Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Sorry that's get a private scan from my clinic. The only private place local to me is closed at the weekends. Brilliant.

If the spotting is turning brown that is good, it means it is not fresh blood. I know what you mean about them not treating it as am emergency, I had to wait 2 days for a scan when I had my bleed.

Try to take it easy but if you are still worried in the morning do go to hospital, you will only drive yourself mad with worry otherwise

oh fab, the menkul never bloody stops. Wise words from the other hags but I know you'll still be worrying, quite understandably. I'm grabbing a toe to hold, hopefully you'll be feeling ok in the morning and this is just fablet getting extra comfy. Hang in there lovely.

fab, hope you and fablet are doing ok this morning.

How are you doing, Fab?

Thanks Hags. Still a bit of brown sludge when I wipe but the cramping has gone back to normal levels and my boobs are still aching so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that that's it. I'll take it very easy over the weekend until the scan on Tuesday and see how we're doing then. Jesus, just when the Menkul was getting easier too....

Much love to you Fab
, sod it, I'm soppy with people I care about, let's just get used to it!

Thanks Blue (have substituted love with a shoulder punch so's not to get too emosh).

We're going to see friends this afternoon who know about the journey so they'll be ok with me grabbing a nap and generally doing nothing which is great as a change of scenery and fun with chums is exactly what I need.

Glad to hear it, fab. Arm squeezes to you.

The droid is threatening, but still no sign. Ugh, I have to book the HSG when it shows its face.

The weather is wonderful here for a change, so I'm going to take myself off to the park instead of doing that research I'm supposed to be at.

barking, cherry, how are you ladies doing?

Fab poor you, how stressful! Like everyone said, spotting is usual (my friend's sis had three normal 'periods' before realising that she was pregnant. And she's a doctor! And she now has gorgeous baby).

I totally understand the mega-menkuling though, hurry up Tuesday!!

Barking and Cherry hope you have some fantastic plans for the week end!

I am feeling knackered and pretty anti-social so I am just going to stay in, do some work and watch TV! My life is too exciting.

Morning dudes, I've finally succumbed to lurgy and am having to slow down and admit defeat having been surviving on drucks for the last 4 days pretending to be well. I is now sick and snotty. Bastard full on droid arrived 2.30am Friday morning, while sharing a room with a very understanding colleague. Both awkward and sleep depriving, not to mention painful so less than ideal.

Fuck me Frankel your detective work is scarily impressive though I kinda wish you just hadn't nearly outed me on here you crazy hag no no, it wasn't me . Though actually despite the challenges it was a lovely time and I have to be forever indebted to my friend who took the brunt of a very raw time and had a very needy travelling companion.

Oh Fab, what ups and downs, I hope the spotting has stopped and you can enjoy a cosy, comfortable weekend with your friends. Hag fish of hope that all settles down to be well.

Love and arm punches to all.

Codfish of calm to you, fab - hope the spotting has stopped.

cherry sorry the lurgy got you. Are you home from your travails?

I started stimming this morning. Jeez Louise there must be a simpler way to get up the duff! Pills, patches, sniffing - thankfully no jabbing though. Why can't we just have a shag like most of the population?

Good luck Fizz, finally into stims time! At least you should feel better during this bit . How come no stabbing? What are the patches for? I only had stabs, for all my drucks, no sniffs or patches.

I'm feeling much better generally today so think everything is ok (hopes). Still feel pregnant anyway. Hopefully the scan on Tuesday will just make me feel better about things.

Chez so sorry you've succumbed to the lurg and droid at the same time but hopefully some time at home in your sickbed will give you time to grieve as well. Have the squid shrug for comfort.

Barking how are you doing?

Thanks for all your comfort Hags, you are the best!

Thanks fab! 'Stims' for me only means stimming the lining, not the ovaries - we will be attempting to use a frostie from the cancelled cycle. So no jabs and no egg collection. The patches are oestrogen, along with oestrogen pills, to hopefully thicken the lining enough for transfer. I'm taking the oestrogen in ever-increasing doses, with a view to tx at the end if April. We have five 1-cell frosties so it's a big unknown about how they will develop. Am trying to remain head-in-sand-like about it but finding it difficult!

Go to it hag and give it everything you've got, COW!

So glad to hear things have settled down Fab, hang in there till Tuesday for some mega reassurances. I'm sure all will be well and this is a temporary blip.

Oh hags I feel wretched, the hormone crash has got me big time, it feels like my heart is breaking. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm just utterly crushed and can't stop crying. ROCH got really angry with me yesterday for being so upset. It's just all so hopeless and confusing and I can't see any positives at the mo. He's said he flat out won't consider adoption and it just feels like all our options of having a family and the life that I'd imagined for us is slipping through my fingers one by one.

Oh Chez, this is really hard stuff with or without the hormone crash. I'm so sorry you are having to go through it and our incredibly stubborn bloody men often don't make it easier.

Is there someone around you could spend the afternoon with or you still got too much lurgy? It's great to have each other but sometimes when the men get angry and internalised and we get upset and expressive we end up clashing a little. Is there someone around who can be there with you?

And fizz, stims time, exciting never did I think all this terminology would make sense to me but it does

sending you a huge hug chez, there's no way out of these times aside from just keeping on putting one foot in front of the other. In the meantime wail, sob and yell all you need. ROCH obviously will have his own way of coping but he shouldn't be impinging on yours. The adoption question, if it is one, will wait till you're both out of the grieving process. Neither of you are probably ready to think about it objectively right now without everything else going on getting in the way so just focus on being kind to yourselves as much as you can.

fizz COW!!!

fab roll on Tuesday! excited for you!

Fab Glad to hear it's all feeling better. Tuesday, Tuesday!!

Fizz COW! How exciting! And I totally get being relieved at skipping the stabbing!

Chez Poor you, lovely. I've had similar arguments where Mr Erica wishes I would get over it and stop crying etc, it's horrible. Like Rain says, it's very early days to make a decision on what comes next. Maybe waiting until after you've seen the consultant may help? In the meantime, we are here for you.

Hags, I need a little advice. We have decided that if I'm not pregnant by August, we will try IVF which gives us four more goes, gahhh . However, we would like to actually start the treatment in August (we are going private) so we are thinking of meeting the consultant when/if my next droid arrives and tell him our plans so we can pre-prepare so to speak. And maybe see if it's worth to use clomid/femara/progesterone in the meantime not that it has ever helped but still.

Doest that sound like a sensible thing to do? Or is he going to think I'm a bit crazy for going to see him 4 months before we maybe, perhaps, doing IVF? With all the surgeries and drama last year, I was pretty much living at the clinic and I feel a bit self-conscious.

I should have clarified that because of work stuff, we wouldn't be able to go and see the consultant together in June or July, when it may make more sense to get the ball rolling.

So thinking of making an appointment in May.

erica I don't think that's mad at all! And the clinic will see people with lots of different circumstances. Slightly different situation, but we saw the consultant in early December to talk about this cycle, and due to various things didn't start until mid march.

I think it's fine Erica, you know I'm considering a private consultation before my nhs one goes through so that's the same really

Thanks Fizzy and Blue!

I am probably being ridiculous, it is a fertility clinic after all, but I get paranoid that the receptionist and the nurses must be thinking 'good god woman, still here? Still no baby?' And tutting. So I guess I want to do things right.

I know I'm coming accross rather pathetic but infertility makes me feel a bit like that sometimes.

erica I think that's sensible, not crazy.

fizz I know a couple of people about to do a fet who had all embryos frozen on day 1 and their clinics are going about it totally differently - one will unfreeze three embies, put the best one back and discard the others. The other clinic will defrost them all, put the best back in and refreeze the others. What is yours doing?

cherry I'm hearing you, hag. We've had another of our Making Plans to Be Happy routines. I found a couple of jobs at an international school in sunny Spain that we could both apply for. We discussed it, we researched it, we talked it over with friends, I was starting to think this was all meant to be... And two days later it's all off. For entirely sensible reasons, but I just feel so STUCK right now. I just want to be happy . Spent the wkd with friends who have a gorgeous baby. I could just about cope with the baby, but when doting grandparents turned up that was difficult, and the worst was seeing the dad interact with his baby son. I so desperately want to see DCW doing that . Her parents moved abroad years ago but have now put their house on the market so they can move back to the UK and close to where they live so they can see their grandchild. His parents are up visiting most weekends and are house hunting in the area. Everything is so wonderfully happy and bloody perfect. And I'm just .

fab glad you're feeling better, hope Tuesday comes quickly.

blue are you still thinking of going privately without Mr Blue? Are you going to ask him if he wants to come? I think DCW heard things clearer from the consultant as he's impartial and not emotionally involved.

Morning hags. Monday That is all.

Fab, I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better. Keeping everything crossed for tomorrow.

cherry, I hope you are doing ok. ROCH for sure is dealing with his own grief, but it's extremely unfair of him to try to control yours. I think sometimes the menfolk not only find it tough to process their own feelings of loss (society isn't great at acknowledging paternal longing, or male broodiness), but perhaps also are trying to deal with the urge to "protect" the ones they love from the hurt, and are angry that they can't. Still, that's no excuse for him acting like an ass - it was your body that went through this.

barking, I know what you mean about feeling "stuck" and in limbo. Electric blue kande of empathy for you. Maybe it's still early to be making decisions though - you're both probably feeling a bit "raw"? Could you revisit in a couple of weeks and start thinking about a new Plan to be happy?

Erica, not crazy or pathetic at all. Go for it.

Fizz, good luck with the stimming!