Life's a bitch but we keep on shagging! We've stocked up on gin and pics of cats! If your Miroid can't give you the big "O" then LTB and come join us! 50 shade's got nothing on us! It's JS'ing 40!!!!!

[jellypi3]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't?

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid 

Cat - Compulsory 

The link to Part 39 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2306410-Dont-let-your-clits-get-twitchy-and-do-anything-to-avoid-a-boil-in-the-bag-fanny-BFP-wholesale-van-rolling-in-to-deliver-to-all-the-viroids-no-superstition-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-39" target="_blank">Here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2309233-Well-crap-in-a-Jiffy-bag-Its-the-22nd-JS-Grads-thread" target="_blank">Here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Here</a>

We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Stoat I'm so sorry you had to go through that. They really should know better! Hope it doesn't come to surgery.

Rachel I had clinical depression for three years with my first long term partner, he helped me through so much and I'll be forever grateful. However, as I started to come out of it and go out and enjoy life more he too became resentful. We ended up drifting apart and eventually broke up. I think he felt he'd put so much energy into making me better we couldn't just leave it but in the end we were two different people. We're now both happier apart. Sorry I know that's probably not what you want to hear but I think it's sometimes an unfortunate fact

GX for testing lemon!

jelly the one time I got upduffed but didn't stick I had that constant wet feeling, was on constant knicker watch but it never came for a few weeks anyway until my insides fell out not to get your hopes up or anything

DH is fueling the crazy here by suggesting that the entire box of sticks I have weed on might all be faulty. Definitely not thought that myself. Not at all Still hoping for AF to arrive though because if I haven't got PMT then the only other explanation for my state of mind at the moment is that I am losing it completely! (May have broken my own personal best for number of detentions given in one day today. Oops. )

Stop fuelling the crazies viroids!!!

pud sorry you are still in limbo land.

lemon I wait with eager anticipation at your result tomorrow!

black it's such a horrible feeling because it has me dashing to the toilet so often. I just want to know. I'm sure if it is AF she will be here by tomorrow. I just keep feeling the "trickling" feeling I get with AF!! Gah! And even if the witch doesn't show tomorrow I still can't technically test till Monday when I will be 14DPO.

Technically 14dpo jelly? Surely if you go past your previous longest luteal phase then it's worth a test...

Haha yeh but I don't think anything will show up even if I was upduffed. I'll be past my last "best" DPO tomorrow (I made it to 8dpo last month, tomorrow will be 9).

Jelly, no! No POAS until Monday.

Vagina cam. Lovely!

Pud tell us some detention stories! How many? I think I might win. I once gave out a detention to a year ten who put his hand up then asked "miss, have you ever been raped?" In the middle of a lesson about water sanitation.

Nice honey. Have had similar from depressingly young kids.

Gave a detention to a kid once who walked past me in the corridor and said "hello sexy". After the 'talking to' I gave him he is literally never going to speak to a woman ever again.

You have been a chatty lot today.

stoat I am so annoyed for you right now. If/when you feel up to it you should put a complaint in. Being a nurse/doctor requires compassion, no matter what you have dealt with earlier in the day/week/whatever each patient needs the best care you can give. And talking behind your back and snapping at you - definitely not what I would call good care.

Sorry if this is too much of a personal question - but those of you that have said you are having or have had private counselling in the past - how did you decide on what counselor to use and how did you go about contacting them and actually starting to go see them? I'm debating it... I have a history of depression. I know I have been a lot worse than I currently am, but I am also aware of the warning signs and am considering jumping in and trying to stop it all before it gets too bad...

lil in terms of the Metformin - I am currently taking 3 tablets a day of 500 (mg?) each, so a total dose of 1500. For the first week I was on them I took 500, the next week at 1000 and from week 3 onwards 1500.

Sorry to hear things aren't improving ain :(

honey don't worry I won't make it till tomorrow Monday I'm sure of it. I can feel AF coming. Getting stabby pains in my right ovary at the moment. Still, I made it to 8DPO!!! Bright side and all that!

Yey for 8 dpo!!!

Haven't had any counselling myself Ain, but I do watch out for/look after my mental health as much as I can. Spotting and treating the warning signs is a very healthy thing to do.

evening all

lunch time stealth shag squeezed in today and because we wanted to, not for fucking ttc sake!

stoat I agree you should complain. it can't change your experience but if you can stop one other woman going through that its worth it. I know the NHS is under pressure but empathy and compassion cost nothing

ain that sounds like a decent dose from what I've read. I'd go back to drs if I were you. they may be able to give you something to induce AF like they did for jelly to reboot your system. I've also read ppl take clomid on metformin to bring on ov so that's worth an ask.

lemon how do you find this shit?! I definitely won't be buying the home dildo cam!

pud limbo is shit.

honey omfg at asking if you've been raped! how on earth does a person react to that! imagine if he'd said that to someone who had am assuming you haven't and the hurt and upset it could've caused. just wow!

I'm nakered. final 5.30am start tomorrow thank God. never again, my mum can find someone else to do it!

It's okay jelly. In terms of depression related stuff I feel I'm in a better place in that I can sort of deal with it, and I know what can trigger the really bad emotions. better than my teenage self anyway...

I'm terms of the metformin stuff though... I don't think the doctor will do anything just yet. but would it be worth asking? or maybe waiting another month til the easter holidays and then going? oh wait until August when I've been ttc for a year?

oh forgot the counseling question ain, I got referred by my gp. saw a wonderful lady and it was really helpful. think there will probably be a bit of a wait but its worth looking online for CBT while you wait if you don't want to go pvt. I can get some websites from dh if you like. think la is also a firm believer in the power of CBT.

can't hurt to go and be told to wait longer ain,better than not going and being told you could've gone in sooner!

cross posts lil

I actually took out a book from the library about cbt the last time was in there a week and a half ago. haven't had chance to look at it yet though..

before half term I had a bit of a mini breakdown at school. It was triggered by something, but yeah. of all people to break down in front of it was the school educational psychologist. she was very kind and has suggested I do try and get help before things get too bad... she actually gave me some websites that I am going to have a look at as well as speaking to the school counsellor for me (with my permission). I'm actually going to speak to the school counsellor on Monday to see what she suggests. she's primarily there for kids, but also meets with staff to discuss issues but in pretty sure she wouldn't be able to be an actual counsellor for me in the general scheme of things.

really hoping none of you secretly know me and work at my school

Thankyou for your rage viroids, it means a lot.

ain I have private counselling, I found a clinic near my work and just phoned up one day for an appointment and got in the next day. I just gave it a go and felt like we were a good fit, I didn't read her profile until after my first session, I think that might have been free to see if she felt she could help me. Her special areas are relationships and families. she's great. I have had spells of not going but when I've felt I need to, have gone back. Sometimes it's fortnightly but it's weekly right now. I'm going tomorrow. She's just lovely, I cried last week in my session and her eyes filled up, her empathy meant the world to me. I think she finds me quite an interesting client - at the moment she is researching the mind/emotion/body relationship and given that I'm seeing her about my feelings about getting/being/no longer being pregnant, I sort of like that it's relevant to her (not that she gives much away). She's impartial and she's mine, I don't have to hold back. It's great. I'm going tomorrow and I'm looking forward to seeing her.

Yes Lil, that's what I said to him! (Thankfully not!)The little shit bag. He was the sort of kid who got kicked out every single lesson. Eventually he left. He wanted to join the military which amused me as he couldn't ever keep his gob shut for more than 30 seconds.

Hello viroids! Hope you're all getting lucky ;)

Name: SkyWasMadeOfAmethyst
Age: a whisker short of 36
DC's: DD4 and DSD5
TTC Since: the day after tomorrow.
Stage in cycle: had icing cramps last Thursday
I had to drop out a few Freds ago due to persistent respiratory infection requiring antibiotics and sleep (yuck) Currently: heathy, happy, got a date with the stirrups to remove BC on Thurs. Ready to get my cape on... Gingers crossed for you all!

Hi Sky waves

Wow, small age gap! Do the girls in your life get on well?

stoat i am so sorry to hear what you are going through and