Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Hey hags, long time no read. I was away for the bank holiday - woop! No, it was a wedding, and a boring one at that, so no woop. Super tired now.

fizz! PUPO!! Amazing. Come on, embies.

barking, hope you are ok, hag. It's awful.

I will catch up with the thread anon. I have no idea what's been going on - it fell out of my "I'm on" yoke, and there I was thinking you were all very quiet. But I have many pages to catch up on.

I'm horribly crampy, so I guess the droid is imminent. Grr. I was sort of hoping for a "clear out" miracle. We've made an appointment with our consultant to talk through our next step (IUI), with a view to June being the first attempt. He didn't seem overly bothered re the narrow tube, but said it might mean a higher risk of ectopic, so if I did manage to get diffed, I'd have to be carefully monitored.

Just remember when considering fred themes, NGCOAWT

blue I feel like screaming at the screaming mum next door sometimes. It must be miserable being yelled at all the time. She's so bloody fertile, why her?!

bad I think getting married on a bank holiday is plain rude. How dare they take your three day holiday?! How bloody presumptuous!!

I think the droid has arrived, was spotting this morning. That makes it a magnificent 7 day luteal phase! What the fuck?! How the hell is no one acknowledging this as a possible issue?!?!

GNNNRRRRR!!!! am full of rage for all the shitness and rubbish neighbours and baby bombing. And in a right old stew that these embies haven't had a great start - stomach bug on Sunday / yesterday, then a stressful day at work today, pg announcement, fucking awful traffic jam and a 5.30 wake up call tomorrow for a conference 2.5 hours drive away! I have been attempting to take it easy, and remembering that women conceive babies in war zones yadayadayada but honestly, hags, it's not easy!

Sorry for the me me me post. Off to listed to some soothing zita west shiz. Back later.

Afternoon hags. When I left the house this morning, it was bitterly cold and raining. Then the sun came out when I was driving, and I had no sunglasses. Then it hailstoned apocalyptically for about ten minutes. Now it's sunny again and I am boiling in my office. Grr.

Fizz, I hope you are feeling more zen today (although probably not if you are conferencing).

barking, any sign of the droid? I don't understand why they aren't taking the short luteal phase seriously. It seems kinda important. Shouting and foot-stamping is in order.

No sign of the droid, but it hovers. It's sure to arrive on Friday, just to ruin my weekend. In the meantime, I'm clinging desperately to the hope of post-HSG fertility.

Barking I agrees with Badb... I don't know, my gyno wasn't too happy with my 11 day LP cycles. It seems to have settled into 12-13 days now but he did say keep an eye on it.

Badb I hope the droid stays well away!

Hags, anniversary of my mum's passing and the mc last year fast approaching. I just want to curl up and cry but I am, like Fizz, conferencing...

Any tips on how to go through 'being social at work' when you just want to be alone, watch crap tv and eat even crapper food?

Fuck it, with those anniversaries in mind I don't think you have to be social. I only have pMT (raging pmt) and im holed up in my office avoiding everyone possible. Sod other people (unless that would get you fired of course!)

Fizz - poor you and the busy. Hake of holding on tightness to little embies, as you say others get diffed in all sorts of situations, don't be too hard on yourself

Bad - hope the droid isn't on it way, we are due an ironi-diff on the board!

Barking, it's all fucking shit isn't it. Wish I had advice but I don't. I'm sorry no one is hearing you on this.

I've spent my working day speaking to someone who never wanted to be a mum (4 kids later) and reviewing reports for another of her 8th unwanted child. 8!! EIGHT!!!!!!

Oh god Blue, you are a legend!

I know I'm 'allowed' to be sad and not super social but the whole point of me being here is to do some networking too so I might as well try and use it as a distraction, if possible...

It's all a bit too much at the moment. I wish it was June already! Or October and IVF time (if we do wait that long...). Gah.

Fizz hope today has been better. When's OTD?

Sorry for droid's and sad anniversaries. Come on universe, the BESH are due a break!

fizz did the Zita West shiz help? When I was in a bit of a state (sobbing by the river) last weekend I decided that listening to a meditation might help. I stopped it after less than a minute, any longer and I'd have thrown my phone in the river... It is the first time it hasn't helped, to be fair!

bad droid is very much here. Blood and cramps, bloatedness and bad spots . But I am going to be as the girls in the bodyform ad but with a mooncup - I cycled to and from work, I went for a run with the dog and now I'm off for a swim! Take that, droid! Here's to a droid absence caused by diffment for you though!!

Erica I'm not sociable at work so I have no tips, sorry. DCW is excellent at talking to people he doesn't know, he just asks them loads of questions. Hope it's proving a reasonable distraction, come wail on here whenever you need to .

Blue 8?!?! What the fuck? That's one for each of us plus some left over isn't it?!?!

Evenin' all. The zita west shiz did help a bit, and today has been a bit better, fanks. Still struggling to feel positive but I do have some womble cramps, which might be a good sign, right? OTD is next Thursday.

Erica, socialising at a conference always feels like such hard work! I am glad to be home tonight. What's the food like at yours? Usual soggy broccoli?

Fizz Glad to hear that Da Zita helped a bit. I need to get back into my relaxing CDs, I just seem to be so wired at the moment! So I know what you mean Barking

The food at the conference is ok and I am defiantly drinking lots of lovely coffee because fuck it, healthy living doesn't seem to make a difference to our TTC efforts - stamps foot-.

Thanks Cave and Barking. I am not feeling as bad as I was expecting and my workmate is being really lovely about it and taking over the most demanding clients socialising. Bring in tomorrow and a large gin, I say.

Barking I am loving your fuck you droid strategy!

Blue 8?? Really? ??? Jesus.

Aaaand...UTI. Wonderful.

Erica, take care of yourself, hag.

Argh! Just started to pull myself together at work and got asked to do a task I don't normally do, asked why the usual woman couldn't do it ... All together now hags, can we guess why she's not free??

That's right, she on FUCKING maternity leave!! Fucking cunting fucking bollocks! I so need a break ..

Oh no Bad, Poor you!

Erica,glad you survived it and lovely coffee always helps.

Barking, im never sociable to anyone

Fizz - come on womble cramps, do your implanting business

I'm in a complete panic today hags, my internal dialogue is just repeatedly yelling "this is never going to happen for you!"

Blue Sorry you are feeling like this. I think to happen to most of us now and then. Just try and be aware that your feeling/thought of 'this will never happen to me' doesn't make it a reality.

Holding and squeeeeezing your toe!

Thanks Erica, I really am fucked off with everything, I've really had enough today.

It doesn't help that Mr B is an arsewipe (remember I have pmt!) he just does nothing to help the situation and I don't mean to be rude but this is primarily his situation, his count is low, im absolutely fucking tired of feeling like his mother all the time - take your vitamins, put those underpants on, drink more water. I want a baby as a child not a fucking grown man!!

Thanks Bugs, I really don't understand why men are this way?!

But at least you made me smile with the Virgin Mary comment

Hope all is good with buglet

How are you today Blue?

I am having a 'it will never happen to me' day and I should therefore start making plans for a childless life... :(

So fed up...

Bugs I love the crying at the Virgin Mary story, and the happy ending! How is Buglette?

Ah Erica, im much better today! This swinging in mood at least gives me hope that each bad place passes. I'm sorry the bad place has got you, it's a fucker. We can do this Hag, me and you gonna be diffed together by Christmas time, you just wait and see