Bring along any luck you can find ..This BESHly fred is brought to you by the magic number 3 - come on Hags, we can Foo it!

[Blue2014]

You know the drill by now ...

Rules of Entry - must be over 30, TTC no. 1 for over a year, be suitably evil and Hag like, willing to shout Cunt at the moon on regular occasions, consume extra gin when our fellow hags are unable to, and to get the nipple tassles out for any successful Hag ...

and now we've been trained by the government in our new MI5 roles, we are likely to get a little Ninja on your ass if you babydust round here ...

No admittance without a complete BESHtionnaire - see below.

Wowsers that's amazing Barking!!! Well done embies now keep on doing your thing COE!!!!!

Bugs - runny eggs are ok?? I've not had one in ages and I so miss a nice runny poached egg. They're a no on the nhs list?

Ooh cherry I'd love a nuzzle with a horse right now sounds like you're enjoying the early days of the 2ww - good for you hag!

Go barkembies go!!!!

It's amazing how quickly you go from to waiting impatiently for the next call (only 46 hours) and knowing there's still so far to go!

Barking I can tell you now this does not get easier!

Yay! Go Barking-embies, that's fantastic! What Fab said tho about the menkul, I had a little lol at that! Hang in their hag! I'm allowed to do a little jig then, yes?! Jury out on runny egg? I'm damn well cracking into my Pineapple today as well Erica!

There really is no finer place to be than with the horses, they're definitely zen inducing and of course le steed is the best of them all I have to go into work this afternoon for a meeting and already I'm a bit like, urgh, work? Really?!

Come on embies!!! Do yo thang (I don't know what it is about embie growth that gets me gangster)

Thanks for the Jizz advice ladies - am slightly completely terrified that it will be awful news but trying not to think about it for now.

Fizz - how you doing with the drucks now?

Bad - yep, back to work sucks (and you chez!) first day back after my hol today - made me feel like I hate my job even though I know I don't!

Erica'- we must have a pretty similar cycle - im just about to start the ttc secs too (not literally right now, it's not got so bad that I email whilst doing it)

Go embies! That's awesome barking, hopefully you'll get some to freeze too out of that haul!

Good luck for the gp results blue, when is he going?

Still feeling quite sore, need more painkillers. I thought it would have stopped hurting by now? Also quite interested to find out that everyone else I've heard from seems to have been knocked out for the egg collection, while I was awake through the whole thing, watching the needle go into each follicle, asking questions and chugging on the gas and air as it was bloody painful.

Ok, I'm going to change 'a bit sore' to this really fucking hurts and I'm currently curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor waiting for DCW to get back from walking the dog. Had a shower and the pain got worse and worse and started feeling really sick. All I can think about is wanting transfer on Saturday because I can't face them doing anything to me tomorrow.

Give your clinic a call Barking, you shouldn't be in that much pain.

barking, definitely ring your clinic. That sounds extreme.

Hags, I'm totally over this week already, and it's only Wednesday. I have a bad pain in my bum cheek since I fell on Monday, as though I have a bruise there (I don't). This is weird, because I fell forward, not backwards. I woke up yesterday morning aching all over, though I'm ok today. Apart from the bum.

Blue Yay, we can be anxiety erm, cycle buddies!! Good luck with the tests as well!

Chez Bought my pineapple! Are you eating it first thing in the morning? Straight from the fridge?

Fizz Hope the druck situation is sorted!

Barking That sounds like a lot of pain. I am with Fab, call the clinic!

Bad when you fell you probably lunged and pulled your arse muscle just to add insult to injury (pardon the pun). I like to call this Bowler's Arse from the number of times I've gone out for a bowling night (one of those work things that happens about once a year) and if you do one game it's fine but if you do two let alone three games, including the obligatory beers/cocktails that make you awesome by game two and shite but don't care by game the then the next day I'm normally crippled in the arse region of my bowling arm and have definitely broken my thumb nail.

Barking, any news?

bad that sounds painful.

I rang the clinic. Apparently this is normal. The ovaries swell up as fluid goes back into them and they can twist. Ouch. Paracetamol, wheat bag and rest. I called in sick and haven't even checked my email yet. Unfortunately the electrician is due to arrive soon and start destroying parts of the kitchen to try and find and fix the fault that caused the whole circuit to trip last Friday. So not really that restful...

Oh barking - hope it all gets sorted soon.

Yay for cycle buddies Erica - although in answer to rains question the jizz results were today - count too low to do a full assessment
But that's alright anyway isn't it hags? If I go private and pay the clinic for icsi then we can use the iOTO anthem for spaff too ...right?

Blue my love, I am sure that someone with more knowledge will come along in a minute but in the meantime...

One test is not super conclusive. Mr Erica has had a few (for testing and IUI) and a couple of times the results were pretty poor but the fertility consultant said that it was perfectly normal to have bad days. So don't despair yet!

IOTO !! IOTOO !! IOTO!!!!!!!!

Thanks lovely - that's what I was trying to convince myself but I'm much more easily convinced when someone else says it

Blue have they asked for him to do another test? This may be what he needs to give him the proverbial 'kick up the arse' in order to realise that it does I need take two to make a baybee and that includes two lots of effort too. So he needs to know that he needs to ejaculate 3 days before the test in order to have the best quality he can produce and drink plenty (not booze!!) and eat healthily and ideally take whatever it was that Bug's husband GP took that turned his jizz into super jizz. Sell it to him as this is his opportunity to show he has winners in there, he just needs to give them some training

But if you're worried don't forget that I am currently diffed from our worst jizz sample and we had to do icsi because of it. Our best sample didn't even get us a BFP. Go figure!

Barking that sounds horrid, I'm sure there's something to be said for the fact that you didn't have yours done under heavy sedation having an effect I hope it settles soonest and the electrician doesn't drive you mad!

Blue what Fab said. One sample can be different from another, it's not the end picture. Also, there's lots that can be done to improve it. Our consultant said that antioxidants had been shown to have a positive effect (just the pregnacare conception tablets for men give you the recommended stuff, but there are plenty of others out there). He might not like it, but cutting out booze is also advised. And the 3 day thing - that's what we were told for iui & ivf - if it's been more than 3 days there are old swimmers in there, less than 3 days and they haven't had time to replenish.
And even if it's a bad sample on the day they can do icsi to select the best if you get as far as ivf. Sorry, I'm sure you've already said but I can't remember, are you not going down the nhs route? If it's a male factor issue they would do icsi.

Oh and for the record, I'm not sure if I've ever said before but my bestie's husband had terrible spaff - so much so that with his previous wife (of 20 years) they were told they would never have children - bad spaff and his wife's body treated it as the devil. When he met my bestie they therefore knew right from the start it was unlikely that they would have children. They went through all the tests (get this though, they always knew that it was male factor infertility issues but she had to have a year's worth of tests on the nhs before they would do ivf. She had absolutely no infertility problems. They did icsi and got a win straight away, no extra drucks or faffing. Did icsi 2 years later, win no 2! He had poor morphology and motility I think.

And defo to what Barking just said

Hags, panic attack!

Last night my cheapie internet test was quite dark but not quite positive.

My Clearblue posh one was 'high fertility' flashing smiley this morning.

Just tested again with ahem, rather yellow urine.

Cheapie was negative
Clearblue was high fertility but when I took the cartridge out, the test line was way lighter than it's been the previous days.

Does this mean that I've missed my LH surge but my oestrogen is still quite hight? Have I missed ovulation (we didn't seks last night)? Am I ovulating right now? Can you have a drop of LH but not ovulate quite yet because oestrogen is still high? Should I STOP using these bloody things???