrong for example, it will be wrong, for example.I hope the free blood test they offer is indeed harmony, just not named like that. Sorry for this worry, you did not need it! Hope it is just a hiccup!

Hi all, just checking in because I've dropped off all threads. Took some time away from mn to get my head together. I guess being on here means I'm not giving up ttc. I agree with everything you have said gum.

Grizzler great news on the scan, hope you are reassured tomorrow during your conversation.

Jass sorry about the chemical but yes, an early loss is much better.

Flotillas fab news about the heartbeat sorry it's taken me so long! Hope you are keeping well.

Cloud so chuffed for you

Ozmund I'm so sorry to read your story, it's so heartbreaking. I hope you have seen your GP. You really need a referral to see a consultant.

hello fatty in your tww.

Hello to everyone, sorry not to name everyone you were all so lovely and supportive to me. Thank you all so much for being there and understanding.

I have been desperately sad at times dealing with the loss. I can't still cope with facing people. I thought I was through the worst but I saw a friend at the weekend being congratulated for her giving birth to a baby boy by a crowd of people from my village and got it into my head that she blanked me. She didn't she was just being her lovely self and in a whirl of hugs and kisses. I don't know if she knows about my mc's but the last time I saw her was on the maternity ward after being told there was no heartbeat at the scan and she must have been in for a check-up, we glanced at each other as I walked past the ward but I looked away quickly. I was being paranoid that people don't see me anymore because I don't have children and I'm not a mum. It's completely irrational but it triggered a breakdown.

I am hoping my period will arrive in a couple of weeks and I can start ttc-ing again after that for a few months. I would love to have a complete break but that is just unrealistic at 42.

Good luck those in tww. I hope there are some BFPs brewing!

My risk is 1:25 and the factors are my age & the hcg level. I asked what caused that to be high & she said no one knows & I could have the test at a different time & get a different result. My nuchal fold result was very positive so all in all I'm not going to worry & what will be will be.
Obviously I googled high risk bloods yesterday & there were plenty of stories of women with no risk factors who had a down's child & plenty the other way round. We will cope no matter what.
Annie you have been amazingly strong. You don't have to hide from people. Why not tell them about your loss? I hope you are able to talk to friends, it's so important. Hope AF arrives soon.
I have about 20 cheap pg tests & a bottle of unopened fertility vitamins that are supposed to increase cm. I used the same brand fertility aid tablets the month I got pg so worth a try. Pm me your address if anyone wants them & I'll get them in the post.

annie Give yourself time, hun. You've experienced a loss/bereavement, and you need time to grieve. Some days will be better than others, and hopefully, and some point, the good days will become more frequent than the bad ones. If you don't feel up to being social, don't be. I went through stages of completely stopping contact with almost everyone, focussing on what I wanted to do, and it really helped. Have you thought about booking a nice holiday maybe?
Taking a break is not such a bad idea - maybe if you set yourself a specific time off, to then re-evaluate how you feel? What does your DH think? Don't be hard on yourself, nature is doing that for you xxx

grizzer Really hope that waiting time passes quickly for you! HcG levels can be influenced by so many things... Keeping everything crossed for you!

Grizzer, I really admire your attitude!

Grizzer I'm glad to hear they will offer you the additional blood test, I had heard the NHS were looking into introducing NIPT but expected it would still be years off. I would also be interested to know whether it's Harmony or the NIFTY test. I started researching it a bit and the NIFTY seemed to have slightly better stats than the Harmony, but not much between them really.

Jass I am sorry your bfp faded and you're waiting for AF again.

I haven't been feeling too down since my mc but am a bit low today. Day 21 and have had a high on my cb opk for the last 11 days.... how long before I ov again?

Hello everyone, I'm popping over here after being pointed in this direction very kindly by Cloudjumper. I'm on the RMC threads for testing having just suffered my 3rd MC in a row in 10mths. Our stats:
Me 43, DP 39, DS 2
Ttc #2 since July 14, 3MC. #1 natural, 2MMC and ERPC.
Desperately hoping for a sibling for DS and panicking about my age, I'll be 44 end of January, and having had 3mc I'm worried if it'll work. We are going to have tests done over next couple months and then I hope try again. I'm very interested in what supplements are good to take, diet etc to help egg quality and to provide best chance, any advice appreciated!
Oh and had AMH test done which came back low/undetectable so really feeling in last chance saloon here!! However trying to remain positive that it can still happen in your 40,s.

Emerald, at our age group, 3mc is not yet enough to be sure something is seriously wrong. unless youhave had 5, it is not at all probable that you have a rmc issue, may be down to bad eggs and therefore next try may be THE ONE. Good thing is you fall pg relatively often, so room to try. On supplements, I guess our thread carries lots of ideas, but apart from CoQ10, maybe omega 3 and of course folic acid always there seems to be nothing universal we do!

Thanks Jass I think you maybe right, it's probably bad eggs due to age and nothing you can do about that except hope for a good egg, if there's any left! Still think it's worth having the tests to rule out any causes before trying again. I do hope next try is the One. I'm surprised that I have fell so often at my age as they say it's less likely then. What's CoQ10 and where is best to get it from?

Hi could I join?

I've just read the full thread and got a handle on who everyone is and what people have been through. I'm pretty awed by the generosity people have shown to others at such hard times for themselves. I'm really sorry for some poster's recent losses.

I'm 40 and TTC no2. Was amazed to get pregnant shortly after deciding to try (DH had been reluctant and I was quite happy to enjoy life as it is but was aware of age) We only dtd a few days before ovulation so it really wasn't likely. I couldn't believe my luck. That became a chemical pregnancy two weeks ago.

I was quite philosophical and felt very energized and healthy and focused and assumed we could get straight back to trying. Cue crazy af high temps. Positive opk at cd4 then neg opk but no ovulation then another pos opk at cd10 but still no ovulation 2 days later. I went to a (Zita West affiliated) acupuncturist yesterday hopeful that would give us a better chance but was told I should stop trying at least until we have another couple of sessions. As she then I am going on holiday that could be another couple of months. She said I had a weak pulse... I definitely felt the treatment getting to work though.

I just wondered if in all your collected wisdom and experience anyone had been told to stop trying in this way and if so, if you obeyed?! I had naively thought the chemical might boost my fertility so to be told I should actively prevent for the next couple of months has made me feel worse than having a bfp for a few days and then not. I'd really appreciate your thoughts. If it's relevant I've felt totally shattered over the last two days even though I'm usually quite fit and healthy. I thought I'd picked something up from DS but maybe it's hormones? But would that be from the cp or is it more likely that weird hormones caused the cp? Urgh. Sorry I'm on my rubbish phonr at the moment. I'll aim to be more succinct and less me me me in future posts!

I feel awful that I can't keep up with this thread & get to know people but the mumsnet phone app is awful to use & makes it near impossible to keep up to date with everyone's posts.

I wanted to ask if fibroids could be a problem when ttc? I'm going to gp next week but she's not the most enthusiastic or supportive person so I like to have some info if even anecdotal.i don't even know if I do have them but symptoms & genetics suggest a likelihood.