Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

blue it's horrible when the menfolk don't have an outlet. DCW sent a text to his mum to tell her it failed, but that he couldn't talk about it. The only friend he might have talked to is on holiday all week . I think getting lots of facts together is a great idea.

chez sorry about the snottiness and general blurgh. Droid had landed big time here, very heavy and very painful yesterday as if to say Ha ha, thought you were pg did you bitch?
Prague is an affordable Ivf option. It's where a berry recently got a donor egg ivf win with twinz!

Erica I don't know anything about Barcelona. My issue with any ivf abroad apart from my declaration that this was definitely the ended the road and we wouldn't start throwing money at private ivf is that DCW is limited to school holidays and I have very little time off, so it would perhaps be summer 2016 if it happened.... . And that would depend on DCW being willing to sacrifice his big summer trip as the timings would inevitably fall bang in the middle...

fizz fb is indeed the work of the devil. I have to use it for work, which is usually ok, it's just replying to the odd customer comment that's referred to me, but colleague has updated her profile pic to be a picture of her massive almost 9 month bump. I want to cry .

Barking makes sense, re: IVF abroad. I am 99% sure that we would do it here, same consultant we've had for nearly two years etc. But if things get delayed enough for one reason or another, we may be back in Europe by then and I heard really good things about a couple of places in Barcelona (then again, it could be just REALLY good marketing).

Sorry about the droid, hag. I hope you have the chance to rest, look after yourself and regroup a bit this week end.

I would say, try and not get to hung up on what you 'agreed to do'. Everything is so recent and raw, you may need some time for your feelings to settle before you can really decide what's next. I am terrible at changing plans and it does me no good!

Where is our newbie Tim, by the way? Did we lose you, new-hag??

Hello hags, how are you? cherry, I hope your conference is going ok. I know it's probably the last thing you want to do, but as erica says, hopefully it's a distraction for you. I find when I'm at conferences it's almost like playing a different persona, so I can kind of put my real "self" out of my mind for a bit. I hope that you are doing alright though.

Barking - I'm sorry the droid hit hard. Emotional pain is bad enough, never mind having to deal with physical pain as well.

Agree with you all that FB is the work of the devil. I'm lucky that most people I'm friends with on it use it pretty much only for work, so there isn't a huge amount of personal news. Some though - and a special place in hell is reserved for those who put up scan pictures as announcements.

I think I'm having another short cycle. Pre-droid cramping and uterine rumbling (sorry) have started in earnest. Fuck everything.

One trip down, back at home briefly to try fit two days work into two hrs and then head off again. My head is so full of snot it hurts but other than that we're doing OK.

At the start of this we were really not for DEIVF abroad because of the untraceability of parentage. If we had another go I think this is a route we'd have to look into. IF we go here. I blow hot and cold ATM.

Much like you Blue we can't actually talk about it. So, being Little Miss Give-Me-All-The-Information I am madly researching adoption and considering how I feel about stuff on my own. But I know it is way too soon to broach this stuff with ROCH, so I'm biding my time for a 'not too late, not too early, not too preoccupied, feeling a bit less under the weather, not too hungry, moon aligned to Jupiter' slot when he may be more inclined to discuss. Even then I have a feeling he'll consider us done and nothing to talk about.

It wouldn't work for us if I was to go off to see consultants behind his back, so to speak, I think I'd be considered scheming to force his hand into something but you know Mr Blue best. He's probably not as synical and may be cool with you doing the leg work.

Darn it to droid Barking and Bad. I really thought I'd have been in the same boat now - certainly was last time but it's teasing me. Spotting only andI'm thinking 'maybe I should POAS just incase'. Slap me please.

"sparrow fart" must be a horsey thing, I've only ever heard horsey folk use the term Cherry is your Liverpool stuff Aintree connected or just coincidence?

After my chemical pregnancy I took it pretty hard, bone-wracking sobs while on the phone to the clinic. The nurse was lovely and gave me details of a counsellor that they recommend, the advantage being you got 1 free session through the clinic. I took the session, despite my scepticism, and I have to say it worked. We didn't talk a great deal about fertility specifically, but more about me finding ways to distract myself a bit to stop me dwelling on bad thoughts. She helped me accept that none of the problems were my "fault". That there's no such thing as karma and I hadn't done something bad in my life to deserve fertility problems.

Is counselling an option for either of you barking or cherry? It might also help the menfolk.

She helped me accept that none of the problems were my "fault". That there's no such thing as karma and I hadn't done something bad in my life to deserve fertility problems. THIS!!

I've mentioned this before, but I've been seeing a counsellor for since last autumn and it's helped so much.

Sorry to hear that the droid is teasing Cherry. I am a spotter too, it sucks.

Just popping in to offer some Bollocks To It All blankets to chez and barking that I picked up cheap in Hags R Us. I hope the droid FTFOATFOSM as quickly as possible. In fact, maybe we should all just bundle under them, seems like everyone could do with sticking a finger or two up at the world at the moment.

blue I hope things with Mr Blue are going OK. I think the appointment with the consultant sounds like a really good idea. RAF and I are quite chatty with each other but sometimes, when it's really 'big' stuff we both have a tendency to shut ourselves off, more out of self preservation than anything I think. I do worry that when we get into the IVF this trait is going to become a problem.

erica Keira Knightly can also FTFOATFOSM.

Bah!

Ooo, rain, can I have the lemon yellow one please? .

I have had A Talk with DCW. He has accepted The Plan. Consultant will be bullied into scratch plus nk cells test. If that fails, I will go privately to Coventry. Because I like my woo lady and the woo needles are as a side benefit keeping the horrible, horrible acne at a level which doesn't make me want to hide in a paper bag every single day (only around Droid for a week and Ov for a week) he has also agreed I should keep going so she can work on balancing hormones/immune system/curb stress levels etc. He said I could have whatever would make me happy (within reason) but I felt like he agreed and supported me rather than dismissed me with a whatever you want.

I also discovered that he was very much of the mindset that ivf didn't work therefore it's never going to work. So I explained the nice guidelines were for 3 IVFs for a reason, and also the increased success for frozen cycles suggested by recent research. I hope that made him feel a little better. He tried to talk to his Dad but he just got an 'I'm sorry' and not a lot else, which made me feel a bit for him. He's gone to the pub tonight so I'm hoping he'll talk to someone (his mates can be quite good like that) or at least just have a good time catching up and take his mind off it. I still feel like bursting to tears for no reason, but given it doesn't take much of a trigger (I almost lost it with someone in the office over the punctuation of a title) I think I can put that down to hormones and look forward to being a more sane person soon .
Packing to go away again this weekend. Taking the road bike and the mountain bike. As usual, I'm going for beating the emotional pain with some physical pain until it makes me cry....

Droid still very heavy. Unusually so. But then I suppose I did have a perfectly lovely plump lining this cycle, which just makes me think how thin it must usually be .

Eh? I swear I replied earlier to Frankel and chez but it's not there?!

chez hope the snot fucks off soon. No slaps needed, spotting is a complete head fuck that gets all of us.

Frankel I can access free counselling at the clinic, I went a couple of times after the second mc. I don't feel quite so wracked with grief as I was after each mc, and at the moment I can't judge anyway as the AF cramps plus post ivf hormones are just making me feel generally depressed. If I don't feel stronger by the time we see the consultant I'll book in while we're at the clinic (and see if I can persuade DCW to come with me as I think it would actually really help him).

cherry, just seen your name badge on the attendees table for WiR at Aintree via Twitter I know a few other folk who are attending. I've been to some of their other events in the past, they're pretty good.

Sorry, should have said 'tis I Frankel: I've reverted back to my original MN username.

Fab did I miss your scan news while I was busy wallowing in self pity? I'm assuming everything was all good?! It was this week wasn't it? going a little crazy

This is what I want to say to this week and everyone I have met in it .
(nicked from another fred but I love it )

I think it was, hope it went well fab??

Haha Barking - blimmin perfect!!

You're right, I had my 10 week scan on Tuesday but it just seemed phenomenal insensitive to post when you and Cherry were going through such heartache. I don't know how you Hags are managing to go to work in top of everything, you really are amazing. I'm thinking of you every day and hope that you do get to have some counselling and also decent further expert advice as to what went wrong and why.

The good news from me is that I have a little bean with arms and legs in my tum now and everything seems to be progressing exactly as it should. I still don't seem to be able to get my head around it properly, it's almost as if I'm watching someone else's life. I certainly feel pregnant but I can't seem to associate it fully with it being me! Weird huh. Next scan in Tuesday week and then, all being well, we should be into official 'it's ok to tell people' land. I'm not sure if I told you before but both TWH and I had worked out the odds of this round working: I'd done an online calc that gave us 4% and he worked it out himself at just under 2%. We both then white lied each other and upped them when we spoke about it's that we wouldn't feel bad. But still. The point is we had between just under 2-4% chance of it working...and it did. Fucking miraculous quite frankly! Keep the faith and ignore the karma bollocks.

Amazing Fab .

Oh fuck. Spotting.

That's ok, isn't it fab? Aren't you allowed a little spotting? I don't pray but whatever the non-prayer equivalent is, im doing for you now

fab, I know it's hard not to panic, but try not too. Spotting is pretty common. Give your doc a ring if you feel you need to though. Sending you every good vibe I have.

Spotting is very common Fab I had several days of it at about 7 weeks and several ESH have had it throughout pregnancy with no ill effects. If you are worried call your midwife team or EPU.

Spotting with cramping and little clots?

Cramping seems to be easing a little and am monitoring the spotting/clotting. Spoke to the GP and he can't get a scan until Tuesday morning - apparently the nhs doesn't class it as an emergency. If i get sick or the pain worsens significantly or if I get uncontrollable bleeding blah blah then it's off to emergency. Currently lying in the bed with my sister's dog who has just wiped his pooey bottom on my nice white duvet. Nice. Don't really know what to think.

Spotting is understandably worrying but very common Fab. Are you not still under the care of your clinic? Do you have a midwife? I'd go to either of them before the gp - or call epu.

Midwife said to call the GP and GP called the EPU. I'll see how I feel in the morning as to whether I want to get a scan - it will involve a train journey into london which also isn't ideal...

Cramping not as bad now and spotting is almost gone (just pale brown). Taking it very easy.